I have had surgery on my right leg, and it developed a hematoma which created a large hole below the surface of my right leg. Then yesterday, I broke my left foot. I am hobbling around like a drunken sailor on a tossing ship deck! Is there something I am doing wrong, or is it just bad luck on my part that this happened to me? I should mention that I have been fighting a flesh-eating bacteria in my right leg for a year now...

I really do not believe that I am doing this to myself, but sometimes, I wonder....This goes back to my question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?". Please be kind- I do not need to hear that I deliberately asked for this!

Blessings to all, Jai

See my update on this subject below!

asked 05 Feb '10, 16:24

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 21 Feb '12, 12:34

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Hi Jai,

Sorry to hear about your continuing problems.

We've exchanged views on this topic before - and you know what they are - so I won't bore you with another rehashed version of my usual answer.

But I do want you to know something.

A number of years ago, I considered my life to be a disaster. I didn't have health-related problems. My particular "issue" was something else and it's not really important what it was.

Needless to say, my entire life revolved around my issue. It would be the last thing on my mind at night and the first thing on my mind in the morning.

I spoke about it to everyone who would listen - and I would speak about it endlessly. I didn't realize it at the time but people were actually avoiding me because I only ever spoke about my issue to them. Soon people were avoiding me so much that there was no-one left to speak to.

In the end, I became very lonely and extremely depressed...and, to add insult to injury (it seemed), I also still had my issue.

This situation went on for years and years - and it started me on a quest to find out why I was seemingly being tortured in this lifetime. For years, I believed I had done something evil in previous lifetimes, or something like that, and I wanted to know what I could have done that could have deserved so much bad karma.

My search for the resolution to my issue took me through almost every school of thought that exists and ate up a huge amount of money as I paid anyone and everyone who seemed to be able to shed some light on why things were going so wrong for me. But no-one seemed to give me a straight answer.

I was determined to find out why I was being singled out in this life or I would die trying. It was going to be one or the other...win or die. That's how determined I was to get to the bottom of this.

Then one day, years later, I went to the house of a new friend. I didn't go there for any particular reason but she was quite psychically gifted and, as soon as I entered the house, she said there was an eight-feet-tall "being of light" (as she termed it) who had come in the house with me and wanted to give me something. (I'm not psychically gifted enough to see such things myself).

I had been to psychic mediums before and was becoming quite resentful of them by then because all their answers seemed so vague and imprecise. And they would never clearly explain to me (it seemed) why this issue in my life of disaster was still there.

But this "being of light", that only my psychic friend could see, did something quite unusual.

My friend told me that it did a very simple gesture that it wanted her to tell me about.

The gesture was simply to move it's cupped hands down to its heart area and offer it to me, as though it was offering its heart to me. My friend told me it was as though that "being of light" was trying to say "look in your heart".

It was a stunning message to me at the time. All my life, I had always assumed something out there was forcing this issue into my life and this was the first time I had ever even considered that I might be doing it to myself.

Over the next few years, I went on a relentless - and I mean relentless - search to understand exactly how I could be doing all this to myself. I had so much desire and determination to find out the truth that I would let nothing stand in my way.

Pretty much everything I write on this website, that others sometimes seem to benefit from, I know only because of that search.

Years later and having grown much wiser as the result of my search, my issue is long gone and I live a happy, joyful and abundant life.

And when I look back at what I've learned in my life (and am able to share with others) as a result of that issue, I have immense gratitude for going through all that pain and struggle.

And now it's clear to me that I was being told again and again through different forms of communication (some from within myself and some from others) that I was doing it all to myself. But only that unusual gesture from that "being of light" finally got through to me.

I just thought I would share that little story. Take from it whatever you wish, or nothing at all.

Hope you feel better soon.


answered 05 Feb '10, 18:10

Stingray's gravatar image



Like Michaela, I would like to thank Stingray for sharing his story. And Jai, I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I hope it will pass soon and you'll be on your way to healing and happiness.

