Why is it so hard to love: by this, I mean "Love Each Other"; "Love God"; "Love Another Person as You Love Yourself?"...and so on?

There are a lot of relationship questions here on IQ, and a lot of thoughts about relationships. But why is it so very hard to imagine loving everyone?

Why does love sometimes hurt?

Why do people feel alienated from each other? Lack of Love?

Help me to understand. Listen to this song while you think....



asked 17 Aug '12, 01:00

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 17 Aug '12, 01:04

Wow, a drummer mellow as a bass player. Never seen such a thing before. :)

(17 Aug '12, 09:06) Grace

This is a good question and a good observation of the many relationship questions here. I am sure this will help many that are sad or depressed that come here or happen to stop by a bit looking for an answer. ☺♥♥♥☺

(17 Aug '12, 09:59) Wade Casaldi
showing 0 of 2 show 2 more comments

The challenge is loving unconditionaly. The issue is that most of the world is centered in their minds and they love with their brains. The brain is a dualistic organ and it loves with conditions, logic and analysis. On the other hand, the heart loves unconditionaly and it is very easy to love when You are centered in your heart.

Take a moment, close your eyes and feel yourself in your skull. Then move yourself, your awareness down into your throat and sense the difference. Now move your awareness into your heart space. Keep yourself there and feel. Notice now you keep being drawn into your head, just try to stay in your heart.

There is only love in your heart and nothing else. Learn to walk the earth with your spirit in your heart because the heart is home, the brain is just a tool.

Peace and Love


answered 17 Aug '12, 06:19

Brian's gravatar image


@Brian Lovely answer Brian - I spend way too much time in my head and not enough in my heart.

(17 Aug '12, 06:53) Catherine

@Brian- So true-so very true! When I did what you asked, I felt like my heart was shattered...Aha! thought I. Now I know what the trouble is...I asked God to mend me, and He did. Thank you. With a whole ♥. Jai

(17 Aug '12, 08:44) Jaianniah

@Brian, thank you. This is a wonderful feeling. I was just thinking a moment ago, I know I can choose who and what I want to be...so how about choosing differently? I picked up my tablet and saw your post. Perfect way to impliment my thought.

(17 Aug '12, 09:28) Grace
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

To @Jaianniah and everybody else. Please, do me a favor and take a few deep breaths. Let this song be your background noise as you read from now on. All of the below was written under its influence. And it is my believe it was not me who wrote it, but energies that through this marvelous tune made my heart pour out and my fingers type.

Love doesn't hurt. Ever.

It is the concept of unsatisfied needs and unmet expectations that hurts. Which we create through our Egos using our own construct of realities to our demise.

We think too much and feel too little. You may try to think your way through to the hearts of others, to content or happiness, but only when you think about your thinking to such degree that you realize it is your own thought process, your own conscious mind, that is standing in your way, preventing you from reaching these things you will search to quiet your mind and turn the volume up on your heart.

Yes, people say we should not be controlled by feelings. Feelings that are result of our corrupted minds, they forget to add. They say thoughts precedes feelings, but when you quiet your mind and think of nothing, you will feel that love. No longer will thoughts stay in your way, no longer will thoughts dictate what you feel. It will be your inner feeling that indeed precedes all of your thoughts which will guide your way from there on.

And so I shall leave you with this.

The greatest gift, our minds, are also our greatest curse that stand in our way to happiness. It's a tool we use to create our realities, but realities are masks of the truth, ever changing their colors never letting us see what is - the way it really is. Trapped within our own creations, so fearful of letting them go because it's the only thing we know - we suffer. So to you I say, put your minds to sleep and let the ever present source fill you with love and understanding. Let it touch your heart so you can become the love and the happiness you so eagerly long for ~ CalonLan

Update 21/Aug/12

Recently I have seen a great video, which may provide additional explanation to what I said. Power of the Heart


answered 17 Aug '12, 04:22

CalonLan's gravatar image


edited 21 Aug '12, 02:20

@CalonLan great soundtrack to a great awswer

(17 Aug '12, 05:10) ursixx

@CalonLan Sometimes on my computer the links don't work - would you mind filling me in on the song choice please?

(17 Aug '12, 06:50) Catherine

@Ursixx thanks, but it's not my answer. And is kind of amazing to me, I was focused on the music all the time and the words just flew effortlessly. As if my heart spoke when my mind listened.

@Catherine, search for Henry V -- St. Crispin's Day Speech Music on Youtube. ;-) or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doCf0WYEKho

(17 Aug '12, 06:54) CalonLan

This is beautiful Cal :)

(17 Aug '12, 08:19) LapisLazuli

@Cal-We are in agreement! Love is wonderful. Love is EVERYTHING. Love is what it is all about. You expressed yourself so beautifully! Thank you! As always, with a ♥, Jai

(17 Aug '12, 08:42) Jaianniah

@CalonLan - your best answer yet - good work.

(17 Aug '12, 14:55) Catherine

It's nice to see people find what they need, I enjoy to watch the evolutionary progress of people :)

And although it might sound strange, I guess I should thank my past self too. LoL. At some point, I may forget this and then I shall return and learn what I knew once again.

(18 Aug '12, 13:58) CalonLan

Thank you so much Calonlan...."NEVER" have I "EVER" experienced an emotional "EXPLOSION" like I just did with your post. The combination of music and words, inspired by the music, was beautiful. I tip my hat for your creative idea. I have experienced the love I hear Bashar talking about but couldn't understand until now.

