No matter how positive I try to be, I am always being reminded of the things that are missing. The bills keep coming in, the kids always need something or other. I think that in a co-creating family experience this is something that will really never stop. How do you get around it? I understand that I need to focus on the things I would like to manifest in my life and I am doing that, but if you don't have what you need right now, what steps must you take?

asked 07 Jan '10, 14:33

Roy's gravatar image


edited 07 Jan '10, 18:57

Vesuvius's gravatar image


Roy, this was a great question! Thanks! Love, Jai

(07 Jan '10, 20:42) Jaianniah

Anthony Robbins has five questions that he asks himself every morning:

  1. What am I excited about life right now? How does it make me feel?
  2. What is great about this moment? How does it make me feel?
  3. What am I happy about my life right now? How does it make me feel?
  4. Who do I love and who loves me?
  5. What can I do today that will take me closer to my dreams?

Abraham-Hicks calls this process the "Avalanche of Appreciation". Appreciation means being grateful for what you already have. Being grateful for what you already have makes you more effective, because it puts you in a better state of mind.

"State management" on a consistent basis is the one habit we need to form in order to achieve success and personal fulfillment.


answered 07 Jan '10, 16:23

Vesuvius's gravatar image


edited 07 Jan '10, 16:35

I was fortunate to have an hour with a random Abraham-Hicks Cd today and what I came away with was,I am unlimited,I see no Limitations or Lack in my life.I am free to live my dream. I thought it was very fitting.I am going to give your suggestion a go starting in the morning :) Thank You

(07 Jan '10, 21:29) Roy

I agree with everything Vesuvius and Jaianniah wrote! There's little I can add, but another thing which might help is "replacing" or what is called "pivoting" by Abraham. Replace negative thoughts with positive, right at the time you catch them. This will be tedious at first, but you will be surprised how in time you find yourself reaching for the positive thoughts first. This will lead to feeling better, and lead to a better life and more positives coming your way.


answered 07 Jan '10, 19:59

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

This is a wonderful really works...but I have not advanced to the point where I am willing to give up all my "grumbles" all the way...I would not have anything to talk about with those other people standing in line with me at WalMart...Just kidding...A Great Idea- Roy- are you reading this???? Thanks, LeeAnn...Love, Jai

(07 Jan '10, 20:39) Jaianniah

I know what you mean, Jai. I catch myself grumbling at times too!

(07 Jan '10, 22:39) LeeAnn 1

Oh, Roy...Didn't you know??? You are always going to have bills, or hemorrhoids...let's think higher....a Hurricane hits your luxury vacation home and floods it (which is not covered by your insurance)...your Ferrari blows a gasket....even higher....Your wife, Julia Roberts, not only gets pregnant again, but decides to leave you.....even higher...your bank goes under, along with the 300 million you had in it, leaving you with only 2 million and you see where I am going with this????

Life is a series of challenges. Whether you meet them with humor or with a down-cast expression is up to you!

When my kids were growing up, they out-grew their shoes so fast (I had four of the critters- that's eight shoes at a minimum) that I swore I was going to stop feeding them!

I have a rich friend, and we generally have a blast together...but sometimes, her problems are a bit, well, funny to me...Like her stove did not match the rest of her appliances, and it always drove her crazy. Now, I am happy just to have appliances that do what they are supposed to do...she finally got a matching stove, and she was in ecstasy for days....

I hope this makes you laugh, and helps you to now re-read what Vesuvius said...and DO IT!!!!!

Love, Jai


answered 07 Jan '10, 18:25

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 07 Jan '10, 20:34

+1 Made me smile. :)

(07 Jan '10, 18:40) Vesuvius

You made me laugh too - that's a gift :-)

(08 Jan '10, 00:50) Michaela

I am a little behind the last few days Jai thanks for making me smile as well.I started with Anthony Robbins 5 questions this morning.Thanks to all of you,Love and Light

(08 Jan '10, 20:25) Roy
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Have you ever noticed, there are many many times you do not have what you want but are not aware of it? There are 24 hours every day and I bet most of those hours you don't notice, but some of them you do when you Think About Your Problems!

The problem is we do tend to notice the negative more than the positive, even though the majority of our time is the positive, even if I am just watching television I am not thinking of problems in life so that is time spent in the positive.

