Sometimes on this spiritual journey I feel I am making great progress and then wham! - something happens or a challenge presents itself and some old recurring thought pattern ( that I thought I had let go off) arises. As a result I become my own worst enemy - by beating up on myself for not having mastered the current lesson by now. Deep down I Know I am making progress but would be grateful to hear that this is a 'normal' part of the growth progress. At times I think I set the bar too high for myself and then don't live up to my own expectations.

asked 24 Mar '10, 18:57

Michaela's gravatar image


I asked a similar question more than a year ago and got some pretty good answers...

(12 May '11, 21:55) Michaela


(12 May '11, 22:11) you

become one that have drop the burden's. experience and enjoy.

(24 Oct '11, 05:28) white tiger
showing 1 of 3 show 2 more comments

As I understand your question, your life has been going well, by your standards, and then something has happened which has caused you to launch a new desire.

And now you are angry with yourself for having a new desire?

Seems like you are going to be angry many times during your life then, Michaela :)

I know you have followed Abraham so let's talk in those terms...

There is never, ever, ever, ever, ever...[an infinite number of times]...anything wrong with having a Step 1 moment :)

How else do you get a Step 3 moment (allowing what you want) without having a Step 1 moment first (having a clear desire for what you want)?

Learn to appreciate those moments where you feel you have failed at something. Because within every failure lies the springboard to the next plateau of joy (if you go with it)...your vibrational escrow (or vortex) expands as a result of the failure.

Finally, I've noticed also that there is a part of me that just loves to get me into situations where I fail at something. Abraham first pointed that out to me when I went to have a chat with them. They said that I'm teaching myself to feel good under any and all conditions. And I have certainly changed over the years from what I used to be...I think it sometimes shocks the people around me how nonchalant I can be in situations that others would classify as extreme.

Abraham, in their early days, used to say that, for many people, their day is ruined if the newspaper delivery boy leaves the paper on the porch instead of pushing it through the how would they ever cope with anything on the scale of earth changes? :)

I guess I've grown somewhat past the improper newspaper delivery stage now. :) Something similar might be happening to you too - just a thought.


answered 25 Mar '10, 15:11

Stingray's gravatar image


Thanks for your reply Stingray - as I said, I Know that I am making progress and sometimes I think I'm just trying to 'Get It' all too fast and I need to just lighten up and give myself a break. Things that used to bug the sh-- out of me don't as much anymore, and if I'm honest I think I may be trying to move mountains a little too fast - "Rome wasn't built in a day" :-)

(25 Mar '10, 19:58) Michaela

Thanks Michaela. Just as a point of clarification, I don't wish to imply you are a failure! :) ...I'm just using the word in the broader sense as in when we don't reach a state (temporarily) that we are aspiring towards.

(25 Mar '10, 22:24) Stingray

Got it Stingray - never ,for a second, thought you were implying that :)

(10 Jan '11, 18:40) Michaela

Ive noticed the newspaper thingy too, things just dont bother me as much as they used to. In fact sometimes im actually surprised that they dont.

(13 May '11, 09:38) Monty Riviera
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

This answer was really intended to be my answer to the question “If our expectations are too high for Ourselves, can this be a source of unhappiness?” Asked by Back2Basics

It was typed up before Barry’s edit and may seem slightly out of sync with Michaela’s question. However it does apply to Michaela's first question, so I have left it without re-editing my answer.

If you are capable of describing your own expectations as "too high" then you already have an understanding of the intensity of energetic difference or the energetic gap between your current position of attraction and this other expectation that is too far away from it.

It is a bit like you starting a journey of a thousand miles and while you are on the first step you are asking "why can't I make the thousandth mile my next step?"

You know that this is what you are really asking because in your consciousness you can see the gap between your current position and the thousandth mile; this is why you are able to even describe it as being "too high"

But it is not even a simple gap.

It is a rather complex gap where the end result is not even guaranteed.

