This topic is unsettling to me, yet still.

If someone (family, friend, spouse, etc.) says they totally accept you as you are, then why should one be asked to make adjustments to appease them "more."

I understand consideration, compromise, and give and take in relationships. However, when asked to do/not do something because it will make them that really total acceptance? Hmm. I don't know about that?

Any thoughts?

asked 28 Sep '12, 15:41

figure8shape's gravatar image


Total acceptance does not come from anyone else but yourself... When you fully accept yourself it won't matter what anyone else expects.

Undoubtedly as humans we make compromises to coexist. However, when compromises feel like self sacrifice they're no longer compromises. For any relationship to be healthy and happy you have to be willing and allowed to express how you feel. When you can do this with a willingness to listen, as well, to the other's point of view, either the relationship will thrive or will come to an takes both parties being willing to listen.

Defensiveness on either side will drown what is being said. And doing something to merely please someone else will never bring happiness to either party. Say and do what you feel is right for you :)


answered 29 Sep '12, 22:48

Michaela's gravatar image


Fantastic Answer! I didn't need to read beyond your first, and briliant, line.
(I did, however, read your entire answer)

(30 Sep '12, 09:04) The Traveller
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