I have had difficult pain for about seven years now; it seems to have had it's start with a fall years ago. That may be connected with former abuse experienced, so I have tried to carefully work through all of the feelings that brings up. I have learned a lot about how to handle the pain, and taken some excellent steps to reclaim my health, and it is all helping a lot. It has been getting much, much better this year.

I think I see how I brought this to myself - I just couldn't handle the emotional pain I was living with, so I switched it to physical pain. I want to be done with it all now. This is limiting my life, and I just can't stand it anymore.

I have become much stronger in the last six months with a specific exercise routine devised by my physical therapist that is developing muscles I never knew I had, and is doing wonders for my flexibility, energy, and my self-esteem. I am eating better food than ever, taking good supplements, drinking lots of water. I've worked to change how my thoughts and emotions effect my life, and its working - I may not have "arrived" yet, but I am definitely glowing. :)

Still, pain stops me from moving easily, and prevents me from walking for more than a few minutes at a time. This stops me from going to concerts, street fairs, beach strolls, baseball games, rock walking (along my beloved river) window shopping, antiquing, walking in the rain (read - splashing in puddles :D), millions of fun little things are just gone from my life, and I want so much better for myself. I want to do yoga again. I tried last night to do a yoga routine suggested to me here, but I couldn't even do the first warm up, and ended up in tears, nothing accomplished. I have pain medicine, and it does help, but I don't want to handle pain, I want it gone!

I have read a lot on this site about pain, but it comes down to one of two things: Either dealing with the pain, or getting rid of it at each occurrence, tapping or meditating, or otherwise stopping and concentrating on it - all of which I use, and they help, but they don't last. The pain just comes right back. I want it gone forever.

There are healers here. Can you heal me? Or can you teach me how to heal myself?

I would appreciate anything you can share with me. Thank you.


asked 24 Sep '12, 23:03

Grace's gravatar image


edited 24 Sep '12, 23:04

This is weird, but I guess this would be the right place for it, because it's about the same problem... Can I ask a favor? I'm having kind of a difficult medical procedure done tomorrow afternoon, at 4:30 p.m. (Pacific) Oct. 8th. It is a painful one. I need to muster some courage to go through with it. I could sure use your loving energy and prayers, if you would... I just think it would be better if I felt like I wasn't alone. Thank you. :)

(07 Oct '12, 19:09) Grace

You are never alone Grace,God your Angels and Guides are always with you.Just look in your heart.I see you whole and healed.Love and Light.

(07 Oct '12, 21:36) Roy

Sending you love and comfort and healing

(07 Oct '12, 21:48) Fairy Princess

Makes mental note 12:30.AM (GMT+1) to send positive vibrations your way @Grace

(08 Oct '12, 02:12) ursixx

@Roy, @Fairy Princess, @ursixx - I can't thank you enough. I am basically just keeping my mind away from it til the time comes. When I'm on the table, I will remember your words thank you so much. :)

(08 Oct '12, 12:37) Grace

@Grace I'll be thinking of you:)

(08 Oct '12, 12:55) LapisLazuli

@LapisLazuli - That means a lot to me, thank you so much.

(08 Oct '12, 13:02) Grace

@Grace - Sorry I missed this when it was posted...had a busy week and missed out on some great IQ threads. I'll send some healing energy/requests your way. :)

(08 Oct '12, 15:36) lozenge123

Hey there @lozenge123, thank you! I still have about 2 hours to go.

I so appreciate everybody's kindness here. I know it'll be fine. I don't know why I lost my nerve - I just looked at this appt and felt like I could not go through with it. I couldn't face it, it seemed like too much to handle on my own. Everybody's friendly vibes are helping so much. I was so embarrassed to ask, but now I'm very glad I did. :)

(08 Oct '12, 17:25) Grace
(08 Oct '12, 17:32) Grace

Hello everyone, I just wanted to say thanks again, and that it went so much better than before. Even the doctor was so much more precise (less bruising.) Something funny happened though, and I wondered if someone could explain it - I kept seeing white flowers. White flowers with little pointy petals, or it could have been white birds flying in a flock.... there was light shining in between. Does anyone know why?

