How does one stay positive and be in the state of harmony, when either your family members or surroundings are so negative and gloomy? And the state that your family is in has been a continuous one, of negativity and put downs.

asked 12 Oct '09, 15:22

N20's gravatar image


I think many or most of us have to be with negative people, either from our families, or in the workplace. I do understand how you feel as one branch of our family is alcoholics, crabbing all the time, and with no respect for anyone or anything. When around those people, I like to guard myself, by imagining a dome of reflective glass around my solar plexus. I can't remember where I learned this. I used to feel it in my gut when they would carry on but I don't anymore when I remember to do that exercise. I also wash myself with white light when leaving their presence. You can limit time around negative people, or be proactive by planning activities where you will not have to listen to them ...for example seeing movies, or going dancing. Best wishes for getting through this.


answered 12 Oct '09, 19:05

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

Thank You LeeAnn, I suppose our thing is in learning to deal with both in a positive way.

(13 Oct '09, 03:22) N20

Thank you LeeAnn

(21 Oct '09, 23:47) flowingwater

Negative thoughts are most likely just 'habitual' thoughts, which means they can be changed, but it takes work.

Just like you don't leave one workout at the gym and and immediately achieve your perfect body, training the mind takes time also and many times is a daily process because our thoughts are so deeply ingrained.

Just like the ancient saying, 'We create our outer lives from within and not the other way around.' If you want a more positive, happy life, it begins in mind...with your thoughts.

If you can, also stay away from negative, gossiping people who will only pull you back into a negative state of mind. That includes media which will do the same because just like the saying goes, 'Garbage in, garbage out!" Learn to protect your mind just like you would protect your body or other things that are precious to you.

For many more positive, empowering sayings from Spiritual Masters and brilliant philosophers to help you, you can go to: and click onto : Your Right to be Rich


answered 13 Oct '09, 14:43

jane's gravatar image


Thank You Jane, well said (-:

(14 Oct '09, 08:27) N20

You become positive by first recognizing that your question is a negative one; it focuses you onto the negative energy in your life, rather than the positive energy.

Here are some tips:

  • When you get up in the morning, have a 3x5 card on your nightstand that you can read when you first get up, and spend five minutes asking yourself the following questions:

What do I feel good about today? What am I grateful for? What can I feel excited about today? Who do I love, and who loves me?

  • Make sure you're getting 20 to 30 minutes of exercise that makes you break a sweat, every day.
  • Go to Souplantation (or a health food store, somewhere with fresh, live fruits and vegetables) and eat healthy at least once a week.
  • Find at least one thing that's inspirational to you (a song or a quote from a book, etc.), and experience that once a day.
  • Consider meditating 10 minutes each day.

Finally, the most important step:

Accept these people in your life as who they are. Work on your own attitude, not theirs. As you become healthier and happier, some of them will follow you to better wellness.

Also, examine your responses to their behavior; all human behavior is driven by motivation, and you may be reinforcing their behavior by your responses to their actions without even knowing it.


answered 13 Oct '09, 01:38

Vesuvius's gravatar image


edited 13 Oct '09, 03:18

Thanks 'unknown...I have and do all of the above, I reinforce the positive at all times in others and to others. I asked the ? to see how others handle similar situations.

(13 Oct '09, 03:35) N20

There is a verse in the Bible that says, "Even when you go in an unbeliever's home, when you leave, shake the very dirt off of your boots!"

Now this may seem as a strange thing to say until you start understanding energy. The unbeliever has an affect on you. This is an energy effect, like a tuning pitch, it affects your pitch. So shaking the dirt off of your boots is like saying, "If I picked up anything here, I now leave it at the door." In other words you clear yourself as you leave.

Let no negative affect you, say that to yourself, "If I picked up anything I now drop it, it has no home with me."


answered 01 May '13, 02:59

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 01 May '13, 03:02

Dear Kathleen,

I know exactly how you feel. If you care to visit my blog on You will find a short post 'You too can do it' I'm sure you will find it helpful.




answered 12 Oct '09, 17:55

Penny's gravatar image


Just wanted to point out that 'Ain' asked the question and my name comes up as I edited the question tags. It is just part of administering the site.

(12 Oct '09, 18:12) Inactive User ♦♦

Thank You for your answer Penny (-: appreciate it.

(13 Oct '09, 03:20) N20

..also for the link 'thank you'

(13 Oct '09, 03:39) N20

You are welcome Kathleen xx

(13 Oct '09, 09:47) Penny
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

if you can't change it, use it. how ? be exactly the opposite. even being positive can be hard some times. but don't worry, nothing lasts forever.


answered 13 Oct '09, 01:02

Adel's gravatar image


Thanks Adel, this is true (-:

(13 Oct '09, 03:26) N20
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