It is more like you starting a game of chess and right at the start you start to ask "why can't I be the winner of this game?" not accepting the fact that the game of chess has a complex sequence of events that may or may not result in your win.

The art of attraction is just as complex when looked at within this context of the bigger picture.

But attraction does not have to be that complex.

Attraction is better understood when described as reflection.

Your experience is a consciousness experience with a physical counterpart, more than a physical experience with a consciousness counterpart.

If you begin to see that reality is primarily a mind experience that is fed back to you through your five senses as real, you will realize that you do, in fact, attract a physical counterpart to whatever you envision in your mind.

And then if you are not happy with the physical feedback that you received initially you can re-focus your mind experience with greater intensity and greater clarity until you get closer and closer to the version of physical feedback that you are satisfied with.

I know this explanation sounds very clinical and not very "love, light, God...etc." but it's the only way to keep it down to earth and not make the whole "attraction" phenomenon as something more than what it is.

Attraction within the moment of "now" is the reflection of your consciousness as perceived through your five senses.

Reflection is the dominant phenomenon here and not the attraction of your eventual destination.

What is "Now" always takes dominance within the bigger picture of any "Attraction"

So if you have a BIG goal that you are attracting and you are always attracting within "Now" you have to put a larger part of your attention on the smaller steps within the "Now" because the rules of the game of attraction are such that you can't suddenly leap ahead to the end of your journey.

You keep the bigger goal within the mind by understanding why you are taking the smaller steps.

But in that journey if you label the destination as "expectations that are too high" you have already energetically imprinted the act of missing your target as the most likely possibility.

And while you keep seeing the bigger goal as being "too high" you will automatically adjust your smaller steps within "Now" in a manner to guarantee the failure (too high) of the bigger goal.

When you compare yourself by the measure of other's accomplishments the comparison can seem "too high"

But if the past "You" is your comparison against your current "You" and the future "You" of your dreams is your source of inspiration for your current "You", you will automatically harness the power of "Attraction" staying within the boundaries of how "Attraction" actually works from within the perspective of the individual point of reference.

And if you get this you will also get what Burt Goldman is talking about. (Quantum Jumping)


answered 13 May '11, 05:07

The%20Traveller's gravatar image

The Traveller

edited 14 May '11, 07:30

Mr. Traveler, part of the reason I stay in this great online community is to read your words. For the past couple months it seems as if I have not. How refreshing to read what I just read. Thank you. I am a mirror

(13 May '11, 05:12) you

Thank you for your kind words Michael. Part of the reason I stayed away from this site for a while is because I don't want to take this stuff too seriously. I'm afraid to try and live up to your description of me, because I know that I'm no different from any of you.

(13 May '11, 05:33) The Traveller

HA! I know and that makes it more refreshing.

(13 May '11, 06:45) you

As always Traveller, I love your insights. I guess this question resurfaced for a reason... timing is perfect :)

(13 May '11, 11:33) Michaela

Thanks Michaela. You’re right about timing. When I read Back2Basic's question it triggered the desire to answer and the basic "spark" in the answer was "well the self (individual) sets the limits within a limitless source of the self {all that is (the self)} in a purposeful way to maintain a reference point and a direction of expansion. So "Too High" is a way to say "here is where I am" & this is my desire of expansion, however this description has the intertwined meaning "but I can't get there as who I am right now". Except we don't know that it is true; but the moment we say it, it is true.

(13 May '11, 14:04) The Traveller
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

It can be frustrating sometimes to hear things about spiritual growth that lead you to believe that you are doing it the hard way. Things like, "Perhaps if you just let go, then it will become easier."

Part of what I know about this process is that there needs to be a way to "connect" with the knowledge that you need to achieve a certain result. And once you have connected, you need the ability to "retain" or "recall" that knowledge for future use, which is why exercises are necessary. It is the only way that you can achieve a level of progress, and then have the ability to reliably return to that level.

