Eventhough I have manifested some spectacular things in my life lately I realized that worrying has become a habit for me. I have been teaching problem solving and logical thinking for so long that it is now my second nature to start thinking of contingencies and worst case scenarios even for the most minor problems and try as I may I find it very hard to break this habit. I simply can't seem to shut up my logical side and want to take control. Any ideas on what I should be doing to break this pattern of thought?
asked 12 Jul '10, 10:13
I Think Therefore I Am
Being a worrier in the past,I empathize. It's not an easy habit to break but it can be done and really frees up a lot of energy when you let it go.
The key is to catch yourself as early as possible when worry first kicks in so you can nip it in the bud before your mind takes on that energy and begins to create those worst case scenarios in your head.
Worry is creating a negative future outcome in our minds so the more we worry, the closer we move that outcome into our physical reality. It's really using negative visualization , so what you really need to do is refocus and use that energy to create a positive scenario.
I'd suggest using another Abraham technique called the Pivoting Process.This process is advantageous when you realize that what you say or think is the opposite of what you want to attract into your experience.It's also beneficial when we're focused on the absence of what we want.
Quite simply put, the Pivoting Process is switching your attention from what you don't want to what you do want. Abraham suggests using a statement like "I know what I don't want, so what is it that I do want? when you first catch yourself worrying or thinking about something you don't want.. The more often you can do this, little by little, you will begin to redirect your vibration. You will begin to focus more on the outcomes you do want and every time you pivot and refocus your point of attraction will begin to change.
Another simple statement when you're feeling bad is I want to feel good. Find statements that are simple and work for you. The key to pivoting is to catch yourself with that negative thought or emotion and find a statement that helps to turn it around - again practice and persistence will pay off. Good luck:-)
answered 12 Jul '10, 13:20
Our minds have been messed with by various methods over time. Some of our behavior of constant worry is partly connected to that.
For example, if you have been watching TV and other dynamic media for a long time your mind has been slowly programmed to deal with information in a constant flow of small & ever changing chunks of information. Pay attention to the rate of change of the scene during any broadcast. You will find that every few seconds something new is introduced.
This brings our minds more and more to the outer surface where it is easily influenced by external input and further and further away from our internal, inspirational source. You are essentially operating in a constant state of helplessness because of the artificial separation from the proximity from your inner source. Your mind is never given the opportunity to gently settle on any thing. Instead, it is kept in a constantly jittery and nervous state.
It is a technique of mind exhaustion where you eventually relinquish your natural internal referencing ability of discernment and completely accept all data presented to you from the outside as truth. This technique is used by Cults, the police (for example, during cross examination), the military, and believe it or not the mass media (Which is possibly the biggest culprit of mind manipulation). These are only a few examples.
I believe that our minds were designed to help us externalize internal data.
So based on this information you can focus on two areas which will bring fast relief to your mind. First step is to reduce the rate of change of your thoughts in your consciousness. This is accomplished with reducing your exposure to constant flow of external data (TV, Movies, Newspapers, Internet, Cell phone, Blackberry, incessant and constant need to have a conversation) and learn to still your mind with MEDITATION. Remember that you can meditate by going for a walk while slowing down the rate of change of the thoughts in your mind. You can even do it while driving to work. You are not trying to get rid of any of these things in your life; you are trying to change the effect they have upon your mind.
Step2 is more important than the first step. You have to claim ownership of your worries as yours and yours alone. The moment the next worry appears in your mind pay attention to it and acknowledge to yourself that this is what is occupying your attention right now. Acknowledge that this attention within your consciousness is your choice and nobody else is responsible for it except you. Acknowledge that since this worry is occupying your attention right now and that it is your choice to give it attention; you are also responsible for the consequences of giving attention to this worry. Acknowledge that by choosing to maintain this attention, you are also choosing to attract the physical materialization of this experience into your life and that you are choosing to participate in this experience out of your own free will. Acknowledge that you are the one that is responsible for the future consequences of your current worry.
Only after this do you do an about change and choose to consciously let go of this worry by saying "But I do not want to experience the consequences of this current attraction (worry), therefore I am choosing to release this attraction from my life. I am no longer interested in attracting the physical manifestation of this worry in my life."
