I thought with Grace's question on How do we simply love ourselves? to be inspired to the question How can we feel respectable while going through hard times?

First I want to state honesty, honor and keeping my word are a top priority with me.

I just tried using a credit card for my Karate business that I was sure was good and it was declined. I have been listening to Mp3s on reprogramming our brains to expect abundance and feeling better but when something like this comes in my face it throws out all that reprogramming!

Saying declined is like saying....

We don't trust you.

You are not to be trusted.

You have no honor.

We wouldn't loan you a red cent!

Get out of here you bum! Unless you have come to pay us!

You are not worthy of credit.

You can't take care of your self.

You are crooked.

You don't pay what you owe.

Pay up or get out of here.

Don't come looking for help from us.

You don't deserve credit.

You are not respectable.

You are a liar and cheat.

You broke your word.

You are unworthy of respect.

All of this stuff plays over and over in your head because you can't afford to pay up what you Borrowed and were expected to Pay back! So how can you still respect yourself when you are going through hard times? When you are trying to change things but feel like what is the use you feel overwhelmed. I want to get all of my credit paid off, I once had one of the highest credit ratings it was like 794 it was way up there! Well that was then this is now.

asked 16 Jul '12, 17:54

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 18 Jul '12, 22:41


@Wade- Why do you require a male perspective on things? You seem pretty distressed when you wrote this, and since I've actually experienced debt before as well, my pat on the back for you is to look for answers when you feel good, and don't limit yourself to IQ. I feel slightly out of my place mentioning to a senior that there's already more than enough information on IQ to give you relief to a temporary problem.

(16 Jul '12, 21:51) Nikulas

@Nikulas well it is that my word and honor mean a lot to me. When I sign something that says I'll make payments I mean that. When I fall on hard times I still mean to make my payments. When I can't I have a big clash now that says "You broke your word so how can you respect yourself where is your honor now?" Even as a Christian my word is suppose to be golden I say I'll do something I do it, no excuses.

(16 Jul '12, 22:26) Wade Casaldi

There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit. And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear,

(17 Jul '12, 00:21) white tiger

but with righteousness he shall judge the poor, and decide with equity for the meek of the earth; and he shall strike the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall kill the wicked. Righteousness shall be the belt of his waist, and faithfulness the belt of his loins.

(17 Jul '12, 00:21) white tiger

wade did you speak the truth? make every effort to stay in the truth. the truth will set you free."Judge not, that you be not judged"anny one that judge someone falsely that is telling him the truth is all ready judge.

(17 Jul '12, 00:39) white tiger

@white tiger when you are out of work and can't afford to pay debts that you signed that you would pay monthly you lose your honor. You lose your honor because you are forced to break your word which means your word is no good. How can you feel good about yourself if you can't pay something you said you would?

(18 Jul '12, 01:31) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi, recognize it's not you, but the situation. It's like swimming in the ocean and being chased by a shark and you should feel bad about yourself that your promised to bring a seashell to your friend on the shore, but the heck you can't dive right now because the shark would catch and kill you. Why would you feel bad about yourself? There's you and there's life. I never feel bad about myself if life punches me hard. If that person on the shore can't understand I couldn't bring the...

(18 Jul '12, 02:06) CalonLan

...seashell and had to save my life instead. What am I really to say to them other than - whatever? I can't feel bad about myself I just battled it out between life and death. It's about recognizing value and weight of the situation.

(18 Jul '12, 02:08) CalonLan

@CalonLan This is an excellent answer! It is too bad it is just a comment but I hadn't thought of it that way. I was thinking if you sign for a credit card that says you will make payments every month you had better find a way to make payment because you gave your word. Sort of like your answer saying my honor is worth more than my life but had I jumped in to battle the shark to get the sea shells I wouldn't have brought one back anyway I'd been dead! Good point! :-)

(18 Jul '12, 10:03) Wade Casaldi

@CalonLan Yes it is a them or me situation do I give them the money or do I eat, but you are right as I preserve myself I can fix it in the future but if I don't eat to pay them I get sick and die then they never get their money. I see your point. It is a tough choice honor or surviving but I see because it is a forced situation of circumstance I should look at it as delay instead or refusal on my part. I am feeling better with this view, my word is very important but I have value my life also.

(18 Jul '12, 10:13) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi, indeed, words are just words. Written or spoken, but life is life. One's words exist only within one's life. Life comes always prior to anything else. If there's no life, there's nothing else really. ;-) glad to offer my perspective, and happy to see it helps a bit.

(18 Jul '12, 10:18) CalonLan

wade if you would have know the beguinning you would have know the end.(did you make every effort to stay in the truth? then why are your action are not making it to match your words? can you tell the truth about that? in truth is it your fault or someone else or both?) if you make every effort to stay in the truth and those event are out of your control then you can find the problem and fix it so it does not happen again. to let the darkness affect you does not help you at all.

(18 Jul '12, 12:51) white tiger

wade be the light that you can be. if you need work find one. if you tell someone that you will pay them and give them your words pay them back if you have difficulty better to tell them that you will be late but make sure to pay them as soon as possible before the time that it is appointed. if you give your words or make a promesse be sure to be able to keep it what ever happends. then you will not be in this situation.

