Over the past few days I encountered a major financial crises in my life and the bank collectors started to put the pressure on. Those of us hailing from eastern cultures will understand that for us loss of "face" or honour is a fate worse than dying. I had 24 hours to deposit a fairly large amount and no way of getting jold of that money. That evening I felt so helpless that I thought I might as well end all this, I remember having my dinner and thinking this might be the last time I sit down to dinner. I felt miserable and really afraid - yet somewhere deep within myself there was this hope that things will be OK. Anyways immediately after dinner I got a call from my cousin saying he was going to lend me the money.
My question is can 2 conflicting emotions co-exist i.e being so hopeless and afraid that one wants to commit suicide and yet have hope that things will turn out well. The fear was the strongest emotion but did it get overridden by a weak hope?
asked 30 Sep '10, 08:37
I Think Therefore I Am
Barry Allen ♦♦
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As you know, I hail from an eastern culture, having a Muslim background, and I would tend to agree with you that loss of face is a fate worse than dying.
But you know what? It is tremendously freeing to not care anymore what they (or anyone else) thinks. Just letting yourself be you and letting those judgemental folks like it or leave it gives you all your power back in an instant. You can be whatever you want without all the approval baggage that so many others (from any culture) are tied into during their lives.
Are you sure there is not an element of this yearning to be free of the need for approval with this experience you have created for yourself?
In my case, I am probably the most dis-approved of person that I know, as far as that culture is concerned...to the extent that I have virtually no contact at all with those of that culture, not even my strictly religious parents.
But, guess what, I am so happy to be free of it all. I don't miss it one bit. I would never go back to all that for anything. And so, so, so many good things have come about for me from taking that leap of faith of daring to be me regardless of what anyone else thinks.
It doesn't mean you need to cut yourself off - that's just what I'm personally comfortable with - but maybe you might want to care less what they think?
It's only human beings that like to pigeon-hole and judge each other based on appearances, lifestyle and life circumstances. I find that non-physical doesn't care one bit - the love pouring forth is always unconditional. Indeed, from the non-physical perspective, the more variety in viewpoint and circumstance, the better.
Regarding your question, you cannot experience two emotions simultaneously because your focus can only be on one thought at a time and an emotion only comes about in response to a thought.
However, you can be in manifested circumstances that make you feel suicidal as you observe them but you then feel hopeful (your more natural state within yourself) as you remove your attention from them for even brief periods...a bit like meditation making you feel better because it releases negative thoughts and allows you to float back up to a more naturally positive state.
One final thing I would like to point out, which I'm sure someone with your insight must be aware of, death is not a bad thing. It's a releasing of all resistance in a moment and an immediate transition back to a joyful state of being (minus the physical body, of course).
Deciding to be born into physical reality with all this potential for resistance is the hard bit, death is easy :)
That's why you'll often get people living joyful lives (the ones who feel nothing particularly drawing their attention any more on the physical plane) choosing to die (normally in sudden circumstances) as the next logical step vibrationally, to then re-emerge with a fresh physical perspective.
The thing is that, based upon what I've read from you over the months, you don't sound like someone for whom death would be the preferred option right now if you didn't have all that need-for-approval baggage from your culture hanging over you.
answered 30 Sep '10, 09:57
You are absolutely right in that I have always had a yearning to free of approval, actually I'm quite a maverick in my society and have always lived life on my own terms. But I'm extremely egotistical at some level, my life can suck but I'm damned if I'm ever going to let others know. My fear of losing face however stems from its affect on my mom. She like your parents is extremely old school and a genuine royal blood as well. I feel I must protect her from everything and that's what makes me afraid. Actually one of the reasons I didnt commit suicide is I couldnt leave her alone & I cant kill.
(30 Sep '10, 10:18) I Think Therefore I Am
@Stingray- Regards to your second last paragraph, I mean to question- why aren't you not dead yet? I do not mean to throw that around in a cheap and sort of offensive manner, but I think you can see my pondering...
And (strong desire to know this)- how can you unattach yourself to what people think of you? How can I gain this liberation truely, and not fundamentally in my intellect? I want to be a crazy wizard and not care what others think of that.
