Psychologically, spiritually, physiologically, why?

I mean this question literally; this confuses me. For a long time, I thought that loving and caring for people, easing each other's burdens, sharing my life with other humans, this was everything - the whole point of living. Then, for another long while, I decided that this was illogical, childish, sentimental; a foolish, self-indulgent, romanticized waste of a respectably intelligent person's time and energy. An outdated survival construct of society.

Now, I go back and forth, but I can see how unhappy and generally messed up I can get when I don't consciously include others in my life in a significant way.

When you love, you are allowing the experience love inside you that is already there - it doesn't come from the other person, right? So why would you miss them so badly when they're gone? It doesn't make sense.

I can feed myself, keep myself warm, sleep alone. I can talk to myself, hug myself, love myself. So why do I need you?

I so sorely do. But why?

asked 14 Aug '12, 11:30

Grace's gravatar image


edited 14 Aug '12, 23:07


to quote Treb- (and Rob from the chat ) When You Are Being Who You Are In The Greatess Degree Without Using Definitions To Enclose Ur Concious This Is What LOVE Is!" - Treb Bor yit-NE

(15 Aug '12, 04:37) ursixx

please give a listen to my newest session, it is me, i sent link below, it covers this EXACTLY. great love to u

(15 Aug '12, 13:46) TReb Bor yit-NE

@ursixx. yes it is a great quote brother. thank u for reiterating it

(15 Aug '12, 13:47) TReb Bor yit-NE

@Grace- I Need You, so it makes sense that you would need me. Right? Where would IQ be if we did not need each other? ♥

(15 Aug '12, 15:33) Jaianniah
(16 Aug '12, 15:05) Grace
showing 1 of 5 show 4 more comments

You need me because you need you.

The “You” that you know is the point of reference of creation from where you stand.

Each and every “You” is a “Me” when witnessed from within itself.

Therefore, in the bigger picture you know “You” as “Me” as you reach for guidance from within “yourself”

Since all of creation includes each and every one of “us” and since your own window into this creation is what you know as “Me” you reach towards each and every one of “us” through the interface known as “Me” from within yourself.

You are the portion of all of creation whose point of reference is Grace.

Your point of reference is a mere drop in the ocean of creation.

However, you are the portion of the ocean that is Grace, at that point of reference.

The content of your consciousness is not just you alone.

It is everything including "US" (the rest of humanity) as seen from your point of reference, through you in the voice of Grace.

We are all necessary to make my own inner conversation take form.

No matter in what point of reference you choose to have that conversation.

If that conversation is, "Why do I need the rest of you?"

Then YOU DO INDEED NEED the rest of us to help you give expression to the experience of "Why do I need the rest of you?"

We need to exist all around you in a manner that is “Un necessary and inconvenient to you” so that you can manifest the experience "Why do I need the rest of you"

You cannot make the rest of us disappear from your experience because we are also part of creation and your consciousness is an interpretation of that very same creation.

You interpret Creation in six different ways. Sight, Sound, Touch, Smell, Taste and Consciousness.

What ever you ANTICIPATE within your own consciousness, the rest of us automatically participate in creating for you so that you can physically experience the materialization of your conscious attention.

This is what we are waking up to.
To the realization that LOA is not a conscious thing. It is an un-conscious thing.

We are launching our selves physically with every thought and every attention.

When we do not want something, we are unconsciously launching the person we do not want to be into existence again and again.

Since the physical side is the REMINDER of your inner attention, that which you are not consciously aware of giving attention to is what is surrounding you physically, reminding you towards your own un-consciousness.

If this physical Reminder that is surrounding you is causing you to ask “Why do I need you?” Then there are portions of yourself that are un-conscious to you right now, that are trying to awaken you, by making you examine the content of your own consciousness from the point of reference of “Why do I need you?”

Perhaps you are trying to remind yourself that there are portions within you that you have chosen to ignore as un-necessary to yourself.

