It has been many years since I watched the movie Flatliners. I have just watched it again because I actually forgot the entire movie. There is a great message about life in this movie that we have the power to heal ourselves and others while we are alive or face them after death.

Dannion Brinkly's Saved By The Light reveals a similar message.

Both these movies show the things we caused others to experience or feel we will experience or feel every pain that they felt we will experience it ourselves after death. Perhaps unless we take responsibility and heal those now while we are alive by sending love to those to release them.

There is a beautiful moment in Flatliners where Kevin Baccon searches and finds a grown up Winny and he says to her he used to pick on her in school. She looks back at him in hurt and anger and says "That is over, I am not that ugly little girl anymore!" He looks at her and says "I was wrong, and you were never an ugly little girl, I am sorry." He goes to walk away and she stops him and says, "thank you." You could see the relief in her face that someone actually said "I am sorry for that" and maybe she was wrong all those years to believe she was an ugly little girl growing up. It was a healing moment that meant something to her.

The message that everything we do in life matters and counts it has an effect even a chain reaction effect similar to the movie The Butterfly Effect.

Every word said, every harm done whether done deliberately or inadvertently has a lasting effect on ourselves and others. It is our job to learn from these and correct the wrongs. To forgive as we would like to be forgiven. But as well to realize that the pains we carry around for life about ourselves because of what someone said about or to us are the same pains others feel because of something we said or did to them. I know this seems a hard pill to swallow that others may to this day be in a depression because "No one liked me in 4th grade" and you were one of those kids that didn't like him/her but this is fact. We have hurt others through life and it could have had a lasting effect that has been damaging how they feel about their worth and life.

But here is the good news, we know we can heal our inner child of our past harms but don't think about the self here think of the others you have known and affected for the negative. Can't we help them, can we heal them? I believe that we can heal them and not only can we heal them in turn as we heal them we heal ourselves. We take responsibility for our past but as well the past of all those we had affected in any way and heal them.

I believe as it says in the Bible we are our brother's keeper and we are responsible for not only ourselves but as well all others we ever met. People we just didn't like, people we didn't trust, people we hated, people we put down, people we crushed their dreams because we believed they couldn't and influenced them to change their minds. We affect each other every single day, every moment. We should be a good affect at all times. We should be encouraging but for those we discouraged they are walking around hurting because of us.

I believe it is as we are alive we have the opportunity to heal all of these people. We can send love, compassion, forgiveness, healing and comfort. We can removed that weight they have been carrying around for maybe years because of us. Think of this would you want someone to hate themselves for life because of something you said as a child?

I believe we need to take responsibility for all we have affected and send them our love, forgiveness, and apology. Hold them in the light of healing, let them know they do not need to carry this anymore that is not who they are, that they are expressions of love and beauty. Hold them in peace and pray for them that their lives are blessed.

To see in our minds those even those we have long forgotten maybe see them as shadow figures and hold them in love and tell them in our minds but more importantly in our hearts. I Am Sorry, I Love You, I Forgive You, Please Forgive Me, Thank You... Lift them up in prayer that any and all burdens they may carry be lifted from their backs, and that they are set free from any pains emotional, spiritual, physical and mentally.

They are healed and released, they do not need to beat themselves up anymore because they are in the arms of God, place them there in love and healing.

I believe we need to take responsibility for not only our selves as we have created but the affect we have had on others as well. Do you believe we need to take responsibility for all we affect as well?

asked 25 Jul '12, 15:17

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 27 Jul '12, 01:01


that is the second greatest commendement wade. if you sin repent and sin no more. and yes you have free will and are responsible of it. be the light that you can be. experience and enjoy.

(25 Jul '12, 23:08) white tiger

When you can, appologize. But forgive yourself. And hope that they love themselves enough to forgive you. Do your best to be kind, beyond that, you are not responsible for what other people think or do. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself the past and to trust yourself to not intentionally hurt anyone. Be present. Don't stress about the past or future. The Bible says to seek first the Kingdom of heaven and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. It says not to worry about tomorrow. And it says to forgive 70x7.


answered 26 Jul '12, 16:55

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

in a way we do for all
of what it is we think
or choose sets in motion
a reciprocation

should we be aware of how
we impact creation, yes
to difficult a task, no
responsible or indolent


answered 25 Jul '12, 21:11

fred's gravatar image


Wade, I am thinking that it is not your responsibility to help anyone who may suffer because of something you may have said.

I think it also depends a lot on the intention behind what you said. Did you intend to be sassy, or cruel? Did you intend to smack someone when you were in a pissy mood, or to wound them for life?

We have to be ultimately responsible for how we feel. There's no telling what other experiences factor into another person's frame of mind - you may only be a drop in the bucket, and how they decide to deal with what is said to them just has to be up to them.

However... ;)

I can also easily envision what you are suggesting that we do to assist one another, and it sounds to me like it would be easy, fun, powerful, and very, very helpful to anyone we directed such lovely intentions toward. I would just approach it a bit differently, not as something I should do, but as something I would love to do, and so easy and fun, whyever would I not???


answered 26 Jul '12, 14:12

Grace's gravatar image


For the last paragraph yes this is more a holistic humanity view. The more we help and heal others the more we help and heal ourselves. It is looking at everyone we come in contact with as a unit like a group of cells that form an organ. The more we help and raise all, the more we all raise together. But the more we cut ourselves off and say "Every man for himself, everyone is responsible for himself." Then I see this as limiting to our expansion because we are denying that we are all one.