Good answer btw. Just saying
(27 Jan '13, 20:30) Nikulas
@Nikulas - "why aren't you not dead yet?" - If you read that paragraph again, you'll see this phrase: the ones who feel nothing particularly drawing their attention any more on the physical plane. I'm about as far from that category as a human being could be...my desires for things to do in this life are piled sky high :) Regarding "how can you unattach yourself to what people think of you?"...practice :) There seems to come a point where you get just tired of caring what others think :)
(03 Feb '13, 14:55) Stingray
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You know, I was once told of a person who could read the feelings/thoughts left behind by those who had taken their own lives. According to this person, almost every single last thought of the suicciders was that there was absolutely no problem in life that didn't have a solution! Too bad they had to realize it when it was already far too late for them.
Beloved, suiccide is a temporary solution. The bigger picture is that you'll keep facing the problem that led you to suiccide in as many lifetimes as it'll take until you finally learn how to deal with it. Which is what you just did! So congratulations on having passed this crucial test by keeping that glimmer of hope going and attracting a solution! Yes, that's what it was all about! As far as you putting your finances back on track, I have no doubt of your incredible manifesting abilities and if that's really what you want, then it will work out. You Are Strong enough now to pursue whatever course you deem right!
Thanks and Blessings, namaste
answered 30 Sep '10, 09:02
nicely said daniele it is one of the trial he decided to have in this life to experiance and over come it!
(23 Jun '11, 03:51) white tiger
I am glad you found some form of solution.
To your question: Yes and no.
In the sense that our soul can have faith, even when we do not.
But your mind cannot be thinking fearful and hopeful thoughts at the same time. Sometimes though, in what we consider bad circumstances, our soul can seem to impose itself more powerfully.
I don't think the cousin offering to lend the money was from it getting overridden by a weak hope though. Quite the opposite.
When we hit (what we feel to be) absolute powerlessness...we just give up entirely. We embrace the powerlessness...and the idea that we can't do anything...so why bother?
So you completely let go of trying to do things through your own effort. Often by that time we have a lot of desire, so things can begin to click into place quickly as we've released resistance.
answered 30 Sep '10, 09:32
You are right Liam, at one point I did let go and just said to God that my faith in your existence has never wavered, although my faith in religion per se has and so now it is for You to prove your existence, if You want me to live, You find me the solution.
(30 Sep '10, 10:12) I Think Therefore I Am
@Liam- I can relate very much to your last two paragraphs. Back when I was in a similar style of 'suicidal depression' (exactly) a year ago, one of the few things I could do with very good results was handing things over to the universe. Because I was in such a state of "I don't give a f---", suprisingly, my equation with not caring and ALSO having a strong desire to attain things produced very powerful creations from myself, that did help me permanently feel better in the long run.
(27 Jan '13, 20:23) Nikulas
I Think Therefore I Am,
Perhaps you can move to a western culture for a while?
Let me tell you this: If you were in America right now you would be in a very large pool of people who owe tons of money. It is not a good thing but they are still living their lives, some are still having more fun than they should be. All I am saying is that don't let it over take you, it is not worth it! It is meaningless what they have put emphasis on in your culture as far as this.
answered 01 Oct '10, 00:35
@Back2Basics your mention regarding a large number of people in tge US currently in my situation is actually quite helpful, it just helps put things in a different perspective. Thanks
(01 Oct '10, 09:37) I Think Therefore I Am
O yes, way more people are living like this, happily! Not to dismiss your situation but some people have much more difficult problems in addition to owing money. You are perfectly fine.
(01 Oct '10, 21:31) Back2Basics
Life is suffering. End life, suffering ends.
What if the situation is really hopeless? Terminal health. Extreme lonliness. No money. No job. NO friends. Drug habit. Horrible living conditions. Teeth need expensive work. Tried counseling and it didn't work, made things worse.
This world sucks and people won't admit.
Earth's future: Ever dwindling supplies, ever increasing pollution, destabilization, tainted food supplies, higher prices, meaner people, less love, less comfort, more struggle.
Big future for the counseling profession, too bad they won't really help, just convince people to accept and think differently about hell.
Get me a gun. This world is a ghetto and has always been.
answered 09 Nov '10, 14:58
nameless: there are very negative aspects of this world, I won't lie, but there are also some that are very positive, loving, wholesome, peaceful, etc. Have you tried any manifesting experiments?
