From my understanding of the Law of Attraction, it seems that if we want to experience a dominant state happiness in our lives then we should always follow and act on our highest joy.

However, in the society we live in, as soon as we are born, we have a number of relationships such as family and friendship which gives rise to certain obligations.

For example, I personally feel obliged to support my parents emotionally and financially and also to be by their side in hard times. I also for example sometimes feel an obligation to go along with my husband's ideas or decisions.

However, I do not always feel comfortable or happy doing the above. If I did follow my highest joy in those situations, then I would probably choose to support my parents a lot less or go along with what I want to do more than what my husband thinks is right.

But, I choose in most cases not to follow my highest joy because of obligation. I also feel ,however, that if there was no such obligation, then the relationships that we experience would not work as well in this physical world.

So, going back to my original question now, to what extent should we let obligation interfere with following our highest joy?

asked 16 Jul '12, 02:25

Pink%20Diamond's gravatar image

Pink Diamond

Not my will but Thine be done...

Speaking multi-dimensionally, the reason that your highest joy is your highest joy is because it comes from that part of you that's Divine. The Divine part of you knows what's best for you and thus, what will serve you best.

By following your highest joy, you'll feel good and you'll vibrate at an even higher frequency and that will lead you to more inspiration, which, when followed will lead you to even more joy. And from that high vibrational state, you'll be in a position to best assist others... So your obligation is to assist yourself first and then, if appropriate, to assist others.

Alternatively, not acting on your highest joy keeps you down and limits your ability and effectiveness in assisting others anyway; so is there really a choice? Where there is choice there is confusion. And this confusion can only arise when your physical mind is in control because it believes that it knows best; when in truth it doesn't know best because its view is always limited and cloudy.

Always remember that we don't know what others came here to experience... So others experiences are not our responsibility; neither should they be our primary concern...

To what extent should we let obligation interfere with following our highest joy?

Not my will but Thine be done, now and forever more, (which is the same thing) :)


answered 17 Jul '12, 00:40

Eddie's gravatar image



@Eddie - You have made some good points. Thank you.

(17 Jul '12, 01:44) Pink Diamond

Hello Pink Diamond. I consider what I wrote to be the raw, hard, core truth.

It seems as though you have beliefs which are leading you to make the choices you make concerning your obligations. I'm not suggesting that you ignore your beliefs as they're there for your own reasons and as such they must be honored by you.

However, by really examining your beliefs and asking if they're really serving you, you'll be in a position to redefine them into new ones, if you so desire to at this time.

(17 Jul '12, 23:14) Eddie

I used to ponder those same questions.

One day at my meditative level, I imagined going off by myself and beginning a new life, away from loved ones. I made my own decisions completely and only did what pleased me and benefitted me personally. In time, it became tedious and too predictable. I missed the occasional resistence. I also missed my adult children, my relatives, friends and husband.

Although sometimes I don't enjoy doing the will of others, this is, in a way, the price I pay for having them in my life. And helping them or supporting them is often the right thing to do, morally and karmically. Rosicrucianism teaches that it is sometimes good to do the will of others for our own soul growth. We learn other perspectives and learn to put aside our own egos once in awhile. And once in awhile we even have fun in the process. Have you ever gone along with the decision of someone else, and in trying something new, had a really good time, or good adventure?

Doing things for others should be balanced though, and not a one-way steet. You need to make decisions that make you happy as well and consider your own safely of course. Doing the will of others sometimes does not mean giving up control of your own life.

I hope I was helpful. Best wishes!


answered 16 Jul '12, 17:39

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

edited 16 Jul '12, 18:14

@LeeAnn1 - Thanks, you have definitely provided me with some food for thought here.

(17 Jul '12, 01:42) Pink Diamond

@LeeAnn1 - I also feel that the concept of obligation is there for us to learn from but still trying to understand how it really fits into our physical existence on earth.

(17 Jul '12, 01:55) Pink Diamond

I think this quote represents quite a good answer to your dilemma...

Nobody knows what is best for you but yourself. You should not worry about what the peanut gallery (this is how Abraham refer to the general public and others around you) says or thinks of you as long as you feel good and derive pleasure in what you are doing whether that is meditating or doing voluntary work.

No matter what you do, there is always going to be somebody who thinks it's not quite right. But then are you going to take what everybody thinks or says into account and change your behaviour to please them all. Of course not as it is not possible.