This is true for any endeavor. It is the reason that you learn addition and subtraction before you learn algebra, and you learn algebra before you learn calculus. Perhaps there are some out there who can jump straight to calculus and intutively understand it straight out of the gate, but most of us must climb the first step before we can proceed to the next one.

So for most people there is a process that must occur. Oddly, for me that process seems to require a certain level of discontent; i.e. if I am happy where I am, then why would I change anything? I also require a certain degree of proof; the faith thing is difficult for me, and yet many things in spirituality seem to require that conceptual leap.

Presumably, if you can make that leap of faith enough times that the results become part of your "normal" experience, then solid belief occurs and results come more reliably.


answered 24 Mar '10, 21:33

Vesuvius's gravatar image


It definitely is frustrating at times - almost like one step forward,two steps back - although as I said I Know I am making progress so it's probably more like two steps forward, one step back. I guess we do need the discontent to push us to change and I'm totally with you on the faith thing, although I wonder is that an unwillingness to trust completely or a need to hold on to some measure of control? Possibly a combination of both - it cetainly does help, for some reason, to know that someone else feels the same way at times.

(24 Mar '10, 21:47) Michaela

although I wonder is that an unwillingness to trust completely or a need to hold on to some measure of control? -- Yes.

(24 Mar '10, 22:08) Vesuvius

I agree with both of you in regards to the need to practice in order to maintain a level of consciousness and also the discontent that helps to push us forward. What happens to me is that sometimes I am just not aware that I am drifting away from my spiritual truth and its not until I realize that I am not feeling good that I go back and seek it out again. And this seems to be an ongoing cycle. Its so hard to maintain the knowingness and the joy all the time with so much distractions in the world.

(25 Mar '10, 15:46) Drham

Vesuvius can you explain what you mean by "exercises" and give an example?

(25 Mar '10, 15:49) Drham

Exercises are anything that helps us hold on to the knowledge that allows us to maintain a level of proficiency. In spiritual matters, meditation is an exercise, and Abraham-Hicks has several such exercises for raising your vibrational level. In math, it is solving math problems. In music, it is practicing your scales. And so on.

(25 Mar '10, 16:12) Vesuvius

It is worth noting that, as you achieve proficiency and move to the next level in your learning, you are often required to abandon previous learning so that you can practice new techniques that are more effective. In other words, you have to abandon the previous step on the staircase in order to climb the next one.

(25 Mar '10, 16:15) Vesuvius

@Drham - I have found that when I begin to drift away that the length of time it takes to refocus has shortened considerably since I began a daily meditation practice. I attribute this to my growing self awareness, gained from meditating, and when I veer off course or don't feel so good I become aware of the fact fairly quickly and do something to get back on course. I cannot reiterate enough how helpful a daily practice, like meditation, is on this journey.

(25 Mar '10, 20:08) Michaela
showing 2 of 7 show 5 more comments

Michaela, speaking for my own experience as a man, this problem of ego: self-pride, seems to me to be very closen akin to the so-called: "fatal flaw" in everything we try to do in this world... Why, if it weren't for male ego, I think, the world would be MUCH less problematic and painful for everyone.

But, according to my wife's experience, ambitious and strong women seem to suffer the problem too -- especially if they chanced to grow up in a family that was generally abusive, or hadn't yet reconciled itself to the refinments and equalities of modern life.

But even so, as you have stated, I beleive that HIGH EXPECTATIONS is probably the real culprit... If we expect too much of ourselves, too fast, we're going to run smack into our greatest weakness -- BEING HUMAN... Not to mention being IMPERFECT humans... How low do we have to sink now, in our future estimation of ourselves, given those truths?

All the way I suppose... All the way back through sincerity and humility to contrition.

Why...? Because of the realities of living...! Because this ego-centric human-animal does not like to change... Thus our loyalties will not be exercised on behalf of the great, the good, the true and the noble without a fight.