(09 Oct '12, 11:56) Grace

God will show his light in many different ways.I trust you are recovering well.Love and Light.

(09 Oct '12, 13:57) Roy

@Grace This isn't really an answer but Wes Annac usually has some wise words and here he is writing about embracing and healing pain. http://wesannac.com/2014/01/12/embracing-and-healing-pain/

(16 Jan '14, 11:32) Catherine

@Grace I understand you a lot because of Jai and her pain. The doc gave her oxycodon and I had not seen her function normal and happy like that in a long time. But he said that was only temporary and cut it off, because he doesn't want her to get addicted to it. He says there are lots of alternatives, of course she has been trying those for years and nothing works yet! It reminds me of the movie "Awakenings" with Robert DiNiro except with pain, at least he went back to no feeling or function.

(16 Jan '14, 13:00) Wade Casaldi

@Catherine, @Wade Casaldi - Thank you both. It seems so funny to me that this old question has been resurrected today, because last night, for the first time ever, I dreamed I could walk normally again. I dreamed I had a new job that required a lot of quick walking from place to place. It was was very lighthearted and I was reveling in the feeling of strength, freedom, and inclusion. You get very tired of standing on the sidelines year after year, just watching everyone else walk around...

(16 Jan '14, 15:38) Grace

...and it felt so good to be active and included again. When I logged on here this morning, the sudden, helpful, loving comments here made me bawl like a baby, I don't understand why. And there was me thinking I was so cool and all nowadays. ;)

(16 Jan '14, 15:39) Grace

@Wade, I know just what you mean about Awakenings. I can take enough medicine to remember what it was like to function properly, as you said, but I don't dare try to sustain it, so it is always very short-lived. That is disheartening sometimes, but I believe there is an answer, somewhere.

(16 Jan '14, 15:44) Grace

@Grace "I dreamed I had a new job that required a lot of quick walking from place to place. It was was very lighthearted and I was reveling in the feeling of strength, freedom, and inclusion."

That sounds like an inspiration to me. Try to take that into your wakeful state as much as you can and milk it for as long as you can. Turn that dream into a daydream and play around with actually being that person Now. If you can think it up, it has to exist in this thing we call the universe.

(16 Jan '14, 16:06) Cory

@Cory - Yes! I do have that in mind! I was just encouraging someone yesterday to hang on to an exciting feeling of imagining really enjoying something she wanted, reminding her that the Universe hates a vacuum. That conversation came me back to me as I woke up with shreds of my dream. The sweet endorphins that flood me at the thought of living like that again are better than any painkillers I've tried, so playing with that feeling is fun fun. :) Thanks Cory. Appreciating :)

(16 Jan '14, 16:25) Grace

@Grace I also would like to recommend a book if you haven't tried it yet. It's called Quantum Touch

I read the whole book but haven't really got deep into the healing practice since I prefer Frank Kinslow's work myself. But the few times I tried it, things seemed to shift for me physically. It could be worth a look. I just wanted to...

(24 Jan '14, 15:19) Cory

@Grace ... give you as many options as possible. Sometimes certain things work better and resonate for different people more strongly than others.

(24 Jan '14, 15:21) Cory

Thank you very much, @Cory, I just bought it. The description and reviews look very promising. :)

(24 Jan '14, 15:37) Grace
showing 0 of 22 show 22 more comments

Like many on this site you are well versed in what you should be doing. You have made real progress since your arrived on the site - I can see that and I am sure you know that too. You know that your vibrational offering and your beliefs are what create your world. Firstly, celebrate that because that means you are closer to the solution than perhaps appears.

As you move into the higher vibrations, you have to deal with the more deeply layered issues and integrate. This usually doesn't happen all at once because most of us couldn't handle all our issues at once.

My guess is that the pain is indeed connected to the abuse you have suffered in this life and probably in other lifetimes as well. On some level you maybe don't feel safe.

