The question is as it goes. Though I am appreicating things in my life now, I cannot help my logically notice this situation: At work (retail store) I seem to always end up having to assist customers who are ugly, unfriendly, little manners, unsophisticated or just plain demanding. On the other hand, a co-worker of mind, same age (and voted 'better looking' often by customers as a joke, but that gets to me as well) experiences the exact opposite- he is always required to help pretty, beautiful, good looking, well-mannered, kind, genuine, humble people.

So there are two issues going on here from what I gather.

1) At first glance, I am attracting 'bad people.'

2) Perhaps more importantly, I am experieicng jealously seeing the contrast with myself and my friend. Or rather, it could simply be my perception of things.

My real question is, how can I attract better people into my life?

asked 10 Nov '11, 11:51

Nikulas's gravatar image


Instead of judging your customers, appreciate them. It is the customers after all, that creates the need for your job. Without the customers, you wouldn't have that job. So when you see them, don't judge them, appreciate them. Look for the beauty in them. Be patient and loving and treat them as if they were the beautiful, well mannered, well groomed customers you so desire. All of your customers are worthy of the same courtesy, good customer service, appreciation, etc... Try to not even see ugliness.


answered 10 Nov '11, 13:56

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

Love your answer Fairy Princess.

(10 Nov '11, 21:01) Paulina 1

"try to not even see ugliness"- you know, the day i attract a partner I'd like them to have the same mentality. I'm going to cultivate that!!

(11 Nov '11, 00:15) Nikulas

I do not know how many times I have gone into Wal-Mart (as an example), and I am tired, hungry, frustrated or whatever. I cannot find the special little replacement bulb I need for the reading lamp I own, and I have looked and looked. When and if I find someone to help me, I get someone who is not really very interested in helping me because they, too, are tired, hungry, frustrated or whatever! Interesting, isn't it?

The truth is, working in retail is very hard sometimes! You, as the employee, have issues I know nothing about...and I, your customer, have issues that you know nothing about! So how do you "attract" better customers? You cannot control who walks into the door, but you can do something about having a better experience with those customers you do get.

Think of these people as your dearest relatives. Imagine that that little old lady is your Grandma. Imagine that that "unattractive" girl is your sister, and treat everyone with respect. You will have to use a skill that will serve you well all your days: acting! Yes, acting! Act happy, even if you are not. Smile, smile, smile! You would not believe how much I appreciate a smile from the check-out girls and guys. Even better, comments, such as, "You look pretty tired today"or "I see you have a cold. I hope you feel better soon!" will start up little conversations that make both the customer and you feel a little less like robots and a little more like human beings.

Try not to judge people at all. Judging people does no good at all. It doesn't help you, and it certainly can be sensed by your customers when you are looking down at them. In general, try to look at your job in a whole new way. Think of your job as being onstage in a play, and you have the choice of being Scrooge or An Angel! It is up to you. I guarantee that when you change your attitude, your whole relationship with your customers will change for the better.

Good luck!

Blessings, Jaianniah

P.S. My son works in retail. He always tried to be nice. One day, this girl walked up to him, and started chatting with him. She said she thought he was the nicest guy there. He was stunned. She then asked him out! He accepted...To make a long story short, they have been married for twelve years...So, you see, it pays big dividends to be nice!


answered 10 Nov '11, 17:20

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 10 Nov '11, 17:25

Love the story of your son. There is proof that being nice and helpful pays dividends.

(10 Nov '11, 21:03) Paulina 1

Thank you! He certainly discovered that being nice is worth it!>>>>>>>>>>>

(10 Nov '11, 23:54) Jaianniah

The story of Nikulas (wants to) goes like this....Exactly as it is your sons......What a miracle

(11 Nov '11, 00:16) Nikulas

Nikulas, I hope you can change and be happy at your job...and be thankful that you have a job...And then, get the girl!! That would be great! Keep me posted on your progress. All my prayers,>>>>>>>>>>>>>

(11 Nov '11, 02:14) Jaianniah

Absolutely Jai. I'm going with LeeAnns advice and sticking with a gratitude mindset for one week.

(11 Nov '11, 15:00) Nikulas
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

Something that would help, for starters, is to not be judgmental of others ("ugly, unfriendly, little manners, unsophisticated or just plain demanding"). Having negative feeling keeps you out of the vortex, and as you think about it in this way, it just attracts more of the same. I know when dealing with the public it is not easy to stay positive, but if you try harder to be kind and try to think kindly of others and see their good points even for just a week, you will see positive results, I promise!


answered 10 Nov '11, 13:44

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

You took the words right out of my mouth. So to speak.

(10 Nov '11, 13:52) Fairy Princess

A 30 or 100 day gratitude challenge seems impossible from my thinking patterns. I will do as you say and give it one week :)

(11 Nov '11, 00:13) Nikulas

Let me know what happens..

(11 Nov '11, 04:26) LeeAnn 1
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Whatever is going on on the outside of your body is a reflection of what is going on inside. So consider what is going on inside you. Be still and reflect on your presence, your thoughts, feelings, and your body. Also be a better person to attract better people. Let go of the people in your life that aren't adding any value to you. Surround yourself in places you like to be in whether that is a Starbucks, a certain record store, a certain hangout spot so you can meet people that you want to bring into your life.


answered 10 Nov '11, 22:01

kayla2's gravatar image


What you resist, persists.

Find something else, that makes you feel good, and focus your attention on it every time you feel disgusted with those people.


answered 10 Nov '11, 16:14

Benjamin's gravatar image


Short and truthful.

(10 Nov '11, 21:04) Paulina 1

When someone comes to a doctor that really needs his help it doesn't look pretty but the doctor helps anyway and cures the person to return to looking normal. This is compassion and part of healing.