Like it or not, God bless us -- that's who we are.


answered 10 Jan '11, 13:19

The%20Prophet's gravatar image

The Prophet

But isn't 'awareness' wonderful? How blessed are we to be one of the fortunate ones who get to become conscious of the egos ploys and no longer buy inot it? No easy task but definitely one that is well worth the effort :)

(10 Jan '11, 18:38) Michaela

Michaela, I wholehearted agree with you!

(10 Jan '11, 20:03) The Prophet

If this were me, my point of interest would be the beating up on myself; the emotions that arises. Self hatred, self punishment is a really deep emotion that goes back lifetimes. I find really supportive when it comes to healing our emotions -here is some copy fromthe 'its about you' chapter;

Jeshua channeled by Pamela Kribbe

September 20 -2007, Tilburg

Dear friends, ....I come here before you as the expression of the Christ energy: your oversoul, the energy that binds you, that is your source and origin. It is a field of energy that is now moving closer and closer to earth, touching the hearts of many people and affecting their emotions.

This wave of Light brings much confusion to people who are not ready for change. They feel insecure, they experience a lack of meaning in their lives, and they do not know how to deal with these confused emotions. And you are the ones on earth who are here to radiate Light to these people. You are the pioneers, you are the teachers of this New Age. Now you may ask yourselves: am I ready to do that? How should I go about? How do I radiate or express my Light? The answer is simpler than you think: you are already doing it. You are doing what you came to do.

One of the reasons why you have so many doubts about yourself is that you fear to face up to your own grandness. In your everyday life, you still harbour a lot of negative thoughts and emotions about yourself which make you wonder: ”Can I really be anchored and rooted in this place called earth, am I really at home here? Do I truly fulfill my mission here?” And I am telling you: especially when you are challenged by fear, despair or gloominess, you are able to fulfil your mission. Because right there is where your Light is needed the most. No one is better equipped to heal the pain inside of you than you are. In lighting up your own inner darkness, with love and compassion, you are setting up an example of lightwork that radiates outward to others and encourages them to light up themselves.

You are old and come from afar. You are nearing the completion of a cycle of lifetimes. And now, at the end of this cycle, your energy has become gentle, full of compassion and wisdom. But you have also become discouraged, and you get depressed now and then, when you look at the state of mother earth, this beautiful creation of plant, animal, and human kingdoms, which could be so full of life and vitality. Also, when you observe your relationships to others, you often feel that something is lacking. You miss a certain openness, love, gaiety, connectedness. You are homesick for a reality in which you can share this with others. This pains you. You have pain about the world. You have pain about the people near to you. You have pain about yourself. You sense homesickness and a deep love within that you find hard to express and embody here on earth.

But I say to you that you are on the threshold of a New Era. Have faith, I am here with you to support and encourage you. However you are the ones who cross the barrier, you are the ones who carry on my work. You are the Christs of the New Era. Especially when you feel down and tired, losing all confidence, please open up to this new possibility, the light that is dawning, and surrender to it. Do not try to fight or struggle with your fears and gloominess. They are there – let me take care of it. Feel my energy here and now, I am with you.

I am you, we are one. Allow the light and comfort of the Christ energy to be with you and feel how we are all connected by this powerful carrier of Light. You are the Christ of the New Era.

Now I would like to ask you to direct your attention to the hurt part of you, the inner child which has felt beaten and humiliated throughout many lifetimes on earth. You have gone through a lot, both in this lifetime and in past ones. It is this dear child within you, physically located in your belly, that needs care and attention. Especially, it needs patience and trust from you. This child, this emotional part of you, does not heal at once. It has been wounded deeply, and from this hurt it creates negative emotions in your life, such as loneliness, fear, feeling abandoned or rejected. These emotions point at your deepest wound. It is not even death that you fear most. It is the sense of total disconnection from God that constitutes the deepest agony. Feeling separated from the loving presence of Spirit, cut off from the natural light and connectedness of Creation, has created the heaviest burden inside of you. I am asking you to see that pain inside of you and to reach out your hands to the hurt child inside.

