I recently read the following on a blog: "Expectations always lead to disappointment, practice acceptance instead."
Now I'm having difficult time with this concept because, in my opinion, it seems to fly in the face of the Law of Attraction. When I desire something, focus on the feelings of having it, and know that is in my vortex, and that as long as my vibration is high it will come. I expect it to happen, isn't that the path to manifestation?
I understand that I have to work on my vibration first, but I find the above statement to actually lower my vibration. It just doesn't feel good. When I have a desire and I do the vibrational work, I expect to inevitably have the object of my desire, unless I change my mind about it.
I find this to be a very limiting belief. Or am I missing the point? Perhaps the person who wrote this has observed that they don't always get what they want, then they give up on achieving their desire.
I get the "acceptance" part, which I interpret as accepting where I am right now, but I expect my desires to manifest. What are your thoughts?
asked 01 Sep '13, 20:25
showing 0 of 6 show 6 more comments
No! Expectation leads to manifestation. BUT...we often don't consistently apply our own expectation in a positive way. As Neville Goddard says "PERSIST" in your assumption and it will harden into fact. How many times does the Bible mention the words faith AND patience?
I will concede that a brief spell of expectation followed by prolonged periods of negativity will produce little fruit.
But expectation mixed with a steely resolve, discipline and the forming of good " habits" will always produce a result. The " consistent" application of tried and tested spiritual principles will move mountains.
These changes come about based on a quality lifestyle decision that things are changing, a decision which is steadfast enough to "IGNORE" so called physical reality.
Will everyone achieve this? I don't think so, some perhaps to a greater extent than others.
Sorry if that sounds harsh...its directed at myself as much as anyone!
answered 02 Sep '13, 03:29
@Monty Riviera "Sorry if that sounds harsh...its directed at myself as much as anyone!" This is a huge, important revelation to me! Our words are ALWAYS directed to ourselves, first and foremost.
(14 Sep '13, 06:55) Dollar Bill
I think your right DB , Its taken me a while to realise that most of my answers to other peoples stuff...is just the answer "I" should be putting into "my" life. Im sometimes a little slow in taking my own advice! Im long on theory Bill....but sometimes a little short on action! But im learning.
(14 Sep '13, 07:51) Monty Riviera
When you have the desire, the expectation, the manifestation is on its way. If you offer no resistant thoughts, it will manifest more quickly.
For me, however, the phrase "offer no resistant thoughts' doesn't quite cut it. It is better for me to enjoy something, anything (could be the idea of having it, or something completely different) and then whatever it was I wanted, comes out of the blue.
When I was racing motorcycles cross-country, I didn't care if I won or not. I was having a great time being in the moment. I loved it so much that I went to every single event!
Then someone told me my accumulated points put me in second place in the Southeast. I wanted to know who was in first place? Who did I have to beat? And when I was racing from that perspective, I lost more races than I had been winning. The fun totally went out of racing, when I realized this, I quit.
My point is that it is much more fun just being in the moment. Whatever I want is automatically on the way to me, and I will have it if I just stay in gratitude for the moment.
But this does take some consistent re-focusing from me.
answered 11 Sep '13, 17:45
this is great answer with specific example... when you focus on external (sometimes) it can throw you off. instead when you were just having fun everything was taken care of! good stuff!
(11 Sep '13, 17:49) abrahamloa
wel you learned something important to not loose your focus on enjoying. and to not slave your self on something not important that will make you loose your focus on the important part. very good @Dollar Bill
(11 Sep '13, 18:05) white tiger
Thank you, @white tiger. It was an important realization. Focusing on winning, took me out of the moment. My greatest enjoyment is in the Now. The Now is the most important place to be. It is the only place we can truly enjoy.
Also When that focus on winning took me out of the Now, I was less able to control the motorcycle, therefore I began "losing".