Make it a game instead of something that you are trying to avoid. See how many times you can catch yourself manifesting a particular worry within a particular moment of the day, for example when you are in the toilet or when you are taking a shower. (Because in these times nobody will distract you and a good substitute for a lack of time available to do meditation)
Meditation in this particular instance is to allow you to reduce your rate of thoughts in your mind. It is not for enlightenment.
answered 13 Jul '10, 03:46
MEDITATION: A simple Technique. Sit still and wait for the next thought. When you find yourself thinking something immediately identify it and then drop it as quickly as you can and return to the anticipation of the next thought. Break the habit of staying with the thought by daydreaming or riding the thought. So essentially the whole technique can be described as "The next thought" Slowly a gap between your thoughts will start to open up. Eventually the gaps will be wider than the thoughts.
(13 Jul '10, 04:45) The Traveller
I agree with You. What you described is the naturtal, truly strong and and imbatable way to set up the selfcontrol. But this technics have a core "defect" which take it unrealizable for everybody: it need the assumption if responsibility for the own life and cosciently going out of the comfort zone offered by victimization. You said about, but I wont underlining it. It is words about as named "to be dedicated to your goal". Once realized this process, nothing and nobody can hinder you. The interventions of I Think Therefore I Am inthis site show that the asker can do this.
(13 Jul '10, 08:36) Gleam
Hi Gleam. I like your observation "to consciously go out of the comfort zone offered by victimization”. That is a great observation. I agree that my answer won't fit everybody's needs. That's why, hopefully, there will be many answers here from various points of view.
(15 Jul '10, 10:41) The Traveller
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments
"Observe" yourself running through these best case/worst case scenarios, without letting it upset you, and then just let it go. Now you have already thought of the best and worst possible outcomes. Let that happen and then let it go. Don't bring it up in your mind again and again once you have already worked it out. If you visualize at all, visualize the best scenario and that that for granted. Don't revisit the other choices.
answered 12 Jul '10, 12:25
Maybe you need to look at what is the root cause of the problem . For example it could be an issue of control whereby you worry because you want to control everything in your life. However this would raise other issues such as lack of trust and faith in the Universe. Bottom line I think you need to re-examine your beliefs and find out what the underlying fear is.
answered 12 Jul '10, 17:39
another technique to breaking the worry habit comes from David Hawkins: he says "worry harder". If on a scale from 1 to 10 you're at about 3, take it to 10. Worry as much as you possibly can. When you pass a certain threshold, you'll realize how pointless worrying so hard is and you'll snap out of it. Same with many other habits, just overkill once and you'll snap out.
answered 12 Jul '10, 22:33
When you say "worrying", I'm a little unclear of what exactly you are talking about. Thinking about worst case scenarios and working through them is not necessarily a negative thing unless you are constantly dwelling in the worst case scenario. It could also be part of your personality in liking to look at all the details and thinking about possible problems to solve.
Having said that, I found this tool that has been very helpful for me since I am a person that gets caught up in details :). I can't find my notes on this tool, so I can't tell you who it came from, but it's basically a way to reboot your mind.
So first, you will get 3 separate notebooks or pads of paper and a something you feel comfortable writing with. This entire exercise can take a while depending on how much "stuff" you keep in your mind, so definitely do in a quiet place and for each of the 3 points, you will do until brain exhaustion.
It's amazing how helpful this technique is in just clearing your mind of everything that we seem to go over and over again in our heads.
If you find this does not solve the "worry" issue that you have and you really consider it a problem or issue, then I'd suggest doing something like EFT also known as tapping on it. You can go to http://www.thetappingsolution.com/how-to-tap.php or http://www.fastereft.com/. Both of these sites have a video that gives you the basics on how to do tapping. Most of all though, I'd suggest that you show yourself some compassion like you would a friend.