The solution is start affirming that you are safe - "I am safe", "It is safe to be in my body", "It is safe to voice my opinions" etc. You know yourself what might work here - if you can't think of it, just keep asking yourself what the issues are you need to deal with. I find Treb's technique of relaxing and counting to 21 (with 5 - 10 seconds between each number) and then when you get to 21, asking yourself the question and just listening for the answer. Trust the first answer given before you have had time to consciously amend it.

Also keep assessing yourself as you move through your day. Notice when you are triggered and ask yourself questions about it - how do I feel about this? Notice what happens within your body. When you are in pain, notice it, stay present and ask yourself questions about it ... what thoughts have created this? What is the worst thought I have had which has led to this? What is the reason I have created this pain? Questions beginning with "Why" are particularly powerful? Write it out if that helps.

Once you know what thoughts are creating the pain, you are aware of it - awareness changes things by itself but you can also switch to the polar opposite thought. For example, you have pain, you ask yourself what thoughts have created it ... (you may have to do this multiple times over a period of some days) you listen for the answer. Say the answer is "I have pain because I'm not good enough". (That's just an example - I'm not suggesting that that is your feeling). You can switch that to "I am worthy". You could even ask yourself what the thought you need to focus on is. The point is to focus on the vibration you want (I know I don't need to tell you that!)

Once I have uncovered a belief - I make a note of it and at an appropriate moment I do a focus wheel/block on it. Get in the habit of doing a few a day - they are a fantastic tool.

The other thing and I know I really really struggle with this myself and I sense from your question that you are struggling with it too. Accept where you are. Try to see this situation as a gateway to something better. You know maybe experiencing this pain has led to fantastic spiritual insights. Experiencing pain has enabled you to reach out to others in pain, made you more compassionate. Look for the benefits in the situation. My own struggles have led me much further down the path of spiritual enlightenment but yeah, sometimes I just want them to be over so that I can get on with the fantastic spiritual life I envision for myself - LOL! I know it is sloppy thinking. If you could just see this pain as an opportunity to integrate these emotions, even just a little bit, it would help you. Every time I tell myself that that is difficult - I try to challenge myself - because I BELIEVE it is difficult doesn't mean that it is - I could chose to see it as easy instead. That is easier said that done I know. Or is the very thought that things are easier said than done just another belief?

These are challenging times in which we are living and to a greater or lesser extent we are all having difficulty dealing with our issues. Ultimately, nothing needs fixing - as Ursixx says you are already healed but you need to press the RESET button and get back to the real you, pain free and healthy.

What is antiquing by the way?


answered 25 Sep '12, 04:07

Catherine's gravatar image


edited 26 Sep '12, 03:17

Hi @Catherine - Thank you so much for your answer. I had to wait a while til there was a quiet moment to read through it, because I saw at first glance that you were seeing straight through me. :) "On some level you maybe don't feel safe." You hit me right where I live. Is it obvious to everyone, or are you just especially perceptive? I will take your advice to heart. Thank you.

(25 Sep '12, 13:03) Grace

@Catherine - Sorry! Antiquing is mooching around antique shops for little treasures... One of the things I love to do in funny little out of the way towns. :) I got these etched wine glasses for $8, this amazing little embroidered bag for $6... Don't get me started.. :D

(25 Sep '12, 13:53) Grace

I also really like the idea of offering a contradictory thought, as I do believe that really any thought is as good as another when you think about it - it's true if I say it's true, right? This and Abraham's pivoting and deciding this is JUST GREAT! as our @Satori posted from Bashar the other day. I can be very obstinate when it comes to making a decision on how to think, so these things feel like they will help me. Thanks again.

(25 Sep '12, 14:05) Grace

@Grace I thought about this afterwards and decided I hadn't been sensitive enough - physical pain is a real bummer and it is hard to concentrate on all these things you know you should be doing. Pivoting to the opposite thought is also easier said than done (am I overusing that?) but certainly the awareness thing is the key here.

(25 Sep '12, 14:21) Catherine

@Grace By consciously "checking in with yourself" (to use a Wendy Kennedy term) you can work out what the underlying thoughts really are - they aren't always the obvious ones. You've been around here long enough to have belief in the power of thoughts so belief that you CAN improve your situation possibly isn't the issue but by digging around you can get to what is going on and once you have awareness - you can change the underlying thought.

