I have just had a recent issue come into my existence. A friend of 20 years hurt me badly. I was stolen from. I let this man stay in my house, fed, and took care of him for 6 months, and his girlfriend started coming around for a month. when we where gone to get our sons new wheelchair, the stole 300$ camera, 30 xbox games, and few hundred dollars...... I know it was attracted to me for a reason. I know it was a co creation. I know it is a lesson to be learned. But that doesn't change the hurt..... the anger. And the financial loss I have had to endure.I know WHAT I am supposed to do, just doing it is so hard. How do I act on this? It has made me very imbalanced, even when I feel it is done and has passed. I see him or the police call me with updates. So how do I act upon what already is known. Forgive, learn, understanding that this is not personal act against me, only HIS imbalances?

asked 02 Nov '12, 16:56

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

Hi Rob,

First let me say again what I said to you on fb, no one could deserve such a thing less. You selflessly help so many others, this seems an incredibly cruel circumstance, and I am sorry to hear that you and your family have been treated in this way.

Of course you know exactly how to look at this, how to handle it. It's a sign post for you, as our @Cory said to me recently, that there is something within you that requires your attention. I believe you will expand your understanding and capacity for compassion even further through this experience, and come out on the other side of it even richer in love, friendship and wealth than ever before.

If you are like me, it is the betrayal that is getting to you. You have given your all from your very heart, and have had it thrown back in your face. Your guard was down, and your most precious treasures, your wife and son, have been hurt by this. Maybe worst of all, this man was an old friend, and knows exactly what he has done, and how it has affected you.

The important thing is not him, it's you. When I was painfully betrayed, I had this sense that I needed to allow the pain. I allowed it to make me intensely vulnerable. I had my heart broken, and I let it break me wide open, if that makes sense. I didn't talk about it to anyone, and after a certain point, I wasn't even exactly sad. I just lived with no defenses left around my heart at all. I had no more protection from the world than a kitten, and I somehow welcomed it, knowing it was part of the expansion process I was experiencing.

I think it's about not denying that you have been hurt. It made me feel calm, peaceful, sweet; very soft and loving. I felt my senses heightened, and could see more clearly than ever; from physical things, to the things that people do and why they do them, because I was looking from a vantage point of no inner walls at all, with no obstructions between my heart, and everyone else's.

I mention this to you, because I think this helped me heal a bit better than I would have otherwise. Struggling with the hurt and anger sounds like struggling against it to me. Of course the more you fight it, the more of your own energy and power you feed it. You can't pretend it didn't happen, so let it come. Be hurt. Be angry. Yell, cry, sob. Skype me! I can take it. :) Let it in, experience it, and let it pass.

I know I am not the wonderful wise one you need from this site to guide you. :) I just wanted to share what I see, and what I've been though, in case it may help you in any small way to feel some comfort.

When something in one part of your life is suddenly gone, I think it's smart to immerse yourself in the good that is still there for you. That's why I'm so glad you brought this here. You lost friendship, trust, and love. All those things are here for you. Maybe if you spend some time hanging around IQ, you could infuse your sweet spirit with all this love on offer, and let it help with your healing. You're welcome to fall backward into this community - we will catch you! :)

Love, Grace



answered 03 Nov '12, 01:12

Grace's gravatar image


@grace-thank you so much..,today,i needed all this..,thank you again..

(03 Nov '12, 11:11) supergirl

@supergirl, I am glad it was useful to you, though sorry to hear you needed it, sweet girl. I believe with all my heart that IQ is the place to visit when you're hurting. I've never known such love and wisdom, anywhere.

(03 Nov '12, 11:44) Grace

@grace ty very much sweetheart, ur words helped me for while, but every time my wife gets upset or people call about it, it suks so bad, brings that stuff right back up to the surface.

(03 Nov '12, 14:45) TReb Bor yit-NE

@grace Thank you. I still feel like a lost stranger looking at love from "the outside looking in". Even though the love we feel here is transmitted on electrons I feel this IQ is filled with love and caring for strangers who are unknown but for their clicks on the key pad. Thank you

(03 Nov '12, 15:14) suds

@suds . welcome here. when u see that we are more than strangers, we are strangers who love u :-) please try this out, see if it helps u. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiESuF7nWWk

(03 Nov '12, 15:21) TReb Bor yit-NE

@treb - I'm sorry Rob. I woud dearly love to spare you this. There are wiser heads here for you dear - keep talking, keep asking. They will come. The only way out, is through.

