I have hit rock bottom now. Right now I am at such a stage where I am not getting what to do ahead. I lost my mom 5 months back ,the pain is extreme. My father doesn't behave properly towards me, he is very rude to me. I am an only child.
I thought of walking out of home for further studies, but my dad is not allowing me to do that. I thought of walking out of home,but I am finding it difficult. Because my dad is alone. In India it is not that easy to just leave home. There are many questions in my head..like where will I go? It is not even safe to go out and stay out alone for a long time.
I am just puzzled. What to do? My friends and relatives say.. "You better get married, so called "arrange one".., I don't know what to do. I feel committing suicide is the only way. Actually I tried doing that also. But I just couldn't . The thoughts of my mom were in my head. The way she brought me up against all odds she gave me birth , even though she had hole in her heart. What should I do? Please guide me.
I sit to meditate but I just can't meditate. My confidence has been crushed badly. everyday my dad tells me I am this, I am that, I can't do this, I can't do that, all bad things he says. At this point I miss my mom even more. I did even talk to him and asked him that please don't talk this way. Especially when I don't have mom around. But still he is rude. What should I do?
Your answers will be appreciated. love, light and blessings your way..
I know this feeling when it seems as if there is no way out and everything that happens makes it even worse. In fact, I was in a very similar situation of wanting to commit suicide. Everyone seemed to hate me, all odds were against me and I felt very alone and completely hopeless. It cannot even be described in words how terrible it felt. Then I remember feeling nothing. I think at some point it was so painful that I totally disconnected to my emotions.
It's quite a miracle that I'm still in this physical body today. I was really determined to commit suicide and I gave up all hope. Then in the act of committing suicide, an idea came to me. I didn't know where it came from but this idea suddenly changed everything. It changed the way I saw things completely. Suddenly there was hope. It was as if somebody was saying "Trust me, there is hope for you and you are loved".
But the most important question here to ask is: Where did this idea come from? It wasn't there before, or maybe it was there but I wasn't in a state to receive it. But this one idea changed everything. And don't think I didn't think about how I could escape this desperate situation earlier. In fact I thought about it for hours and hours and hours, days after days, weeks after weeks... I couldn't come up with solutions, not one, and nobody could help me out. Family, friends and others couldn't come up with an answer that could help me. So then this idea came out of nowhere.
Clearly, this idea was there all the time but I couldn't hear it, nor could I see it. But I learned a very important lesson. No matter how desperate something seems, there is definitely an idea waiting in the room, in the air that you breathe that can change everything completely. And it usually isn't something that you would have expected.
Many people know that sometimes there is a question but the answer doesn't seem to exist at all. But then a solution appears. And if you think about it, it's quite logical why this happens. If you think about your own life, you came into this physical body knowing very less. You didn't have the answer to everything that you know now. You didn't know how to walk, then the idea came to you. You didn't know how to speak, then the answer evolved. You didn't know how to use a computer, but then ideas came to you how to do it. And there are many, many examples of this.
And always, the answer came somehow. Sometimes the answer came easily, especially when you felt good or you gave up on a question (even if you didn't notice this correlation). Other times the answer took a little bit more time. But always, the answer came. So you might not know the answer to your question at this very moment, but know that the answer is in the air. It exists. In fact, not just one - there are many, many, many possible solutions. Because if this Universe than create problems for you, it must always have many possible solutions to that problem. And don't you know that feeling of not having an answer and then suddenly having an aha-moment? And isn't it true that answers came very often regarding other things?
And it will come regarding any topic you wish if you just relax a little, relax your muscles of your body and let go just a little bit here and there every day. No need to rush, just aim at feeling as much relief as you can by thinking better feeling thoughts.
In fact there are many people that were and in a very similar situation such as yourself. And not just in India - everywhere in the world! And there are many women who let the perfect solution(s) come to them. They open up, try to think thoughts that give them a little bit relief here and there and they receive solutions. And then they know what to do and what to think. And you can as well be one of them if you just allow yourself to relax as best as you can without pushing it and opening up a little more every day. It must not be meditation, just thinking thoughts that give a just a little bit relief is enough for now. And if you feel a little better, you can sit down and meditate.
And you know what the best thing about hitting rock bottom is? It can only get better. Because, let's be honest here, you are already in a situation that cannot get worse. The only change that can logically happen is one that is more positive. So you are in a perfect situation to change things for the better.
answered 08 Jun '14, 19:12
Hi supergirl, what to do when life hits rock bottom and all you perceive is death, like a soldier facing an enemy machine gun?
