I'm not talking here about manipulation or trying to control a person with negative and fear based intentions. But let's say for the sake of this post you aren't trying to do so for selfish gain or egotistic reasons that it's definitely possible (I believe it's possible even if you have bad intentions, I just don't agree with it). I don't necessarily grasp why in Abraham Hick's teachings that it says you can influence how others show up (look up the video on youtube) and yet the majority claim you can't.
Say for this example, you are "in your vortex" dealing with a particular very fear driven, unaware and unenlightened person's decision which WILL play a major role in your life, who is to say that IF you are at a very powerful level mentally that you can't control how certain people show up? And on that note, let us say that this person in fact DOES want to do what you want them to do, but could potentially turn away from that out of fear? If you know that a person truly wants the same thing as you but would deny themself from having it (people do it all of the time out of fear) then why couldn't you just as well influence them to overcome that fear and do what you want?
If you're in the vortex, you can call someone into the vortex. If you're not in the vortex you can't call someone into the vortex. That's a basic teaching of Abraham Hicks. So if you're aligned and level headed, in the vortex, believe in yourself, your abilities, your power, your influence, etc. do you think your influence is that great that you can override somebodies freewill if what you're wanting aligns directly with their true desires? I do in certain cases. I know Abraham Hicks is all about letting people off the hook, not caring about what others do, and all of that, but I study a variety of things other than Abraham Hicks and I believe interaction with other people, whether it be a casual interaction, family or a deep friendship, do play a fairly big role in your life.
I believe instead of just being an actor in other's lives including your own, (if you have that sense of godlike mastery in your life) that you can willingly become the director and rewrite the script, so to speak. (I am not talking about controlling, manipulative, hateful behavior, mentally influencing someone to screw up their life, wish something evil upon someone, wish bad things would happen, or what some would call "dark magic"). And don't give me the whole "NO because you wouldn't want someone to do that to you". Don't take this out of context. I believe it's possible to override people's freewill to some extent if what you want is what they want deep down. Unenlightened and unfree people do things they DON'T WANT to all of the time. People like that also run from what they WANT because of fear. If you've mastered your life, if you've set yourself free, I think you have that ability to free others as well. There have been times in my life I am glad people forcefully stepped in to help me open my eyes to what I truly wanted and "wake up" even though I denied myself my true desires at the time. I see nothing wrong with it nor think it's impossible to do so.
asked 22 Sep '13, 17:53
Every single person you come across in life is your doing to begin with, so yes, you can influence how others show up or do what is in your best interest. Even though the phrase "doing what is in my best interest" can have a demanding or controlling feel to it, it simply means matching my beliefs and vibrational frequency. Or seeing the reflection of my most dominant thoughts and feelings.
Every person you come across in life is just a reflection of yourself anyway. The person you see "out there" is actually being created from in your very own consciousness.
That "other person" that you are trying to influence is actually your own (individual and unique) version anyway. The reflection you get of that individual may not be the same reflection that another person experiences. The life you are living is your own personal playground and you get the awesome illusion of forgetting that you are in control of everyone and everything that shows up in your life. You are that other person in a sense.
So if you have a particular set of detailed beliefs and definitions about John Doe, you will get those beliefs reflected back to you as what we humans call - Physical Manifestations.
You're not actually taking a person from "out there" (or in other words the solid physical world) and molding and shaping their minds to be the way we prefer them to be. It would come down to changing the dominant core beliefs from within our consciousness that we have regarding their actions as a human being.
Everything is happening now, so all possibilities are available. The one person we think we collectively see in solid physical form is actually multiple versions of the same one template, manifesting very rapidly like a filmstrip to give the illusion of a single person that doesn't seem to change.
So if we continue to envision a person the same way over and over again through our definitions, we will continue to manifest that same results. If we change how we envision them, we will get the results that match our new beliefs.
Even though it seems to be said over and over again, it all begins - within. So essentially, everything and person you experience in your reality is uniquely yours and yours alone.
You will simply match the frequency/vibration version of the person/s that you desire to experience and it will manifest into your reality. It really is as simple as that.
Being who you truly want to be in this game of physical life is what you should focus on being in your best interest. Doing things that make you happy and joyful is what you should focus on being in your best interest. When you focus on how you think, feel, and what you prefer your state of being to be, your vibrational frequency and dominant beliefs will influence how others show up in your experience.