Hope this helps :).
answered 06 Sep '11, 13:38
I have a little song I sing in my head or I just use the phrase to voice my letting go of the worry or if someone else is worried Hakuna Matata http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6vLAa-kylM
answered 12 Jul '10, 21:03
No worries -- you may want to update your video @ursixx. Your link doesn't work. When I used to worry or have obsessive thoughts, I used a mantra I heard when Randy Pausch's wife was interviewed. Keep repeating - Not Helpful, Not Helpful, Not Helpful, Not Helpful. It worked well for me.
(26 Jun '13, 03:15) ele
This one has really helped me:
Philippians 4:6a 'Be anxious for nothing...'
'Be anxious for nothing'i?1/2" what an amazing feat that would be! 'Nothing' it says. We're not even given a little room to be anxious for a few small things. God is telling us that NOTHING is worth robbing us of our peace. Worry can become a lifestyle, a habit that shapes our attitudes and erodes away our faith. The habit of worry can gain such a stranglehold on your life that it becomes part of your personality. You find yourself approaching situations with an anxious attitude, and eventually it begins to rob you of your health and your joy.
Doesn't everyone worry? Maybe. Maybe it's even normal. But it is still a sin. Why? Because it violates some of the most basic commandments of God and because it robs us of a close relationship with Him.
C.S. Lewis, in his masterful book, "The Screwtape Letters" describes just how hard our enemy, Satan, works to cause us to sin. Written from the point of view of the demons, who regard God as the Enemy, he writes: [Senior devil Screwtape to junior devil Wormwood]: "There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human's mind against the Enemy. He [God] wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them worrying about what will happen to them."
If we can be kept worrying about tomorrow, then we are distracted from that which really matters. Anxiety and worry cause us to carry burdens our heavenly Father never intended us to bear, and to turn what in reality are small matters, better left to God and His wisdom, into heavy devastating circumstances. No wonder Jesus warned us about the "cares of the world" (Matthew 13:22)!
I know that it's easy to tell someone--even if that someone is yourself--not to worry, that it's a sin, etc. etc. But it is hard to put it into practice when you are accustomed to worry and your anxiety levels rob you of the strength to fight it. I liken it to athletic training or just getting into shape. There is an answer. Prayer and trust.
But sometimes all you can do is start with step one and utter a simple prayer asking God to help you pray. Then you step back, with no condemnation, and let His Spirit minister. Even if you don't feel it, you can know He is there. Every day, at every wave of anxiety, pull your mind away from the subject, think about Jesus and His love, and say a prayer. And every day you will grow stronger.
:Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." -- Corrie ten Boom
answered 17 Jul '10, 20:21
@Back2Basics welcome to tge community and I see you have been quite busy:-)I love the quote at the end.
(17 Jul '10, 20:40) I Think Therefore I Am
yes do deep meditation understand the meaning and put it to rest. once it is put to rest you will not have those though going around in your head. then you will reach dhyana.
In the early texts, it is taught as a state of collected, full-body awareness in which mind becomes very powerful and still but not frozen, and is thus able to observe and gain insight into the changing flow of experience. Later Theravada literature, in particular the Visuddhimagga, describes it as an abiding in which the mind becomes fully immersed and absorbed in the chosen object of attention, characterized by non-dual consciousness.
The Buddha himself entered jhāna, as described in the early texts, during his own quest for enlightenment, and is constantly seen in the suttas encouraging his disciples to develop jhāna as a way of achieving awakening and liberation.
One key innovative teaching of the Buddha was that meditative absorption (jhāna) must be combined with liberating cognition.
Just before his passing away, The Buddha entered the jhānas in direct and reverse order, and the passing away itself took place after rising from the fourth jhāna.
The jhānas are states of meditation where the mind is free from the five hindrances — craving, aversion, sloth, agitation and doubt — and (from the second jhāna onwards) incapable of discursive thinking. The deeper jhānas can last for many hours. Jhāna empowers a meditator's mind, making it able to penetrate into the deepest truths of existence.
Cessation of feelings and perceptionsThe Buddha also rediscovered an attainment beyond the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, the "cessation of feelings and perceptions." This is sometimes called the "ninth jhāna" in commentarial and scholarly literature.
