I wake up in the morning and I literally have no idea what to do up until the time I go back to bed. This is why I keep coming back here and asking questions, I feel completely lost. I follow the path of least resistance, doing whatever I am motivated to do at any particular moment. What that results in is that my life consists of drinking Coke Zero and playing Starcraft. I literally uninstall and deleted it every day because I don't want my life to consist of that, only to re-download and re-install it again because I realize there is nothing else for me to do.

I feel like I am living like a dog, not a human being. When I try to break out of that, I am keenly reminded of my limitations. I try to meditate but nothing really comes out of it. I am actually not in any emotional pain, I just feel basically dead inside. I don't even feel pleasure from imagining a different life.

If there is such a thing as a "higher self", or even some external being (a God) to which I can turn to for help, how do I? I feel like I am not myself. I feel like I am in prison but I don't feel the pain of restraint anymore, it just feels like my soul gave up on life and there is only the animal aspect of myself remaining. Intellectually it seems wrong and although I don't really feel bad about it, I also know I am not feeling good.

asked 07 Feb '13, 11:02

flowsurfer's gravatar image


Be aware,Seek and you shall find ,know your self that is the basic of it.You do not feel the pain of restrait because you are not restrait you have free will.So use your free will wisely.Eventually you will find the water that great mirroir and see your self,if you continue on that path the 2 will become one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJHzO0Xf1Nc

(07 Feb '13, 12:29) white tiger

"Know your self", how exactly do I do that? You say we are made in the image of God and have power in one post and in the next you say the opposite.

(07 Feb '13, 15:23) flowsurfer

Where did you read that? Could it be that you did not understand what i said?

(07 Feb '13, 18:46) white tiger

try to combine sufism and shamanism. increased appreciation of your connection to nature will help.

(08 Feb '13, 21:34) don

run for 9 seconds as fast as you can, then stretch hands and arms out wide and take 3 deep breaths fully in and fully out. This practice raises chi, frees the breath, opens the heart and releases muscle tension and body armor. I believe this series of exercises can help raise kundalini, open the 3rd eye and illuminate our soul purpose. from: http://www.gaiaastrology.com/mythic-times/2013/2/8/going-out-of-the-signs-feb-4-12-primal-energy-training-john.html

(10 Feb '13, 20:05) don
showing 0 of 5 show 5 more comments

Inner guidance or inspiration comes to us a lot of the time when were not focused on the problem. We create a space in our mind by taking the focus of the problem and this allows the Broader You a space, to communicate to the little you through ideas and feelings.

Artists/ writers / musicians understand this very well. Usually, their creative ideas don't arrive when they want them to or when they are looking for them but usually when they least expect it - ie when they were not focused on it and allow the idea to come to them.

The best thing to do here is to create some space in your mind to allow the inner guidance to come to you. Most of us although we admit not knowing the answer are still very resistant to hearing other points of view. A part of us just won't budge. This is because the little you (your mind) is in the drivers seat and thinks it knows best. Don't get me wrong. The mind is a beautiful thing. It's just needs some guidance. On its own its a very limited perspective and cannot see the big picture.

It's sounds like you've exhausted all the options here and admit you don't know the answer. Why don't you give your mind a break. Get yourself in to a habit of making decisions by clearing your mind rather than filling it with more clutter.

Here is an exercise that's perfect for clearing some space in your mind. I use this short meditation frequently (most days once an hour): It's called One-Moment Meditation. Over time this short meditation deepens and you can take it anywhere with you. Please consider this short meditation as part of your daily routine. It only takes a minute and what have you got to lose? I'm not saying inner guidance will come to you while your in meditation but it will have more of a chance of finding you. It's fine if you reject this, it's just one more option for you. All I ask is for you is to consider who is doing the rejecting?

Thank you.


answered 09 Feb '13, 07:09

Satori's gravatar image


edited 09 Feb '13, 10:55


Nice one @Satori. I absolutely agree. "All human evil comes from a single cause, man's inability to sit still in a room." -Blaise Pascal

(09 Feb '13, 08:30) releaser99

@Releaser99 - Thank you and thanks for the quote:)

(09 Feb '13, 10:55) Satori

Lets look at the gaming first.

You can be addicted to gaming. It's a way to escape reality similar to drugs and alcohol.Treatment for video game addiction is similar to detox for other addictions, with one important difference. Computers have become an important part of everyday life, as well as many jobs, so compulsive gamers can't just look the other way when they see a PC.