(09 Nov '10, 17:08) Back2Basics
It is not just 1 way. the world is very dynamic. sometimes it gets even more bizarre and some of the people who were nasty turn good and the ones who were good sometimes turn bad! The world is not just 1 way only...
(09 Nov '10, 17:09) Back2Basics
nameless, stop listening to the "News". Throw out your tv set and radio, or keep them for your favorite DVD'd and CD's. No News Is Good News. The World is doing just fine, and Life is beautiful. I love you
(12 Nov '10, 10:17) daniele
Nameless you are in pain, and depressed, this is evident. Life can be wonderful, the garden has both weeds and flowers in it. As what we look at magnifies to us you have been looking at the negative and so this has been magnifying to you. Life is beautiful and precious and should be experienced and preserved. You needn't be in this depressed state there is a better life, I'll pray for you to be released from these tormenting thoughts.
(09 Mar '11, 16:29) Wade Casaldi
Nameless, PLEASE, PLEASE walk into hospital and get yourself some help. You'll find love, forgiveness, and friends in rehab. Get off the vicious cycle of drugs, and the world will get better. I love you! Jai
(09 Mar '11, 17:06) Jaianniah
it is for us to fix it is the trial of the world as a specie! suicide just set you back to square 1 it does not solve annything! so you will experiance it again and again until you achive that trial! so does it change the view that you add end life and suffering ends!
(23 Jun '11, 03:57) white tiger
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No I think it is larger than that. It is hard for us to see the big picture.
We could be so down and out, close to giving up but while we are, there are others praying for us. We have no idea of it.
So to put it another way we are only a tinny part of the whole and while we may be beating our selves up, there may be may others lifting our selves up.
So their energy lifts us when we can't, their prayers carry us. We most likely don't care because we feel lousy, but it is pushing life forwards when we think our lives are falling behind.
answered 31 Jan '13, 22:57
recognize that despair, self-pity and shame are states of disempowerment and self-victimization. you have falsely identified yourself as a victim and given away your power. to change these states, one must own them from within one's point of power, your true self. these steps will help one to realize one's true self and point of power.
1) start with releaser99's brute force method to regain emotional control.
2) How to Really Change Your Life in 30 Days by Raymond David Salas
a. Release your “story.” Your “story” is all that you believe you know based on your past experiences. Story says that we don’t ever need to release the past. We simply need to stop focusing on it and bringing it into the present moment. We can accomplish this by letting go of our “story.” Right now is the only moment we can ever create in. Therefore, we must bring our energy back into the now.
“Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don’t realize this because almost everybody is suffering from it, so it is considered normal.” – Eckhart Tolle
b. Put down your “shields.” We have created our own limits and boundaries, or as Story like to call them: “cages.” No one and no-thing else can do this to us. We are doing it to our selves.
Often, we build these “cages” when we put up “shields” and defenses to protect our selves from hurt, pain, and loss, especially when change has happened too rapidly for us in the past and/or we are still trying to hold on to our “story.”
Story says that “shields” are statements of not feeling safe and advises putting them down and releasing our defenses because there is no danger or adversary outside of our selves. Therefore, all that we are ever keeping out is us.
Story explains that within our perception of danger, lies our safety. Safety is not a feeling we seek or something we can get. We are safety itself. Safety is not energy; it is who we truly are.
“In my defenselessness my safety lies.” – A Course In Miracles
c. Let reality be your teacher. “Let reality change you, instead of seeking to change reality.” – Story Waters
The key to really changing your life in 30 days (or less) is by learning to ALLOW EVERYTHING!
When we allow, we step into the “flow.” The “flow” will always align us with our true being.
Therefore, through the “flow,” we will each be led easily and naturally to all of the things we are asking for, including greater happiness, joy, abundance, etc.
Furthermore, all of these things will automatically be attracted and drawn to us. Yes, all of this may take time, but any time lag will give us each the opportunity to easily respond to the changes in our life as they happen, enabling us to go at our own pace, until we look up one day and realize that we are now living in “Easy World.”
Story reminds us that we are each creators of our reality (and only us). Our reality and world is merely a reflection and expression of our inner self (and no one else’s). Therefore, we should stop trying to change it in any way. It will change on its own when we let go and allow it to.