(05 Feb '10, 19:39) LeeAnn 1

I've come to this late (almost a year in fact) but this is an extraordinary story. Something about it really resonates with me. It's also nice to know a little something about you. :)

(29 Dec '10, 21:50) aquamarine

@Aquamarine - I think all of us have our own "story" that has given us the gift of seeing things a little differently to the rest of the crowd of humanity. That's why we are interested in these subjects :)

(30 Dec '10, 11:45) Stingray

Stingray, I finally GET IT!!! I have come out the other side...just as you did long ago! Thank you so much for planting this "little" seed of a story that bore so much fruit over a year later. Thank you, too, for sharing your wisdom with us here. I only hope that I will now sleep deeply and easily for the first time in my life, knowing that FINALLY, I really deserve just to be happy! Many, Many thanks and blessings, Jai

(10 Jul '11, 19:44) Jaianniah

@Jai - Yes, you do deserve to be happy, as everyone on this planet deserves to be. I'm glad this information was helpful to you, and I hope you get better soon :)

(11 Jul '11, 06:58) Stingray

Beautiful. Everyone on the website is greatful for all your knowledge you are even continuing to share and expand on to this day. Thankyou

(21 Feb '12, 07:04) Nikulas

@Stingray, how did this issue come about to be non issue? It seems a lot like what I experience with how I am feeling and having it as first and last thought of the day. How do you go about changing belief system that seems so magnanimous and having so many different branches that it affects every aspect of life? My desire around this issue, in addition for it to be non issue for me is that it be non issue for others as well (significant other!). How do I deal with this?

(24 Feb '13, 13:05) dreamersmiles

@Stingray, I feel I can with work turn it around for myself, but when I think about others that I want to be accepted by and be part of my life I don't see how I could do it. This desire feels as if it is stalling my life and if only this issue would resolve and I would have these people in my life, my life would be so much better and I would than be able to give myself permission to look forward, but until then life seems useless. I have a fear that this wouldn't happen, how do I deal with it?

(24 Feb '13, 13:09) dreamersmiles

@Stingray, I love this old post. Great story. Very timely that this should resurface for me at this moment. :) Any idea if your "being of light" is still following you around?

(27 Feb '13, 03:20) Grace

@Grace @dreamersmiles Oops. Sorry. Didn't notice you'd made comments here until now

(10 Oct '13, 18:49) Stingray

@Grace -"Any idea if your being of light is still following you around?" - That one was called Gabriel I believe: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/7306#7310 Don't know if he still has nothing better to do :) I've had all kinds of things following me around and don't pay much attention really: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/201#3687 I've always suspected it's because of the "hot" energy I used to give off which seems to attract them. I've been learning how to run "cooler" over...

(10 Oct '13, 18:57) Stingray

@Grace - ...recent times and I'm getting pretty good at it now so all these "things" have probably all got bored and gone off to follow someone else instead :)

(10 Oct '13, 18:58) Stingray

@dreamersmiles - "how did this issue come about to be non issue?" - I don't think the way I eventually resolved that would be of much value to you because the methods I (and others) have shared on IQ are far, far more powerful and quick & easy to apply. In those days, I had to do stuff the hard way and by myself. There just wasn't the knowledge available in those days as the internet has now manifested. If I was resolving such an issue today, I would either apply Manifesting Experiment 4 or 2.

(10 Oct '13, 19:05) Stingray

@Stingray - Thanks! I miss the email notifications so much. I'm glad I found your comments in just a few days, but it makes me wonder how many others I haven't seen... "Hot" energy you used to give off? Meaning the intense search for answers you describe maybe? That makes a lot of sense, when I think of it - that folks followed you around in order to assist in your quest...

(17 Oct '13, 14:10) Grace

...but would naturally get bored with how well aligned you are nowadays. You can't be very interesting to anyone wanting to help you! :)

(17 Oct '13, 14:10) Grace

@Grace - No, I mean "Hot" energy in the sense of it feeling Hot :) There's only one energy that pervades everything ( "Use The Force, Luke :) " ) but when we run it hot it takes on certain characteristics within us (often expressed in a "sexual" way) and when we run it cool, we attribute it with more "spiritual" qualities.