(14 Sep '13, 06:52) Dollar Bill
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments
Hope > Expectation > Intention > Acceptation.. I find imho that expectations comes after hope and before intentions
The blogger you quote is describing their reality .. obliviously expectations don't lead them to that place they want to be. The expectations they have possibly are about what they have instead of what will be
It's kind of all semantics it all depends how you place your belief in the words...
answered 02 Sep '13, 04:17
ursixx, perhaps it be syncronicity with why we are here now that plays an important part
(02 Sep '13, 15:11) fred
Positive expectations lead to manifestations that are subjectively perceived as positive.
Negative expectations lead to manifestations that are subjectively perceived as negative.
Only your own feelings can tell you if you are expecting from a positive or negative state.
So one who experienced many negative manifestations when expecting things might come to this conclusion... which is basically based on the fear of disappointment. Because he does not want to be disappointed and feel the pain again. So he condemns expectation (and often desires too) for creating negative emotions.
But it is not the state of expectation that leads to disappointment. It is the state of negative expectation that leads to negative manifestations.
answered 05 Sep '13, 17:43
oh wow perfectly put!
(05 Sep '13, 17:55) abrahamloa
I will ask you this if you have no negative expectation and some occur not from your own choice, then is it from someone else choice? then should you not have expected the unexpected and anticipated is choice in the equation? would you not say that disappointment then is when it does not occur as expected from your own choice?
(05 Sep '13, 18:14) white tiger
@white tiger Everything we get is because of our past choices. When we choose to don't care how we feel and when this negative feeling attracts unexpected negative manifestations, it was still our choice in the first place. But then we still have the choice to care and see the positive aspects in the negative event so we feel good again instead of disappointed. For example you could first say "I am in a tunnel and I can’t see a way out." or "Every tunnel has an entrance and exit."
(05 Sep '13, 18:30) releaser99
so you have fear of being stuck in a tunnel? and that is what disappoint you? then find the exit or learn to map that tunnel then your problem will be solved and you will not be disappointed. yes everything you get is because of your past choice.in this world you are not alone and some other people choice can also affect your choice. example: war you are not the one that started it and you might not be the one that will end it. and you can be cough in it not of your own choice. you can still-
(05 Sep '13, 21:32) white tiger
make the choice to try to stop it or you can side step move away and let it end where it should end. in the first place if you try to stop it and it collide with you, it might destroy you. in the second place if you side step and move away it will not bother you any more and will stop existing for you since it will not have any power on you. when the one that casted the first stone see the fire come out to burn him he will change is way or be consume.
(05 Sep '13, 21:39) white tiger
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments
Hey Beach Baby, early in your question, you make this statement... "When I desire something, focus on the feelings of having it,..." These are two completely different things. The feeling of desiring something is not the same as the feeling of having it. Wouldn't you agree? I mean which feels better... wanting (desiring) it, or having it? You can't do both. You either have it, or you don't, right?
Say you ordered a new car but it hasn't arrived yet. You know it's on it's way. You fully expect it to arrive. But it hasn't yet. Which feels better... knowing it on it's way, or driving it down the road? Seems to me if you're driving it, you accepted it. Hard to accept something that hasn't showed up yet, right?
Yea, if you've accepted the car, you've taken possession of it. If you're desiring the car, you're still waiting for it. So I would suggest maintaining the state of having accepted what you've chosen. This is what I did. Read this story of what happened to me and you'll understand where I'm coming from. My real name is Jim Shane and this is my story... http://jimshane.wordpress.com/
answered 02 Sep '13, 06:42
(05 Sep '13, 22:01) Beach Baby
Great question, BB, and I am sure that it will garner a bit of debate over the next few days!
Expectation is perhaps another word for hope. When we expect, we hope...whether it is a long-awaited child, or just something that is supposed to arrive in the mail, we almost always are dealing with expectation. It is rather hard to just shut off expectation. It is very gratifying and a little thrilling when you receive something you have expected to receive. I guess that is why we hope in the first place.
But when we power up our vibrations, send out the message, line up our ducks, and try to manifest something deliberately...well, then...Now we are talking about a new level of expectation- which we are supposed to shut off completely. This is rather hard (at least, I have found it so!). We have proof that manifesting works, but there is that humanness which gets in the way. In the wee hours of the morning we find ourselves wondering if this will be the day...In other words, we get back to hoping. I find that this seems to be a very human thing, and very hard to let go of at all. We can try, but when it is something really important, yes, when we do not get our way (or seem not to),all of this can lead to disappointment and even depression.