So if you think about it most of the time you are not thinking of these problems, now you need to take what little time you do spend on these and say I let this in God's hands to care for, or I let this in the Universe's lap to care for. When you notice those negatives coming release them and go back to being in the moment enjoy life now.

If you are depressed because you lack something, think back in your mind to times you were happy and you didn't have what you now need or want, how were you happy then without this? What was you thinking you must have been out of your mind, you should have been depressed but you were happy!

Being in this moment is where the happiness is, in those moments you are enjoying life you are not thinking on negative things of lack but just enjoying whatever you are doing.


answered 07 Jan '10, 20:26

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi


I vote Wade as the person I would most like to "be in the moment with"- just so I do not miss all his wonderful wisdom! Love, Jai

(07 Jan '10, 20:41) Jaianniah

I tend to focus on the positive most of the time.To live in the moment more often is something that I AM striving for.Thanks Wade

(08 Jan '10, 20:30) Roy

This is very good to hear, put it in God's lap to help you with, just say something like God I need your help here, I know and trust you are there for me and that with you everything will turn out well, thank you in Jesus name amen.

(08 Jan '10, 20:46) Wade Casaldi

Jesus said all things are possiable through him. I have found it hard to be postive with so many negative things coming at me but I have learn and I am learning to stay focus in the postive/happy mood. Connect to God/his almighty power/love always be thankful to God and just start saying thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus and find something to be thankful for and than hold on to that happy thought and moment or realization and you will be lifted up higher and higher through the power of God for he said if you have as must faith as a mustard seed than You can move mountains!

(05 Feb '10, 10:46) flowingwater

Wonderful Flowingwater yes in LOA that is called the attitude of gratitude. I think we could be tested like Job was, i have some friends that one bad thing happens after another to but they still manage to keep positive and these are medical things but they still keep the chin up. I know it would be hard but the rewards for endurance must be great.

(05 Feb '10, 13:15) Wade Casaldi

this answer is so cool. Jedi master Wade

(24 Sep '11, 02:00) Nikulas

@Nikulas Thank you so much, I don't feel like a Jedi Master I am just walking the road. It is the journey that continues on awakening everyday to something new.

(24 Sep '11, 05:26) Wade Casaldi
showing 2 of 7 show 5 more comments

Probably, am most likely the last person to try to answer the question as I don’t yet know what others’ do. All I have so far is…I try to ignore the ‘missing’ bits and look at it the way of had I not come across this now, I would be just the same as I was, so wow, I’m so much better off because at the very least I now can learn to change things, so there will not always be the missing bits of necessity. I look forward to the day when I care if my cooker doesn’t match the kitchen appliances;)

It’s going to take me a fair whack of time [def more than 1 second] to get the hang of this, but I cannot go back now, nor can I stay here, and I’m compelled to go forward which means actively Doing Something.

So I continually read/listen to stuff, visual prompts, read the posts here, aiming for it to sink in [and work!] so that at some point my child will have the full set of DVDs he wants, wellies that fit, and I get the Bugatti Veyron [in black and red please].

alt text

As I said, there are so many more things for me to get the hang of, things I have not even heard about… but these are the sorts of things I do to help me to focus on anything other than missing bits in the hope that by the time I do look, they won’t be missing any more. See, I do not know very much. Yet.


answered 07 Jan '10, 21:41

DivineHammer's gravatar image


edited 08 Jan '10, 01:07

Vesuvius's gravatar image



I love your humility, and actually I think you know about as much as the rest of us. Don't underestimate your own ability :-)

(08 Jan '10, 00:48) Michaela

haha! oh my! Thank you Vesuvius what a wonderful sense of humor and what a lovely thing to do:)) Isnt she beautiful… I am now drooling on my very own keyboard;)) Have a great day Vesuvius:)