(04 Nov '13, 03:42) Stingray

@Stingray, This is quite inspiring, thank you! It's amazing how tranformative life can be when we take 100% responsibility for our lives.

(15 Nov '13, 14:22) figure8shape
showing 2 of 17 show 15 more comments

Hi Jai,

You may want to consider some other things then the obvious ones that are happening in your life or more important in your head (and please do not take this wrong). We are what we think about and yes we do create consciously or not, things and events in our lives. Most of the time the physical discomfort or disease is the manifestation of our fears and feelings of the "inside". For example legs are the - carry us forward in life- if you have problems with them it may have something to do with it maybe you are not so sure about the future or afraid of it? Feet are the representation of understanding of ourselves and others and breaking of bones are possible rebelling against authority. Please don't get angry but if you do maybe there is something to think about. You can help yourself correcting those conditions by correcting your thinking and feelings, affirmations are the very good start! And also love yourself!!!! If you want to learn more about dis-ease of the body Louise Hay-You can heal your life will help Blessings


answered 08 Feb '10, 15:53

AA's gravatar image


I have had migraines all my life, and a lot of accidents from what I thought was being "klutzy". Last Thursday, I had a migraine so severe I went blind. (Do not fret--this has a very happy ending!)

As I lay in the ER of Geisinger Medical Center, I began to think about Inward Quest and Manifestation. I thought to myself, "I am blind. Is there something in my life that I would rather not see?" Despite everything that went on to distract me, this thought lay underneath, and really made me think. I have spent so much money having these headaches treated, and finally, I prayed to God, "You know what, God? I do not want to suffer from these headaches anymore. Show me what I refuse to see." I pondered the last five years, endless infection, surgeries, all of it. Then it occurred to me that I was in that ER, holding my soul-mate's hand, actually happy for the first time in my life! So the answer just had to be right around the corner.

Geisinger is a great place, one of the best in the world. I spent time in the sub-ICU unit, got poked and prodded, but for once, did not fight what was going on. My left eye began to come back, which was encouraging. After all the tests, I was diagnosed with Bickerstaff's Encephalitis (or syndrome)- a specific type of migraine which is characterized by ataxia (the klutziness!!!) and blindness, because it attacks the brain stem. After 45 years, I finally had all the pieces to the puzzle as to why I kept having accidents and headaches- I was being treated for the wrong thing...!!!

I left my home with just only a few clothes weeks ago to join Wade, praying that this was indeed what God wanted, and He rewarded me with a final answer to my greatest life puzzle- why did I keep having headaches and accidents? But what was it I did not want to see? That question still lay in the back of my mind, even as my vision began to clear with medication. Then it hit me: I felt that I did not deserve to be happy! I felt unworthy!

So I finally now hold the answer to all this illness: If I sense happiness, I guess I subconsciously thought that I was undeserving. As I write this, I cry with joy. I DO deserve happiness, and I even manifested it for myself.

I guess there is a moral in here somewhere...It may be this: Your life reflects what you truly believe. Saying this, I am now claiming my happiness, claiming my health, and praising God for the answer to a riddle that has plagued me all my life. I can now say that, Yes, you can and do manifest bad things, but not really deliberately- it's more like the stuff happens as a reflection of your thinking.

Big realization! Thanks for all your love and support and prayers,

Jaianniah July 10 2011


answered 10 Jul '11, 17:32

Jaianniah's gravatar image


So happy for you! Don't forget to use EFT to eliminate the limiting beliefs that you don't deserve happiness. Then tap in the positive affirmation that you do deserve happiness. Blessings and happiness to you, Jai!

