Recently I was talking with Bill and asked him to do something. He said that he didn't want to. I yelled "You don't ever do ANYTHING you don't want to do, do you?" He smiled at me and said, "Oh my God, you FINALLY understand me."

I wanted to punch him. Can you go through life ONLY doing what you want to do?

I have seen people ask questions on Inward Quest about things in their lives that are troubling them a lot. The almost smug answer has been, "You MUST get yourself to a better feeling place to find an answer." Who are you kidding? How the hell can you just "feel better" when you want something desperately? Or turn it into a "no big deal" when it IS a big deal?


Oh, here is a good one! He says, "I care more about what I think about you than what you think about me."

Pow! Kick him!

No Court in the world would convict me. I think they would carry me out of the Courtroom on their shoulders, cheering!

There is a boulder in my path. I say, "Honey can you move the boulder for me?" He says, "Go around, or pick a universe where there is no boulder." Pow, punch, pow! Kick!

I guess the most infuriating thing is that it works for him! He laughs a lot, and I must admit that we have a really good life and relationship, and good things do weirdly materialize around him, us.

Would it make me feel better to hit him? Hmmm

I guess I could call it "Knocking some cents into @Dollar Bill!!"

asked 15 Jan '13, 07:34

No%20Brainer's gravatar image

No Brainer

edited 16 Jan '13, 06:06


@No Brainer Try this: feel free to punch him in his face as hard as you can. If he is seriously a LOA person he will immediately pick a universe where there is no such thing as punching or a broken nose.

(15 Jan '13, 07:45) releaser99

When a truly kind man does something, he leaves nothing undone. When a just man does something, he leaves a great deal to be done. When a disciplinarian does something and no one responds, He rolls up his sleeves in an attempt to enforce order ~ Tao Te Ching.

Well, since you display manipulative and control-freak like attitude, punching him would bring sort of relief.

(15 Jan '13, 07:55) CalonLan

And not to leave the wisdom unfinished...

Therefore when Tao is lost, there is goodness. When goodness is lost, there is kindness. When kindness is lost, there is justice. When justice is lost, there is ritual. Now ritual is the husk of faith and loyalty, the beginning of confusion. Knowledge of the future is only a flowery trapping of the Tao. It is the beginning of folly.

(15 Jan '13, 07:58) CalonLan

@No Brainer- yes i know exactly what you mean ... because i often feel like hitting myself for being so stupid, lol

(15 Jan '13, 08:05) blubird two

@No Brainer You reaction is entirely natural and you sound like someone with a great sense of humour - hope to see more of you on IQ. Update - five mins later -Just seen who you are - great one Anne. Bill always speaks warmly of you!

(15 Jan '13, 08:15) Catherine

Thanks for understanding!

and @CalonLan, you are also on my list (POW!) Just kidding, but thanks, I guess, for the obscure orientalism, whatever THAT means!

(15 Jan '13, 08:35) No Brainer

My short answer is that sometimes I do get ootv if one LOA'er is trying to tell others how wrong their thinking is>lolol. I don't understand how one can tell another that their path or decision is counter to say , abraham's teachings.

(16 Jan '13, 07:34) clearheart

@clearheart , it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this thought you just expressed . Why is it necessary for anyone to have to try and make their way the only way , methinks perhaps it's tied into ego/one upmanship ? Abraham says we are here for expansion . In which case isn't there room for infinite perspectives and thereby we have the joy of choosing which we like :-) I aspire to follow $Bill, lol

(16 Jan '13, 19:02) Starlight

This is such a good question. I enjoyed reading it and would have liked @Stingray to have written an answer :)

(07 Nov '15, 20:39) einsof
showing 1 of 10 show 9 more comments

There are many alternatives to ones universe. You possibly could explain to Bill that in your universe that your devoted partner would move the boulder for you because he knows you would do it for him if he asked you to.
In your universe when one is asked to do something there is not the the thought of not doing it because to do it is to please you and when your happy he can even be happier than he is now.
Partnership can be the highest form of co-creation.
Imagine what you could create together if you reached that harmonic balance!


answered 15 Jan '13, 09:02

ursixx's gravatar image


edited 15 Jan '13, 09:03


What a way to justify any crime, anything at all! *

"Hey, wazzap judge? Of course I mugged the old lady. Because in my universe old ladies are happy to be mugged and if I were one, I'd be happy to get mugged too!"

"Alright, mugger stays free, old lady goes to jail. Better happy robbers than grumpy old ladies roaming our streets.

(15 Jan '13, 10:04) CalonLan

Yup, gotta watch out for us senior citizens, we can get grumpy!

(15 Jan '13, 10:48) No Brainer

@ursixx he moves boulders often for me. Literally and physically, anytime I ask, or even if he perceives I need help. He likes the exercise. He also likes to drive forklifts and operate heavy equipment.

(15 Jan '13, 10:55) No Brainer

@ursixx, apropos, if someone told me that "the me" in his/her universe does something. I would tell the person not to bother me, but go bother the other me in his/her universe instead. lol.

(16 Jan '13, 01:41) CalonLan

@CalonLan **2Hey wazzup judge? of course we played with home owner loans and got super rich off them and then we foreclosed on them,and if I was a home owner I'd be happy getting foreclosed too."

"Alright,Mr investment banker stays free gets rich and thousands of home owners get foreclosed". Better to be happy investment banker than grumpy home owners"** Yea maybe your right @CalonLan

(16 Jan '13, 04:31) ursixx

My man moves boulders for me, he's awesome. We help each other a lot, however maybe not always in an instant timing. Sometimes we verbalize the desire and when the time is ripe the other sees the value of it.

