It's been said quite a number of times that we should not care about what other people think at all and just focus on ourselves, such as in this question here.

I know the advantages and the importance of doing so (not caring about what others think and only focusing on your own feelings) if you want to live a positive and great life, but I would like to ask about the difference between these two from another perspective.

After all, these other people can also be said to be another part of ourselves, or a reflection of ourselves. Since we should ultimately just focus on our own feelings, and these other people are also a part of us (these other people are also US, in a sense), then shouldn't it make logical sense that we should also care about what these other people think? What is the main difference between these 2 options (only caring about what we think V.S caring about what other people think)?

It may seem like these 2 options are different, but from another perspective they seem to be yet the same thing, but yet may yield very different results. So what is the difference between the 2 of them is what I am asking.

asked 23 Feb '15, 21:57

kakaboo's gravatar image


edited 23 Feb '15, 21:58

Well, worrying or stressing over what other people think is hardly going to change their thoughts. Your empowerment starts when you KNOW you are the captain of YOUR ship. Changing the way you relate to yourself automatically changes the nature of your relationships to others. The people you relate with when you are aligned with true self may not change, but your presence will probably activate different parts of them as you relate - creating a sense that their thinking has changed also.


answered 24 Feb '15, 01:41

Surfgrass's gravatar image


Spot on, I'd say

(24 Feb '15, 06:22) Marin

@Surfgrass thanks but that's not exactly what I am trying to ask as that has already been answered in the question I linked to. To put it another way, if other people are a reflection/part of ourselves, then shouldn't caring about what they think achieve the same result as just focusing on ourselves? After all they are supposed to be the same thing right (You Vs other people which is a part of you)

(24 Feb '15, 07:21) kakaboo

Yes, I get it! Like you said I also sense that all beings are an expression of the same source and so it should make no difference whether we care about our own thinking/feeling or others'. The thing is, although we are Universal Mind, we are also an individualised expression of it and as such, have much more power in affecting our own immediate experience than others'. That being said, since others are indeed a reflection of ourselves, the way we relate to them impacts our own being to a degree

(24 Feb '15, 09:44) Surfgrass
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

To me it all boils down to the meaning of "caring" in that context. Usually when people talk about caring about how other people think they refer to stressing about, attaching, depending, worrying, etc.

I think that "caring" in that way is counterproductive. It would also be counterproductive if we cared in that way about how we think.

Katie Byron says that everyone is a mirror of ourselves, and that particularly the people that we are close with are our best teachers. Because they will keep teaching/reminding us of what we have inside of us.

Also Robert Smith says that everything is about you, and that if you're triggered by anything you notice in the outside that means that you're carrying the same thing in the inside.

So, what I try to do is to be more of an observer of what I think and feel, and what other people say, etc. There have been many analogies regarding our emotions. Emotions being an speedometer or GPS, etc. If you check your speedometer and want to speed up or slow down you don't make a big deal out of it, you just adjust accordingly, the same with reading a gps if you want to go somewhere.

So I try to notice the nature of my thoughts and if something I don't want comes up then I take note of it and clean it in my daily sessions. The same thing with any interactions I may have with anyone. It helps a lot specially if you find yourself in an argument or something like that, just remembering that it's a part of me and that I can raise the vibration of it gives me my a sense of relief.

Hope it helps.


answered 24 Feb '15, 10:31

Kriegerd's gravatar image


Well, to begin with they are only reflecting the fundamental nature of your vibration and if you are aware of this then why bother with them? Just adjust your own focus to your emotions.


answered 24 Feb '15, 07:17

harsha's gravatar image



@harsha because I am not asking why we should not care about what other people think. What I'm asking is the difference between caring about what other people think and caring only your own feelings, because if everyone else is also a part of us, then they should achieve the same results, should they not ?

(24 Feb '15, 07:22) kakaboo

Okay. Everyone else is just another perspective of your Self. So it's just you looking through a different perspective. So it's going to look different in the illusion. If you were to have a totally clean and positive vibration, you should see this ESSENCE reflected back to you i.e. everyone happy regardless of any other illusive difference. Ultimately, it is just Infinite Self containing inseparable yet infinitely varied perspectives all in perfect well-being since there is only Self.

(24 Feb '15, 07:39) harsha

And yes, everyone is getting the results that are in your consciousness in some way. Same in that sense because there is only Self.

(24 Feb '15, 07:50) harsha
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

miscontrued premise on what
is a reflection of who,
compounded by staight line
thinking goes nowhere

each of us is its own yet
connected to all


answered 24 Feb '15, 16:20

fred's gravatar image


Are you stuck in a duality? only caring about what we think V.S caring about what other people think. the simple fact is that you are who you are. if you cannot clean the inside of your cup and know your self. no one else in this world will do it for you. if you are able to know your self then you will be able to know other. but if you are not able to know your self then you will not be able to know other. to what degree do you know your self? everything start from the inside and go to the outside and come back to us. in this world some will be with you and some will be against you. why because they are learning and growing and some are lead by desire and ignorance and do evil to them self and other.

a simple example to this: look at the internet all the computer are connected on the network and share things together yet they are not all the same. from a perspective from someone in ignorance he could say all those computer are only one computer, because he see the computer do all the same stuff at the same time lets say a critical update from Microsoft. but once the update is done. the user will go on the net play share or download with other connected to the net. if you still think that all are one unplug your computer from the net and try to go online. you will see that you are divided from the net. and until you solve this division can you reconnect to it.

if the example is to high tech for you. take the phone unplug it try to talk to someone else do they hear you and do you hear them? only when you will replug your phone will they hear you and you will hear them.

if you are able to understand that, then it is the same with you know thyself solve your division reconnect with your self and other.

we are all individual that can be in harmony and truth with one another. there is spot that some have not open yet. it did not touch their mind or their heart. and they are still in darkness, ignorance, division and duality. they need to know them self so that they can know other.

when you will have solve those division and duality in truth and your heart will be pure you will reconnect in spirit and truth and go back above.

Let there be light. be the light that you can be. experience and enjoy.


answered 28 Feb '15, 08:56

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 28 Feb '15, 09:31

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