(25 Sep '12, 14:24) Catherine

@Grace Antiquing - I hadn't read it that way! I don't think we have a word for that so that can be my new word for it.

(25 Sep '12, 14:27) Catherine

@Catherine - You are very kind and sensitive, no worries at all, and your advice is truly appreciated. I have not yet studied as you and others here have, and you have your own take on it all anyway, so it's very valuable to me when you answer my questions.

Also, old posts on similar subjects are not always helpful, because while your answer will help many, here you are addressing me in the knowledge of how my mind works, and what my history and experience is. This is priceless stuff.

(25 Sep '12, 15:09) Grace

@Catherine, there is also the fact that it seems almost impossible for me to see my own problems in the same way I see others. I really do need all of you here so much - I'm sure I'll be out of the nursery soon, but I love the help I receive in seeing the application for myself of the principles here on IQ.

(25 Sep '12, 15:11) Grace

@Catherine I very much enjoyed this answer. Thank you for sharing!

(26 Sep '12, 01:09) Cory
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

Hi Grace, I suggest you get as comfortable as you can, either sitting or laying down. Close your eyes and start breathing deeply and follow your breath for a few minutes. Then, see your breath/prana going to your areas of pain and see yourself moving with ease. See yourself walking and running and dancing and smiling. This visualization will create the healing you seek. Peace


answered 28 Sep '12, 06:42

Brian's gravatar image


Thank you, @Brian. This sounds like it will feel lovely.

(30 Sep '12, 10:03) Grace

From the Tao Te Ching

Who recognizes his limitations is healthy;
Who ignores his limitations is sick.
The sage recognizes this sickness as a limitation.
And so becomes immune.

I wish I was a healer. I'd wave my healing wand and say pain be gone!

The emotional toll of chronic pain also can make pain worse. Anxiety, stress, depression, anger, and fatigue interact in complex ways with chronic pain and may decrease the body's production of natural painkillers; moreover, such negative feelings may increase the level of substances that amplify sensations of pain, causing a vicious cycle of pain.

There is the whole ying and yang part of your pain.
Where has it brought you?
How strong have you become?
And a measly six months WOW, just think how great your going to feel next summer when you take your river trip!

When you deliberately seek positive aspects of whatever you are giving your attention to, you, in a sense, tune your vibrational tuner to more positive aspects of everything. And, of course, you could tune yourself negatively as well. But as you are deliberately looking for positive aspects in yourself or in others, you will find more of those things: "The better it gets, the better it gets," for you get more and more of what you are thinking about —whether you want it or not.

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the book "Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Health, Wealth and Happiness" # 574

Again A-H Daily Quote to the rescue!
The healer heals those that are already healed.There is a healer that can heal you her nom de plume is Grace! Know that it's getting better and is going away.Have no doubts!


answered 25 Sep '12, 02:24

ursixx's gravatar image


edited 25 Sep '12, 06:11


@ursixx - I wish you was a healer, too! Wave your wand for me! :) I guess that is a bit of a childish wish, huh? But you know, you are supposed to ask for what you want, so I did.

Pain does take an emotional toll, but it feels really whiney to say that, so your validation makes me feel better about it.

Abraham to the rescue again! I will focus on the progress, not on the distance I have to go. Thank you my friend. And thank you for the encouragement.

(25 Sep '12, 13:09) Grace

I have not permanently ended pain. However, the only moment that matters is Now. I have come up with a way to feel better now. I call it Two Hands Touching. I was in 3 minor car accidents, but got soft tissue injuries that have not yet healed. I also slipped and fell and tweeked my sacroilliac joint, which goes out every once in awhile. So ribs go out and my hips go out. I can 'adjust' most of them with a softball or other small hard rubber balls. However, there is a spot in my neck and a spot in my hip/lower back that I haven't been able to get myself, so I go to the chiropractor.