About this, it is said: "Seeing with discernment, his fermentations were totally ended. He emerged mindfully from that attainment. On emerging mindfully from that attainment, he regarded the past qualities that had ceased & changed: 'So this is how these qualities, not having been, come into play. Having been, they vanish.' He remained unattracted & unrepelled with regard to those qualities, independent, detached, released, dissociated, with an awareness rid of barriers. He discerned that 'There is no further escape,' and pursuing it there really wasn't for him."
Someone attaining this state is an anagami or an arahant. In the above extract, the Buddha narrates that Sariputta became an arahant upon reaching it.
The meditator uses the jhāna state to strengthen and sharpen the mind, in order to investigate the true nature of phenomena (dhamma) and to gain higher knowledge. The longer the meditator stays in the state of jhāna the sharper and more powerful the mind becomes. The jhāna will sometimes cause the five hindrances to be suppressed for days With the abandoning of pleasure and pain — as with the earlier disappearance of elation and distress — he enters and remains in the fourth jhāna: purity of equanimity and mindfulness, neither-pleasure nor pain...With his mind thus concentrated, purified, and bright, unblemished, free from defects, pliant, malleable, steady, and attained to imperturbability, the monk directs and inclines it to the knowledge of the ending of the mental fermentations. He discerns, as it has come to be, that 'This is suffering... This is the origination of suffering... This is the cessation of suffering... This is the way leading to the cessation of suffering... These are mental fermentations... This is the origination of fermentations... This is the cessation of fermentations... This is the way leading to the cessation of fermentations.' — Samaññaphala Sutta The Buddha explains right concentration (samma samādhi), part of the noble eightfold path, as the four first jhānas. According to the Pāli canon commentary, there is a certain stage of meditation that the meditator should reach before entering into jhāna. This stage is access/neighbourhood concentration (upacāra-samādhi). The overcoming of the five hindrances — sensual desire, ill will, sloth and torpor, restlessness and worry and doubt — marked the entries into access concentration. This concentration is an unstable state where the mind becomes well concentrated on an object but it is still not yet a state of "full concentration" (jhāna). The difference is, in full concentration certain factors become strengthened to such a degree that they bring about a qualitative shift in the level of consciousness and the mind no longer functions on the ordinary sensory level. Access concentration is not mentioned in the discourses of the Buddha. However there are several suttas where a person gains insight into the Dhamma on hearing a teaching from the Buddha. Often their minds are described as being free from hindrances when this occurs and some have identified this as being a type of access concentration. The equivalent of upacāra-samādhi used in Tibetan commentaries is nyer-bsdogs.
At the state of access concentration, some meditators may experience vivid mental imagery (Pāli: nimitta), which is similar to a vivid dream — as vividly as if seen by the eye, but in this case the meditator is fully aware and conscious that they are seeing mental images. This is discussed in the early texts, and expanded upon in Theravāda commentaries.
Different meditators will experience different mental images; some meditators may not experience any mental images at all. The same meditator doing multiple meditation sessions may experience different mental images for each session. The mental image may be pleasant, frightening, disgusting, shocking or neutral.
As the concentration becomes stronger, the feelings of breathing and of having a physical body will completely disappear, leaving only pure awareness. At this stage inexperienced meditators may become afraid, thinking that they are going to die if they continue the concentration because the feeling of breathing and the feeling of having a physical body has completely disappeared. They should not be so afraid and should continue their concentration in order to reach "full concentration" (jhāna).
The Buddha and jhānaThe meditations he learned did not lead to nibbana. He then underwent harsh ascetic practices with which he eventually also became disillusioned. He subsequently remembered entering jhāna as a child, and realized that "that indeed is the path to enlightenment."
According to the Maha-Saccaka Sutta, the Buddha recalled a meditative state he entered by chance as a child and abandoned the ascetic practices he has been doing:
“I thought: 'I recall once, when my father the Sakyan was working, and I was sitting in the cool shade of a rose-apple tree, then — quite secluded from sensuality, secluded from unskillful mental qualities — I entered & remained in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from seclusion, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. Could that be the path to Awakening?' Then following on that memory came the realization: 'That is the path to Awakening.'