Your connection to source and your well being is what is most important. Personally, I couldn't care less if somebody said that to me as everybody has their own agenda.

So who was the writer of that insightful answer?

...You :)

As I often say, it's so much easier to see the solution to other people's problems than our own :)


answered 18 Jul '12, 07:27

Stingray's gravatar image


edited 18 Jul '12, 07:28

haha, well done Stingray :) And it's true, at least that's why I'm here for one of many reasons. I'm finding my own answers in my replies to my own questions through other people asking them.

(18 Jul '12, 07:33) CalonLan

@CalonLan - Yeah, happens to me all the time. If I'm in a dumb out-of-the-Vortex frame of mind, I might stumble across an answer on IQ and think..."hmmmm, that's useful, who wrote that?"..."Oh, it's me" :)

(18 Jul '12, 07:36) Stingray

@Stingray - Thank you for reminding me of my answer. I suppose there are no exceptions to what Abraham say, even if it is close family who you love, the same rules have to apply to every situation.

I really had no idea that I wrote that answer until I reached your comment at the bottom...amazing.

(19 Jul '12, 11:34) Pink Diamond
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

as soon as we are born, we have a number of relationships such as family and friendship which gives rise to certain obligations.

No we don't - They are only illusory obligations imposed on us by society's paradigm. Each person is there on his own. In fact, although in a group, we're always alone. Yes it makes sense you help a child to grow. But that's about it. The child has nothing to pay you back. It was your decision to bring it to this world. When you grow old, it was your responsibility to secure yourself when you were younger. If you fail to do so, your child is NOT obligated to secure you for your own inability. Indeed, they may help. But so can your friends or anyone. Don't say to your child - "I raised you, you owe me" - ever! Your children are your FRIENDS. So much for any kind of obligation in this world. We're all just friends regardless of what each society might think.

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.” ~ Buddha

This suggests another question though. - "How much are you afraid of other people's reactions towards you should you follow your heart and let those who don't understand and judge you for being and doing what you want stay in their ignorance and misunderstanding?"

Everyone has to answer it for himself. But I can say from my own life's experience, letting go of society's paradigms and stripping these so "obligations" of their importance, I really do feel a lot more free in my life. It's so much easier to breath suddenly.


answered 16 Jul '12, 04:17

CalonLan's gravatar image


edited 16 Jul '12, 04:17

@CalonLan - Thanks for the answer. Are you saying then that the obligations imposed by society do not serve any beneficial purpose in terms of our life on earth and our interactions if they are not in line with our highest joy?

(16 Jul '12, 06:49) Pink Diamond

@Pink Diamond, exactly. You are the picture, society is the frame. If you don't fit the frame, what are you gonna do, cut the picture? Or find a frame that fits the picture so that it can be displayed to the world in all its beauty.

Either you run your life, or you get run by life.

(16 Jul '12, 07:01) CalonLan

experience and enjoy.stay in truth with a pure heart. as for society and the norm and standard. norm and standard change will you make obligation to follow them? look at religion for example. do they all do as they preach? or do many out of ego judge other? maybe there is not enuff scripture on judging in the bible? maybe there is not enuff scripture of worshipping in truth and spirit and the importance of a pure heart? or maybe the book is to big so many prefered to not read it?

(17 Jul '12, 23:38) white tiger
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

What are obligations?

Obligations are only actions which we do because we think that they are the morally correct choices.

Look at that word morally. Whose morals are we talking about? Yours? Your husband's? Or should we look higher--at what God requires of us- or rather, what we think God requires of us.

Now--think abut this sentence: THE JOB OF A GOOD PARENT IS TO BECOME OBSOLETE. Have your parents become "obsolete?" It doesn't sound like it. Rather, it sounds like you do NOT find any joy in helping them- perhaps because deep inside of you, you sense that they should really be taking care of themselves, and letting you live your life.

As for your husband-- are you really communicating with him? Or does he have the upper hand in all things? Perhaps now you can see why you do NOT feel JOY when you make decisions that go against the grain. You are acting the role of the martyr (sorry- I know that was a tough word to swallow) and do things out of duty rather than out of love.

If I were you, I'd sit down and do some hard thinking about what brings you J-O-Y, and even make a list of those things. Be thorough and just write without caring about what anyone would think about what you write. Then, compare that list to what you are presently doing.

They will be quite different, I'll bet.

It's okay to help, but only if it brings you J-O-Y. Otherwise, you are NOT doing it for the right reasons.