Last summer, my hip went out, but it was too tender to adjust, so I didn't go to the chiropractor. However, the displacement of my upper body, put out my neck in the place I can't get, so I was on the couch all summer in excruciating pain, barely able to hobble. Finally I was able to go to the chiropractor and be able to get adjusted and begin to mend. This summer, my hip went out where I can't get it, so I went to the chiropractor. I forgot that he wouldn't be able to adjust it because I couldn't even lay on the table. So I went in and had to sit with a heating pad on my back since I couldn't lay on the table. It was so tender that when the chiropracto asked me where it hurt, I touched it, which sent it into spasm which sent other muscles into spasm, kinda looked like I was on a bucking bronco. So the Chiro said that I would have to go home and take muscle relaxers for a few days before he would be able to even touch me. I thought about last summer and how there was no way I was going to go home without an adjustment, I couldn't even walk upright. So sitting on the table, I put my hands together and did THT. I slowly lowered myself onto my side and he adjusted my, I carefully turned, with his help and my hands pressed together, and he adjusted everything. I asked him if he could feel me relax under his hands, and he simply said, "I wasn't going to be able to adjust you before."

So, I still have pain daily, but THT helps me to handle Now. I use it often, and have noticed a huge difference in my thinking patterns which is what will change my reality as fast as my beliefs allow. I have a long way to go, but I have come a long way. Neither of what matters, because Now is all we have.


answered 30 Sep '12, 11:51

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess


Thank you, @Fairy Princess.

(30 Sep '12, 13:18) Grace

@Grace You're welcome. I hope it helps

(01 Oct '12, 10:34) Fairy Princess

hi this is my first time posting hi i read you want to get rid of pain okay alot of people have given you some advice thats good now i have an idea why dont you get angry at your pain and take control over it and get creative get some paint brushes and paint the pain for example if you go to the goodwill you can find some paint brushes and get artisticly angry like if your the hero in the comic book and you paint the true intension of this pain., another idea maybe you need a new friendly wallpainting with lots of people to stare at and meditate and make your imagination fly hard or maybe with help you can change your curtains or rearange your furniture or put happy vibrant colors in and get dressup dont wear cloths for the pain or nothing for the pain that my advice im trying to find a tree to revive i found one and im going to make it come back its half dried but hope exists tell me how it go okay


answered 25 Sep '12, 17:45

analilia's gravatar image



@analilia, Welcome to IQ! Thank you for your advice. I think that anything that gets your mind off the pain can only help, and keeping myself and my surroundings cheerful will always be good, you're right.

I really like the idea that I give no place to the pain "don't wear clothes for the pain". I get that - that's great advice. As though I don't want to make it comfortable, it won't be staying long!

(25 Sep '12, 18:41) Grace

analila, it is that part of yourself and what you allow yoursef to think that allows emotional pain to burn. each situation that generates burn ought be put to rest and divert that energy wielded in defense and denial to better creative use

(25 Sep '12, 21:51) fred

@analilia Love the tree idea. Welcome to IQ.

(26 Sep '12, 01:53) Catherine
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

As a physical being, you're always going to experience pain. The way you eliminate that pain is by removing or healing the thing that causes that pain.

You should rejoice in this. Pain is a feedback mechanism; it is nature's way of telling you that you are doing something that is harmful to your physical self. The pain instructs you to correct the harming behavior, and allows you to come back to physical equilibrium.

If your pain is complex, in the sense that it is tied to heavy things in your past, rather than using techniques that focus on the pain, perhaps you should focus on healing the things that cause that pain. Focusing on the pain only makes you more attached to it.

The afternoon was quiet... an occasional passenger
now and then. Time between I practiced vaporizing

I have been a flight instructor, and I know that students always
make easy things hard; I do know better, yet there was I a student
again, frowning fiercely at my cumulus targets. I needed more
teaching, for once, than practice. Shimoda was stretched out under
the Fleet's wing, pretending to be asleep. I kicked him softly on the
arm, and he opened his eyes.

"I can't do it," I said.

"Yes you can," he said, and closed his eyes again.

"Don, I've tried! Just when I think something's happening, the
cloud strikes back and goes poufing up bigger than ever."

He sighed and sat up. "Pick me a cloud. An easy one, please."