Starting right now and continuing for the next month: STOP trying to create in any way. Yes, this means your affirmations, visualizations, vision boards, and all other ways. (Blasphemy, I know!) STOP seeking to change your reality in any way. Accept it and allow it instead. No matter what! STOP seeking to get out of where you are (or change it) in any way. STOP rejecting yourself and the world that you have created. LET GO of your “story” and how you see yourself. Be open to new possibilities. LET GO of how you want others to see you. LET GO of how you want life to be (or think it should be). LET GO of how you think you should be. That’s right! Let it all go and see what happens. Let the unlimited Universal Energy around you decide its own path for the next 30 days. Accept what is. Love what is.
Story says that by stopping and letting all of this go, we will enter into the “flow” where our freedom and abundance already lies.
He says that so much of the creational energies that we think are creating the future are actually putting up barriers to it and our greatest joy.
He adds that the greatest sign of a creator is one who doesn’t feel the need to create because they understand flow and how our being truly unfolds. True creation actually lies in acceptance.
Now here’s the warning label:
After letting everything go, all that you have been holding back and resisting will also come into your experience.
What does this mean exactly?
It means that the things that you haven’t wanted to deal with, wounds you have been carrying around for years (in your subconscious mind), sensitive issues, fear of change, fear of loss, fear of who will move out of your life, and all of the things that you have been trying to artificially sustain are now released and allowed in.
Initially, it may feel like all of this surrendering and letting go is not working for you because ALL “HELL” is breaking loose, both literally and figuratively!
It’s O.K. Just let it. This usually happens.
And, actually it is really a gift because your obstacles and barriers are finally being removed.
So, there is nothing to fear ever! It’s all you (every part of it).
The best that we can do is not to struggle with any of this resistance as it comes out. All that we have been trying to hold away also contains all that we are looking for. Therefore, if we allow our resistance to fall away, it will.
Story says that when we let all of this go, it may initially feel like we are “taking our foot off the brake” of our life. Things may begin to suddenly change in order for us to receive whatever we have been asking for. Therefore, we must let in the unknown, allow all changes to happen (regardless of their appearances), and embrace the “now” to receive our desires.
We can’t have our desires manifest and also expect everything to stay the same in our life. Things will change. Therefore, Story advises us to stop seeking consistency. It is an illusion. The past and future do not exist. There is only now, a brand-new moment, free of all of our “stories” about the past and projections about the future.
He acknowledges that we will be challenged within ourselves to allow all of the changes to occur. This vibrational “purging” doesn’t have to be complete chaos. Our own Higher Self will guide and manage the entire process for us.
The good news is that all of this sh…stuff has been waiting to leave. All of it has served its purpose, but often we keep bringing back into the present moment through our desire and energy focused on keeping everything the same. The truth is that these things have had their time and now they must go. Ba-bye!
“If you love somebody (or something), let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.” – Kahil Gibran
On the other side of these obstacles and barriers is all of the things that we have been asking and waiting for. Often unknowingly, we have spent many years “lining up” (i.e., vibrationally) all that we want. Therefore, the Universe is already clear about our desires and knows all of them. As a result, it is not necessary to keep sending out “requests” to the Universe about our desires.
How to Really Change Your Life Beyond 30 Days
After 30 days of surrendering, letting go, and allowing, you may not feel the need to consciously create ever again because when you choose to remain in the “flow,” everything continues to happen naturally and on its own.
In the “flow,” there is no effort. If we are ever struggling, doubting, or worrying, we are out of the flow, out of the now, and not accepting of it. However, it is easy to return to our natural state by letting go of our effort and struggle.
The irony is that when we struggle, we actually create whatever we are struggling with, including the metaphorical “wall” that we are struggling against. When this happens, Story explains that we are rejecting our reality and attempting to change it when it is already perfect. Therefore, there is nothing needing to change.
No sacrifice is ever necessary. We do not need to suffer or struggle. He suggests to let go of all of these limiting beliefs. We do not need them anymore. In fact, we do not need anything. Story says that there is nothing in our life that we need. It can all stay or go. He suggests: allowing it to all do as it will; letting go of our attachments; and letting our life unfold on its own for each of us.