(18 Jan '13, 05:16) clearheart

@ursixx "Partnership can be the highest form of co-creation." Nice!

(14 May '13, 07:05) Dollar Bill
showing 2 of 7 show 5 more comments

This reminds me of my relationship with Jaianniah. But I have learned that telling her to change her beliefs only makes her upset. So what we do is I have my beliefs and experience that I go through and she has hers. It does hurt to see the one you love suffer over and over again....

But I try hard not to rub the, "Why are you choosing to believe this about yourself -SALT into the wound." As she says it just makes things worse, she just wants support so I try to be supportive even when it upsets me seeing her get sick or hurt in some way over and over.

So I try to just be in my thought and beliefs and she in hers and that is how we get along. I don't think two can be exactly in harmony frequency, there will always be some dissonance there as both feel right, that is verbally called arguing which I won't do.


answered 15 Jan '13, 08:20

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 15 Jan '13, 09:42

@wade casaldi . . . Bill, that is @Dollar Bill, calls this "dissonance", "contrast"! But he says that he "values the differences." I like this! We often value the differences!

We have a very playful, but mutually respectful, relationship.

(15 Jan '13, 08:40) No Brainer

If you do choose to punch him, he will have attracted it into his reality. But also realize that the universe works for a reason, there are consequences.. :)


answered 15 Jan '13, 11:40

Kanda's gravatar image



@Kanda - He IS a lot harder than I am. If I punch him it brings to mind the old saying, "Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone, it is going to be bad for the pitcher."

I would just hurt my hand and he would laugh. We might both laugh.

(14 May '13, 07:10) No Brainer

@No Brainer -Oh, Anne, the stories we could share!!! I giggle to think of it!

I suppose that the "others" (our partners) would happily call this "cognitive dissonance" or some such silly nonsense! In truth, I would absolutely love to inflict some sort of bodily harm upon Wade's person from to time. I am also sure that he revels in his "tolerant endurance" of my foibles, absolutely sure that he is right, and that I will come to the point where I swing to his side, and admit that he was oh, so correct. Whereupon I roll over like a basset hound and ask for my belly to be rubbed (all is forgiven as long as I agree he was right)...).


I guess you could call us "Double Winners". Not only is he a believer in the LOA, but so am I. But what exactly we believe is, of course, the main source of many our conversations. Wade has been immersed deeply in esoteric and spiritual studies since birth. I have only just "recently" (2009 being the "recent" I speak of here) been involved in the LOA. I have Wade to thank for my involvement in IQ...our romance is spread all over these pages, and we now (insult) enjoy each other's lives in person! But my spiritual studies have gone on for years, too. I have been enjoying spiritual growth for 32+ years...I have just about completed my degree in Divinity... so we have many a lively and interesting conversation about this or that question from the annuls of IQ.

Case in point: Wade just found a pair of long-nosed pliers. He immediately assumed that someone female must have made them crooked, because men do not treat their tools that way. Not only is that horrible logic, but I told him thanks for providing me with fodder for my answer here!

"Love makes the world go 'round." I guess. And perhaps it should not be mixed with the LOA. But I think of tossing heavy objects at my love--just to prove a point. But I see the illogic of such behavior, sigh, and wish that there were more women here on IQ.

Hang in there. Truth be told- our viewpoints are necessary and important to the whole of Inward Quest.




answered 15 Jan '13, 10:49

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 15 Jan '13, 10:56


Ah I fell into your trap! I fully agreed with the term "cognitive dissonance" then read further to see "Or some such nonsense." lol ;-)

(15 Jan '13, 12:09) Wade Casaldi

Thanks for sharing your entertaining love story :-)

(15 Jan '13, 18:41) Starlight

@Jaianniah or Jai-ann(e)niah - maybe we are soulmates on some level! Seems our men get some very esoteric ideas and we help ground them in our reality!

But they are a lot harder than we are and punching does not seem a good option. Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone, it is going to be bad for the pitcher!

Love your posts, both here and all over IQ.

(16 Jan '13, 06:03) No Brainer

Maybe I'll get one of his books and make a little doll, hmmm just need some hair or fingernail clippings . . . . "Hey Dollar Bill, you want a haircut?"

(16 Jan '13, 06:05) No Brainer
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

@no brainer those that boulder for you represent @Dollar Bill why not change your representation of him to something that you will appreciate better.when @Dollar Bill meet me he was not dress properly in is white clothes he was seeking contendement and thing from the darkness outside him self.eventually he saw the truth and changed is way of being and drink some of my water now it as become in him a spring of water that he can use to grow in understanding and truth and find is way for you @no brainer why do you seek to contend with @Dollar Bill why do you want to punch him? what will it give you? will you understand him better? do you think that by hitting someone you will get a better response from them? or do you think that by opposing someone you will find something that help you? what is harmony is it contending? or is it working together?@Dollar Bill as some work to do and you also have some work to do. why not do it? do not be darkness but be the light that you can let there be light,experience and enjoy.


answered 15 Jan '13, 11:08

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 15 Jan '13, 12:49


@white tiger @Dollar Bill and I both respect you and find meaning in your posts. He has learned much from you. He and I do work together. There is little friction, and great harmony. Thank you for your loving knowedge and care.

(18 Jan '13, 05:09) No Brainer
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