Just imagine that you are an angel, a representative of the realms of Light, and feel how your angel energy envelops your body with a soft and warm cloak. It is a golden energy that cherishes you and you can feel how it circles around you, from head to toe. Notice how hands of gold reach out to your belly, to the small and innocent child within. Tell the child it is welcome and precious beyond words.

Say “hello” to that old pain of yours and allow it to be there. “You can be a part of my life, I am not letting you down”. This is the compassion that you long for, this is what makes you whole, let it be. Standing by your own wounded self, not letting the child within suffer all by itself, is the energy that makes you a Christ. In your everyday life, any time you resist your own pain, wishing you could get rid of your fear and anger all at once, cursing yourself for it, you are letting the child inside you down. By resisting your pain, and judging the behaviour coming from it, you alienate the child from you. You say “I do not want to be sad or angry or afraid anymore, I just want to be happy, why can’t I get over it, I hate myself.” But the child within is crying and calling out for you, and it will not be healed by your resistance or condemnation.

Take the time to heal yourself. When you feel resistance, stop right there and sit down. Do not turn away, let the resistance go, for the child’s sake. Be present with your wounded child, allow the golden energy of your angel self to embrace it. Do not be afraid to be so grand! Take as much time and space as your need to heal yourself. Do not belittle your needs and the depth of your pain. Take it seriously. This healing process is the very reason you chose this lifetime on earth. The inner transformation you are going through is precisely what you aimed to accomplish, what you are called to do, and what earth is waiting for.

Have compassion with your pain. Face the desolation deep within and tell that part of you “I am there for you, I AM the angel who brings Light, I will bring you to the promised land. Have no fear, for I stand beside you, I stand behind you, I am before you and I am inside you. I do not come from above, I do not come from below, I come from your soul. I am the essence of You.”

You are becoming angels in the flesh. You are angels incarnated in physical matter. You have much to give and share with people, but do not let that distract you. You are the number one in your life, and you always need to be connected to that inner child part of you. As soon as you notice that your emotions become unruly, that you feel uneasy, tense, anxious or annoyed, face up to it immediately. This is more important than any other thing you need to do in your life. Even other people are second place. Your life is about you. You can only channel your angel light into your human existence, if you are also willing to reach out to the darkest part of you.

Take time and space for self healing. Do anything that helps or comforts you, whether it is spiritual counseling, reading books, taking a walk or preparing yourself a fine meal. Nurture yourself both on the spiritual and on the human level. Stay focused and take your time. This is how self healing occurs. This is how you embody your angel light and do what you came to do in this lifetime. It is about you!

We salute you. We are here in great numbers, much greater than you think! There are angels and guides surrounding each one of you. They want to help you find your way in life. There is a lot of support for you from the cosmos, much respect and encouragement. You are the ones who are doing it here on earth, this we cannot do for you. But we will do anything we can to send you joy and consolation. This is truly an age of transformation. Please call upon us, we are there for you. We are crossing that threshold together and it looks like it is going to be a Great (New) Time!


answered 24 Oct '11, 01:06

sharon2's gravatar image


Thanks for taking so much time with your answer sharon :)

(25 Oct '11, 01:56) Michaela

Hi M I hope you got what you were looking for from amongst our different perspectives and that you got to the crux of your issue. PS The largest part didn't take long to copy and paste :-D. I refer to quite often, I have it open all the time. I can never have too much of that exquisite compassion!

(25 Oct '11, 02:22) sharon2

I can totally relate to what you are saying Michaela. Sometimes I feel on top of the world. I feel that I have mastered this spiritual stuff and i can achieve anything. At other times I feel totally lost and dont even know how I got there. However I remind myself that while I have high expectations and great dreams, I am not perfect but I will continue to strive for perfection.

