Besides Abraham books, I've been reading a while from now Eckhart Tolle's books, and all he says resonate a lot with me. Now I am more focused in the Present moment. I realized that I was living in the past mostly, or hoping for something to happen in the future. I feel more at peace with myself and other people, but it's a long way to go yet. I find myself sticking to my old ways still...
I was wondering...How much does it take to make/break a new habit?
And what would be the best way of achieving this? (I am asking for advice in a 'subtle' way here) :)
Depending on how you see it, I want to break with the 'old me', or I want to change in a noticeable way to start making 'a new me'.
All points of view will be well received, but the clearer the explanations the better. I am taking this very seriously!
asked 05 Aug '11, 13:54
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They say an average of 29 days to change or replace a habit. No matter how you look at it, habits become a part of our lifestyle. I reccomend understanding that you are going to change a part of your lifestyle.
"Inch by Inch anything's a cinch. Yard by Yard everything is hard."
Sometimes you may have to go hour by hour. Reward yourself for each hour that you perform correctly even almost correctly. then move out to each day that you perform. then a week. eventually you will form the habit that you are looking to have as a behavior.
answered 05 Aug '11, 21:14
Ha! "Life's hard by the yard, but by the inch life's a cinch!" :)
(05 Aug '11, 21:19) Michaela
Didn't know that saying! Thanks! :)
(17 Aug '11, 14:28) BridgetJones09
I think it will really depend on the habits that you're trying to break and how long you have been conditioned to them.
Since you're inferring that you want to create a whole new you I think it may take longer than just breaking one old habit. If you're like most of us you're going to have to examine your beliefs and habits one at a time and eliminate those that don't work for you...for most people this can be quite a process.
However, one thing I would stress is to make sure if you are going to undertake this that you still remember to live and have fun along the way. I think we can get so caught up in this awakening to our true identity that the inward quest almost takes over and life takes a back seat...we can become so engrossed in the process that we actually forget to live and enjoy life which is the reason we want to wake up in the first place.
As regards how long it takes I think for each individual it will be different. If we were all able to realize the Now moment fully it would take just a moment to step into that new you but since most of us spend more time in the past or future we make it into process. I think you're reading the best modern day teacher out there on the Now moment and expanding awareness, and really once you begin to expand your awareness you'll start trusting more in the process and the right teachers will appear along the way... Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth-Awakening to your life's purpose, was the first spiritual book I read a few years ago and out of all the modern day teachers he's still my favourite.
There are so many tools available nowadays and what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another and I tend to think that we're better off sticking with one teacher at a time. If you're reading Eckhart Tolle and getting something from him, I'd stick with that for now and you'll be guided to the right teacher or tool when the time is right. Good luck :)
answered 05 Aug '11, 21:52
I love that you like Tolle too. Comparing E. Tolle with LOA, as read on a site: "Purposefully creating worldly "success" with thought (the law of attraction) is one goal, while moving beyond thought totally is a different goal altogether. One helps us cope with this physical world, while the other takes us beyond it forever (no more reincarnation). One perpetuates individual karma (positive & negative), while the other frees us of it permanently. "The truth shall set you free." If I may ask you a question, how do you reconcile both beliefs, if you do, or how do you manage? Both resonate with..
(16 Aug '11, 14:19) BridgetJones09
..me, but I am inclined on spirituality right now. How can I reconcile wordly success with spiritual 'success' if you can use that word on this context. Sorry to bother you with my questioning... xxx
(16 Aug '11, 14:22) BridgetJones09
@Bj09...I'm with you and more focused on the spirtual growth. My gut feeling is that when we are "successful" in that area, everything else will fall into place naturally.In other words when we're balanced and in harmony spiritually I think the physcial side of things will become balanced as a side effect :)
(18 Aug '11, 00:09) Michaela
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This is hard to say because everyone is different. We discussed this at work a few years ago and I heard everything from a month to a year. For me, it takes about 2 months to get rid of a bad habit all of the way and about 1 month to begin and nurture a new one into a good habit. For me, one goes faster than the other! The best way? I think repitition, persistence, desire, and not leaving a void. (For example, if one is cutting back on food consumption, substituting that pleasure with something else like exercise or seeing friends goes a long way towards keeping one from feeling deprived and filling that void) Best wishes!
answered 05 Aug '11, 14:18
You are asking both how much time it takes and how to go about breaking a bad habit or starting a good habit. I don't know about time, but how to is easier. EFT really helps for cravings, obsessive thoughts, negative emotions, etc... After tapping out the negative, tap in a positive, like, I choose to walk, exercise, etc... every day, or I choose to eat healthy foods, or I choose to drink water, or whatever the good habit is you want to start, that is opposite your bad habit. You can also use denials and affirmations like those taught in Dynamic Thought. There is no bad habits, there is only Infinite Good, Self Control, etc... He also has one about The old life is dead and buried... If you partake in the bad habit around other people, don't spend so much time with the people. Do the single handed tapping when you are faced with right now stuff, especially in public. When you go to bed at night after you say your prayers and list the things you are thankful for, repeat a positive phrase, in the present tense, as if it were already true, 40 x or until you fall asleep. Example: I enjoy running every day. If you are trying to break a habit, picture yourself not doing it. If you find yourself in a lucid dream, dream that you pass up a cigarette, and dream that you don't smoke and claim that you don't smoke in your dreams. If it is a costly bad habit, put the money, or part of the money you would have spent, in a jar and have a special goal for that money, like a cruise or something.
answered 05 Aug '11, 14:48
I have a book that says 10,000 times, scientist taped a monkey's fingers to a table they then moved only the index finger up and down. They found out it took 10,000 times to develop into a bad habit, after that; the monkey had this habit of constantly moving it's index finger. Each time created a new neuron pathway, after 10,000 times there were 10,000 new pathways in the brain.
They found 12 to 24 times with the pleasure center of the brain stimulated each time created 500 new threads every time; that was all it took to create the bad habit.
The book is called "How To Be Happy All The Time, Creating a Happiness and Joy and Excitement Anchor" by Mark Anastasi, 2004 copyright
I think with this finding theoretically the greater the pleasure the more threads created in the brain, so drugs or smoking could start with just one.
answered 05 Aug '11, 16:13
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