He says that when we enter the stream of allowing, we can remain there by continuing to follow whatever welcomes us, whatever “smiles” at us. He says wherever we are meant to be will “smile” at each of us and welcome us. This is how easy life was meant to be for each of us. It will become this way again whenever we allow it be.
When we let go of control and release our ideas of how reality should be, things will “smile” at us. Things will welcome us. This is the “flow.”
Here are Story’s final suggestions:
Go where you are welcome. You don’t need to fight against or change things. You do not need to change the planet. Be in your joy. It is the greatest service you can do. There is nothing higher. Living your dream is the greatest gift to the world.
Love what you are. Accept what you are. Allow the flow of your life. Be the God that you are.
“This is a state of allowing where you stop running the show. You stop trying to make anything happen. This is the time when you are saying to your Source Energy, to your Inner Being, to your God (or whatever you want to call it): ‘Here I am, in a state of allowing. I’m allowing Source Energy to flow purely through me.’
3) practice mindfulness and stillness to sharpen your awareness. Eckhart Tolle's techniques will help.
Eckhart Tolle mentioned the insanity of the caterpillar. the ego undergoes death as caterpillar, metamorphosis and rebirth as a butterfly. check out http://www.zaporacle.com/card/metamorphosis/
4) forgive and release everything. let go of judgement and blame. releasing techniques of Lester Levenson, Larry Crane, Sedona method, emotional freedom techniques will help.
5) get into the the vortex and generate the emotional grid and state of being that you want. allow it to manifest in time to create the reality that you prefer.
Consciously Connected Breathing of The Presence Process gets me faster and easier into the vortex. by itself, it facilitates shadow work and mitigates pain body arousal. it sharpens awareness, uplifts being and intensifies presence. The Presence Process, Edition 2 can be downloaded here.
cultivate, first and foremost, unconditional self-forgiveness. the state of exhilaration, exuberance and exultation are next. these will bring courage and hope.
6) surrender through action. adopt the belief that "beliefs are easy to change". secondly, believe that you are always in the right place at the right time. third, live your excitement. (bashar)
7) repeat, recycle and rinse.
Abraham's exposition on "Great Awakening & Blending" is excellent. short transcript
it is overwhelmingly difficult in the beginning; practice makes perfect.
check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satcitananda
i define ananda as bliss brought about by divine presence in your self, moment to moment, whatever the situation, whatever you are doing. This glorious presence allows 1) spontaneous and natural miracles and 2) being in the flow, zone or groove. it imbues your actions with creativity, enthusiasm and optimism.
i define sat as sublime being and cit as pristine awareness. ananda is glorious presence in harmonious action.
answered 27 Jan '13, 18:12
all those things you experiance you made the choice to experiance it! so suicide would be a waste and a counter productive thing to do! when you are dead and god ask you why did you destroy your body and lose the chance to experiance what you came to this world to experiance what will you answer? and how will you feel about having done that stupidity? as for money or things from this world it is not you honor it is not your fault and it is out of your control so put the value in the right place you can lose everything and still be ok but if you lose yourself and win everything else it will not be worth it! give to god what belongs to god and give to cesar what belongs to cesar! does things that you feel are things that you should know but are not aware of be glad that you can feel that and remember it! always look deep in you!
"For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself does; and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel. For as the Father raises the dead and gives life to them, even so the Son gives life to whom He will. For the Father judges no one, but has committed all judgment to the Son, that all should honor the Son just as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him.
Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.
Most assuredly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God; and those who hear will live. For as the Father has life in Himself, so He has granted the Son to have life in Himself, and has given Him authority to execute judgment also, because He is the Son of Man.
Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth--those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.
I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me." (John 5: 20-30)
answered 23 Jun '11, 03:42
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I will send you a prayer tonight, I think therefore I am. I'll pray that you will get over the crisis before you even know.. :)
I reckon if you are suicidal, then you are nothing besides hopeful.
You say that losing "face" is a huge ideal to you: could you accept that your huge depression and life crisis is merely a part of a golden success story? Out of so much darkness, you must come out into so much light eventually.
When I feel overwhelmed I sometimes imagine giving up on life. It feels like it could be the ultimate relief. Maybe that's a part of the letting go which allows those other feelings to flow in such as hope and trust.