(09 Jan '10, 11:57) DivineHammer

First turn off the TV. Unplug the ipod. Get quiet however you may have to. Second, open the back door to the sound of birds. Then pet the cat. Put on something pretty, like pink nail polish or liptstick. But be sure its quiet so the subliminal mind control of the music and tv dont interfere. Now you will be vibrating at a different frequency than when you were thinking about money and problems. Dont take any action until you feel the inner shift of these positive choices. Dont take any action in regards to your problems at all. All your effort is resistance to what is and creates more of what is. That means, it is about learning to accept what is (thats right!) completely and take action only when calm, relaxed, loving, trusting, and positive. Dont concern yourself with the immediate results. You're not really letting go and allowing if you're judging it. Yes, you say it just got worse and you're freaking out and upset again. Go back to petting the cat, looking at your childrens pictures, being thankful for this website and info and keep petting the cat until you feel in tune -from within- with your divinity. If it feels scary for you at first its just cuz we're used to the noise. If you are tempted to make some noise cuz thats comfortable for you then try to resist that as the new vibration needs a chance to expand and solidify. This is being the change you want to see in the world. It changes everything.


answered 05 Feb '10, 05:41

jackie's gravatar image


I'm not sure what Roy's wife and kids would think of him wearing pink nail polish and lipstick. :)

(05 Feb '10, 06:44) Stingray

Substitute the nail polish to doing a hobby or something you really like doing that really makes you feel happy, calm and serene inside Roy.I think jackie was just trying to get to be be in a calm happy mood which would put you in a higher vibrational frequency Roy.

(05 Feb '10, 10:25) flowingwater

I would'nt dare touch their nail polish,they clearly drew the line at their dresses :) Thanks Jackie

(14 Feb '10, 15:44) Roy
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

The fastest way to stop focusing on lack in your life is to truly know that what you focus on, YOU CREATE for yourself over and over again! If you focused on getting into car accidents, guess what? that is exactly what would happen!

Our lives are a reflection (an outward manifestation) of what we think about most or all of the time!

If you want to change this, you MUST change your thinking by working at changing your thinking. When you notice yourself beginning to obsess on lack, remind yourself of what you are instead grateful for. When you find yourself jealous because someone has something that you don't CELEBRATE this person because this means that if they could get it, you can to!!

What most of us forget is that we can control our minds AND by doing that, we control our reality. However, from a very early age, we are taught and then reminded that everything is out of our hands unless we acquire huge material wealth...WRONG! We are energy and we vibrate at a certain frequency...just like when you are trying to tune into your favorite radio station, you must decide to vibrate at the highest possible frequency and then keep focused on that so that you can create a clear and beautiful life.

If you kept changing the radio dial, you would never tune into anything. That is the same with creating your reality. You must decide what it is that you want, be very clear about it and then focus your thoughts and visualizations on that.

Finally, you must then allow the Universe to do its work and figure out how it will bring what you want to you. So, even if you don't know how you will pay for that home you have created in your mind and visualized, you must TRUST that the Universe knows how!

If at first, you don't succeed at this, keep trying and keep practicing. Thomas Edison tried numerous ways to make a light bulb and many said he failed many times. He never believed that, instead he believed he learned numerous ways NOT to make a light bulb!! In other words, he was never defeated in his quest...THAT is how you stop focusing on lack or failure.


answered 14 Feb '10, 22:44

Awaken%20to%20Spirit's gravatar image

Awaken to Spirit

Do you have a job? Many people out there do not have a job, and cannot pay their monthly bills, because the are not working. Some people becomes homeless because they do not have a job, and cannot rent a place to live; and I can go on and on.

So my friend be thanful that you can pay your bills, and that you are in a position to pay your monthly bills. There is an old saying: be thankful for small mercies, if God would provide for the bird in the air, he would provide for his children, the bible teaches, that we should not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. Also it is said, that good things come to those who wait.

So, do not be hasty, have faith as a grain of mustard seed, and be thankful for what you already have. I can think of many many people who cannot pay their monthly bills, and who would very happy to be in your position whereby they can pay their bills. So, be grateful for what you have now, and what you can do now! As they say: "Patience is Virtue."


answered 07 Jan '10, 20:34

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦

I started a new business in March and I was out delivering pizzas tonight so I might be able to feed my kids and keep my house.I Am grateful for all my blessings thank you.I Am thankful for the ability to work.