I believe that you know your limitations and that you would not set goals for yourself that are not achievable. Some great person once said that "what the mind can perceive, can be achieved" (not an exact quote). You are on the right track. Trust yourself.


answered 24 Mar '10, 20:55

Drham's gravatar image


Thanks for your answer Drham. I think, too, we probably need to remember that we are human as well as spiritual and I guess, ultimately, we have to learn to integrate the two.

(24 Mar '10, 21:49) Michaela

Michaela, one thing that I know for sure is that once you have achieved a certain level of spiritual consciousness you cannot go backward only forward. And we will attract the experiences that we need to move forward and usually it does not feel good because we are moving out of our comfort zone. Also the bad feeling forces us to go deep within and puts us back into contact with the universal consciousness.

(25 Mar '10, 15:58) Drham

I'd say first learn your limitations and talents. Set your expectations accordingly :)


answered 12 May '11, 22:12

you's gravatar image


Talents yes... but limitations? I thought we were limitless beings... if we set our expectations according to what we 'believe' our limitations are, we just might set the bar too low :)

(13 May '11, 01:18) Michaela

Dang it!I knew someone would say that and I am ready ha ha. We all have some limitations. Let's say I want to fight for my country and join the army, I can't I am too old. Limitation. I am so un-atheltic and paid money to have golf lessons. I am uncoordinated. Limitation. I have a better chance of becoming president than I do at wining The Masters. What we should do is exploit our talents. If I am given the gift of a great voice and not a gift of mathematics I should not pursue accounting but pursue American Idol. To have an expectation that I can get a starting quarterback job with the 49ers

(13 May '11, 03:00) you

is silly. I am too old.

(13 May '11, 03:01) you

and I have had back surgery. Physical, Social and legal limitations do exist.

(13 May '11, 03:09) you

So I just posted a question and my original question was "Define Success" I expected it to post. It did not. Why? My question was too short. I was disappointed :(. I was limited to a question of a certain amount of characters. Had I known about this limitation, I would have asked with the right amount of characters and would not have been disappointed :)

(13 May '11, 05:06) you

Ok the joining the army is not really because of a limitation but rather a man-made rule. You've told yourself that you are unathletic and uncoordinated so that is what you experience based on your beliefs? Yes I do realize that some come forth with physical limitations that undoubtedly have to play a part in their experience and we all do have natural talents that we're born with which obviously must play some role in our experience although I still haven't figured out why I have such a gift for numbers when I've never had any desire to pursue it as a career. I guess I just don't like that

(13 May '11, 14:06) Michaela

word limitation. I think it's part of what's held too many people back for too long :)

(13 May '11, 14:08) Michaela

Ok, now I think I should have said "know your talents and understand your desires" I know those words are very different but here is why. I do believe you can do anything you want if it falls within the realms of possibilities. This then leaves your choices of what is it you want to do (that you have the ability to do)? Desire precedes expectations. You cannot expect something if you truly do not desire it. Once you vibrationally align with something, the expectation is immediately met :)

(13 May '11, 17:46) you

You know I'm only pushing you :)

(14 May '11, 09:50) Michaela

Yes and I love it :)

(14 May '11, 16:33) you
showing 2 of 10 show 8 more comments

one may also want to look at where the expectations are comning from and then what they are supporting.
we are here to evolve/grow into the full potential of being human,
though few seem to know what that entails


answered 13 May '11, 00:53

fred's gravatar image


to set high goals and to sometimes fail at first planned attainment is a lesson,
though frought with some suffering, a change in the momentum of your energy.
should each change in momentum be for finner or grosser understanding.
we have much to learn to become our destined potential.
or what do you believe is too high?


answered 14 May '11, 01:51

fred's gravatar image


We do have much to learn Fred and my belief will 'always' determine what is too high. Thanks for your answer :)

(16 May '11, 01:14) Michaela

michaela, soaring in the heights, but not foolishly as Icarus choose, quickens learning. we learn what we know and what needs to be tried. i was not able to walk on my first desire to do so.

(16 May '11, 23:54) fred
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