(26 Jul '12, 14:31) Wade Casaldi

I believe the more humanity raises and heals, The more we can do to ease the pain on humanity the more it as well affects us for the better. We all raise together or fall together, if we have the ability to make a difference I think it is our responsibility to do so. :-) Besides like you said it is easy and fun and benefits those we have hurt. It feels good to help heal those we may have once harmed, to right the wrongs. :-)

(26 Jul '12, 14:40) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi - I think you are right. "We all raise together or fall together, if we have the ability to make a difference I think it is our responsibility to do so." To me, that is absolute truth. I just don't know how that can live side-by-side in me with the fact that I am just sure I am responsible for my own feelings. Being honest here, I know it would seem better to say I know for sure one way or the other, but I just don't. :s ...........

(26 Jul '12, 15:34) Grace

... Maybe its because I feel the responsibility on the macro level, but not the micro, somehow.

(26 Jul '12, 15:34) Grace

I don't disagree we all create our own reality by what we choose to do with what we are given. Think of this now, we know we gave someone garbage we said or did something that they could choose to feel lousy over. But now we send back in time a gift of gold they can still choose to feel lousy over the gift if they wish that is their part. Our part is removing the thing that if it were given to us we might choose to feel lousy over and replacing it with something we might choose to feel wonderful

(26 Jul '12, 15:56) Wade Casaldi

I cannot argue with that, Wade. You are right, and I stand corrected. :) Nice thing for me, too, because this is another part of a subject that's been bugging me, and you've just given me one more bit of clarity on it. Thank you, @Wade Casaldi! :)

(26 Jul '12, 16:47) Grace
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

Responsibility for what we can directly influence - yes. Responsibility for things outside of our direct influence - no. This means, in direct influence it is our input as we put it in. Outside of the circle of our direct influence, our input has been filtered by external filter (someone's belief system) for which we can't be held responsible, and thus the filtered result cannot fall under our responsibility either.

We have hurt others through life and it could have had a lasting effect that has been damaging how they feel about their worth and life.

I don't like this. I take responsibility for what I say or do. But not for how others interpret it to themselves. If I'm on the verge of comforting someone with a lie or staying true to myself and saying truth, I'll stay true to myself, or so I'd like to believe.

For what is a man, what has he got If not himself, then he has naught To say the things he truly feels And not the words of one who kneels. - I did it my way / Frank Sinatra


I believe as it says in the Bible we are our brother's keeper and we are responsible for not only ourselves but as well all others we ever met....

This actually gives a GO to "finger pointer" mentality. I could say that everyone I met in my life is now responsible for how my life turned out, because it was that guy or this girl who hurt me and because of them I'm not what I want to be. If I'd allow a thought that I'm responsible for others, then I'd also allow that others are responsible for me. No, I just can't do that.

We can removed that weight they have been carrying around for maybe years because of us. Think of this would you want someone to hate themselves for life because of something you said as a child?

People don't carry the monkey on their shoulders because of me, it's because of their fears and insecurities which gave birth to that monkey from what I said or did.

It's like saying that just because I live in my greatness letting my own light shine, I'm responsible for those insecure around me, who hide from life in their smallness and feel like losers, because I appear like a winner? Should I feel bad, because they feel bad, because I feel great?

I believe we need to take responsibility for all we have affected and send them our love, forgiveness, and apology.

But nobody really needs ME to help them. Everyone must help and depend on themselves. I know I'm repeating myself with Buddha's quotes all the time, but they just fit so many topics in so many ways.

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed - Buddha

And here you touch the point of it all...

...they do not need to beat themselves up anymore...

They. Beat. Themselves. It's obvious that I wasn't starring in that movie, since they didn't give me credit.

But then again, that's just what I believe. :-)


answered 26 Jul '12, 02:59

CalonLan's gravatar image


edited 26 Jul '12, 03:05

calonlan, we are responsible for how others react to what it is we say or write if it has them veer their course away or towards the light, like it or not. the laws of nature are set by a power far above us

(26 Jul '12, 09:50) fred

Great answer. Superb, love it, couldn't of said it better:-)

(26 Jul '12, 10:26) LapisLazuli

@Fred, if my actions were to steer someone astray from reaching the light, the only thing it shows is they didn't understand the power of the light anyway, otherwise they would not let themselves be led astray. Just as you have been given the sword, you have also been given the shield to protect yourself against the swords of others. It's everyone's own irresponsibility towards life, not to exercise their shield powers.

(26 Jul '12, 10:35) CalonLan

I was not talking about feeling bad about it but it was empowering that we can release that person that may be chained to us in a negative way. You may have said some thing hurtful or picked on someone as a kid. This formed into "why did no one like me." which lead to depression for this person in adult life over something long forgotten. But the words "I'm sorry go in peace and love I was wrong you are worthy and wonderful" even done in meditation are healing and releasing. Many need that sorry

(26 Jul '12, 10:45) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi, sure I might say I'm sorry, no problem with that, but I would also attempt to explain to them that opinions of others are of no importance compared to their own. Not to leave them in the never ending flux state where they are getting hurt by others.

(27 Jul '12, 01:39) CalonLan

calonlan, regarding he sword and shield; neither has a creative life of it's own, the wielder is responsible to know how to use them accordingly and today the purpose is usually awry

(27 Jul '12, 17:51) fred
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