"It's like a food addiction," Young explains. "You have to learn to live with food."

Because video game addicts can't avoid computers, they have to learn to use them responsibly. Bakker says that means no gaming. As for limiting game time to an hour a day, he compares that to "an alcoholic saying he's only going to drink beer." http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/video-game-addiction-no-fun

We know you are depressed (from your previous questions and comments).Your gaming might work as a help.Getting relief taking your mind off your situation and elevating your mood..a new high score ,leveling up rewards and such.
Then again, hours upon hours hiding away from your reality,( insert list of negative things you have stated on IQ )does not help.I am also a gamer as are a few IQ'ers are.One can be a gamer and not be addicted to gaming Just as one can drink beer and not be and alcoholic. It's when you decide its a problem is when you need reach out to help yourself.

When you talk about these Limitations(negative beliefs). Who put them there? Someone else then they don't need to be there.Don't let someone else decide who or what you are.(Unless they tell you how great you are!)
All change is done one step at a time. one minute at a time ,One day at a time.
Flowsurfer you a smart guy there is no denying that.
Just take the many small steps to change your life. Know your boundaries. Try for one hour to avoid thinking and saying negative things about yourself. and when you catch yourself , think the opposite Then do it for two hours and then three... next do one day....
There is a Positive flowsurfer.
Believe that!


answered 08 Feb '13, 06:53

ursixx's gravatar image


I am well aware that I'm using gaming as an escape. I used to be addicted to it but at this point it's not even that (I don't feel the need to game), it's just that I don't have anything positive to do. The limiting beliefs are a mixture of other people's opinions and personal experience. I don't know any small steps worth taking. I don't think negative thoughts that much, it's just that positive thoughts feel empty. What I feel is like I have been cornered by life and so I give up, game over.

(08 Feb '13, 08:11) flowsurfer

I am detached from my own life and just waiting for it to be over in the most comfortable way possible. I would "fight" for it but I don't know how. I've heard all the stuff and it just doesn't make sense to me, I don't know how to apply it on a moment by moment basis. The paths that are in theory open to me feel completely worthless. Even the dreams I had don't motivate me in any real way anymore because I can't really believe in their reality anymore.

(08 Feb '13, 08:16) flowsurfer

There is really no better way to describe this than the feeling of being defeated and realizing there is no point doing anything because it's game over. I would have to force myself to feel hurt but it doesn't feel like there is anything left to do. I don't see hope in any course of action or where I could focus on that would make any difference.

(08 Feb '13, 08:25) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer when you play the game,you like to win ,But if there is no challenge you get bored,yes sometime you loose game over,But you learn from itstart over and get better at the game.It is the same thing in your life.You faced a challenge but did not learn from it and did not try again.So what do you need to do?

(08 Feb '13, 08:52) white tiger

@white tiger You tell me. What do I need to do? Because I keep trying to figure that out.

(08 Feb '13, 10:27) flowsurfer

In the game, everyone starts with the same resources. If you lose the match, you start over from scratch. You don't have to carry the mistakes of your previous matches with you, every match is a completely fresh start. The only way this would relate to real life is if I could get a fresh start through suicide. I've heard it's possible but I'm not eager to test that idea.

(08 Feb '13, 10:40) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer you have free will to decide what you are going to do,What is sure is that you need to do something and need to take a step in the good direction. But for now you are stalling not knowing what to do.It is your game you are the one learning from it,Why did you fail?Why did you not try the challenge again?Is there to much challenge in this game you have played and want to try another game?If so go out take a walk and seek and you will find.Since your main problem for more then 1 month-

(08 Feb '13, 10:45) white tiger

was finding a job. And you where trap in self pity,I am to shorth they will not take me i want this but i cannot have it,no one understand me,you want to hurt me,etc... Do you think that you are the only one on this earth having challenge? Do you think you are the only one on this earth not being understood?do you think you are the only one on this earth not always having what he wants? Solve those question and go out take a walk seek have faith and you will find.

(08 Feb '13, 10:52) white tiger

What are your ressource right now? what are your skills? the past is pass the future is now. If you would be employer would you employ your self?what is the employer looking for in employe?can you be that?Would you employ someone that as no faith that self pity himself and wants to end is life? What do you need to change?You need to help your self no one else can make that decision for you,you have free will.Use it wisely.