Here's a text written by Karim Hajee "Creating Power"
Supergirl, first of all remember that you're a supergirl :)
And next - what I love about the solution I can offer to you, is you don't need to leave your home, no need to go anywhere or trying to convince someone to treat you differently.
The power is inside you, and when you use it now, you will be enormously appreciative both to yourself, and to this experience, and to your life, and even to your father, as you will feel, how cooperative he was in creating exactly the experience that brought you high.
How you change your feeling - by finding little reliefs. Soothing yourself one little step at a time. The smaller the step, the better, because it will be easier to do it and to hold it stable.
There is some explanation, some background I added here: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/12873/how-do-i-find-out-what-my-vibrational-energy-level-is, on how to change your state - as when you change your vibration, you change your state.
It is quite explainable, that it's not very easy to seemingly effectively meditate in this state, but you still can have an effect from it - just imagine that you're playing ping-pong: your state will bring you thoughts to ponder, and you reply with concentrating on your breath. Your victory will be in every single breath you will focus on. In 5 minutes of meditation you managed only to do it once? That's a victory, too! Do not blame yourself for not being able to concentrate, just every time you recognize it's again running thoughts, you reply with a new victory, switching your thoughts to your breath.
You may want to use LifeFlow to help you become more peaceful, especially during meditations or going to sleep: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmBCX0OwxVY
Little reliefs that you may think of, are soothing thoughts that you would offer a friend if she was in such a situation.
You may want to recognize it as your first priority - soothing yourself, finding every possible explanation that would bring you the feeling of power and a relief. Just relief. Celebrate every relief, in it your power is revealed, released, freed to create your joy.
Next, your Mother IS with you. You DO have her around, and the more peaceful you become, the more you will be able to realize this. She is in Non-Physical now, but that only gives her more possibility to be with you ALWAYS.
Your Dad is just out of alignment with his own Source, too, and when he is like this, he is not really talking angrily with you - it's his pain, misalignment is talking. When you explain it like this to yourself, you may FEEL BETTER. See - I'm not saying it to justify him or make things right - I'm offering you thoughts you may choose to choose, if you feel they bring you a relief.
Make it your quest, to find as many reliefs as possible - explaining everything nfrom such a point of view, that it feels better, and you will use this situation as a pressure cooker where you find your true Love and Power.
I'll add here a bonus chapter from one of my books - it's a book about financially finding a better feeling, but I think you may find there some soothing thoughts, too. ♥
Bonus Chapter #1 - How To Deal With The Old Stuff - When It's Dark, What Are You Doing? "...when walls close in, skies turn gray, and dreams seem like they're awfully far away, you're probably just forgetting that the same "hands" that created the sun, the moon and the stars, are still holding yours, anxious to help. I simply adore you - The Universe." - Mike Dooley I love you, my reader. I want you to have a fascinating sailing towards achieving whatever your soul desires. And if you ever feel doubts, sadness or fears, I'd like to wrap you in a blanket of love and understanding, telling you you CAN get there! You CAN be all you want to be, I believe in you! When you feel any doubts, please just hold on. It will pass and you will return to the moments of joy and happiness, and all your goals will be waiting for you right there. The following points have helped me to get through tough times, I hope they will do the same for you should you ever need them. Some of them are different ways to see what's happening, see what speaks more to your heart in each situation: 1. Nothing is really bad, we just don't know the perspective: "There are only miracles, - and to one degree or another they all soothe, pamper and enrich. However, to avoid blowing too many minds at once, some are disguised as unpleasant surprises, botched circumstances, and twisted acquaintances that can rarely been seen for what or who they truly are until the pendulum has fully swung. So if something still hurts, baffles or confuses, it only means a miracle has occurred, the pendulum is mid-swing, and that soon you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. The Universe." - Mike Dooley 2. Remember just how powerful you are: "Every thought you think sends waves into motion. Every word you speak reaches millions of ears. And every act you perform literally rearranges the stars. Now, dear... what was it you wanted me to do for you? The Universe" - Mike Dooley 3. The opinion of others is just that, an opinion of other people. Don't let them dishearten you. (And maybe think: is there a part of you that says the same? Then probably healing that part of you would heal the situation...) 4. Notice how you feel and try to recall if you had such feelings before. That may prove to you your manifesting power; you could feel that things are after all under your control. 5. Ignore it, sometimes it's the easiest way to get through. 6. Use your pain as your ally: try to understand where it's coming from. Maybe these are just wrong beliefs you can intellectually fix at the current point. Maybe it was brought onto you at this point in your life because now you can release it. 7. There's nothing to be guarded against (so nothing to fear): "Resistance is about believing that you are vulnerable or susceptible to something not wanted and holding a stance of protection, which only holds you in a place of not letting in the Well-being that would be there otherwise. There is nothing big enough to protect you from unwanted things -- and there are no unwanted things big enough to get into your experience." - Abraham-Hicks 8. See what little thing you can do right now to make your heart sing, even for a moment! 