Now- about what God wants.

He wants you to be happy, and to do His will- not your parents' wills or your husband's will, but His. And--this may shock you--His will for you may be to "drop the rock". He may be waiting for you to blossom into yourself. He may be waiting for you to find what is your will! And the closer your will lines up with God's, the happier you will be.

Reassess your priorities. Expect resistance as you change how you behave. But always remember that as long as God is pleased, and you are pleased, that is your first priority!

Good Luck and Peace,



answered 16 Jul '12, 04:12

Jaianniah's gravatar image



Jai, you just made God to be someone else. Just like parents or a husband. Why then, I ask, should be we do ask god says and not as our parents do? There's a famous question - "what does the universe(god) asks of you?". And in answering that question you find the nature of life. As a matter of fact the universe does not ask anything. In fact, it's us, who ask the universe for manifestation...

(16 Jul '12, 04:51) CalonLan

God has 'put' us here, gave us toys and now he's just watching us play. We may get happy or unhappy with the toys, if we're happy, we keep them, if we're unhappy we ask the God to give us new toys. And he always gives them to us. His store is open 24/7 and we have VIP membership. But sometimes even when we say we want a new toy, we don't go and take it, as we get entangled in our own conceptions of life.

God is not a standalone entity which would have different wants than your own wants. ;)

(16 Jul '12, 04:55) CalonLan

I am not God. I am part of God, but I am not God. You and I have different feelings about this, which I do not care to debate. Jai

(16 Jul '12, 06:24) Jaianniah

That's alright :)

(16 Jul '12, 06:35) CalonLan

@Jaianniah - Thanks for your answer.

(17 Jul '12, 01:43) Pink Diamond
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

Obligation is like motivation, doing something so that something negative wouldn't happen. So is it benefiting your world?

If you could act out of inspiration - realizing why you want to do something for others, would it be more benefiting your world?

Just imagine, that all around you is your virtual reality, the taste of which is equal to what you feel when you create it - what is more important then, doing what puts you, the creator of the vibrational atmosphere in your life (that includes the Well Being of the loved by you people, too), into harmony, or doing something that as if maintains the mirror in some weird way you were taught to maintain, that feels bad to you and leaves a bad aftertaste as well?

Do you think that bad taste you have from those not-very-highly-joyful activities, is just your "stupid thing", or maybe some guidance from inside?

If your world (including the lives of your loved ones) reflects your feeling, what would be the most important thing to do?


answered 22 Jun '14, 14:45

Olga%20Farber's gravatar image

Olga Farber

edited 22 Jun '14, 14:47

"When in doubt, choose love" "Define who you are, define your world"

Obligation: "Something by which a person is bound or obliged to do certain things, and which arises out of a sense of duty or results from custom, law, etc"

Joy: An elated RESPONSE to feelings of happiness, experiences of pleasure, and awareness of abundance.

So, what is your "highest joy"? This definition, I think, is the crux of the issue presented.

In my journey, highest joy is god's joy. I would define god as the all thing, and therefore god's joy would be creation in the now.

So from a reductionist view, our "highest joy" or "god's joy" would be whatever we're choosing to create at this time.

Consciously, this looks a lot like acceptance, intention, and attention all mixed into one.

In other words, living in your highest joy is realizing that whatever is happening is a wonderful creation that you, as a conscious being, can co-create with the rest of the life energies that you are currently working with.

The term "obligation" is simply a paradigm for us to work within. You even have the choice to redefine that box, or definition, if you choose.

So the answer to the question: "To what extent should we let obligation interfere with following our highest joy?" comes out as thus:

You choose your extension. You choose what obligation means and what interference means. You choose what joy your experience and how you define your life meaning by what belief systems you live by.

So, the recommendation thus far in this thread seems to be -- Choose life. Choose love. Choose God.


answered 22 Jun '14, 13:22

Gabriel%20Yusef%20Buchanan's gravatar image

Gabriel Yusef Buchanan

what you see as obligation is only what is normal to do for your self and other if you want to be just make your path straight with no division. as for the word obligation is something that you must do and have no choice in the matter. motivation is something that you seek to achieve and it brings you joy and you have the choice.

did not your parent and husband do the same for you? if so it would be normal to do the same. and if they did not did it for you then why would you seek to be worse or like them? set your standard higher then you will be sure to not fall where they failed.

Let there be light, be the light that you can be , experience and enjoy.


answered 23 Jun '14, 15:46

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

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