(08 Feb '13, 11:19) white tiger

My main problem was not "finding a job". I have no interest in a job. I have zero motivation to get a job or work at anything at all. If you handed me a job on a silver platter, I wouldn't take it.

(08 Feb '13, 11:24) flowsurfer

Well if your choice is make about not getting a job,then why do you complain about not having a job?Is that not self pity?You have free will,Why seek someone to blame?What do you want to do?You want a change so make that choice no one else can make it for you get to know your self,and you will make a better choice.

(08 Feb '13, 11:45) white tiger

I never complained about not having a job. I may have mentioned it but it was never a complaint. I don't care that I don't have a job, I care that I don't have money. I don't think I really have the power to make any choices. Oh sure, I can choose which words to type here. I'm talking about choices that actually matter.

(08 Feb '13, 11:47) flowsurfer

Well if you want money you need to find a job but you do not want one.So you create your own problem and complain about it.Do you think you are the only one in this world having to make that choice?about 90% of the world population have to make that choice but you do not hear them complain do you?You want to be one of the 10% that as money with out working because they inherit money or fraud or enslave other people making them work for peanuts to make them make money for them.Do you think that-

(08 Feb '13, 12:30) white tiger

it is better?those are 2 extremes of the same problem.i recommend for you to read about the buddha it might wake you up a little bit.

(08 Feb '13, 12:37) white tiger

I would not put it that way, but if you want to, ok. Yes, if I have to make the choice, I would much rather be on the 10% that enslaves than on the 90% that is enslaved. That is actually one of the main reasons I don't want a job. I am not willing to be on the 90% of people who are resigned to the fact that life sucks; if life sucks, why should I make any sort of effort for anything at all?

(08 Feb '13, 12:58) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer do you think that that 10% is not having a bigger problem? They never did anny thing on their own with out the 90% they stop to exist game over. take the money from one of them and say to him you live like every one else,they will have to learn to clean their stuff,repair their stuff,cook,get a job. Also right now they have money and power that is what many want on this planet and they are ready to kill for it. so you see as long as this imbalence exist the problem stay the same.

(08 Feb '13, 13:53) white tiger

going in to extremes and having division does not help anny body.Unity is the real strenght,money is men creation.What does it give to a rich person to store money in the bank when he dies the money he cannot take it with him.Should he not make a good use of that money when he is alive? Those that have the money are able to solve some of the world problem poverty,sickness etc... they need to work with the 90% to find solution. as long as their is division and abuse how can annything work?

(08 Feb '13, 14:09) white tiger

@white tiger So what you are telling me is that you are communist, is that it?

(08 Feb '13, 16:30) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer : your right jobs suck. I don't have a job. But i do have a place that I go to for about 36 hours a week with some real cool people and they pay me to be there. Its great! change your definition!

(08 Feb '13, 17:02) ursixx

@ursixx And what is this place? And how do I find one that fits my personality?

(08 Feb '13, 17:18) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer you judge and blame me. But all that comes from you and you cannot define or even fathom what i am.And to the mesure you judge also will you be judge.Why do you want to hide your self behind the word communist,it did not help the united state and it will not help you also.Look at what happened with Ousama benladen. The united state help him because they where afraid of communist and he turned on them saying now usa is the ennemy.The only ennemy is the darkness in you.

(09 Feb '13, 02:28) white tiger

@flowsurfer that place could be anywhere. It's all about defining your expectations. And don't worry about you finding it. MAKE YOUR EXPECTATION THAT IT WILL FIND YOU! I bet you had a desire to have someone to talk about how you were feeling and you could express yourself and get an honest opinion before you came to IQ. Remember that feeling? that feeling brought you here. Apply the same feeling to your quest for "A place to go to that they pay you to be there"

(09 Feb '13, 03:10) ursixx

@ursixx Thanks.