(10 Jul '11, 18:20) Fairy Princess

Thanks, Fairy! Will do! Blessings back at you!>>>>>>>

(10 Jul '11, 18:36) Jaianniah

Try to balance your thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. Do you know that we have the right to erase all the negative ones?! Just be always, always aware of the quality of your thoughts. pay attention to the inner thoughts, because they rule. I hope you are not very stressed, and this is your excuse of shifting your focus.


answered 08 Feb '10, 09:02

Jennifer's gravatar image


So wise Jennifer. I know for a fact that thinking negative will create more negative into your life. Jennifer

(08 Feb '10, 09:29) flowingwater

Welcome Jennifer to this site glad to have you here check out the fact sheet in order to understand the reputations points and how to get them, how to give a up or a down and to learn how to get badges. Have a nice day Jennifer.

(08 Feb '10, 09:37) flowingwater

My pain and injuries and suffering were different, but yet, similar. My story outline would look much like Stingray's answer with different details. I was in a few accidents that caused whiplash, hip, knee and wrist injuries, ribs pop out, etc... Thankfully no broken bones. I, like Stingray, wcould mostly talk about my pain and injuries, pushing people away. My sister sent me this book,Healing Back Pain that led to other books that in all, changed my life and led me here to IQ. One of the worst feelings was knowing that it was my thoughts that created my problems. It was the greatest feeling when I realized that it was my thoughts that could fix it too.


answered 10 Jul '11, 14:06

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

Yes, this is the heart of healing- thinking your way out! Thanks! Love,>>>>>>>>>>>

(10 Jul '11, 17:04) Jaianniah

I was going to attempt to give you an answer that might help but when I read Stingray's answer I think it contains all the content and advice you need. Thanks for sharing Stingray - that sure was inspiring. Hope you feel better soon Jai - it's not easy for any of us to admit that we are attracting experiences we don't want into our lives ( myself included ) but until we can look at that with complete honesty I don't think we can become completely free and empowered. Without a doubt you have done none of this on a conscious level but dare I say maybe there is something trapped in your subconscious that is causing these experiences to show up and you may need to go deep to find out what. I in no way mean to sound harsh or judging ( we all have our issues ) and I sincerely hope you find your answers and feel better. As Stingray's answer shows us - there is light at the end of the tunnel when we make the decision to keep searching until we find our own Truth.


answered 05 Feb '10, 18:33

Michaela's gravatar image


I just started reading a Depac Chopra book Unconditional life. and He tells a story about a lady that has cancer and she is young in her late 30ies and she says say that she always wanted to retire at an early age. The thing with LOA that kinda sits in the back of my head too is the "Monkey paw"factor. So I try to be thoughtful about what a would like to attract.get the wording right ,make the vibration pure.


answered 05 Feb '10, 19:32

ursixx's gravatar image


Sometimes when we are trying to mak progress in our life our psycho cybernetic mechanism doesnt feel safe and pulls us back into our comfort zone. Sometimes this is done by literally incapacitating us. There might be a lesson to get from this too. Several years ago I found myself getting hit by a car twice within month period. Both times I was on a bike and the second time left me unable to walk for weeks and months until I could gain back full working use of my leg. Looking back it was very helpful to have that down time it taught me alot invluding the idea that I was was going wayyy too fast on the wrong path and needed to switch quick cause life is short I wouldnt have been able to make that switch if I wasnt forced into that experiencd of downtime. Hope this hleps


answered 22 Nov '12, 09:44

Kanda's gravatar image


Yes, you can think on a negative thought long enough to make it come true for the mind is very powerful. Like if you start saying I can't remember a thing. The more you say it the more it will happen. But if you change action mid-stream and start saying I have a good memory or I have a photographic memory than you will began to have one. Please don't try the negative one to test your self try a positive affirmation to test and see will it come true. It really works especially if you focus on it long enough for it to become a habit to do and say.


answered 08 Feb '10, 09:34

flowingwater's gravatar image


yes of course you can what you do to other comes back to you. example: someone i know was shafting every people around him and on the weekend he went to work on is roof and as fall down and broke is wrist. another example someone does not want to ear someone and lose earing someone does not want to see something and lose sight. someone is missing faith and as liver problem. you broke your left foot did you try to make someone trip? and i do not say only physically. first problem with the right leg and now the left maybe a balence problem? well you are intelligent enuff you will find it out. good luck jai.


answered 11 Jul '11, 03:20

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

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