EDIT ADDED 9/26/13
I understand how you feel about it being confusing. It took me a few years to understand how this stuff works as well.
The key point (that has helped me at least) to remember is that Your physical mind is not designed to understand how things happen. It is only designed to understand how things "happened."
This is what causes stress, anxiety, fear, physical ailments in the body etc. When we are resisting our natural self and not allowing our natural self to flow freely, we get in this perpetual block of resistance because the physical mind is becoming way too overloaded. It gets bogged down because it is taking on way too much unnecessary weight that it wasn't designed to deal with in the first place.
When we decide to put our focus and attention on whatever makes us feel good, or our highest joy, or passion, or desires, and forget about how everything works and if it will work or not, the block of resistance will crumble and in will flow all the things we have in our vortex of desire/creation.
So if you can find a way to let go of every little detail and simply relax and know everything works perfectly to begin with, then the things, people, and circumstances you want will start showing up with no effort or logical thinking whatsoever.
You said it yourself right there. You aren't actually putting your hand out and changing them physically. You are changing yourself from within through thought and are manifesting that specific parallel reality version of that person that matches your thought energy frequency.
The other version of that person still exists. You just aren't tuned into their frequency anymore. You create it all. Just choose what you want and allow the universe to do all the "heavy lifting" of figuring things out so to speak.
answered 25 Sep '13, 03:16
That's a good way of putting it. My only thought is really the process of how it works, because it almost seems an odd thing to ponder the thought of controlling how people show up in your reality based upon your perception of someone, because if people (even though they may be unaware of these teachings) are influencing me based on their perception then I haven't noticed, I feel like I act the same almost around everyone. Then again, I guess focusing on the "how" really isn't necessary if you
(25 Sep '13, 22:17) lex
practice this stuff in the first place. Maybe it's different if you're aware of it verses not having any clue about creating your reality. I don't know. I've seen a dramatic shift in people first hand based on my change in thought, so I can't really refute it. It's just confusing
(25 Sep '13, 22:19) lex
Thanks @ele Everything gets easier when we can learn to simplify what we have been programmed to think is a long hard arduous process.
(26 Sep '13, 16:25) Cory
So for example, you can bring some trustworthy qualities out of a (occasionally) untrustworthy person, bring brave qualities out of another who is fearful, you can bring the truth out of someone who is lying, have your boss who is disrespectful to others show you kindness, etc. if you consciously choose to experience those out of someone? Basically you can bring the best version of anyone out and into your experience? These don't apply directly to my life, I'm just curious. Thank you very very
(27 Sep '13, 09:14) lex
much for your help and clear easily understood answers.
(27 Sep '13, 09:14) lex
@lex It's up to the person's core beliefs who is observing the situation regarding the examples you gave. It's not that you are actually bringing anything out of anyone. You are actually experiencing a totally different version of them. It would be pretty hard to get the version of the person you desire to experience if the focus is on such things as untrustworthy, being fearful, lying, or a person who is disrespectful. It isn't possible to put the attention on those definitions and change...
(27 Sep '13, 10:34) Cory
@lex...them. The person has to be seen as if they already exist as trustworthy, fearless, truthful, and respectful. That's the key to the belief system and that is why core beliefs manifest things so precisely. It's about acting as if that person already exists in that particular way no matter what you experience with the 5 senses. That is why people have such a rough time with this metaphysical jargon, we can't let go of just using our 5 physical senses and allow the non-physical reality...
(27 Sep '13, 10:39) Cory
@lex... to do the heavy lifting. There are an infinite number of different versions of all of us. Decide which version you want to experience and focus on that. Completely let go of those limited qualities that you listed above and focused on the positive qualities utterly and completely. Act as if...believe it is already done.
I hope I helped answer your questions a little better and you are more than welcome.
(27 Sep '13, 10:52) Cory
Thanks thanks thanks. Last question, you don't have to explain in depth if you don't want to because I know I've asked you quite a bit. So, you think you can do the examples that I gave in the question? I know those are quite specific scenarios but if you can do the things people are suggesting here in their answers, I see no reason as to why you couldn't influence to that degree.