(09 Feb '13, 05:51) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer : glad to help bro :D

(09 Feb '13, 09:57) ursixx
showing 2 of 24 show 22 more comments

In the name of Allah, the most compassionate most merciful. Thank you for sharing your feelings , i know what you're going through is hard and you feel drained out. The truth is, why dont you cry your heart out for the creator, dont callon prophets or angels or priest, just call out to God at night all by yourself. Cry your heart out to Him,and tell Him everything, absolutely everything. I ask Allah to lift your pain, and every good heart and to fulfil our hearts and life by His guidance, dont give up, remember God in time of prosperity and hardships, remember those who are troubled and God will remember you when you're troubled. know that the darkest night promises a coming of a bright new day, Ameen.


answered 07 Feb '13, 16:22

springflower's gravatar image


edited 07 Feb '13, 16:24

I have tried calling out to God when I was in pain. There was no answer. There is no pain right now. I just feel empty.

(07 Feb '13, 17:05) flowsurfer

You feel empty and have no pain, good you are less confuse and less in the extremes right now.Time to meditate be aware and get to know your self.If you are in pain you would not hear God,you have problem earing people around you.When we try to help you you think we oppose you,hurt you or attack you.You need to find the place where you are at peace in you and outside of you.

(07 Feb '13, 19:02) white tiger

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. first step.

(07 Feb '13, 19:04) white tiger

@springflower-appreciate your veiw point.

(08 Feb '13, 00:01) Zee

Very good @springflower When you seek God with all your heart and all your soul you are going to find him.smile. The hard part is making the heart and soul pure. it require patience and resolve.take over 40 days.

(08 Feb '13, 01:50) white tiger

i feel sure that your prayer will assist the situation, thanks springflower

(08 Feb '13, 08:31) ru bis
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.

If you smile through your fear and sorrow,

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shinning through for you.


It takes a lot of energy to suppress our natural flow of energy and create such a state of depression, i wonder what you think about to put yourself in such a state - what is this inner conflict, like a whale and an octopus locked in combat? - a small smile takes a tiny effort and can work wonders.


answered 07 Feb '13, 12:57

ru%20bis's gravatar image

ru bis

edited 08 Feb '13, 08:29


When the sun shine that snow will melt and that heart will beat up once again.smile

(07 Feb '13, 14:25) white tiger

I'm just tired. I'm particularly tired of smiling. I'm adrift in life because every attempt I made to take control just showed me I have none. I can't feel hope anymore so nothing beyond the immediate moment matters.

(07 Feb '13, 17:11) flowsurfer

Well you have just typed this comment so you have some control.If you are talking of control of other people free will then i agree with you,you have not much control over that.But the only person on who you should have control is your self. you say:I can't feel hope anymore so nothing beyond the immediate moment matters. What is your hope?And yes the immediate moment is now.very good place to start.

(07 Feb '13, 18:52) white tiger
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

you are undergoing a transformation that will bring about greater awakening. you are invited to explore your being in a more "playful" manner. investigate different subjects and methodologies. expand, explore, experiment, and experience.

These are the 12 steps as outlined in the book The Twelve Step Journal, by Claudette Wassil-Grimm, M.Ed..

1.We admitted we were powerless over our addiction/compulsion - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2.We came to believe that, like all human beings, our power was limited and we needed to learn to let go and learn from others.

3.We made a decision to let go of control, assume a spirit of goodwill, seek the wisdom of responsible others, and discover our true "voice within".

4.We made a searching and fearless inventory of our strengths and weaknesses.

5.We admitted to our journal, ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6.Were entirely ready to listen to wise counsel and seek that still small voice within to guide us to change our behaviors which have been harmful to ourselves and others.

7.Humbly began the process of deep change so we could overcome our weakness.

8.Made a list of all persons we have harmed, became willing to make amends to them all, and to forgive those against whom we have held grudges.

9.We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so whould injure them or others.

10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11.Through meditation and journaling we continually seek to clarify and improve our own judgment and to consider the best direction and purpose our lives can take.

12.Having developed deeper wisdom and an appreciation of the spiritual as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs. http://www.12step.org/steps/the-twelve-step-journal.html

surrender with passion, playfulness, perseverance, perception and purpose

T.H. White, in the Sword in the Stone, tells us the story of King Arthur as a boy..