Let me tell you what happened......

(18 Aug '12, 22:00) Eldavo

I saw myself in another dimension? (while the music played) It was a different me. He was warm, kind and caring. Powerful! Understanding!...He saw me and immediately came over to me. He wasn't angry. (?) In that moment, there was a powerful blast from the Henry V music, he loving hugged me, I was hugging myself and I (in my chair here) bust into tears. I haven't cried like that since I was a boy...and "strangely" in my sobbing I kept saying to him "I'm Sorry".."I'm so Sorry!"...

(18 Aug '12, 22:02) Eldavo

he was comforting me and saying "It's ok! Everything is ok!"....my whole body tingled and a "POWERFUL" wave came over my body. My nasal passages felt like they just held back a powerful sneeze and were ready to explode...I'm still shaking from this!!...it was in pretty deep!....I've "never" felt love like that before!

(18 Aug '12, 22:03) Eldavo

@Eldavo- this is what I felt when I experienced the heart of God...never have i felt such love! Never! It was overwhelming and made me cry, too...Thanks for sharing your experience! ♥♥♥

(18 Aug '12, 22:18) Jaianniah

@Eldavo - this is beautiful, what a amazing experience. Thank you so much for sharing this, you have brought me to tears, too. How powerful and profound, I am so happy for you. Never forget it dear, keep this with you always. I didn't know other people exprience this sort of thing too, its tearing my heart. Love and hugs being sent to you from my heart to yours!

(19 Aug '12, 02:26) Grace

This is what I love about IQ....I opened my heart and wasn't embarrassed or criticized!......Instead I was embraced!

(19 Aug '12, 14:23) Eldavo

@Eldavo- I love that too! It's wonderful. Through all my various postings, the people here have stuck by me...It's a great place to come and "talk". ♥

(19 Aug '12, 14:58) Jaianniah

@Eldavo, @Jaianniah - :D Isn't it wonderful? I love this place.

(19 Aug '12, 15:57) Grace
showing 2 of 15 show 13 more comments

As many say here Love and Light. We need to remember that we ARE Love! When you get those feelings of not being loved ,remember that YOU ARE LOVE !
I must have clicked the wrong link when you asked to listen to this song ;) . You are your thoughts and thoughts become things ... and that song Nazareth did never appealed to me and still doesn't
I FEEL LOVE! loud and large, big bangs and flashes of lights, and with a great big smile.. It's Soooooo gooood!


answered 17 Aug '12, 02:02

ursixx's gravatar image


Peace back at you, @Ursixx! Thanks for answering with such power! As always, with a ♥, Jai

(17 Aug '12, 08:46) Jaianniah

Quite simply put, it is because the Soul/Spirit is very unhappy with the situation it finds itself in. I'll try my best to explain this. Love is a vibrational frequency; so high that it is invisible to the naked eye. In our true and fullest form, we are Spirit, which is perfect in every way (unconditional love??). Spirit is the invisible, moveable, ever active positive principle in motion. Matter, on the other hand, is SOLIDIFIED Spirit. It is the passive of negative principle. Matter is dense and has a very low vibrational frequency. "Man" is the highest form of matter, but for man to exist, Spirit must involute (degenerate). Involution is the descent of spirit into matter; the transmutation of spirit into matter. Evolution, on the other hand,is matter’s ascent/return to Spirit; the transmutation of matter back into spirit. When "man" has reached its highest potential, Spirit is in the densest, most barbaric state/age of its involution and becomes more and more gross until it reaches the very lowest point possible. It is literally trapped/imprisoned within matter (the physical body). In this dense, barbaric state, Spirit is incapable of expressing Love the way it was meant to be. For many years I've suggested that depression is a symptom that not all is well with the Spirit/Soul. It is only recently that I became aware of just how true that really is. The good news is, there is only one direction left for "man" to go and that is back to Spirit in its fullest potential. Once we return to our true and fullest form of Spirit, we will once again know what unconditional love is all about and more importantly, we will FEEL that love (vibration).


answered 17 Aug '12, 11:54

crosby's gravatar image


This is because we mistake the conduit of love for the source of love. When someone loves us it is really an expression of God's love for us through that person but make no mistake it is God's love being felt. Love is not a choice or response of emotion but is a constant. When we experience this love from another we feel this person is the source of that love. So when we lose this person we feel we have lost that love. Love is not found or lost but is a constant tangible thing, it is our life force as well. So when we feel we have lost this person and as well lost our love we feel we have no love. When we feel we have no love we are now switched in mind from Life to Death. This is why it hurts so much, we even feel like our stomaches are tied in knots! This is because we have turned our backs on what keeps us alive without realizing it when we deny love we deny God as well. God is that life force to us so this turning away is taking away our own life force.

The good news is that the source is not the person but God and so even losing someone you do not lose love. You only lost what you believed was the source but actually wasn't, the real source is God and so you can not lose the love until you deny it by saying you are unloved. It will return to you in many ways maybe through another (Like we found each other) but what we need to do is allow God to live within our hearts so we get that love directly. Then we know we can never lose love because love is our center and God is there within us. When we open the door of our hearts to Jesus he enters and dines with us always as long as we welcome him there. When we turn away we as well turn away from our own life source.


answered 17 Aug '12, 15:12

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 17 Aug '12, 15:16


@Wade- "Then we know we can never lose love because love is our center and God is there within us." Wise, wise words! God should be our center! Love comes from God. Thank you! Your Jai

(17 Aug '12, 17:32) Jaianniah
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