(28 Sep '13, 10:49) lex
@lex You are welcome and don't worry about asking more questions, that's what this great site is all about. To be blunt with you, it doesn't matter or not if I can experience the examples you mentioned in your question or not, it only matters if you believe 100% that you can experience them and that they are already done right now.
But to give an example of my own, yes, I have personally transformed relationships in my life by thought, belief, and expectation. I went from having a...
(29 Sep '13, 01:30) Cory
@lex ...strained relationship with my only brother and have transformed that relationship in a very short period of time through thought, belief and expectation. It has had a tremendous benefit in my confidence that what I said in my answer actually does work when put in practice and repetition.
I can give examples till the cows come home though, but if the person trying to change their own reality doesn't have the belief mechanism in place, every attempt to change the "perceived" outer...
(29 Sep '13, 01:40) Cory
@lex circumstances and people in the specific person's experience will not work out so well. Just believe, allow, and receive...that is the most simplistic and straightforward formula. All things in life work out in the right way at the right time with those simple steps.
(29 Sep '13, 01:43) Cory
That was wonderful. Thank you for all of the advice you have given me I can't tell you how much you've helped me out. Guess I will take the next step and put it to the test :)
(29 Sep '13, 02:25) lex
showing 2 of 16 show 14 more comments
I came across this interesting article a while back about relationships that really just reiterates @Corys excellent answer. Hope you find it helpful.
answered 26 Sep '13, 18:41
Thank you for sharing, amazing read. I agree to some extent, but I don't necessarily believe people mirror to some of those extreme degrees. Reflecting on my life in a lot of situations I see where this applies directly (not necessary relationships, but friendships) but, certain people I don't see how I'm anything like. Not that I don't want to be associated with their personality lol, just that I have been analyzing how I treat myself and others and SOME things I can't really pinpoint where
(27 Sep '13, 09:18) lex
I'm going wrong concerning how I treat myself if they are a mirror of my inner world, so to speak. I don't know, I'll think on it. I %100 agree with be the change you wish to see, thank you for you input it's very helpful.
(27 Sep '13, 09:19) lex
@Satori I never get tired reading things like this. Thanks for sharing:-)
(27 Sep '13, 10:54) Cory
@Lex- Your welcome. :)
@Cory- Your welcome and great to see you on IQ sharing your wisdom. Thank you:)
(27 Sep '13, 13:40) Satori
Excellent article @Satori, thank you. This and @Cory's answer (Thank you @Cory!) are so perfect and timely for me. I have a life-changing situation on my hands, and one person who has a lot of influence over how it goes is not a friendly one. I am seeing now some of the ways I disrespect and mistreat myself in this person's actions...
(27 Sep '13, 15:14) Grace
...I have just realized that I withhold love and praise from myself if I don't behave in a prescribed way. I don't allow myself peace of mind until I "perform" up to some standard I set for myself somehow. I never saw before how very unwise that is LOL!!! It is being very clearly mirrored for me today, and you two have made it very clear what I need to do to change that. Thanks again. :)
(27 Sep '13, 15:14) Grace
@Grace You are welcome. You are in no way shape or form being "unwise" as you say, it actually takes a very wise person to be alert to what situations are occurring in their life. You are very far from unwise in my opinion. You are pure love and peace and that is your birthright. Forget about the "other person" and focus on how a special and deserving being that I know you are. Remember, circumstances don't matter, only your state of being matters.
(29 Sep '13, 02:01) Cory
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I personally like the idea that LOA and manifestation isn't actually influencing others as such, but that it is instead influencing different infinite versions of other people to show up in certain situations in response to your own manifestations. I also like the idea that when you use Law of Attraction in a positive way (similarly to in a negative way) you are branching off into a different Universe to a different version of yourself that is in the more positive situation that you have manifested.
So, in manifesting the ideal situation for yourself there is absolutely no need to worry about impacting your manifestations on others. Everyone else in the world is doing exactly the same thing, using positive and negative LOA, whether they know it or not. In the same way that you may 'manifest' someone into appearing into your life, someone else in another parallel Universe may influence you to positively show up in their life, even though the current self that you are inhabiting will never know it.
answered 28 Sep '13, 11:09
Damn, you know, I thought I already knew almost anything I could possibly know about loa, abraham hicks, etc. until I signed up for this site haha. Maybe I took what you were saying the wrong way, but what exactly do you mean by parallel universe and different versions? Are you saying that since we create our own reality, that literally this world concerning the people in it, circumstances, etc. is merely a reflection of what is within? This is where my massive confusion in the entire thing has
(28 Sep '13, 11:44) lex
been concerning this stuff. Because the way you're saying "someone else in a parallel universe may influence you to positively show up in their life, even though the current self that you are inhabiting will never know" mean that I am doing things and showing up in someone's life as they see fit, in said parallel universe? I feel stupid asking, because I'm either waaaay off or deeply confused about this concept.