At least for me, this seems true: Sometimes God says, "Wait and have patience. I have a Plan for you." Sometimes, when this happens, it feels like God is saying "No". But you have to keep your faith high, and trust, trust. (I edited this portion of my answer thanks to Monty's reminder that God hears all our prayers, and the Bible says that He will answer. Thank you, Monty!)
I do not know why, but I cannot explain it any other way. Later on, when our path goes better, we can look back and say, "Now I know why God said , "Wait!"
This walk of ours is not easy. We are balanced on a razor's edge. We are supposed to let go, but we sometimes do not- at least, not easily. The trick, I believe, is to only expect a little bit. My mother always said to expect nothing, and then you will never be disappointed. Maybe she is right. But it is a human quality to hope.
BTW, I find that my odds of success go up when I pray and let it rest in God's hands. That's just me. When I find myself in that waiting period, I get myself to prayer, meditation, and try to let things just be.
Again, You have asked what I think to be a pivotal and very important question. I am looking forward to reading the answers. I am sure that everyone will answer you once the weekend is over.
answered 01 Sep '13, 22:41
Got to disagree with that one Jai! The words of Christ sat very very clearly that if you believe you have got what you've asked for its going to manifest. "If" God "sometimes" said NO....then the effect would be to stymie ANY attempt at manifesting anything. There would always at the back of peoples minds be the thought that perhaps this particular request would be denied.Esther Hicks and Jesus ( same person ) have it absolutely right when they say that the ONLY reason for non manifesting
(02 Sep '13, 03:14) Monty Riviera
Is that "WE" don't match the vibrations of our requests! How can we be told to believe we "HAVE" already received our requests when theres a chance that God hasn't granted them? If God doesn't grant them all then Jesus was misleading us and lying to us by telling us we had to believe we had already received them. How can you believe you've got something when theres even a possibilty its been denied in the first place?
(02 Sep '13, 03:17) Monty Riviera
That false teaching is shipwrecking peoples faith. Thank God Esther and many like her are putting the real truth back into this worlds messed up religious thinking. There is an escrow in everyones lives of requests that remain unfulfilled. They remain unfulfilled for only one reason!
(02 Sep '13, 03:20) Monty Riviera
I'm unfamiliar with the part of the Bible where it says, "sometimes God says No." All I found were the following:
(02 Sep '13, 12:41) Beach Baby
also, "Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them." Is it not just our limiting beliefs that say, "NO"?
(02 Sep '13, 12:42) Beach Baby
@Monty Riviera and @Beach Baby- Thank you for this important point. I edited my answer in direct response to your quotes and reminders of God's infinite love. Thank you. Actually, I did mean that it feels like God says no, but often, when we have hindsight, we can see His plan. Again, thank you! ♥ Jai
(02 Sep '13, 12:56) Jaianniah
IMHO, God wants us to have everything we ask for, according to the quotes I listed above, but we need to ask from a high vibration. I think we only hear "NO" when we ask from a low vibration. Like it says in Matthew 9:26, "And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, 'Save us, Lord; we are perishing!' He said to them, 'Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?' Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm." We have to have faith. (where does he say "Wait"?)
(02 Sep '13, 13:04) Beach Baby
@Beach Baby and @All= This answer was the best I could muster with three broken ribs, a broken thumb, the stomach flu and lack of food for four days. But I thank you for clarifying and expanding my answer. Love to you all, ♥ Jai
(02 Sep '13, 20:36) Jaianniah
@Jai, I didn't mean to distress you ... I was just trying to get you to acknowledge the infinite limitless possibilities stretched out before us. OK, that's not it, I was just trying to get MYSELF to acknowledge the infinite limitless possibilities stretched out before me. I hope you feel better soon! And thanks for your input, I always enjoy reading your comments on IQ.