Although you are asking US this question, you are actually waking yourself up to this question by bouncing it against your external mirror of physical reality.

While it is valid that you require US to answer, the actual answer to this question lies in YOU examining YOUR inner perspective of creation (also known as your own consciousness) from the perspective of “Why do I need you?”

The questions you ask outside yourself is really also your conversation with creation through the interface of your inner self.

As a result, the most important answer to the question is not what WE give you, but rather it is what YOU give YOURSELF.


answered 15 Aug '12, 01:17

The%20Traveller's gravatar image

The Traveller

While my answer is specific to the question, it doesn't deal with the idea that "we" are actually spirits trapped in a highly limited script called "consciousness", or specifically "conscious analysis".

Much more can be achieved in the silence of listening to our question rather than thinking towards its answer.

Because the question is an internal rocket of yearning that breaks through the script of consciousness.

(15 Aug '12, 01:31) The Traveller

Thank you @The Traveller.

(15 Aug '12, 13:41) Grace

@The Traveller, I appreciate your description of me You are the portion of all of creation whose point of reference is Grace. I like that, it helps clarify this for me.

The suggestion that I can only answer this question myself from my own inner perspective has, I think lead me to not an answer, exactly, but more questions. I don't mean that as a bad thing; to me, the only way is to keep going til you hit the truth, whether you like it or not.....

(15 Aug '12, 15:08) Grace

.....I am beginning to see what my real question is about. The truth is I'm scared of you. And the closer I get to you (all of you), the more frightened I become. The fact is, people scare the living sh!t out of me.

(15 Aug '12, 15:08) Grace

Hi, Grace! Sorry for taking a while to respond to this comment. Rob's answer and his YouTube link is actually very good in covering various areas of our inner struggles, especially concerning the anxiety in social situations. I struggled with this myself for most of my life. I have overcome a-lot of it; however, the anxiety never completely goes away. When I say to myself "I'm not interested in that activity, I know that I am saying it from a place of anxiety instead of dis-interest"

(16 Aug '12, 23:24) The Traveller

Carefully listen to everything that is in Rob's link. It is the same understanding that I have used to un-ravel a-lot of my anxiety. His information is really good, especially if you are willing to understand it through application, which will take time. More time than it takes to analyze it in the mind and pass judgement upon it.

(16 Aug '12, 23:30) The Traveller

Our problem is further compounded by the fact that we are interested in spiritual matters, and we think, "Since I am interested in these subjects, I can't afford to admit to having these kinds of problems" which is complete nonsense of course, but the mind does think that way. My own social awkwardness began to change when I started admitting to it loudly. I was afraid to let people discover that I am insecure inside myself. When I started sharing this, I found that nobody cared.

(16 Aug '12, 23:47) The Traveller

@The Traveller, thank you - I have taken Rob's answer to heart, and I recognize that difference in me when I have been, and when I have not been aware of my own true value.. I have to say I go back and forth on that quite a bit - I say it, recognize it, feel it, but then lose it again and again.

When you mentioned social situations, it made me wonder if we are talking about the same struggle. (?) For me, I am often the belle of the ball, life of the party, (whether I feel it inside or not)...

(16 Aug '12, 23:53) Grace

The important thing I learned about myself is that my fear is rooted in trying to live up to the impression that I want others to have of me. I can easily project an exterior of confidence while feeling insecure inside, and I often heard others say "I wish I had your confidence" & it became a lie that I had to maintain. So I stopped lying to myself & began admitting my fears to others. I am still working on it. I am learning to love the "imperfect me" while trying to fix the imperfections.

(16 Aug '12, 23:59) The Traveller

... so it really isn't a shyness or social anxiety that this question is spiralling down to, its more about levels deeper than that, when people start to get in my heart. I put it in some clumsy words in comment with @CalonLan on this thread, but I'm becoming aware that I must be expressing myself very badly. I'm not even sure what I'm.asking anymore...this is hitting me very close to bone and I'm having trouble thinking clearly about it.