(18 Jul '12, 13:02) white tiger

i am not judging you just telling you the truth about the matter at hands. and i know it is not always easy in this world. make every effort and stay in truth no one can ask anny more of you. who is with out sin to cast that stone?

(18 Jul '12, 13:03) white tiger

@white tiger yes honesty and honor are top priority with me.

(18 Jul '12, 17:51) Wade Casaldi

then you are on the right path keep up the good works. and be the light that you can be. there is light in a person of light and it shines on the whole world if not it is dark.

(18 Jul '12, 22:15) white tiger
showing 0 of 16 show 16 more comments

That sounds like a lot of limiting beliefs to me. I suggest you do the Two Hands Touching with some statements from this liston my experiment page. For example do THT then say, "I have a wonderful work, in a wonderful way, I give wonderful service, for wonderful pay!" then do THT again. Do this every day for the same affirmations until you feel good about them, then do different ones. Do THT any time throughout the day if you feel stress, anxious, fear, anything you don't like. If you do this, it will turn things around. :)

Honor is an illusion. The only thing we have is Now. Also remember, there is enough for everyone, we only have to believe it.

We create what I will call avatars that we create and use to interact with eachother. We create these avatars with our beliefs of who we think we are and who we think other people think we are. We have different avatars that interract with the avatars we create of other people based on our beliefs about who we think they are and how we think they think of us. Judgement is huge in creating these avatars. These avatars are not us, nor the other people.

The less we judge ourselves and others, the less avatars we use to interract. Enlightenment would be the ability to see ourselves and others as divine rays of light, absent of any avatars.

Honor is simply a trait that we give to our avatar, it is part of the illusion.


answered 18 Jul '12, 10:14

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

edited 18 Jul '12, 10:38

Thanks so much Fairy Princess, I was more thinking honor at any cost I must keep my word. But CalonLan pointed out to me if I promised a friend a sea shell and there was a shark swimming would I jump in the water to battle the shark to get the sea shell because I promised? If I jumped in the save my honor I would be killed and my friend would not get the sea shell anyway. That is similar to my credit card debt and unemployment right now. If I save myself I can fix my credit in the future.

(18 Jul '12, 10:24) Wade Casaldi

I need to come up with an affirmation about honor and keeping my word. But fixing and paying off in the future is honorable and that is my intention to eventually be fully paid off clear. Maybe right now I can't but that doesn't make me a liar and crook because my real intention is still paying them off eventually. I should not feel that way because I have done everything I could to keep my word and still will when I can. I am feeling more positive already. :-)

(18 Jul '12, 10:31) Wade Casaldi

Yes, you must change your focus. You magnify what you focus on. If you focus on debt, you magnify the debt. You must step out of the problem to find the solution.

(18 Jul '12, 10:40) Fairy Princess

How about this maybe? "I have honor and am respectable, even though circumstance may temporarily prevent me keeping my word, I do eventually fulfill my word." or "My word is golden even if temporarily I am prevented from keeping it."

(18 Jul '12, 10:42) Wade Casaldi

How about, "God is my banker," or "God is my landlord,"

(18 Jul '12, 10:45) Fairy Princess

Or, "I trust myself," or "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

(18 Jul '12, 10:46) Fairy Princess

There is help for credit card debt specifically.

(18 Jul '12, 10:54) Fairy Princess

Yes I like those very much. :-)

(18 Jul '12, 10:56) Wade Casaldi

I want to point out that the inclusion of, "Even though circumstance may temporarily prevent me keeping my word," is negative and keeps you trapped. Keep it all positive. Keep it positive NOW. Not in the future.

(18 Jul '12, 11:26) Fairy Princess

Interesting on the avatars concept, also interesting on the expectation of self and others and judging self and thinking others are judging based on expectation placed on others of what we believe they expect from us. In other words all self created even when we believe they must think I am a cheat because they expect me to pay and they are right I should pay no mater what. I need to meditate on these observations but they seem very freeing I can say. :-)

(19 Jul '12, 00:35) Wade Casaldi
showing 2 of 10 show 8 more comments

Wade, you already know what I think, but I will write it here for all to read:

You are NOT your finances.

I am sorry that you (we) are having tough times, but I think that you are showing that you really have always defined yourself mainly by your "pot of gold" and little else. Perhaps this is a time for you to really dig in, and find out who you are- You are much, much more than a bank balance!

All those negative statements you listed are so untrue about you, but you feel them, so I will honor your feelings. But really think it is time for you to tear up all your "Get-Rich-Quick" books and dig in and find out who you are besides your bills, or lack thereof.

You are loving.

You are kind and generous to a fault.

You are a worthy human being.

You are a respected Karate Sensei.

You are an expert at al the old-time manifesting people like Shinn and others- I envy you for your knowledge.

You are handsome and sexy.

You are deeply loved by your parents- something I do not enjoy.

You have a nice person to share your troubles with and who loves you very much. There are people here who would much rather have your bills just to have someone to hug and kiss.

Why can't you see how blessed you are?

Get off the pity pot. You are getting a ring around your butt.

♥♥♥♥ Your Jai


answered 16 Jul '12, 18:34

Jaianniah's gravatar image


You are doing much better! I am proud of you! You are learning to bear it...which is part of "being human"...I love you. BTW, I checked. The ring is gone!!! ♥♥♥ Jai

(18 Jul '12, 01:45) Jaianniah
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