(05 Sep '13, 22:12) Beach Baby
God says wait and have patience. I think to put it better, more like, smile and enjoy life regardless.
(10 Sep '13, 20:29) Nikulas
showing 2 of 10 show 8 more comments
Statement in itself is a little out of context. Most probably the authors means that in regards to being attached overly to an outcome.
But to answer your question, i know we can talk about all kinds of theories of Law of attraction, manifestation, power of prayer, Imagine it and it will happen etc etc. but at a very common sense level its not good to be overly attached to outcome when its causing energy loss. So anything and any theory in life, overall you need to see where your sense of flow is. I can give 2 examples:
1) i have great expectation, take action but its great fun Example i love workout challenges. And when i do it i try to stick with it even if i have very little sleep or at times i have very little food but this is the only time to workout. And i apply all kinds of will power to make it happen. But in this case my overall energy is good. I love it. When i am dying and have no energy but i still workout it gives me satisfaction and weird sense of excitement. So this is a positive case where the expectation is not interfering with my vibration at all. so its great. At the same time if i dont workout on a day, its not like its end of the day for me. I will just move on and make sure i never miss again. So overall my willpower is strong but my energy about the goal is easy. here i would press my expectation & goals even higher.
2) I have expectation and i work hard but also let it affect me. Lets say i want to get this specific house i want thats on a beach. I dont have enough money and it may not happen. But everyday i imagine it, visualize it. but at the same time i have a sick feelign inside that i need to get this. and i start losing sleep over it, it makes me sad. but i keep doing the work. i talk to realtors, bank etc but its not happening. Causes deep pain, doubts. the very thought of it cause me some anguish of failure or helplessness.
So in this case#2, the expectations i have, i also have deep attachment and its causing me problems. This is the case where allowing is better. And i should say - you know what its amazing house, i did what i could, even that effort was worthwhile maybe something better would come. Or if i divert my attention and some time passes by then i might come back with clearer mind and then attack the problem with freshness. then it will be easier to happen.
So bottom line is you want to gauge where you stand. Too much attachment by common sense is not good, right?? in that case you want to adjust expectation not because anything you want cannot happen because you are coming in your own way. Anyway i hope that helps.
answered 02 Sep '13, 18:26
This quote seems to be a negative thing. It is like saying, "Don't strive for better just be glad you have what you have."
It reminds me of my grandma's story from Italy. "When we were little, on Christmas we didn't get all kinds of gifts. We each received an orange in our sock. We were very glad and thankful to receive an orange too."
It is like in the movies when the guy says, "Shut your mouth and be thankful you got that!" Kind of like, "You're lucky I even gave you that!"
It goes against any success also to just accept whatever you get. It is like saying, "I'm not worth it, I'll be glad if I get anything."
It goes against even praying. In prayer we are suppose to believe it is being done. If I pray and then say, "I'll accept anything." I could pray for a broken arm to heal but instead of expecting it, when I say, "I'll accept whatever I get." Instead of the arm healing, an itch on my nose goes away. That somehow doesn't seem as satisfying accepting less.
Our subconscious brings us what we expect. It we expect to receive something. We have no doubt, no fear, no worry, not even any want. We are confident and comfortable, knowing that it is on the way now.
Expecting is important. When you enter a race you expect to try to win. You at least expect to cross the finish line. Now imagine you enter the race with no expectation. You run, but whatever happens happens. You could run part way and quit, or cross the finish line, either way is fine by you. Do you think you would try your best? Would you have any incentive to?
Expectation is very important.
Acceptance seems a cop-out to me. Jack Nicholas was in some movie and he was at a psychiatrist. He looked at everyone there and said.... "What if this is as good as it gets?"