(28 Sep '13, 11:46) lex
Sorry for causing confusion. I probably almost confused myself! :) Basically a simple way of putting it is that this is your world view seen from the point of view of your conciousness and what you experience and how it is interpreted is entirely down to you. In your reality you can shape what experiences you have in the same way that I can. At least that's what I am trying to do more and more, anyway.
(28 Sep '13, 13:31) colino green
So then you can influence others since they are just a fragment of your reality and if you can summon "different versions" of them, in a way. I just see no way around that
(28 Sep '13, 14:07) lex
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Do not try that! Weak souls (in the sense of having a craving for something, unfulfilled desires) may attract other souls who are looking for a body as to fulfill their unfulfilled desires. Conversely, you may master some souls only if they are weak in the above sense. But be careful! The forces which interact to produce the phenomena of any action: souls, matter and the Supreme Soul (God), are threaded by the law of karma. Thus you will be creating a karmic account for you. It means you will have to pay in the same coin--someone more powerful will master you! Do you feel that it is worth it? Karmic result is sure to ensue! When you act, there are more than 99% factors outside you to make your action possible, and your part is too insignificant as to claim doership to your action. The same factors will see that every action have its consequence! tdjaum "AT" gmail.com
Additional: Don’t worry, you can take the principle behind it—forget the details. I will come to your point. There is one person very explosive in the office where my wife works. Nobody escapes his wrath and shouting! My wife asked me how to work around him. I told her to really feel GOOD about him in her heart, look at his very essence—the image of God within him that lies dormant temporarily rather than the externals that irritates others. Send REALLY good wishes to him always, especially before going to him for some work-related matter. She says this works perfectly, she has never experienced even slightly negative treatment from this person. This may be interpreted as influencing the other person. But it is not. What actually happens is that when you send good wishes, you are a donor, positive, stronger, proves like a rock mountain against which the weak flies can exert no force.
answered 23 Sep '13, 07:53
T D Joseph
I don't understand what you're saying. Everyone in the world that has unfulfilled desires is a "weak soul"? Ouch. I wouldn't go as far as saying that..
(23 Sep '13, 16:29) PowerWave
You took what I was saying completely out of context. I didn't mean manipulate or literally possess someone to do your bidding. I am going to reword the question and base it more around INFLUENCE instead of control.
(23 Sep '13, 17:44) lex
Ah yea that's interesting. I believe that. As I've said before, every single person has an innate desire to be "happy" or free (as I like to call it), which being negative and fear driven is quite the opposite of those two, and whether unenlightened people realize that or not true happiness does not consist of being mean, hateful, vindictive, fearful, etc. So I figure someone who has achieved that level of enlightenment has more power (greater influence) over those that are not, considering that
(24 Sep '13, 11:31) lex
we all want that anyways. I see nothing wrong with doing that either, it's just an extremely high level of influence more than control.
(24 Sep '13, 11:32) lex
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments
The only differences between influence & control are intention & success rate. And there are times when either can be appropriate, and times when either can be worthy of the warnings given by T D.
@lex: "So I figure someone who has achieved that level of enlightenment has more power (greater influence) over those that are not[...]"
As a general rule there is correlation between influence and 'enlightenment', but it's easily possible for the 'unenlightened' or the enlightened of a nefarious variety to still exhibit this great degree of influence and/or control over others, without having the wisdom and tact to know when exercising their abilities can be detrimental to others. Also as one becomes more aware and in tune to the needs of others I'd say it actually becomes MORE likely they would choose to NOT exercise their ability despite becoming more capable at influencing others, because with this awareness you begin to see a deeper picture than "I should just make everyone behave in the way which I think makes the most sense while I'm around, rather than knowing when to let people walk their own paths."
At its most basic your question is akin to asking can the difference between someone showing up to meet you with a smile or frown can be influenced (or if successful, determined) by your actions, be they entirely mental or aided with behavior and approach as well.