(08 Jan '10, 03:03) Roy

I can relate to your problems. I myself have four children, I have sacrificde my career in order for my husband to build his own buisness, wich means that I waitressed for many years working at night and stayed home with the kids in the day. Now I work a full-time energy depleting, physically and emotionally challenging job, working with autistic adolescent boys and I am drained when I come home to my four kids and demanding husband who wants not only a consistant dinner but a full-course dinner almost every night!, and bills and food supplies, and cleaning and laundry etc. etc. While everyone else lounges, so not only am I overwhelmed, I am also frustrated. My survival depends upon emotions, if I allow myself to THINK negatively about my situation I obsess on it and drown in frustration and anger and resentment. I do not want to live my life this way, so I look at things in an objective way. If the house dose not get cleaned the way that I want oh well, if I don't cook dinner EVERY night or have a gormet meal OH WELL! I will not expect myself to go beyond my capacity and cause myself further damage mentally and physically ( stress) striving for things that are consistant and never in completion- it's daily life! It is also a waist of time and energy. I'm not saying don't clean your house or pay your bills, but I am saying do what you can and it is ok to take a break and if anyone dissagrees, do what I do and tell them if they don't like the way it's being done they can do it themselves! Relax, everything works out, you can't control everything, learn to let go a little, everything will be ok.


answered 05 Feb '10, 02:33

sherri's gravatar image


If i might interject without offending you? Is it possiable for you to remind your husband of what you have done and gone without to further his business and now you need his help around the house maybe he could clean some and prepare a gormet meal or a good dinner sometimes. Maybe run your bath water and let you calm down and fill back up with energy before lunch. Have the children to help clean up as well.This is just a thought but maybe you could change jobs where it want be as energy draining as this one. If you can communicate your feeling and emotions to your other half he will help more

(05 Feb '10, 10:35) flowingwater

I know it is hard first hand to stop focusing on your lack, on your needs, on your wants and if it has gone on for such a long time no matter how long and hard you have worked it will get you down. But I have always had my faith in God and Jesus Christ so they have substained me. Now I have learn that we are to learn to think postive thoughts and don't doubt God which means we are connected to him through our soul which is fused in God.

It is hard to be happy but we must learn to manufactor our own happiness within our own selves. Happiness come from within and expands outward to others and we can be so happy and feeling so good that whom ever is around us will catch a ride on our coat tail and ride a while laughing and feeling good on the inside and smiling on the outside and lightens our face and brightens our eyes.

Than through the power of God and our own personal spiritual worth we climb up the happiness ladder to success, peace, happiness, good health, love, business blessing.

I am practicing and learning to think postive and to be happy anyway reguardless of the problems and the bills through the power of Jesus Christ and our mind to think postive and our tongue to speak postive things for our selves and others.

We must always pray for ourselves and others as well and when we are able we need to help others the best we can in the way we can. Some things don't cost a thing to help. SAying a kind word, uplifting people, helping an old lady or man across the street, helping a child to read, helping a young person giving him or her motivation to continue on in school or college and if we have some money we can help with that would be great as well. Which will make you feel good to help someone else. Sometimes you help us and you don't even realize you have done this but they are so thankful and appreciate to this.


answered 05 Feb '10, 11:12

flowingwater's gravatar image


we as normal human beings with weak minds always need something to hold on to, as if to cling to something. but when we dont always give some work to the mind, it starts working on its own. this is one reason why negative thoughts come. another reason why thoughts of lack come is that we have weak concentration power. so as of now, we are at the mercy of our minds. if the mind chooses to focus on the positive, thats what happens. if the mind chooses to focus on the negative, thats what happens. here, if it was really our mind, then why is it not listening to us? this is where concentration comes and helps. it gives power to us to actively focus our minds on what we want, and not wait for the mind itself to choose when to do it. when you have a strong concentration power, if ever the mind focuses on the lack, you can immediately bring it back and make it focus on the imagination, affirmation. and it will not be able to fight back.


answered 29 Aug '11, 07:03

abhishek%20mishra's gravatar image

abhishek mishra

I've been interested for quite some time on the power of affirmations and subliminal messaging . Whilst cruising the net looking for a link to "speaking things into existance " I came across "Afformations " , mmm , misprint thinks I , so I followed it and what an eye opener about the way we have all been taught to affirm positives !

Noah St James gives you a different spin and his followers have nothing but praise for his info . So on that note I think you will find this very helpfull , here's a link to a free download of his book ......Enjoy .....Love and Enlightenment ♥♥♥


answered 08 Jan '13, 00:03

Starlight's gravatar image


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