I chose the biggest meanest cloud in the sky, three thousand
feet tall, bursting up white smoke from hell. "The one over the silo,
yonder," I said. "The one that's going black now."

He looked at me in silence. "Why is it you hate me?"

"It's because I like you, Don, that I ask these things." I smiled.
"You need challenge. If you'd rather I picked something smaller ..."

He sighed again and turned back to the sky. "I'll try. Now,
which one?"

I looked, and the cloud, the monster with its million tons of
rain, was gone; just an ungainly blue-sky hole where it had been.

"Yike," I said quietly.

"A job worth doing..." he quoted. "No, much as I would like
to accept the praise which you heap upon me, I must in all honesty
tell you this: it's easy."

He pointed to a little puff of a cloud overhead. "There. Your
turn. Ready? Go."

I looked at the wisp of a thing, and it looked back at me. I
thought it gone, thought an empty place where it was, poured
visions of heat-rays up at it, asked it to reappear somewhere else,
and slowly slowly, in one minute, in five, in seven, the cloud at last
was gone. Other clouds got bigger, mine went away.

"You're not very fast, are you?" he said.

"That was my first time! I'm just-beginning! Up against the impossible... well, 
the improbable, and all you can think to say is
I'm not very fast. That was brilliant and you know it!"

"Amazing. You were so attached to it, and still it disappeared
for you."

"Attached! I was whocking that cloud with everything I had!
Fireballs, laser beams, vacuum cleaner a block high..."

"Negative attachments, Richard. If you really want to remove
a cloud from your life, you do not make a big production out of it,
you just relax and remove it from your thinking. That's all there is
to it."

-- Richard Bach, "Illusions, the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah"

answered 23 Jan '14, 18:12

Vesuvius's gravatar image


edited 23 Jan '14, 18:24

@Vesuvius - Yes, I do understand what you mean. Whatever you focus on grows. That's why I ask for guidance so seldom on this subject. I keep my mind on everything that is good, strong, and healthy in my life and my body. I infuse myself with love and light and good feeling thoughts consciously, and as continuously as I can. I identify myself as a freeflowing, beautiful, powerful being, not a sad, limited sack of unremitting pain...

(24 Jan '14, 15:06) Grace

...This question was meant to ask, what am I missing? since, though I have succeeded in so much recently, I have not yet succeeded in manifesting a strong, pain free body.

(24 Jan '14, 15:07) Grace

.... I also mentioned in my question that the pain I experience may have been caused by injuries from abuse years ago, so I have used methods learned here to "knock the legs out" from this manifestation - eliminate the resistance that I am not aware of that could be keeping me stuck here (ie. old resentments, etc.) I pretty easily let go of everything I become aware of, and use the method of releasing everything that causes any unwanted sensations in my body for anything I am not aware of.

(24 Jan '14, 15:11) Grace
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

@Grace- I HEAR YOU!!! I am in the same boat...one thing after another, no end in sight...Am on my way to the hospital (again) for a torn cornea--third time I have woken up with this...I will add to my answer later, but I will pray for you all the way to the hospital, and Wade, too. We will send you distance healing while waiting at the Ophthalmology Department. I will add a LOT more when I get home. Pain is my bedfellow, too.

You know I love you.


As you probably know already, @Grace, the FDA is on a rampage to stop illegal use of pain killers, and has actually stated that opiate treatment for migraine headaches is no longer approved for pain. This really has screwed me because now I have to go through all sorts of hoops and other treatments that supposedly will "help" my headaches- Now we are talking a whole host of an industry- physical therapy, psychological counseling, pain management (shots in spine,- not pain management at all), etc. All these trips and appointments have become almost a full-time job for Wade, driving me back and forth the one-hour trip to the Medical center. I sometimes have a migraine for eight days straight- pure, unadulterated agony unrelieved by any of the non-narcotic meds, self-hypnosis, etc. On top of that, I suffer from basilar, or hemaplagic migraines, which start in the brain stem. I am allergic to all the Imitrex-like products, and they would kill me anyway, because they would constrict the blood vessels down in my brain stem, thus shutting off my breathing and heart beats.

