I have always felt hated by my mother. She denies it and says that she loves me. She has helped me financially and with babysitting, but the words she says to me are like daggers. She rarely has anything nice to say to or about me, but says hurtful things almost every time we see each other. When she does say something positive, it is indirect and I can hardly tell that she is saying something nice about me, I have to dig for the compliment in there somewhere.

Obviously this is an issue I need to work on. I will do the Two Hands Touching for this.

But I am wondering, am I attracting this from her, or is this just who she is? I have had to see her less often, like she is clattering out of my life. I don't want my mom to clatter away. I also don't want to feel so hated. It makes it hard to love myself when I don't have an example of it. I have had to learn myself how to raise my son lovingly. But it is harder for myself because I already have her voice in my head telling me what's wrong with me. I will let you know how the THT works for this. I am using this "Salute the Divinity in the woman and send her love." from Florence Scovel Shinn. I change the woman to my mom.

I know I can't change other people and that it starts with me. So am I attracting this hatefullness now, or is that who she is?

(I know it's a separate question, but for discussion here: Who attracts who the parents or the baby? And at what stage of development does the baby or fetus or parents attract it's spirit? and if the parents attract the spirit, then what happens when the child grows and changes their vibration?)

asked 27 Jun '12, 09:07

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

edited 29 Jun '12, 10:08

Hi Fairy Princess.The book "The Presence Process" deals directly with these issues.Here is an article from Michael Brown about Relationships.I hope it helps you in some way:)

Relationships by Michael Brown.

As we enter present moment awareness, we perceive our immediate family as a perfect nest for our individual evolution.

During childhood we all receive an emotional baton from our parents so that we can commence our part in the human race. This is the unfolding of a sacred agreement we have with each other.

We are our parents until we unlearn and overcome the belief systems they imprinted upon us. In the same light, our children are us until we stop behaving like our parents.

It is consequence that keeps individual souls bound together in groups that we call families. We are not only related to these specific souls; all souls are equally related. Our close interaction with anyone in this life experience is predetermined by past interactions.  

Before we consciously attend to our emotional growth, we are attracted to others because they reflect our unresolved issues. The idea that “this person can make me happy” is an unconscious knowing that if we resolve the issues this particular person is reflecting, the quality of our life experience will improve.   Our success in accomplishing emotional growth always transforms our perceptions of the people close to us; we begin to see them for who and what they are, as opposed to who and what of our past they had been reflecting.  

Not everyone seeks to embrace present moment awareness. Not everyone seeks to live consciously. Those wishing to hold onto what happened yesterday, and to make fearful preparations for all the apparent terrible-ness that is to come tomorrow, feel uncomfortable in the company of those who choose to consciously awaken themselves from such drama.  

Our immediate family members are our clearest reflections. Anything and everything that we perceive to be “wrong” with them, to the point that it emotionally upsets us, are our unresolved issues. This is hard medicine to swallow, but there is no exception to this rule. When we make the mistake of attempting to clean the mirror, instead of internally processing our unpleasant reflections, we add to the outer debris of unhappiness that already permeates this planet.  

As we take the steps to restore our inner balance, we begin to see our parents, our family, and all our loved ones of the past in a new light. The veil that our unconscious beliefs cast upon them begins to lift. We then see them all as the ones who loved us enough to take on the painful roles of reflecting our own hidden pain back to us, so that we have the opportunity to see it, feel it, and integrate it. Behind their masks has always been the unconditionally loving energy of our shared Inner Presence doing everything possible to awaken us to our own radiance without robbing us of our inherent responsibility.


answered 27 Jun '12, 11:45

Satori's gravatar image


edited 28 Jun '12, 08:15


Great article and answer. There is nothing like the unconditional love of a parent for there child (even with disfunctional families like mine) that really shows that the REAL important things in the world today, is love and not money, cars or .........

(27 Jun '12, 12:10) stylin

@Fairy Princess - I agree with Satori - there is a lot in the PP book that I think would resonate with you. Michael Brown deals with these sorts of issues quite a lot - if you wanted to take a look at something on the web there are some free downloads at The Presence Portal.