Even in the best intentions such as above I think this can still have unforeseen consequences if not approached with balance, like anything else. Sure, everyone wants to be able to make others happy, or help guide them to what we believe are the most valuable decisions and encounters in life, and to a degree this is good. However taken to extremes I think it can be a problem, for example never allowing someone to simply experience something they may need to spend the time going through such as being upset and getting out their pent up emotions.
To me this is the difference between trying to cheer someone up because you know they're feeling down, but no longer pressing the matter once you see they're going through something critical to their growth and development as a person. Versus the other option of continuing this approach to such an extreme you no longer allow your friend to express themselves or come to you when they're hurt in a time of need, because even though you think you're doing them a favor by never letting them stay unhappy around you you're actually depriving them of comforting, a support system, and an unfortunate but sometimes necessary experience.
Some times you have to just let someone be themselves and do what comes naturally to them, even if you know inside there are a dozen different ways your actions could elevate or exacerbate their situation.
answered 24 Sep '13, 16:11
This is true and I agree when it comes to sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong haha. I see where some of a person's suffering, bad choices, attitude may be necessary for their spiritual growth and I don't think it's right to intervene in certain situations. But I believe there are exceptions, you just have to be able to have the clarity to pinpoint which scenarios it is acceptable to use this ability maybe. Thank you for your input that was a unique perspective I hadn't considered.
(27 Sep '13, 09:24) lex
I tried my best to keep this answer as short as possible, but as usual, the answer had its own ideas.
Paradoxically, the answer you are looking for is actually hidden in the way you have phrased the question in the two ideas "influence someone" and "what is in your best interest".
WE ALREADY DO THIS, ALL THE TIME, IN A COMPLETELY UN-CONSCIOUS WAY.
The best way to wake up one's self to this truth is to observe the negative spectrum of reality, because most "spiritual" seekers tend to be in complete denial of their own participation in consciousness. (This is the nonphysical counterpart of reality).
Consider the following situations:
The State of Indifference:
So now, let's stack up the layers.
I am ready to make a change but, in spite of me being nice, I find that I am un-appreciated, taken advantage of regularly, making me feel like a constant victim.
It is not me... it's "THEM".
They are the ones treating me this way, and preventing me from making a change.
"I AM STUCK HERE"
So what is really happening here?
If you understand the three situations, you will know that others can only do to us what we allow to be done to us in the first place.
Let us look at that again.
OTHERS CAN ONLY ACT UPON WHAT WE ALLOW TO BE DONE TO US.
They can only act upon what we believe... This creates an energetic projection of potential reality ...that then attracts a similar vibration of participation by others.
IMAGINING = ALLOWING
Only what you imagine happening to you can be done to you by others.
So, in a way, you manipulate other's free will to align with what you imagine will happen to you next.
When you are approaching the bank machine, if you worry that someone might rob you or imagine yourself being robbed, in that moment, you allow anybody in the vicinity who has the desire to rob someone to align with your desire to be robbed.
You do not recognize this as a desire, but in the purest sense of manifestation, IT IS the desire to experience the fear that comes from being robbed.
Just like the constant attention to the idea, "I AM A VICTIM" is actually the physical desire to experience being the victim.
Therefore, we are constantly manipulating the free will of others to be expressed within the narrow confines of what we imagine others are doing to us.
Although, I started this answer by saying we do it in an unconscious way, the truth is it is very conscious, but we are in constant denial of it.
If you want to see how you are manipulating other's behaviour towards you, examine all the things you are worrying about, (what you worry that they might do to you).
Once you understand where your attraction exists, you can take command of it.
However, that is the paradox, you already command it...in the manner in which you do not want.
answered 28 Sep '13, 14:44
A footnote :
(28 Sep '13, 14:58) The Traveller
Brilliantly put. Thank you for the examples, I appreciate the time that probably went into it. So this applies even to specific people in your life that make up your reality, instead of strictly random individuals as you used in your examples? I believe that. I am just curious of your perspective on that. Thank you
(28 Sep '13, 17:02) lex
You effortlessly influence those who are close to you because you have invested your conscious attention upon their anticipated behaviour at a very deep and unconscious level within you.
(28 Sep '13, 22:30) The Traveller
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