Now add to this these conditions: I have had three fusions in my lower back, which have stabilized the bone but have NOT relieved the pain at all. I cannot walk any distance at all- your question above says everything I would say about my back and what the pain prevents me from doing. I, too, long to just walk. I have running dreams all the time. I used to run the 400 in Track in High School; I was in dance and gymnastics, and played softball. My original back injury came from a fall down 24 marble steps at the front of our HIgh School. I was temporarily paralyzed, and my #$%^%&% mother refused to let the ambulance take me to the hospital to be treated. I was in agony for weeks. I suffered a serious car accident in 2008- a guy high on cocaine rear-ended me going about 80 mph. My seat belt nearly cut me in half. He hit me so hard that he pushed my stopped Jeep into the woman's car ahead of me, and took rubber off my tires.

On top of this, I am missing part of my right foot due to a MRSA infection which developed from stepping on a tack...I get random MRSA infections everywhere- They have eaten my left knee- that was in 1999-2001; right knee had both MRSA and a necrotizing bacteria which ate my upper leg and knee. My right quad is permanently split into two, which makes the knee replacement not work properly, and slides my kneecap way off to the right. That knee is always in pain, and swells, drains down my leg into a pocket on the side of my leg where the fluid collects.

I have severe arthritis in my spine, as well as stenosis, and cannot stand staright for more than two or three seconds.

In short, @Grace, I am a mess of pain, and I have absolutely no narcotic pain medicine to take for any of this- they will not help me.I was being helped in Mississippi, but since I have moved to PA, it has been nothing short of a nightmare of pain.

I believe that the FDA is more concerned with drug addicts and over-dosers, drug dealers and misuse-rs of pain meds than they are with people who are hurting, plain and simple. Banning opiate treatment for migraines is ridiculous.

I have decided to take action on this matter. I want to collect as many stories of chronic pain sufferers and their personal journeys through the mish-mash of our American medical system. @Grace, I would love to talk with you on the phone (my dime), and would like you to email me if you are interested in helping each other, and helping me with this book.

The American Medical System is failing badly, and needs a drastic overhaul.

This is my opinion based on the fact that I have cost insurance and Medicaid well over one million and a half dollars, yet I still hurt. My bill for just my right leg was $750,000 and my share was $54,000, which I cannot pay back. They call and call and call...I am on SSI and have absolutely no spare money to pay anybody anything. This month, we have no money for food.

Grace, we prayed for you as i promised, and I am glad for your dream. I run miles in my dreams, and it feels great. It is always sad to wake up to the pain and the confinement of a wheelchair.

Wade and I can do distance healing with Reiki. Email me if interested- this goes for anyone who reads this and needs healing.

My email is simply my name at yahoo. (jaianniah)

God Bless you and Keep you Happy, @Grace.

Love you,

Jai ♥


answered 16 Jan '14, 13:23

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 17 Jan '14, 04:14

Thank you @Jaianniah - good luck! :) Love you too!

(16 Jan '14, 15:48) Grace

Thank you, @Jaianniah. I really appreciate your prayers and distance healing. It looks as though we are approaching pain from different angles - I really want to give up on traditional pain management, although I do agree with you that migraine pain is severe and needs to be treated as such. I don't think I have ever really felt relief from migraine pain from any medicine now that I think of it... just the sort of top-note of the pain, if you see what I mean...

(20 Jan '14, 02:13) Grace

...For me, I am at a place where I want to work out why, or more importantly how I am manifesting chronic pain for myself, so that I can stop! I think I'm close. It feels a bit like a song you can almost remember, right on the tip of my tongue.... I am absolutely convinced I can manifest a pain-free life, and that folks here have the answer for me as to how I can do it, but I just can't seem to ask the question in the right way, or something...

(20 Jan '14, 02:15) Grace

...it's frustrating as hell, but I'm going to keep at it til I work it out!

Anyway, I've been meaning for a long time to send you a email about something else, so if you don't mind, I will take advantage of your kind invitation to an email chat very soon, and thanks again! :)

(20 Jan '14, 02:17) Grace
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