Do you think that subconsciously when we see or hear of people suffering, we 'feel' their pain in a sort of protection against the same thing happening to us? Like if we trick ourself into thinking it already happened to us, it won't happen again? Or even that if we suffer with them, then we won't have to suffer our own pains, like we are paying a price in empathy?

Edit I understand that we are all connected and that by feeling sympathy for others can motivate us to help others. But I have also noticed a fear. Sometimes I don't want to hear bad stories or see the affects of bad experiences because I am afraid that I or a loved one will suffer the same fate. For example, I saw a photo of a man burned badly, I think it was a link from an answer on here. When I saw this photo, fear came over me that by looking at the picture and having any feelings about it, it would bring it upon me or loved ones. I immediately did EFT tapping on it and then was able to look at the picture, but it made me wonder if this is common. I notice people, even in churches, not helping the hurting people and I also wondered it they were afraid that being around the sick or hurting person would bring them a similar fate.

asked 05 Aug '11, 15:12

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

edited 06 Aug '11, 01:49

well fairy princess i do not see or ear people suffering i feel what they feel. someone as headache i do not know who but i feel the same then the pain go away and the person is healed totally. when it is bigger pain(cancer hearth problem etc.) sometime they are healed partially.

(29 Aug '11, 02:51) white tiger

every one gets what they deserve. from the good deeds they have done. experience and enjoy.

(29 Aug '11, 02:54) white tiger
showing 1 of 2 show 1 more comments

Empathy is the ability to recognize our own feelings and emotions in others.

Empathy and compassion are qualities that promote social cohesion, cooperation and helping others. Like most human instincts, they are part of our genetic makeup because they enhance survival.

In other words, empathy induces us to help others, so it's good for the human species as a whole. Empathy is essential for a cooperative society to form.

A person that lacks empathy is called a sociopath.


answered 05 Aug '11, 15:33

Vesuvius's gravatar image


I started typing along this line in my question, and then I realized that my question was becoming a conversation, so I deleted everything that wasn't directly related to the question. So, yes, this occured to me as well. Thanks

(05 Aug '11, 15:52) Fairy Princess

That doesn't mean your answer is unrelated. I meant I wanted to keep the question to one question and not a conversation within the question itself.

(05 Aug '11, 15:53) Fairy Princess

@Vesuvius, Would this be better expressed as: "Others' feelings and emotions in ourselves."?

(06 Aug '11, 02:27) Wade Casaldi
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

There are a number of reasons I could see for empathy so I will do this in list form.

1 . Since we are all connected in consciousness as one unit we can cross that barrier of separation between us when we are worried for another to the point of all distraction blocked from our minds. This point of focus bridges or opens that door block that says I am me and he is him. At this point we feel and experience the pain and suffering of the other. I have to wonder if this experience could even turn into a duel medical problem that both have.

2 . Since everything is energy and waves of frequencies, our constant worry for the other again to the point of blocking out all else tunes us to the wave length of the one suffering. Hence we in essence of energy as spirit duplicate the one we feel for in ourselves and hence experience the suffering.

3 . Since we are emotional and we create feeling based on emotion we can get so into worry over how the other feels to the point of creating the feeling ourselves from matching the emotion within ourselves.

Of all of these the good news is that if this can be done in the negative it can be switched to the positive and thus raise the feeling, vibration and consciousness of the one suffering to your level up out of the suffering. I have seen Dr. Eric Pearl talk about this in his book Re-Connection also from the movie The Living Matrix.

I believe this has to be done from a sympathy point not an empathy point so that no matter what you keep your energy high around the one suffering (in other words you are going to stay in the boat and rescue the one drowning not jump over and drown with that person.)


answered 05 Aug '11, 17:05

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

I tend to think empathy comes from a place of understanding rather than fear. It's the ability to identify with and understand another's feelings and difficulties thus recognizing the interconnectedness between oneself and the other person. For that reason I'd say empathy is a derivative of Love not fear.


answered 05 Aug '11, 21:12

Michaela's gravatar image


empathy is the way to feel stuff from other people. if you take there pain it is because you want to or they made good deeds and deserve to get cure. we are all link togeter in the golden light. experience and enjoy.


answered 05 Aug '11, 23:51

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

But feeling the empathy doesn't take their pain away, it just multiplies it from one person to two.

