Hello everyone! I have a question that's been on my mind for a while. It's like the title states, how does one deal with parents? Especially when they can be quite controlling... I want to practice patience, but what they do just seems to go against my logic. I've obviously argued with them many times and try to get them to back to more logical thinking. I don't want to leave them because I do care for them. I know I'd probably feel bad leaving them, but reality can be harsh and kill that motivation instantly. I do my best to obey them but I can sense how fearful they can get. I can see why they have to control so much.

Hm.. interesting, I think I solved my own question here!.... You see, I get really angry at them when I know what they do is out of fear. It only gets worse when they tell me to do things that are useless. Now, I don't think I can get THAT angry at them compared to before. I just need to remind myself that they're scared. When anyone is scared, logic just fails to even be processed.

Anyways what do you think?

asked 26 Jan '12, 20:00

MattC's gravatar image


edited 26 Jan '12, 21:28

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

You really did answer the question yourself Matt. Realizing that your parents are probably coming fom a place of fear or ignorance will lead you to respond from a place of Love and compassion and you will find that your tolerance and patience will begin to improve dramatically.

Soon you will begin to see that they really are doing the best they can, from their own state of awareness, and even amidst the dysfunction and control they are really still teaching you :)


answered 26 Jan '12, 20:19

Michaela's gravatar image


When everything is going our way, patience is easy to demonstrate. The true test of patience comes when our rights are violated—when another car cuts us off in traffic; when we are treated unfairly; when our coworker derides our faith, again. Some people think they have a right to get upset in the face of irritations and trials. Impatience seems like a holy anger. The Bible, however, praises patience as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) which should be produced for all followers of Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:14). Patience reveals our faith in God’s timing, omnipotence, and love.

Although most people consider patience to be a passive waiting or gentle tolerance, most of the Greek words translated “patience” in the New Testament are active, robust words. Consider, for example, Hebrews 12:1: “Therefore since we also are surrounded with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us” (NKJV). Does one run a race by passively waiting for slow-pokes or gently tolerating cheaters? Certainly not! The word translated “patience” in this verse means “endurance.” A Christian runs the race patiently by persevering through difficulties. In the Bible, patience is persevering towards a goal, enduring trials, or expectantly waiting for a promise to be fulfilled.

Patience does not develop overnight. God’s power and goodness are crucial to the development of patience. Colossians 1:11 tells us that we are strengthened by Him to “great endurance and patience,” while James 1:3-4 encourages us to know that trials are His way of perfecting our patience. Our patience is further developed and strengthened by resting in God’s perfect will and timing, even in the face of evil men who “succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes” (Psalm 37:7). Our patience is rewarded in the end “because the Lord's coming is near” (James 5:7-8). “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him” (Lamentations 3:25).

We see in the Bible many examples of those whose patience characterized their walk with God. James points us to the prophets “as an example of patience in the face of suffering” (James 5:10). He also refers to Job, whose perseverance was rewarded by what the “Lord finally brought about” (James 5:11). Abraham, too, waited patiently and “received what was promised” (Hebrews 6:15). Jesus is our model in all things, and He demonstrated patient endurance: “Who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).

How do we display the patience that is characteristic of Christ? First, we thank God. A person’s first reaction is usually “Why me?”, but the Bible says to rejoice in God’s will (Philippians 4:4; 1 Peter 1:6). Second, we seek His purposes. Sometimes God puts us in difficult situations so that we can be a witness. Other times, He might allow a trial for sanctification of character. Remembering that His purpose is for our growth and His glory will help us in the trial. Third, we remember His promises such as Romans 8:28, which tells us that “all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” The “all things” include the things that try our patience.

The next time you are in a traffic jam, betrayed by a friend, or mocked for your testimony, how will you respond? The natural response is impatience which leads to stress, anger, and frustration. Praise God that, as Christians, we are no longer in bondage to a “natural response” because we are new creations in Christ Himself (2 Corinthians 5:17). Instead, we have the Lord’s strength to respond with patience and in complete trust in the Father’s power and purpose. “To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life” (Romans 2:7).


12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. 13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.


experience and enjoy.


answered 26 Jan '12, 20:41

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger


white tiger - patience means endurance, yes i like it :)

(26 Jan '12, 23:20) blubird two

You must save this question/answer for the day when you repeat the cycle of life. Don't be surprised when that day comes.


answered 27 Jan '12, 02:29

Constantine's gravatar image


In the future, prospective parents will not be permitted to conceive or bear children unless/until they have been: a). trained in the basics of child culture and b). tested for inherited genetic malfunction... In the future, unauthorized births will be offered for qualified adoption and the offending parent(s) will be subject to censure, fines and/or sterilization.

In a civilized society, there can be no crime recognized as more morally reprehensible than child abuse, and no responsibility more vital than your political representative's actions on that behalf... In the future, those leaders in social service who ‘betray their sacred public trust‘ will be summarily impeached, and repeat offenders will be subject to severe penalties.


answered 27 Jan '12, 09:31

The%20Prophet's gravatar image

The Prophet

Are these bylaws your proclaiming or laws being pursued by government?

(27 Jan '12, 11:13) Constantine

I'm a prophet: This is the way that I feel the laws will evolve... New laws (such as this one) will be passed over the next decade (or sooner), that will surely confound and startle anyone who dosn't like the idea of contunuously improving the legal structures to foster future good will among truly good men.

(27 Jan '12, 11:24) The Prophet

"This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time," declares the LORD. "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.

(27 Jan '12, 12:51) white tiger

AMEN white tiger... His Law will prevail.

(27 Jan '12, 13:20) The Prophet

prophet, white tiger, your relative reality may work for each of you, but may it be that the god and pofessed covenant you worship still has much to learn about cosmic mind

(28 Jan '12, 18:08) fred

well fred we all have more to learn. even you the fact that you say that it work for me and the prophet but it does not for you should tell you something. learn truth about the cosmic mind.I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts.

(28 Jan '12, 19:27) white tiger

when your mind and heart agree in harmony do you feel any conflict or negativity?

(28 Jan '12, 19:30) white tiger

Fred, please tell us: what is the covenent of 'cosmic mind' that you feel we are lacking knowledge of?

(29 Jan '12, 07:14) The Prophet
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