(16 Aug '12, 23:59) Grace

@The Traveller - This is funny, what a mess. Drawback to conversing on a forum, but nice to know someone's there. :) This has dug up something pretty major out of my core if my physical reaction is any indicator. My middle has started shaking so hard I can barely type - I mean, convulsing, and well it got worse from there. Doesn't feel very nice but it is probably a gold mine if I can get it straifht.

(17 Aug '12, 00:45) Grace

(straight) :p

(19 Aug '12, 22:52) Grace
showing 2 of 12 show 10 more comments

Because it serves you.

You need others, because others provide you with something which you don't know how to get by yourself. If you knew, you would not need them for it.

What that something is, is a question for you to answer. It might be a certain feeling or the state of being the bond with others create.

As I say often, you don't do anything unless there's something in it for you.

That should give you a clue ;-)


answered 14 Aug '12, 12:25

CalonLan's gravatar image


edited 14 Aug '12, 12:27

Thank you for your answer. I wish I could understand what it is that I need from people. They are so risky.

(14 Aug '12, 23:10) Grace

@Grace, if you really wish to know, then take a break from this site. At some point you will feel the huge urge to come back, when you do and before you listen to it and actually return, call that missing piece within yourself by its name.

And when you know what it is called, you'll know how to get it in other ways, or how to let go of it if you wish. That's how you cure yourself from any addiction and clinging onto things around you.

(15 Aug '12, 04:28) CalonLan

Thank you, @CalonLan. I didn't actually mean only IQ people. I meant all the people who are coming into my life now.

Withdrawing from everybody is my usual approach when I get nervous about people.

Coming here and talking with people so often is new and strange to me. I usually don't share myself so freely - far, far from it.

I don't tell people what is really in my mind or heart. Only you guys. But I understand what you mean.

(15 Aug '12, 13:40) Grace

@Grace, interesting. From the beginning of my life I was always steering from loneliness towards meeting people. I experienced what you are experiencing now. At some point it turned around and I've gone towards loneliness. When I had closer look at people and what they are about, helped me understand my own value. From that moment I wanted to be on my own. I realized that neighbor's grass isn't really greener and nobody's really better than me. As I stopped admiring them, I stop fearing too.

(16 Aug '12, 01:58) CalonLan

@CalonLan, that is a freeing revelation. Other people do appear to have themselves together so well sometimes, but I find that they either really don't, or they just sort of accept chaos unquestioningly (impossible for me), or they really do but it was hard won, so they are kind and happy to share what they've learned. Nothing to fear.

For me, I'm not very shy, love interacting, love hanging out with friends - happy hour or coffee houses after work are a real treat to me. But when people...

(16 Aug '12, 08:47) Grace

....get close to me, or if I start to care about them, that is what scares me, and I run. I just plain run, sometimes literally. I love having people close to me, love all of the intimacy - communication, the physical, the emotional, but when they get there, they feel dangerous. What this question has morphed into (which is really kind of interesting to me), is what do I do about that? LOL! How can you run away from people, then complain that you're lonely? It's ridiculous but here I am.

(16 Aug '12, 08:58) Grace
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

because you don't know where
all these answers are yet or
for that matter why you
are here this time around

maybe attaining what it
is you were designed to be
can't be done without
interacting with others


answered 14 Aug '12, 13:46

fred's gravatar image


Thank you, fred.

(14 Aug '12, 23:11) Grace

Please listen to this. It has such great meaning and describes this PERFECTLY !

Rob talks about Relationships. (loving urself)


answered 15 Aug '12, 13:45

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE


Thank you, Rob. I will listen as soon as I get home from work.

(15 Aug '12, 13:55) Grace

I listened to what you had to say. You are so full of love yourself, it has to rub off on anyone who listens. Thanks again.