(03 Nov '12, 16:14) Grace

And please give your wife and son a big warm hug, and tell them it came with a ton of love from gracie in california.

(03 Nov '12, 16:17) Grace

@suds, you are in the best place for you, in my opinion. The love here is backed up by wisdom that is beyond my reach, but I'm always aspiring... The combination of both wisdom and love here is life changing if you make up your mind to learn from it.

(03 Nov '12, 16:21) Grace

@grace,,, no no no, ur words got me through this very well, as i haven't been on Facebook and didn't remember the post till i started writing this question, i am very VERY glad that u where there, are there , and will be there for em in this time. thank u sweetheart,. and my love is with u. And my wife and son have received their hugs from u now. :-)

(03 Nov '12, 20:14) TReb Bor yit-NE
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

learn from it, that friend is not a true friend.if he where a true friend he would not have did what he did,but it is is choice and he is responsible for it.but he must see only the outside of the cup and is trap in the darkness,jealousy,greed,hypocrisy,fullfillement of anny desire at anny cost,iniquity,self-rightenous,hate,anger and conflict. if he is cutting him self from you and want to be like a dead branch that will withers it is is choice and he is responsible of it:

If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. http://bible.cc/john/15-6.htm


if he change is way and repent and make every effort to change is ways.then give him another chance if not you all ready know what will happen.

but between you and me you all ready know that some people need to go to the bottom of the barrel before they make the right decision. so forgive them anny way as you should forgive your self and learn from your error.

So let there be light,Be the light that you can be,experience and enjoy.


answered 03 Nov '12, 08:42

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 03 Nov '12, 15:49


Well said,white tiger.Love and Light.

(03 Nov '12, 09:30) Roy

ty so much white tiger. love n light 2 u and ty so much.

(03 Nov '12, 14:44) TReb Bor yit-NE

You believe that you've attracted this and that this is an opportunity to learn a lesson. The hard part is actually getting to the point to where you truly understand deep inside and finally letting it go.

This sort of thing (I think) is normally difficult, especially when you know how you should go about assimilating the experience into yourself. I was sort of thinking of this last night while drifting off to sleep - not exactly the same situation, but perhaps a similar dilemma. Someone said something that bothered me. I didn't like what this person was implying even though this wasn't directed at me personally. I knew this but I was still angry and upset. This causes me to sort of brood on this occurrence and I know this isn't exactly conducive to a peaceful and balanced existence. Now, my problem, which is sort of similar to yours, is that I KNOW that I have a problem with letting things go and getting upset and dwelling on negative things. I also know this is something I need to work on. Even though I KNOW this, I still struggle with doing what I know I should do, which is question myself why this bothers me so much and separate the incident from myself because it is a problem that is mine that I should try to overcome. (I really hope I don't sound confusing here).

The reason why I am replying to this question is because it resonated with me, and I was surprised to see a question I was thinking of asking. The answer that I came up with is that I should accept that the feelings I have aren't something that aren't mine and that I have to embrace the fact that I feel them and not isolate them because the more I try to the more I seem to dwell on it. I was thinking it's sort of like when you are meditating and you have thoughts that the best thing you can do is to let them come and them let them go just as easily. Trying to control them only makes them stand out more or remain longer than you might like.

I really hope I have helped, I'm sorry if this isn't the answer you were looking for because I'm still a little jumbled on the topic. I'm sorry this happened to you.

edit: I just wanted to add that I wasn't implying you have problems letting things go, that's just me!


answered 02 Nov '12, 17:40

Halcyon's gravatar image


edited 02 Nov '12, 17:43


Exactly, and no i didn't think that, for me i help many people with these same problems, everyday. It is when we are closest to the issues that we can not see it in higher perspective. It is so hard for me to release this, but what Treb said to me long ago was," all emotions, and all negative feelings are flags, do not suppress them, know them for what they are and learn. Learn about what beliefs, and what thoughts led you to feel such a way, and then work on urself to change them." ty very much

(02 Nov '12, 18:18) TReb Bor yit-NE

Yes, I think that is exactly right, and much less convoluted than what I was trying to say! Sometimes I answer these types of questions for my friend and I feel as if I'm pulling from somewhere else, but I'm hesitant about it, which is probably why my thoughts come out so jumbled all the time. I'm glad that I was of some help to you and you're welcome.

(02 Nov '12, 18:55) Halcyon
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