Don't accept that. We can always have more or better. We need to believe and expect better or more. We need to be comfortable in knowing everything is going to be all right. When a student of Florence Scovel Shinn said, "You said the word for me to get China. All that came to me is this cracked plate!" She didn't say, "Accept the cracked plate. I guess that is as close as you'll get to the China set." She said to her, "Where is your faith? The cracked plate is a sign the China is coming!" She did receive her China.
answered 02 Sep '13, 00:35
@Wade Casaldi- Wade...this answer does not sound like you at all...It sounds a wee bit sad, a wee bit bitter...And that makes me sad....very sad. Let's work on finding that "old" Wade, the strongly positive and Godly Wade, back again...What do you think? It is something for you to ponder. Perhaps you might like to edit...or maybe not. But is this place where you are where you want to be? I love you. ♥Jai
(02 Sep '13, 03:11) Jaianniah
Me thinks your a wee bit to harsh on Wade Jai, Wades as "Godly" as hes ever been !! Hes just lost a round or two in the game or boxing match of life. But the match goes to more than a couple of rounds! He will doubtless come back in the ring with fists flying again soon.
(02 Sep '13, 07:19) Monty Riviera
I was just pointing out don't accept whatever comes. Make what you want happen.
(02 Sep '13, 13:46) Wade Casaldi
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments
Law of Attraction and Being in The Moment goes together. They do not contradict.
You are creating a vibration NOW - what are you choosing to embody NOW? A perspective of Fear, Love, Joy, Anger?
What you create NOW will continue to be your NOW as long as you continue to maintain that momentum of energy.
Acceptance means letting go of the past, letting go of the future (it' s not even here yet), and living in The Moment - feeling NOW - enjoying NOW - appreciating NOW
The more you hold the vibe of liking what is here NOW the more law of attraction will respond to that (by giving you more to appreciate) . The more you hold the vibe of wanting to come in the future, the more law of attraction will respond to that (by giving you more to feel neediness and longing over)
answered 11 Sep '13, 18:34
No, because hall-mark of the universe and everything in it is change. What you perceive as your security—your health, relatives, assets—are actually false source of security as they come, remain for a while and disappear after some time. This is what is symbolized by three lines of ashes on Shiva Linga [Lin stands for destruction, and gam stands for recreation, meaning HE destroys Hell on earth, and brings in Heavemphasized texten every kalpa, or cycle of 5000 years] in Hinduism, which implies Only God is constant. Hence expectation can come true or not—you have to carry on with life. My attitude is: If what I expect comes true, it is good; if not it is better.
answered 02 Sep '13, 08:31
T D Joseph
expect the unexpected. then you will have less disappointment. I will not say that you will not have some because that would be a lie. you are not perfect and this world is not perfect. so can you truly expect to have something perfect? Or is your expectation of perfection not realistic? or is your concept of perfection not really perfect in the first place? then I would say that you are setting your self up for disappointment. now that you know about this you are not in darkness any more about this, expect the unexpected, learn from your error to not make them again, you have free will make the right choice in truth with knowledge and wisdom. Eventually you might have what you are expecting and what you are not expecting and yet not be disappointed.
Let there be light, be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.
answered 03 Sep '13, 00:34
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You are not missing anything...it is indeed a limiting belief. I'd just chuck it where it belongs...in the trash. :)
read Law of Success by Paramahansa Yogananda. THis is the gift that cleared any doubts and bridged the issue about action vs letting go etc. PY asks us to attack any problem, our bad habits or any goal we desire, with full persistence. A will that is unbreakable in resolve is equal to Divine Will. In the depths of silence and meditations you will answers to your course of action and then you go after it never quitting.
He says to pursue a goal even in your next life, even death to not come in between. he also says to meditate at the same time and know that everything is Divine's will. We are jsut a conduit and we are not making things happen. By this way you also detach yourself from the outcome but at the same time put Almighty effort into it.
Because expectations are sort of desperation. It is only natural that unfulfilled expectations lead to frustration. It is only natural that fulfilled expectations are never satisfying enough.
It is "RIGHT NOW"
I expect my desires to manifest (because right now they have not)
That is why I am "expecting them"
If my desires were already manifest I would not be "expecting them"
But right now, Right Now, RIGHT NOW!!!!, "I EXPECT MY DESIRES TO BE MANIFESTED"
"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME....UNIVERSE??????"
IT IS RIGHT NOW.......(as it has always been....and will be....for ever)
Why is my "EXPECTATION" not manifesting?