This question is marked "community wiki".

This is not really a question per se but the sharing of an experience some might find useful. A few days ago I posted a question Stingray gave an answer which completely changed my direction of thinking he wrote:

How about just forgetting about this "ideal man" stuff completely and go live some life regardless of whether Mr Right is there or not.

And now hold within yourself the attitude that no man is good enough for you, that no matter what the Universe brings forth, you are simply not going to pay any serious attention to anyone that appears in your life unless it's absolutely, unequivocally so overpoweringly "Hell, Yeah!" that it's impossible for you to not get involved. Everyone else is just a casual, temporary interaction of some kind - whatever that means to you.

The last line really resonated with me because I remembered that I used to love the thrill of chase and finally 'getting him', having a relationship and then parting ways as friends, I know it may sound very shallow to some but that's what I always enjoyed and it made me feel alive and vibrant. For the past 7 years I had been involved with someone well actually 5 years of involvement and 2 of realizing waht a waste of time that was! Anyways it was during this relationship that all my financial and emotional problems started. I now realize that it was because I wanted to go with the conventional wisdom of 'settling down' and even though we were fundamentally different I was trying to mold myself into what he was. He is a good man but he is practical whereas I am spontaneous, he is sensible whereas I am carefree, he puts high value on religion whereas I think spirituality of more important etc. you get the picture. And because I was deviating from who I really am I was getting more and more depressed and attracting every problem on this planet towards me.

But now I am feeling alive again after a very very long time, I am constantly in the vortex and its a great feeling. I have a new 'target'(for lack of a better word) and eventhough I would love to have a relationship with him since he ticks most of my boxes, I'm not obssessive about him. He used to be somebody way off my league but suddenly the moment I let go of wanting to attract him we started communicating with each other. At the moment I am just telling myself that it would be great to have a romantic relationship with him but of not no big deal someone else will appear on my radar who is better.

I finally understand what everyone on this site has been trying to teach me for over a year regarding LOA. And I also realized that unless you connect with yourself first nothing else happens - good or bad, noble or shallow you are you and you should learn to love that person. If you go against yourself self in order to conform you lose everything.

asked 01 Jul '11, 12:46

I%20Think%20Therefore%20I%20Am's gravatar image

I Think Therefore I Am

edited 01 Jul '11, 12:49

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Bravo to this sharing of yours! :)

(01 Jul '11, 14:44) Aphrodite

@Aphrodite - Thanks:-)

(01 Jul '11, 20:01) I Think Therefore I Am
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I also realized that unless you connect with yourself first nothing else happens - good or bad, noble or shallow you are you and you should learn to love that person.


You got it! :)

It's so obvious when you finally, really, "get it" but getting yourself to the point of "getting it" can take a while sometimes :)

The physical manifestation is never the main event. The things you are after are always just ongoing excuses for focusing that you give to yourself to allow yourself to be more of who you really are.

And you'll always find someone, somewhere who won't approve of what you want or what you are but, as long as you approve, what anyone else thinks or does is irrelevant.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 01 Jul '11, 13:02

Stingray's gravatar image


Thanks Stingray for prodding me so patiently for so long to this point:-)

(01 Jul '11, 20:01) I Think Therefore I Am
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