How can we set the balance right between caring about others and caring about ourselves ? And more precisely when the balance is at the advantage of the others ?

One of the strong sentences that I didn't hear correctly even if I heard it ten thousand times is "Love the others, like you love yourself". I just memorized the first part of the sentence.

Now that I understand to full sentence of can I make a shift to not caring more about others than I care about me ?

asked 29 Mar '11, 13:29

Pierre's gravatar image


edited 30 Mar '11, 11:16

ursixx's gravatar image


The Bible says not to grow weary in doing good. I think that if we give too much of ourselves, we break down in energy and spirit and have nothing left to give. If we do for others as appropriate, as well as taking care of ourselves and our family, we will do well. It is good to care about others, but remember to keep your joy tank filled so you have plenty to share.


answered 29 Mar '11, 13:35

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

That was the answer i would have put.

(29 Mar '11, 14:12) Monty Riviera

I was thinking about a Abraham-hicks Quote when I read the Question And as usual it shows up in my in-box. I remember listening to this video when it was said. I don't remember the context exactly

There isn't anything anybody wants that is for any other reason than that they think they would feel better in having it.

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Seattle, WA on Saturday, July 3rd, 1999 # 27

The truth is we help other because we help ourselves,you might say that is selfish but it really a win-win situation.
The more you help others the more you help yourself.


answered 30 Mar '11, 11:37

ursixx's gravatar image


The sentence is quite complicated since English is not my native language. But if I understand you well, you seems to say that when you help other, in fact, it helps you... I'm not sure about this. I instead believe that often when you want to help or give something to someone, in fact, it's what you want others to give you. "You give what you are wanting". I believe I'm in this state since forever. I want to change this, but I don't know how. I think the first step is to give to myself to be able to be fullfilled and then been able to give to other what they need, not what I need...

(30 Mar '11, 13:04) Pierre

@ Pierre what you say is true When you,as an example are going to give a gift to someone you think what would they like and at the same time you think what would i like if I was them? I reflect my giving and helping a little like the I give and then I forget what I want will come. This is what I believe and there is also the power in it.Because it is what I believe .If you want change something in your life, it quite often means changing some of your believes

(31 Mar '11, 10:38) ursixx

the link is called : Manifesting Experiment 1 : The ‘Manifesting Box’ Method - How to get what you want effortlessly… It is a good read and a good reread too peace

(31 Mar '11, 10:40) ursixx
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Pierre, wanting to give to others stems from the love we aleady have. We can not give what we do not have.

I feel the key might be to love your self, give your self the best you can in the moment, and when it becomes your tendency to love, love, love then you have nothing but love to give to others.

Giving to others when you haven't given love to yourself, means the love we give comes from a place of lack or sarcifice.

Giving to yourself and others can also happen simultaneously, but you can not give what you don't have first.

And while you are giving yourself love, try not to feel bad or discord for not passing it on. Remind yourself that to give this selfless love, I must feel and be this selfless love.


answered 29 Mar '11, 14:25

Nikki777's gravatar image


I am a product of give till it hurts. Well, the problem is, if you give too much, you don't always get it back right away. And it usually is not as much as you gave in the first place. As kids, we suffered a lot and we thought it was our fault that we did not have enough as other kids. It was not until later in life that I realized we were taught wrong. You must build your self to a point where you can afford to give to others. This means self worth and self structure. Mom meant well, it just did not result in the most effective way of doing things. She felt good inside when she was giving to the whole neighborhood. But WE suffered because of it. There is no line in the sand saying when you are supposed to do it. But I have learned that your time and energy are limited. And that when you build your empire FIRST, then you can give willingly and consistently without damage to your own family and still feel good about yourself.


answered 30 Mar '11, 14:29

The%20Knights%20Alchemy's gravatar image

The Knights Alchemy

Thanks for this post.

(31 Mar '11, 08:31) Pierre

Well first of all if you do not care about yourself then it is impossible to love others . the only way to find balance is to love everyone you can as hard and as much as you can. take care of yourself and do not let others take advantage of your kindness. what i am getting at is do NOT take away the things you need (NOT WANT) from yourself or your family. you have to take care of your family. besides this i would suggest that you should do everything you can do to help others who are in true need. if you do then all of your needs (and sometimes wants) will be fulfilled. i know it sounds just too simple but in fact , IT IS! its that simple. when you do for others you will be taken care of !!!

adding to this, the most obvious of answers. Love yourself. Listen to this.

love n light,



answered 29 Mar '11, 15:10

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

edited 17 Mar '13, 17:48

We must understand that to love others is to love God and God's creation. Wait if all others are God and God's creation then to not love ourselves would be just as bad as if we didn't love others. All are God and God's creation including ourselves.


answered 17 Mar '13, 18:19

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

The best way I found for myself is this.

  1. First care about yourself the most and ignore all other people on this planet. Make sure you see yourself as the most important person on planet earth. Make sure that your needs come first...always!
  2. And then care a little bit more about yourself and ignore others a little bit more.
  3. Learn to love being egoistic and saying no to others and yes to yourself...and then care a little bit more about yourself...and more...and more.
  4. If you practice steps 1-3 regularly and it is really burnt into your brain cells and belief systems after a while, caring about others begins naturally. But this time it is not caring because you are needy and your are afraid of missing approval. Caring about others now comes from a powerful place within you. It becomes fun because you know that you don't need other people at all in your life. Because you know that you are the most important person that ever existed and will ever exist on planet earth. You start to feel real love when caring about others.
  5. People start to love you and you start to love people. This happens on autopilot. You don't have to balance or do anything anymore.

I switched often between caring too much about others and then caring too much about myself in my life. The former leads to desperateness and neediness. The latter leads to real love and self confidence.


answered 17 Mar '13, 19:54

releaser99's gravatar image


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