9. If the circumstances make you think you were insane starting it at all :), remember: "Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible." - Maurits Cornelis Escher 10. Sometimes it's just reordering you into another level: "The human brain is the ultimate open system, constantly exchanging energy with its environment. Up to a point, the system can handle all kinds of fluctuations. But if the input becomes too much, the system is pushed past its limits and the system reorganises itself at a higher order. A runner, for instance, gives more physical input to his body than it can handle, and it responds by reorganizing itself at a higher level that can handle this increased input -- which we call "getting in shape"." - Bill Harris 11. Hold on to the better stuff coming: "How we create is like gigantic wheel that's turning; and all the things we thought and felt three weeks ago are slowly coming into place. ...So when you start changing your thinking pattern, all the stuff you have on this wheel is still coming your way. But you are sticking new wonderful experiences on this wheel and the wheel is slowly turning around. ...We make the biggest change in our lives, when we have the worst stuff coming off that wheel... Then we start practicing things, but all this **** that that we were thinking, ...is still coming at us from this wheel. So we play around with it for a week, couple of things go better, we feel a little better, but at the same time we are practicing something new, that takes an enormous amount of energy, concentration and focus! Now at the same time we have all this other garbage coming at us, which also takes a lot of energy. So you can see the situation, how difficult it is to really continue on and get out of it. Most people kind of go along and then they get tired and they let go. Now by that time better stuff is already coming off that wheel again. But by that time most of us have quit because we were just too busy struggling with all the stuff that was coming. It actually doesn't quit, it just keeps going. It just becomes easier once you understand it. Because, you see, there is no limit to how happy we can be!" - Klaus Joehle 12. Focus on miracles: think which miracle would save the situation. Which miracle would make the situation worth it? Can you allow it to come? Klaus Joehle says, things may happen, but if you don't want to, you don't have to feel the bad feelings. "It's already there - so why bother?" Just try to focus on the imagined good feelings instead. [Klaus's method of sending love is of a great help here.] Just remember that you're loved; open your heart... "As you let go of the **** around you, it will let go of you, but you have to let go first." - Klaus Joehle
Now, two more tools you can use, on the website or on paper or even in your mind (but it's better to do it writing, you concentrate better this way):
I use them to help raise myself up from some deep challenging low state. I'm starting then from the Pride Journal, and I list there things like, "I prepared a sandwich for my daughter", or, "I brushed my teeth" - things as little as these are, but it somehow brings me up. And in Appreciating the Day, I can sometimes just list my refrigerator that works well, and as the feeling - that I feel it like caring for me. Things as simple, but they give me strength to do something further. 3-3-3 is also good and raising, and the focus delight (general) is good for nearly any subject.
And remember you are a supergirl :)
answered 19 Jun '14, 06:22
Tap on the thoughts that hurt and make you think of hurting yourself - give yourself this relief, and more clarity will come.
I'm holding up strong, loving, sweet, clear, and peace-filled vibes for you to hold onto. You are a beautiful, strong woman, and I know you have the wisdom to find answers. You will find a path that leads you above and beyond this. There is a way, and you will find it.
I just re-read an old question of mine, and all of the amazing answers here. If you read through it all, I think you will find something valuable there, too.
Love you sweet (((((((((supergirl)))))))))))).
Hi supergirl . Sorry to hear the your father is still being abusive towards you. That your talk with him did not work. You need to educate yourself on abuse, on being a victim of abuse. Now with that said I would not accept his behavior. That behavior is not a loving father. And if he is not a loving father what is he ? Just a person abusing you. If it was a friend that was being this way towards you would you still be friends with that person? NO!
answered 08 Jun '14, 09:24
I will admit that my understanding of India's Culture is limited. I'm a little confused by what you said about not being able to leave home, because your dad would be alone, it can be dangerous out there, or other cultural limitations that might exist. I do not think that your thoughts or any failed attempts at suicide have anything to do with actually wanting to die. Those events seem more to be a way of telling yourself you are not, and do not need to be concerned with leaving dad alone, worrying about the dangers you might face or culture in general, since suicide would negate all of these. Dad would be left alone, there is nothing more dangerous than killing yourself, and you would not have to adhere to any cultural ideas of any kind. If you can kill yourself then you can certainly leave home. One paradox in having free will is the freedom to deny yourself that free will. This is something to consider later though. For now, however, I would like to suggest some reading to assist you getting past the current circumstances regarding your mothers passing and the grief that is causing so much of your pain. In addition, regardless of what culture we live in, most men (such as your father) generally will hide the pain and grief they may be experiencing. It will find release in other ways however and that release could appear as the rude behavior directed towards you. Understand it for what it is and let it go. He likely just needs to be hugged and in some cultures that may not be allowed. In any case, he is more likely to heal if covered by a blanket of your forgiveness.