(27 Jun '12, 12:18) English Rose

Seems to be a great article, very insightful. Fits with the idea that everyone in your world is merely a reflection of some level of your being. To change the reflection, you must first change your mind :)

(27 Jun '12, 21:34) Eddie

Presence Process is in my Amazon shopping cart, just haven't resonated with it yet. Maybe soon, this article does sound interresting.

(27 Jun '12, 22:41) Fairy Princess

I'll act according to my own morality here - "read first, pay if it's worth afterwards". I did so with almost every book. I bought many of books I read online first, as I considered them a helpful guide for life.

Here you have the link to The Presence Process in pdf. http://www.rockinghorsefarm.org/TPPV2.pdf

(28 Jun '12, 02:06) CalonLan

@CalonLan thanks for the link. I ordered the works of Florence Scovel Shinn after reading it online first.

(28 Jun '12, 08:20) Fairy Princess

To be honest, one of the reasons I have been hesitating is that I saw it had a ten week process. That seems like a lot of work to me. Also, besides the breathing excersise I made up, I am not really interrested in focussing on my breathing, boring. That is why I came up with THT. I wanted the quickest, easiest way. I might have to do it every day, but it's so fast and easy it hardly takes time. I can even do it with my eyes open while doing other things that don't require hands.

(28 Jun '12, 09:00) Fairy Princess

I have started reading the PDF though. I wonder where he was in Arizona? We may have been to the same sweat lodges.

(28 Jun '12, 09:01) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess-Yes when I went through the programme in TPP, I was presented with/came up with 100 reasons to not do the Breath Work.This is all resistance created by the mental body/ego to keep your mental charges safe:).All I can say is I'm glad I completed it:)

This is the thing about this process, when you try to alter it or change it to suit yourself what's really happening is your ego is resisting the process.

(28 Jun '12, 11:23) Satori

Maybe your not ready, but I think you will still benefit in some way from just reading it:)

(28 Jun '12, 11:23) Satori

@Satori, how does it compare to THT? Is it really worth all the extra work, or does THT do the same thing in the long run?

(28 Jun '12, 16:50) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess-THT has probably raised your general vibration making this issue  stick out a bit more:)

All I can say is that this process has improved every relationship I have:) There is probably a part of you wants change and a part of you is ok where you are.I would say read the book through and see what you think.There is no rush.You have attracted this process into your life for some reason:)

(28 Jun '12, 19:30) Satori

When I combine the THT with the positive affirmations it is amazing. I don't want to mix things up too much right now. However, if I do THT with affirmations for ten week or do TPP for ten week, I wonder how they would compare.

(29 Jun '12, 08:33) Fairy Princess

Also, I recently ordered Matrix Energetics http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1582702381/ref=oh_details_o01_s01_i00 I just got today, and Theta Healing http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401929281/ref=oh_details_o01_s00_i00 which I haven't received yet.

(29 Jun '12, 21:27) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess-what I have learned from Stingray is that anyone that does a vibration raising process often( in your case THT) is that your general vibration slowly gravitates towards that new higher vibration.That means that old habitual thoughts that you used to think become more painful (like this issue in your question). You end up with no choice but having to let these issues go someway.

(30 Jun '12, 04:33) Satori

@FAIRY PRINCESS-So you start attracting into your life other processes in your life that will help you integrate these limiting beliefs ie TPP indirectly.So it may seem that THT is not part of  this but it is the process that probably got the ball rolling:)

(30 Jun '12, 04:34) Satori

@Fairy Princess-As for TPP it's a bit like quitting smoking.It takes a bit of will-power to complete.Youve got to want to do it yourself.You have to get You out of the way of You and just complete the process exactly as it is without judgement. When you start wanting to change the process to suit you, its actually that part of you that wants to keep things as they are that's doing the changing.I hope this helps Fairy Princess:). Those books look interesting.Let us know what you think.Cheers:)

(30 Jun '12, 04:36) Satori

@Satori who is to say that THT isn't enough of a tool? Combined with affirmations, it has been fantastic. Have you tried it more than once or twice? Doing it daily is the best. What I am asking is for a comparison, and if you haven't done THT regularly for 10 weeks like TPP, it is hard to compare.