(06 Aug '11, 01:52) Fairy Princess

well from my experience when i feel someone else pain and it gets away the other person is healed from it partially or totaly. so experience and enjoy.

(06 Aug '11, 02:39) white tiger

@fairy princess-for me sharing the pain halves the pain, it divides the pain.

(06 Aug '11, 08:50) blubird two

When the same person is always creating more pain in their life and think to come to me to help their pain, the best thing I can do is ask them to find another helper. Since my empathy does not seem to help them find a better way.

(17 Nov '12, 09:09) clearheart
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

An altruistic moment of grace like i believe empathy to be, is something that comes naturally and goes naturally in any moment, but I could see how the mind could involve itself in trying to "keep" and use empathy to avoid some possible future event from occurring. The flow of empathy would be cut off if we started to strategically try to use it willfully in some way because its presence speaks to are will not being in the way...empathy flows when you no longer are identified with your own will but the will of that which flows through you


answered 05 Aug '11, 19:23

Scott's gravatar image


empathy is the recognition that we are connected with those in that situation,
it is not fear, which is connectedness with self-centeredness only.
impluses from the spiritual side to our ego are universal in nature as opposed
to those from our physical/sensual side which center on selfishness


answered 06 Aug '11, 00:54

fred's gravatar image


Then why aren't more people motivated to help people in need right in front of them? I think they are afraid to suffer the same fate.

(06 Aug '11, 01:51) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess...most empathic people are extremely compassionate and are motivated to help, those who aren't are generally stuck in their 'small self' which is fear based :)

(06 Aug '11, 02:02) Michaela

I am very empathetic, and have fear.

(06 Aug '11, 12:20) Fairy Princess

Me, Too!!! Ditto!!!!>>>>>>>>>>>>

(06 Aug '11, 14:15) Jaianniah

@Fairy Princess & Jai... You can be empathic toward others and motivated to help them and still have fear in your life regarding your own personal doesn't necessarily cancel out the other. However, those who don't have empathy or compassion for others are generally stuck in that self centered place which is completely fear based and their only motivation is 'me'. :)

(06 Aug '11, 14:50) Michaela


(06 Aug '11, 16:12) Jaianniah
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

I think that you may be confusing your reaction to suffering (fear at first, and horror, even) with true empathy, which comes out of a DEEP love and a feeling that YOU feel what THEY feel exactly. You see the burned man, and of course, you are horrified. That is natural. But what was underneath that horror? I suggest it was not fear so much as your true empathy for that man, which made you so closely align with his pain that you could feel it! Now that, my dear, is EMPATHY. There is an element of fear in empathy- it takes great courage to feel empathy at all!

But yet, many great people go ahead, despite their lower emotions, and heal the sick and maimed and torn-up people in the world...Thank God for nurses, for example! I had nineteen vials of blood taken from me yesterday, and poor Wade had to leave the room...It was his love and empathy for me that made it impossible for him to stay...Some would say, "Wade was a 'fraidy cat!" I say no. I say that his connection to me was so deep that if he stayed, he would have felt what I was experiencing. Remember, self-preservation is a key factor in this, too.

My daughter is getting her BSN at the University of New Orleans. She is going through some rough stuff right now. It is her empathy she is fighting, versus her own self-preservation. I think and pray for her every day. I am proud of her, for at heart, she is a real sweetie!

I guess I would have to say that if you break the emotion down into bitty-bits, yes, there is fear somewhere there. But it quickly becomes a great choice of our hearts to ignore fear, feel what that other person must be feeling, and then act!

Empathy is an action verb, and a choice.

Blessings, Jai


answered 06 Aug '11, 05:34

Jaianniah's gravatar image


well jai say to wade: that he can feel what you experience and if he can't sustain it have faith in god and he will take that burden. and the suffering will stop. experience and enjoy.

(07 Aug '11, 02:11) white tiger
Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website

Related Questions