What do you think? What's it mean to 'know' someone and how do you know if you do?

We all see things differently and have our own opinions about everything. Most of us go through completely different circumstances as we grow up. We all have our own secrets, too, don't we?

What about when a person leads two different lives with a second family? Or a spouse of thirty years has an affair? Or when a best friend for years one day says "we can't be friends", and are never heard from again?

We can't control others. Do we just attract people who will one day change completely? Whether or not you attract these things... do you think you still know someone? Or do we just have a good sense of who they are?

What do you think? Have you ever truly known somebody and what does that feel like? Even if someone doesn't hurt you... do you still know them?

I'm not saying its important or that it means you can never have a great relationship. I just think its interesting to think about. Can we only base our thoughts of someone from our own perception, and even if they fit it, can't they still be completely different?

asked 28 Feb '12, 12:47

LapisLazuli's gravatar image


edited 28 Feb '12, 20:23

In my experience we can only really know another once we really know our self. So what does it mean to really know oneself beyond all of the artificial labels we've applied to who we are? To find out, we must see through all of the labels and drop the mask that we've created which conceals who we really are at our core.

First, realize that both the labels and the mask are not real, per se. Both the labels and the mask are artificial constructs that we create. They're images that are constructed from past memories of past experiences of oneself or another; they have no reality of their own. They have no reality beyond our own estimation of what we feel and believe is most true about our self or another.

And now, in meeting with another, who has also applied labels and who also wears an artificial mask, we interact. However, I question that any real meeting actually takes place, why? Because here we have two images, talking and interacting, but the whole process is artificial because neither of the images are real to begin with.

And so I ask you: what kind of meeting or real communication actually takes place between two people wearing masks?

To really know another, we must first drop our mask and be real, be who we really are at our core. And if the other also drops their mask and is real, is being who they really are; then and only then can any real meeting take place. And what is that meeting?

That meeting is between two expressions, two perspectives, two points of view of the One Source, the One Source of all life. Once we've remembered this, then we've remembered who we really are at our core and who we've always been, absent all labels and artificial masks.

To reach this understanding, to really integrate it into your awareness, you must first come out of hiding from behind your mask and be real ♥ What have you got to lose?


answered 28 Feb '12, 23:59

Eddie's gravatar image



@Eddie - know thyself, i like it

(29 Feb '12, 00:02) blubird two

Thank you for your answer, this makes a lot of sense to me. If you don't know yourself, how could you know someone else? There isn't a way to truly know another if you are hiding behind a mask yourself.

(29 Feb '12, 01:34) LapisLazuli

No but we can get better and better at knowing each other as we try.

I find it correct as for the background of each person having an influence on how they act or react to a situation. For example, there are times that Jai and I will view things entirely differently. We may hear the same sermon and I feel great and fired up feeling, "Wow what a sermon that was, I am doing everything correctly, I feel great!!" She hears the same sermon and feels like she is being put down and accused, like "Why does he keep preaching this to us? We are trying our best!"

It is very interesting how we each experience the same things totally differently, here at home too, watching movies. Movies that she says are great and won all kinds of awards I find boring Movies I find cool and exciting she finds them to be B movies below par for special effects.

She would probably find DinoCroc verses SuperGator ridiculous, where as to me that is a great movie, way better than The King's Speech! lol I know she would say the exact reverse! lol


answered 28 Feb '12, 13:33

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 28 Feb '12, 13:35

Good examples! I agree. I think that's what counts, is the fact that we try, even if we may never completely know someone

(28 Feb '12, 18:47) LapisLazuli

And thank you for your answer =)

(28 Feb '12, 18:50) LapisLazuli

This is a Hard question....But I will tackle it...

I have had many, many friends-close-friends- and even a husband- who I have known well, and yet, they are gone now...Replaced by yet other friends and people...My bestest friend I lost to throat cancer in 1986...We were really close, and had some very special times, and yes, we knew each other very well. But when she got sick, she withdrew from me...she was too sick to maintain our relationship.

My ex...well, I knew him since I was 13...I thought I knew him, at least...but he had some nasty secrets that I had no inkling of, and also, I refused to believe that a "husband" could be capable of such secrets...I was in denial of the little "clues" that should have warned me that dark days were coming. My kids knew something was wrong, but it was my kids that kept me with him, long past the point that I should have stayed. I had nowhere to go, and no support system to rely on...especially after our disastrous move to Mississippi.

I see now that it seems that as our energy grows and changes, the people in our lives change, too. If we are really lucky, we manage to keep one or two friends for life...If we are lucky...But I think that if we are growing and changing, it is natural for friends and close relationships to change and grow, too. The people in our lives "flow" with us...and to resist this is hard on ourselves...we have to grieve a little, and continually count our blessings, and move on. Counting blessings always helps...

It is also normal for even closely-connected people to have some differences...that keeps things lively, and helps move the relationship along. Wade has been to way, way too many Drive-In Movies....His taste in movies has to do with sight gags and monsters and he has been warped by his past...IMHO...He fell asleep during "The King's Speech", although he claims he did not...there just were not enough sight-gags and monsters in that one for his taste...The point of even mentioning this is because every relationship has these little moments that can make or break the deal...so far, he has (perhaps) learned that not every movie I like is detestable...He finally agreed to watch "Shawshank Redemption" and liked it...a major victory for me! I watched "Big Stan", and it was great...Rob Schneider impressed me with his very real Karate skills...So, you see, the relationship grows and changes with COMPROMISES and love!

It is a normal part of life, at least from where I am sitting, for people to flow in and out of my stream...I have learned to just let it happen...I know that God will give me who I need, when I need them, at just the right moment!

Bless you,



answered 28 Feb '12, 14:16

Jaianniah's gravatar image


I agree! People are always naturally flowing in and out of our lives, because were all changing and growing in different ways. Thank you for your answer :)

(28 Feb '12, 18:49) LapisLazuli

..and LOL at the Kings Speech story! Haha. "The relationship grows and changes with compromises and love!" I agree with that, too!

(28 Feb '12, 18:55) LapisLazuli

Jai, it's beautiful to glimpse the greatness in your wise and gentle soul.

(28 Feb '12, 22:10) The Traveller

@The Traveller- much thanks for a beautiful affirmation for me...it came at just the right time! Blessings for your "wise and gentle soul", also!>>>>>>>>>>Jai

(29 Feb '12, 02:27) Jaianniah

@LapisLazuli- TY for the great comments...Glad I gave you "LOL"...I have learned much about that flow of people...God has ALWAYS graced me with the right people at the right time! Blessings,>>>>>>>>>>>Jai

(29 Feb '12, 02:31) Jaianniah
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

if we let them know us
and they are for who we are
we begin to know each other,
for how long do we let it last


answered 28 Feb '12, 20:44

fred's gravatar image



Thank you fred. I think I get it. You're saying we can know someone and they can know us, but it is up to us individually to let them in and let them know us? I like that

(28 Feb '12, 21:02) LapisLazuli

You will only know someone after you have eaten a pound of salt with them. That's a lot of meals baby. Actually that other you speak of is you. Do not be to critical as he/she is another manifestation of you. There is only ONE. I know I don't exactly understand it either, but I know somehow it is true.


answered 28 Feb '12, 23:11

Tom's gravatar image


I agree.. confusing in a way, but I think it makes sense. We are all one, the same. I guess its hard to grasp because we're so used to the feeling of seperation. So we are everything? The definition of me extends past my physical body and into everything that surrounds me? Just thinking out loud... thank you for your answer! :)

(28 Feb '12, 23:35) LapisLazuli
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