(15 Aug '12, 22:57) Grace

Hi, Rob. Thank you for this information. I know that you have posted this link in response to other questions as well & having listened to your words, I agree that it answers the needs of all those questions and much more. Also thank you for confirming an understanding I had about how my own anticipation of other's opinions and behaviour towards me become the very reason why they have those opinions and behaviour towards me.

(17 Aug '12, 00:10) The Traveller

@TReb- THANKYOU!! Everyone this is the best advise I've heard from any source, better than Abraham, about how to attract love.

Obviously, for me, I just needed to be in the correct reality to attract this info in the first place. Thankyou so much Rob :)

(20 Aug '12, 09:51) Nikulas
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

Just a little p.s. to The Traveller Great answer!
alt text
Here we are .glad to help.

As far as the relation side of needing "you" I totaly agree with Calonlan.
"You don't do anything unless there's something in it for you."
When you truly love yourself, your truly trust yourself and trust your emotions and intuitions. And those help you decide on: Who is the Right person to share your reality intimately with.
And besides that isn't more fun to have someone else bring you breakfast in bed than having to do it yourself?


answered 15 Aug '12, 03:13

ursixx's gravatar image


Thank you, @ursixx. love the pic.

(15 Aug '12, 13:41) Grace

Hi, ursixx
Thank you for your comment!

The picture make me chuckle! now that's a happy toe!

(17 Aug '12, 00:16) The Traveller

This isn't so much the need for each other as it is the need for the love of each other. To understand this further Love is Life, and we all express this love to each other but the surest purest source of this love is God's love. That is the love we all express through to each other.

But this love no matter how perfect is never really fulfilling because it is coming through a filter of each person, no matter how much it is tried to be expressed it is not the pure love of God and so there end up conditions for this love.

The way to get more love is to open up and let Christ live within you so that when you love that is more of God's love coming through. To experience the real fulfillment is the direct love from God you feel in having a close personal relationship with God.

To understand this better watch the movie or read the book (A Perfect Stranger - movie, Dinner with a Perfect Stranger - book) It is not about religion but love is what accepting Christ is about.

The second movie (Another Perfect Stranger -movie or A Day With a Perfect Stranger -book) explains how he feels about religion. My pastor says the same things actually, being Christian is about having a close relationship knowing God personally like a best friend. :-)


answered 15 Aug '12, 15:36

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 15 Aug '12, 15:37

Thank you, Wade. Have you ever read The Shack, by William P.Young? This may be a little off topic, but it sure is about God's love. An intense book. Ripped me to shreds, and made me look a Jesus in a better light. (Bad experiences in the past, not a fan of church.) He was such a cool guy in that book - anyone would want to know him. :) As Eddie Izzard calls him, "Relaxed and groovey." :D The characters drawn of the personified Trinity live in my head still. This was

(16 Aug '12, 09:07) Grace

.... another of the hundred books that came crashing down in that earthquake... that and the Celtic Wisdom one seem to be asking for my attention. Love it, makes me feel like I'm not alone, and look - even that awful earthquake managed to have something good come out of it!

(16 Aug '12, 09:11) Grace

The Shack I never heard of that book. I think you would like those Perfect Stranger movies because they really are against religion. Remember Jesus was actually against religion he was about empowerment and showing us we can now have a close personal relationship with God. In the movie Another Perfect Stranger he actually says "I Hate Religion" That seems a strange thing to most and even blasphemous, but he is not saying, "I Hate God" Because he actually Loves God. :-)

(20 Aug '12, 01:42) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi - Yes, I remember Jesus' opinion of religion. :) Never missed a chance to take a shot at the folly of a Pharisee - I loved those bits, always found them amusing when I was studying the bible. I bet he was a fun guy to hang around. I respect him very much, and follow his lead - in feeling anyway. I leave Pharisees to their own destruction. I will look for the Perfect Stranger movies, Wade, thank you.

(20 Aug '12, 08:50) Grace
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