When these people come to you, you may be the healing they need. You may be the representation of God's love, mercy and compassion. When someone is grouchy that is a hurting person. He may feel the world is against him, life sucks and so does everyone he has to deal with in life.

You have been given the opportunity to heal these people. This "ugly, nasty" person probably isn't treated well by most of society, is probably depressed and maybe when someone treats him nice, it heals him a little, that maybe the world is not all against him.

If we treat a cab driver lousy, how do you think he will treat his next customer that gets in the cab? But if we treat him nice even if he is in a bitter mood and tell him good job even if he did a lousy job this has an affect on him to his next customer he tries a little harder and does a little better and may even be less grouchy.

God finds favor in us helping to have God's kingdom on earth, spreading his love and healing even with just kind words and deeds to those that treat us poorly.

I will tell you a story of a cab driver that was the wealthiest cab driver. His life stunk his customers were miserable, he was miserable, he received lousy pay for lousy work! But one day he had become a Christian and learned that we are the kings of the earth, we have dominion over everyone and everything. God puts us over it all and we have a responsibility to right the wrongs and bring heaven on earth. He started implementing this in his job and life, treating others like he would like to be treated. At first it was modest but as time went on he thought, "How would I really like to be treated? Wouldn't it be nice if I was my customer that I was treated not only nice but important? I would really like to be treated like that!" he thought to his self. The more time went on the better he thought he would like to be treated, until he felt like, "Wouldn't it be nice if I was treated like a wealthy person everything at my beckoning call?" As he was making these small changes and treating people better and better he had noticed the quality of people had changed as well, he was being treated better and better, his pay had been increasing more and more, people were even reserving his cab for trips! What was once a smelling dirty unfriendly cab ride has become a clean fresh smelling very accommodating cab ride. He had a verity of newspapers at the ready for his customers to read, he had a cooler filled with different beverages, he was well read on all the papers of the day he could talk about the sports to the stocks with anyone not because it interested him but because if he were in their places he would appreciate that talking and knowing someone understands him. He made many changes and treated everyone the way he would truly love it if he were treated like. And guess what? He ended up being treated as he would truly love to be treated his self.

God gives you opportunity for him to use you to bring his kingdom and you will be rewarded according to how you chose. The choice is yours, do you wish to change others? It needs to start with self change first.


answered 10 Nov '11, 17:27

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 10 Nov '11, 18:45

cab driver story is motivating

(11 Nov '11, 15:01) Nikulas

It is not my story but my words, I remember reading it someplace, maybe Brian Tracy or Bob Proctor I don't know but that inspired my story. Yes it is amazing and motivating.

(12 Nov '11, 02:57) Wade Casaldi

It sounds to me like you are way too attached to the "what is-ness" of situations you don't desire. I'm not saying you are wrong for doing that and I can fully understand where you are coming from with this particular circumstance we humans put ourselves in. I too have my difficulties with trying to not focus on what is type situations that I don't like.

Try as best you can to stop focusing on what is that's in front of you and find the most general positive emotion you can find in that moment and let it engulf your body. As you stand in front of a not so nice person thank them from the inside for letting you know where you are and then grab for the emotion of what feels best for you.

I believe it really comes down to being fully conscious in the now moment and not caring about what happens outside of you. I'm not saying to not care about people, but to not care how they treat you or not care how other people like your co-worker get treated . You and you alone have the power to decide how you feel and where life takes you.

Don't let these people who are rude or unfriendly steal your power. Also don't let your co-workers positive interaction make you feel jealous or unworthy. Start getting to a point where you are focused on feeling good every chance you get while at work, no matter who you are interacting with or what other people are doing because in the end, it all really only comes down to how you are feeling. Put all your focus on how you feel and try to adjust it in the positive direction as much as you can.

A lot of these negative interactions that are happening are just reflections of your vibration. They are indicators that something is not right with your emotions and are signposts telling you to turn around and go the other way. Don't ignore and suppress your negative emotions. That's how all dis-ease occurs. Become aware of these indicators and use them for positive change.

Don't let these situations keep you in a negative repetitive loop. Start caring how you feel when things like this occur no matter what you encounter. It takes practice because we are so used to giving our power away, but in time, things will start to change.

Once you decide to care more about how you feel instead of absorbing the negativity or jealously, the reflection in your "mirror of your life" will show you exactly where you are and where you want to be.


answered 10 Nov '11, 18:16

Cory's gravatar image


well nicolas you seam to know the negative things about people but are you capable to find the positive side about them. know this no one is perfect in this world. some try to be perfect and those person see the positive and negative about people and see things for what they are with out getting stuck in duality at the ego stage. here is the list about what you said about people: ugly, unfriendly, little manners, unsophisticated or just plain demanding. well ugly some may find something ugly and other will find it beatifull why do you need to judge that? as for the rest it concern interaction are you able to know why they interact like this? then you will know why and will not need to judge them. experience and enjoy.


answered 10 Nov '11, 18:18

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

Nikulas you have to get the good looking good people attracting consciousnes and than you too will get better people to help. You obviously dont think enough of yourself to attract the better people so start by thinking yourself a great guy that people love and I can assure you before long people will love you.

Looks have nothing to do with this but if you believe yourself to be good looking no matter what you look like it will show in your self confidance. It is that belief that is important for I have known many people that wern't exactly what you would call good looking and yet they attracted people to themselves because they were funny and wonderfull and full of self confidance and loved helping others and people simply love them.

Love is the magic ingrediant here and you can start by loving yourself and that means respecting, apreaciating and being kind to yourself and never, never being envious of others but look below their looks and you will see that it is not only how they look that attracts others but by how they feel and project themselves.

Change the way you feel about yourself and your whole world will change. Good luck.


answered 10 Nov '11, 20:57

Paulina%201's gravatar image

Paulina 1

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