The link below is to download of a PDF (requires adobe reader) version of Michael Newton's "Journey of Souls". If you are not able to download it here, it can be purchased at Amazon.com along with his follow-up titled "Destiny of Souls", which gives more details. I sincerely feel you would benefit from reading this, as have others. Both are compilations of selected case studies (from over 3000) of his clients who, through hypnosis, were regressed to their previous life and then moved forward through the death experience into the spirit world where they were then able to remember what had occurred in between lives. I realize that a degree of skepticism may cause you to doubt this as even possible, however, I strongly suggest setting that aside and read either one or both of these before rejecting them altogether. I believe they will answer many of your questions and help you to get beyond your grief.
answered 08 Jun '14, 16:51
Console your father with your touch. A pure touch can really help the person to calm down and relax.
The reason for your father abusive nature, is because he internally feels that he cannot access you the way he want. And he fulfill that desire by abusing you. (There could be many reason for such behavior, I have mentioned only one)
Feel that your sex bone and your father sex bone is connected and you both have no doubts about loving each other.
Look at your father like you really want him to see healthier. He should understand you that you really like him. Then no power on this planet stops him focusing on his regular works.
If possible please feel connection of your heart with my heart.
Supergirl.. be cheerful :)
answered 08 Jun '14, 14:19
is it rock bottom or a
that all seems different from
answered 15 Jun '14, 09:45
When my life hit bottom, it was the best day of my life - IN RETROSPECT. I was trapped in a violent marriage. I couldn't figure out how to get out safely. He kept finding me. Then the day came when I thought he was going to kill me then and there. He said he was going to and had never said anything like that before. He said "Prepare to die", so I did.
I let all of my fear go. I had been living in non-stop fear for years. It felt so good. When you find that place of incredible peace and beauty, no one can harm you, and he couldn't either. He recognized that I suddenly had some strange power over him - or that someone invisible was protecting me. It scared HIM. It scared him so much that the next day he let me leave, promising that he would not come and get me. Though that was 20+ years ago, and though he till stalks me from time to time, he doesn't dare approach me.
My life turned around. Not because I was able to leave. But because I was able to understand the power of peace. I depended on that power to help me figure out what I wanted my new life to look like. It was a very scary time. I got through it. What a wonderful life I have now. Had it not been for that one moment, that one amazing new experience, I would be dead or permanently disabled.
Lift yourself up one step and a time and learn to love yourself. Do good things for yourself. Compliment yourself often. Give yourself treats. Break bad habits - such as saying things like "how could i be so stupid" or "i hate him". Just break those habits. They are manifesting what you don't want. Replace unloving thoughts with loving thoughts whether or not he deserves them. YOU deserve them. Anger, etc does damage to the chromosomes. It does damage to the brain. You can be angry, but I don't feel your anger. YOU feel your anger thought. It's painful. Stop doing that to yourself and you will see the way out of your situation.
answered 21 Sep '14, 16:09
Hi @ supergirl
Suicide solve nothing. if you kill the body you only stop the experience in this world and your chance to experience it and grow and enjoy. I already told you that this world is in duality and iniquity and that people go in extreme and fall in the extreme opposite, they are like walking drunk 3 step left, 2 step right, 1 step left, 3 step right etc.... and if a cop ask them are you walking straight? they will say yes i am walking straight i am not drunk. they lie to them self and other. and they blame other for their own action. can you expect a straight path in this world? find the truth and make your path straight. even if people judge on the outside and blame you it is their problem not yours on less you do the same. some other see sin as outside things the problem is much deeper then this. they judge after the flesh. judge not and you shall not be judge. respect ways of other but respect first your own, if you cannot respect your way you cannot respect the way of other.
the same is true for loving the neighbor as your self.
peace lies in the man who walk the path.
on water unbroken you will find your own reflection and find the living one.(born of water)
when facing the rock bottom the dark night of the soul.
use that negative energy to find the truth. if you would be at night and in the darkness would you not put your light on to know where you are going to not hit your self on object or animal? Do not get lost and brake the surface of the water.
if there is to much negativity, imbalance, people around you being bad to them self and other deceiving them self and other, go in the desert (a place where there is nothing to deceive you or bother you.) and find the truth make your decision according to truth. you are the one making the choice for your self and sometime for other around you when they are not able to make them by them self.
see it as a test to test your foundation.