There are many different paths to Nirvana, but the most important one for us is the path of Dhyana. Dhyana is the practice of mind control by which we stop all thinking and seek to realize Truth in its essence. That is, it is the practice of “stopping and realizing.” If we cease all discriminative thought it will keep us from the further accumulation of error, while the practice of realizing will clear away delusions. Stopping is a refreshment of the lower consciousness, while realizing might be compared to a golden spade that opens up a treasure of transcendental wealth. Stopping is an entrance into the wonderful silence and peacefulness of potentiality (Dhyana—Samapatti); while realizing is an entrance into the riches of intuition and transcendental intelligence (matti—Prajna). As one advances along this path, he comes into full possession of all means of enriching himself and benefiting others. In “The Lotus Sutra” it says:
“Our Lord Buddha forever abides in the permanence of the Mahayana both as to his attainment of the realization of Truth and as to his enrichment with supernatural powers of intuition and transcendental intelligence. With these qualifications he brings deliverance to all penitent beings.”
We may liken these two powers to the wheels of a chariot and the wings of an eagle. If a follower has only one, he is led into an unbalanced life. As the sutra says:
“Those who only practice the goodness and blessings of Samapatti and do not learn wisdom are to be counted ignorant, while those who only practice wisdom and do not learn goodness and sympathy are to be counted as unbalanced.”
Though the errors eventuating from unbalance may differ from the errors of ignorance, they alike lead a person to the same false views. This explains clearly that if one is to attain Supreme Perfect Wisdom in an immediate way, he must hold the two powers in equal balance: he must be both prepared and ready. The sutra says:
“As intelligence is more especially developed by Arahants, the true nature of Buddhas is not perceived by them. The Bodhisattva-Mahasattva, by possessing the ten enlightening factors of permanence, perceived the true nature of Buddhas, but if they do not perceive it truly it is because of their laying too much stress on intelligence. It is only the Buddhas that perceive it perfectly because their powers of Samapatti and Prajna have been equally developed.”
Hence, in conclusion, are we not right in drawing the inference that the practice of Dhyana is the true gateway to Supreme Perfect Enlightenment? Is it not the noble path that all followers of Buddha must follow? Is not Dhyana the pole star of all goodness and the Supreme perfect Enlightenment?
If anyone thoroughly understands what has been said here about Dhyana, he will appreciate that its practice is not an easy task. However, for the sake of aiding beginners to clear away their ignorance and hindrances and to guide them toward enlightenment, we will aid them all we can by explaining the practice of Dhyana in as simple words as possible, but at best, its practice will be difficult. It would be absurd to present its profoundness otherwise. It will be explained under ten heads, which will be like the steps of a stairway that leads upward to Enlightenment and Nirvana.
Those who are really seeking Truth, but are more advanced, should not look upon this book with contempt because it is written simply and for beginners. They should be humble and prudent because of the difficulties they will encounter when they come to its practice. It is possible that some will be able to digest its teachings with great ease and, in the twinkle of an eye, their hindrances will be abolished and their intelligence will be boundlessly developed and so will their supernormal understanding, also. But if you just read over the literal meaning and do not enter into its significance, you will not be able to find your way to enlightenment—the reading will be just a waste of time. Such a reader will be likened to a poor man who spends his time counting another man’s treasures and being no richer for it himself.
“All the Buddhas attain their emancipation by means of their own minds, which are kept pure and transparent and undefiled, which are always fresh and clean, without strain of color, in all their six sense-fields. You, too, may attain the great Enlightenment.”
“Avoid all evil, cherish all goodness, keep the mind pure. This is the teaching of Buddha.”
Jesus said, "I shall give you what no eye has seen and what no ear has heard and what no hand has touched and what has never occurred to the human mind," Thomas 17.
experience and enjoy.
answered 07 Sep '11, 01:55
humen mind fixes itself in habitual patterns and becomes addict of feelings as well.to break this one must refuse to accept subconscious habitual patterns.If you refuse consciously accepting this,your subconscious mind will erase such feelings and creat happifeelings.try this method.
Affirm many times a day that"i dont recognise worry,i only recognise happiness." or you may affirm"i dont have time to worry.I enjoy happiness only."
Below thread may be useful for you.
answered 28 Jun '13, 00:58
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