I started talking to this guy on a dating site and we swapped numbers and so we where texting back and forth for awhile and he asked to hang out sometime, after planning 4 times to meet him all 4 times he didn't make it with excuses of work and or being too tired after work, I told him to forget bout it and forget bout me, but after a fortnight I thought I'd give him another shot and I was going out with some mates that night and asked if he was, he wasn't sure if he was as he had a hard day at work but he eventually did decide to come out and we met and we clicked, we kissed as well and then he left after an hr coz he was buggered and wanted to get some sleep b4 fishing the nxt day, anyway we texted back and forth the day after then he stopped, so I told him if give him some space then and left him alone for a whole day, I texted him today asking jokingly if he still needs more space, still no reply, so I'm wondering has he lost interest becoz he was expecting me to go hm with him that night? And I didn't? I have asked him what he wants fom me? But he hasn't answered that either, I wish he would just be honest with me and tell me straight out what he wants! The other confusing thing is he asked me the night we net if I thought we had a connection or if we could? I said yeah I think we could, I didn't exactly know what he ment though, so I asked him the next day and he didn't answer that either. So really confused on what he wants, what do u guys think?

asked 03 Sep '13, 02:38

Leilanie%20Owen's gravatar image

Leilanie Owen

thanks for sharing

(03 Sep '13, 15:21) ursixx

The question has been closed for the following reason "Question is off-topic or not relevant" by IQ Moderator 31 Dec '13, 01:36

My first guess is that he is in another relationship and trying to juggle you on the side.


FOUR times he broke dates with lame-o excuses? He sounds like someone you don't need. Walk away and see if he follows, but don't be too quick to warmly respond to his advances.


answered 03 Sep '13, 06:10

Dollar%20Bill's gravatar image

Dollar Bill

Yeah was thinking bout doing that, thanks

(03 Sep '13, 15:03) Leilanie Owen

@leilanie owen- what abrahamloa is trying to say is.., first strengthen ur relationship with urself..,first try to centre urself..., means try to stop ur thoughts evyday with help of meditation..it can be done. and wen u will be happy without him.., when u will truely appreciate life..which is "now.., thn if he is the one meant for you.., he will come by his own..u need not worry, :)


answered 04 Sep '13, 01:55

supergirl's gravatar image


Oh ok yeah, I really can't see myself doing that lol, I'm happy with my self, my life is getting there after a huge change from a controlling relationship that ended 10 months ago, and I have never been so happy in my entire life til the last few months, just this guy giving me confusing messages, and really thought we did have a connection that night, but maybe it was only one sided, I don't know, he says he's interested and wants to get to know me and see me more but then his actions r diff

(04 Sep '13, 02:06) Leilanie Owen

at this moment your energy is more stuck on the external condition. its better you get yourself more centered within yourself. Try to follow what spiritual masters say even though temporarily may look like its moving away from your desire of maybe having relationship with him. Even if you are not in contact with him lot of energetic stuff works. So you dont need to think that because you are not pursuing him it wont happen. but right now its bigger priority for you to center yoruself everyday. And from that whatever inspirations come you can act on . but i sense right now it will take a little work for you to center yourself strongly in yourself first. But it can be done fast too. Try to focus on life's beauties and joy and passion w/o him. And get to a place where everything is beautiful with him in not the picture at all. When you get there rest will follow. It might as well be him who knows.


answered 03 Sep '13, 19:40

abrahamloa's gravatar image


I don't understand what ur saying?

(03 Sep '13, 23:35) Leilanie Owen

means you seem to cling to idea of having a relationship too much. And basically when you are at peace with having no relationship, you can have one without all this artificial drama you create thinking about other people's action and focus on yourself instead

(04 Sep '13, 01:48) CalonLan

Hi leilanie, try to listen to Abraham hicks or bashar or whoever you want and apply in your life. Example Abraham hicks says to follow your joy. While relationship maybe your thats well and good but try to apply outside of that for now. So maybe you like to sing or dance or whatever... so then everytday see if you can spend little more time in that area and see if that gives you joy etc... over period time you will understand the wisdom of spiritual masters.. i just gave one example ...

(05 Sep '13, 18:17) abrahamloa

but you can take other things they say and apply it... example they say evryday to meditate for some time and quieten yourself. so you can pick some nice music and everyday do 15-20 mins of meditaiton... over period of time you will see that your Higher self or Source can show you right answers and right thoughts... read a lot of the spiritual stuff everyday - thats what i did .. then things sink in... best of luck!

(05 Sep '13, 18:18) abrahamloa

also i am not trying to distract you from what you want - that is the relationship and particularly maybe with that person.. but i am saying its good to develop this on the side which will help you be more of who you really are...!!

(05 Sep '13, 18:27) abrahamloa

Thanks, I do do alot of my time when I'm finished work, such as writting, listening to music, research on alot of things, jigsaw puzzles and reading. But thanks anyway :)

(05 Sep '13, 23:55) Leilanie Owen

I should rephrase what I said, because all this, your interest in him, your interest in your interests is just a consequence of a cause I have a bit hard time describing, since English is not my first language.

The point is, it's all result of fears, fear of being alone, dying alone, nobody recognizing our existence - the "who I am and made myself to be in this life"...fear of worthlessness, that we don't matter, that there is no meaning or importance to all we have done here.

And so we have..

(12 Sep '13, 07:20) CalonLan

...interests, hobbies, we search for people that we would like that would like us. That would give us sense of clarification and through being loved by them we would feel like we and what we did mattered.

When you let all of it go, fears will disappear. When Nothing matters, there's no meaning, then you're free for life.

(12 Sep '13, 07:24) CalonLan
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments

I wholly agree with the current answers and believe they're excellent points to always be considered, irrelevant of how the situation with him plays out.

To provide another point of view. Some people, many males in particular, aren't always aware of how their actions are perceived by others. In some cases this can be very obvious in social situations, because with other people around you have other people to compare reactions with. It's much easier and more common for those involved in the situation to discuss with one another, and usually make situations like this known. Healthy social groups do this in a productive manner, working through conflicts and often turning them into points of humor or running jokes.

Now imagine a this situation with only two people. If he is behaving peculiarly, how will he know? Are you making your reaction and perception of the situation boldly clear and in a language he can understand? And even if it is in a language normal people can understand keep in mind this doesn't necessarily mean he will get it the first few times around, or that you wont need to try rephrasing yourself.

Also strongly keep in mind just as you do not necessarily always know how to express yourself perfectly, some types of guys are faced with this same problem but infinity times worse. Any thoughts you have of confusion or not knowing what he's feeling? Guys can have that too. Not knowing what to do or what to say or how to say it? Etc.

If you're not sure about whether he is interested.. I'd say the expert to ask on the matter would be him. If he isn't going to give you an answer you like to the question then you shouldn't need to ask anymore. Very few relationships friendly or otherwise are developed without open communication.


answered 04 Sep '13, 07:35

Snow's gravatar image


Yeah communication is best, and I have told him plenty of times that I like him so far, and sent text yesterday stating that I don't appreciate being ignored, and if he has changed his mind about taking chances with me then to let me know please as that is the manly thing to do, he still hasn't replied, I value honesty and respect anyone who is not scared to tell the truth whether it hurts the person or not, so I'm just going to leave him be and move on! Thanks for all ur advice :)

(04 Sep '13, 15:38) Leilanie Owen

from his point of view, though he may desire from his senses to be as close as possible there may still be a conflict with his respect of womanhood. if the affinity be more than from visual see how it develops with time, a possible complementary relationship not just filling the void of alone time. it is not easy when there is silence

(09 Sep '13, 20:01) fred
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