Should you reach out, and try? I know someone who is hurting, and I try to help, but am rebuffed.

Do I continue to help, or let them go?



asked 28 Mar '13, 03:10

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 28 Mar '13, 03:11

There are many people I would like to help but believe I can't. If you believe you can help someone and would like to, do so.

(28 Mar '13, 04:41) flowsurfer

@flow see the list below in my answer, i'm sure you can do at least one of the things in the list

(28 Mar '13, 04:59) ru bis
showing 0 of 3 show 3 more comments

You cannot help someone who refuses to allow themselves to be helped.

That being said, I truly believe that anyone can be helped- it is simply a question of having the tools to address whatever issues that they are faced with.

If you do decide to try and help someone who is strongly resistant to the idea, always be sure to keep yourself safe and healthy first and foremost. You can't allow yourself to be harmed at the expense of someone who is consciously choosing to behave in a manner you see as destructive.


answered 28 Mar '13, 03:14

Snow's gravatar image


It all depends on how you feel! If you feel that you have an answer and it well help and the answer feels good then why not. If you feel that your answer falls on deaf ears then why ? Perhaps the help you give is most helpful to yourself. The highest calling is to help others and in that help at the end the one we truly help is ourselves. So why would you stop helping yourself.
Someone I work with described a person (one of our clients) when she first met him as an "energy vampire".And could they said just drain all of her energy .. It made me think that I (we) are an unlimited energy source. there is no draining of my (our) energy is is overwhelming. It is just the belief that your energy is finite a limited resource that makes it so. Now this client is my responsibly and is works so well between us.
Don't give up


answered 28 Mar '13, 03:29

ursixx's gravatar image



don't give up 'cause you have friends don't give up you're not the only one don't give up no reason to be ashamed don't give up you still have us don't give up now we're proud of who you are don't give up you know it's never been easy don't give up 'cause I believe there's a place there's a place where we belong

(28 Mar '13, 03:33) ursixx

To answer this we need to look at the others as we would if they were ourselves. If we look at them as different or separate from us it is easy to give up on others.

Now if we put ourselves in that place we need to think how would we feel if we were given up on?

Yes I know it hurts not being recognized or appreciated for the help we try to give. But how much more is the pain of the suffering souls so deeply lost that they can't see the help?

If it were me I would want no one giving up on me until I was reached no matter what it takes!


answered 28 Mar '13, 05:10

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 28 Mar '13, 05:15


We won't Wade!

(28 Mar '13, 05:15) ele

Someone who is "stuck in the pit" have got there through there own way of seeing things, of their own doing. So in other words this question could be rephrased "how do we change the point of view of some one, of how they see things?" ... well, i think you'll agree, we can can provide knowledge and instruction for as long as we wish but ultimately they have to learn themselves.

Having said that, there is a way we can morally assist them, as the dalai lama says;

"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion, if you want to be happy, practice compassion"

Compassion is the deep awareness of the suffering of someone else and the desire to relieve it, in other words "show love", and we can show our love for them in a multitude of ways.

Here is a list of 25 ways to help a fellow human being today;

smile and be friendly - do voluntary work - donate something you don't use - make a donation - redirect gifts - stop to assist - teach someone a skill you know - relieve someone in grief - help someone take action - buy a sandwich for a homeless person - lend your ear - help someone on the edge - help someone get active - do a chore - give a massage - send a pleasant email - show appreciation publicly - donate food - just be there - be patient - tutor a child - create a care package - lend your voice - offer to babysit - love

alt text


answered 28 Mar '13, 04:38

ru%20bis's gravatar image

ru bis


alrite another list ^5 ;)

(28 Mar '13, 04:41) ursixx

i love making lists ... i have to make a list of all the things to do otherwise i can't sleep at night lol

(28 Mar '13, 04:44) ru bis

I love crossing off things on the list even better

(28 Mar '13, 04:47) ursixx

what you mean eliminating them as in disintegrating them

(28 Mar '13, 04:57) ru bis

nope just putting a line through them so I can move on to the next thing on the list or start on another list. Accomplishment!

(28 Mar '13, 04:59) ursixx

thanks love it, why didn't i think of that?; so that explains why i felt so worn out, i just kept going through the list time and time again without stopping lol now i can give myself a break

(28 Mar '13, 05:02) ru bis

like a mouse on a tread mill

(28 Mar '13, 05:05) ru bis

I must be insane then; I continue to do those same things over and over again.

(28 Mar '13, 05:14) ele
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