Build your house on the rock so that when the storm comes your house will not be destroy.
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
some are confuse and do not understand but how come He also says: "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."
the sword is truth. with out truth you are afraid and confuse you do not know and understand and have no peace.
Let there be light, be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.
Supergirl, I know it seems hard when you get hit with words by a loved one, the best you can do is know that they are the one with the problem, and when you feel powerless, it is draining. But, I would like you to know that it is your job to boost yourself every day until those words don't mean anything. I have had two parents who both abused me verbally and physically as a matter of fact, I was being attacked physically by my sister and, as I went through life, I have been attacked by many until I learned to find self worth and cool friends who supported me emotionally mostly. Now know your mother will always be there; if you watch nature and events listen for her voice and guidance. Listen to her whisper, that she loves you; when your tyrant father is saying bad things and ignore him and play the act until you have secured your own work and place to live- Be independent, proud, and know, no one is any better or more worthy than you- To find self worthiness- Know this; your Mother, both and your Inner-Self, who is all knowing, love you greatly even though you don't sometimes feel that way. You can connect through appreciating everything you can see or imagine, something that makes you laugh or smile- Your father is not a good reference to base your self worth on and, you could meditate for ten minutes in morning ten minutes at night and through out your day> DREAM BIG- Go to school and find allies to help you with going to college or even find an ashram which you can interact and live. Find a female roll -model and or friend to learn what it takes to survive, but don't get stuck in survival(!) in your head learn to see those who THRIVE and imagine yourself with friends or even grandparents; or other family besides your Dad. When you leave, he will regret ever talking bad to you, but if he does not don't take it personal because family in many cases are overrated;) and just finding one or a few good friends in many cases, is really what supports us through difficult times. Think of your Mother's great-empowering love all around and within your self. Good luck, this is your job from now on because you are now also a very brave adult, and I don't write to any stranger unless I felt I could give my own unconditional love-so thank you for that opportunity you actually are helping me as well by sharing your blessed and beautiful life- Cherish it because we really are all here for a little while until we decide to be reborn into the next great fantastic beautiful, meaningful, poignant, super-duper and most excellent ride that is called LIFE. Warm HUG!!! You will be well because I know that you have the power to choose!!
answered 17 Jun '14, 12:13
I know it will sound heartless and insensitive but there is no easier way of saying it. You do know that everything that happens in your life is what YOU yourself have attracted?
answered 15 Sep '14, 08:06
Don't try to meditate, you won't be able to, with that much thoughts of past and future raising hell in your mind. You'll only get more tired than you already feel. For some days try to stay in present. No matter where your mind takes you, as soon as you remember that you're not here and now, just come back. Remember, don't 'try' to stay here and now just come back every time your thoughts take you to something that hasn't happened yet or happened in past. Try feeling what you're feeling without suppressing it. Fell pain, don't take it to your future. Feel embarrassment on your father's comments, don't take those snide comments in to future events by thinking. When you keep coming back to now like this you'll feel a profound peace, future and past will vanish for those moments. There will be just you and what's happening. When you relinquish the need to control your life, life will happen. Remember it's your fear that is propelling you towards the future. You're trying to clean your path of obstacles by putting them there yourself, by thinking about them. I've been there and I still do that sometimes.But as soon as I remember I come back.
As long as YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING to fix what may go wrong in the future, you're creating a bad future so you can make it right. I mean why create problems so you can fix them? :)
For some days practice mindfulness. Stay in present as you can remember. Just try not to do this for you'll get peace. If you'll think that you'll achieve peace by doing it, then you'll make this moment without peace.
Remember you don't have to do anything. Just stay present because you're here right now not in past and future. Stop creating repeatedly what mind has learned so far. Release control, let god show you something different or you'll be creating same joy and same sadness your whole life.
Also if you're worried that you won't be able to use LOA if you do this, let me tell you one thing you'll need to accumulate energy to practice it. You get energy by staying in present moment or by meditation.
Just watch what feeling comes and goes, what is happening around, without the need to do something about it. The practice of mindfulness will teach you itself, as soon as you start practicing it.
But as I said earlier Come Back here and now. You don't need to practice anything or do anything or attain anything. Just be present.
answered 17 Sep '14, 09:45
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