(30 Jun '12, 08:01) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess-Your right FP, your THT is a great process and it's benefiting yourself and a lot of other people on IQ.I use it myself:) I'm sure this issue will be resolved for you soon and underneath it all there's no doubt your mum loves you very much:)

(30 Jun '12, 16:13) Satori

"We are our parents until we unlearn and overcome the belief systems they imprinted upon us." I love this. I have been rolling it around in my head. Thank you. However, this part I would change, "In the same light, our children are us until we stop behaving like our parents." to "In the same light, our children are our parents until we stop behaving like our parents." I noticed my son has picked up some of the things my mom does to me. Now I must create myself outside of my parents.

(08 Jul '12, 09:43) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess-Good for you.I'm glad got some benefit from this FP:)

(08 Jul '12, 10:06) Satori

I can't believe I forgot this. It's just worded differently but explains the science behind it. http://www.happyhealthychild.com/PathwaysMagazine.pdf

(09 Sep '12, 10:11) Fairy Princess

@FP- Thanks for sharing, Bruce Lipton seems like a very intelligent guy:)

(09 Sep '12, 11:24) Satori
showing 2 of 24 show 22 more comments

all interactions are co-creations, nothing less or more, they can attract confrontations with u,, even when u don't argue back with them. It is all on beliefs, perception, and the way u react to the situations.

love n light,



answered 28 Jun '12, 21:35

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

An interesting view on on your question
There is no dark switch.

Whether you know it or not...


answered 29 Jun '12, 03:22

ursixx's gravatar image


@Ursixx I can't access this video - please could you put the address in as I'd like to see it - it maybe my computer as I sometimes can't access videos!

(30 Jun '12, 04:49) Catherine

Ptttht I just tried to post the thing and mine didn't work! If you Google "Abraham-Hicks do we choose our parents" you'll find it, @Catherine. :)

(01 Jul '12, 14:55) Grace

Thanks, @Ursixx for the great link! That clip is good for any of us, at any point in the road. Ahhh feels like a fresh breeze just blew through my house! :)

(01 Jul '12, 15:09) Grace
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

I can relate... When I was growing up, I could never please my mother. I was constantly bombarded with criticisms and comments, such as , "Why aren't you smiling? Why don't you smile more???"

I can tell you this; it may seem unbelievable to most people, but I know now that I left Heaven too soon. I distinctly remember standing around a vortex, with all my loved ones, saying goodbye. (I have written of this before.See this question for a complete re-telling of this story.)

I say I left too soon because I know I wanted to get back to life so badly that the powers-that-were let me go to show me what an ill-choice it is to be impatient. I have learned much from the experience...

Anyway, I believe that I was placed with the wrong family altogether. I am not like any of them, except maybe my father, who is now gone. He was truly the Light of my Life until his death in 2006. After his death, life has been very hard and I miss him terribly. It has left me at the mercy of the rest of my family- most of whom have outright rejected me.

I do not know if I "chose" my parents. I do not believe so. I think that choice is up to God. But if I was you, I would not accept such treatment from your Mom as being valid to you. Reject her comments. "Hate the sin, but love the sinner." Her negative energy does you no service.


Jai <3


answered 30 Jun '12, 02:03

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 30 Jun '12, 02:03

Thank you Jai. I have had to not see her as much.

(30 Jun '12, 08:05) Fairy Princess

You are welcome- I have had to do this with my family...Peace...

(30 Jun '12, 20:15) Jaianniah

it looks like you attract
and have an affinity
for each other or/and
past karmic reciprocation

can you be yourself
and let her be she
each developing self
yet understanding other


answered 28 Jun '12, 18:20

fred's gravatar image



If I can be criticized without feeling hurt, then I can igonre the rude comments and be myself.

(28 Jun '12, 19:03) Fairy Princess
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