The wizard Merlin, as Arthur's tutor, schooled the boy in wisdom by turning him into various creatures and had him live, for brief periods, as a falcon, an ant, a wild goose, a badger, a carp in the palace moat .... The time came when the new King of All England was to be chosen; it would be he who could draw the sword from the stone. All the famous knights, who came to the great tournament, went to the churchyard where the stone mysteriously stood, and tried mightily to yank out the sword that was imbedded in it. Heaving and sweating, they competed to prove their superior strength. No deal; tug and curse as they might, the sword did not budge. When the disgruntled knights departed to return to their jousting, Arthur, who was just a teenager then, lingered behind, went up to the stone to try his own luck. Grasping the sword's handle he pulled with all his strength, until he was exhausted and drenched. The sword remained immobile. Glancing around, he saw in the shrubbery surrounding the churchyard the forms of those with whom he had lived and learned. There they were: badger, falcon, ant and the others. As he greeted them with his eyes, he opened again to the powers he had perceived in each of them — the industry, the cunning, the quick boldness, the perseverance ... knowing they were with him, he turned back to the stone and, breathing easy, drew out the sword, as smooth as a knife from butter. source

Mary Stewart’s book The Hollow Hills: Merlin takes the young Arthur into a chapel where he finds a sword fused to a stone altar. Merlin’s key lesson to Arthur is “Don’t let your passions destroy your dreams, train your passions to serve your dreams.” .. Having learned this lesson, the young King Arthur can draw the sword from the stone. source

run for 9 seconds as fast as you can, then stretch hands and arms out wide and take 3 deep breaths fully in and fully out. This practice raises chi, frees the breath, opens the heart and releases muscle tension and body armor. I believe this series of exercises can help raise kundalini, open the 3rd eye and illuminate our soul purpose. And it can be done in less than a minute. My experience is it's easier and more effective early in the day and is a great quick starter first thing in the morning.

Raising primal energy to soul purpose is key to realizing our unique calling and purpose in the world. When enough of us (the hundredth monkey) experiences this then the fabled feathered serpent flies and the global kundalini will rise, this is the prophecy. This will be accomplished in the 2013 Year of the Snake. The planetary activation began during those numinous dates 21-23 Dec 2012 when the Sun aligned with our newly active galactic center. source

you are in state of self-judgement. what you judge you resist. what you resists persists. One of the meanings of the word "Islam" is surrender. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrender_(religion)

increased appreciation of one's connection with nature facilitates transformation.

From an Islamic standpoint, science, the study of nature, is considered to be linked to the concept of Tawhid (the Oneness of God), as are all other branches of knowledge. In Islam, nature is not seen as a separate entity, but rather as an integral part of Islam's holistic outlook on God, humanity, and the world. Unlike the other Abrahamic monotheistic religions, Judaism and Christianity, the Islamic view of science and nature is continuous with that of religion and God. source

also http://www.islamawareness.net/Nature/view.html


answered 08 Feb '13, 16:20

don's gravatar image


edited 21 Feb '13, 07:52

i especially love the phrase "run for 9 seconds as fast as you can, then stretch hands and arms out wide and take three deep breaths fully in and out"

(13 Feb '13, 02:59) ru bis

Dear flowsurfer

i agree what spring flower has said.keep in mind that a person has to bodies.one is called soul and other one is physical body.as we require food to servive and remain healthy physically,our soul also requires food to remain in peace.in this materialistic world we are running after one thing to other just for peace of mind.but nothing can provide lasting peace except remembrance of our Creator.beacuse soulf's food is the remembrance of Allah the Almighty. as great muslim spiritualist ALi once said" that needs of every body are met but wishes never". so actually your soul is craving for its food.thats why you feel empty and cannot find peace in any thing.

the key to lasting peace of mind and heart clearly stated in teh holy Quran as"Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest". so i will advise you to read Holy Quran and muslim sufiism so taht you can find real purpose of life and peace of mind.


answered 08 Feb '13, 00:17

Zee's gravatar image


is it possible to practice sufism without a teacher? i believe that relying upon one's "internal teacher" is best.

"a science whose objective is the reparation of the heart and turning it away from all else but God". Alternatively, in the words of the Darqawi Sufi teacher Ahmad ibn Ajiba, "a science through which one can know how to travel into the presence of the Divine, purify one's inner self from filth, and beautify it with a variety of praiseworthy traits".

(09 Feb '13, 14:52) don

@don-no you cannot practice your own without guidance of a teacher.because in this way hundreds of satanic traps waiting for the person who travel this path..so find some teacher.It is very difficult path and not very easy.

(10 Feb '13, 11:06) Zee

at present you can read sufiism our sufi poets like Rumi etc but practicaly find a teacher.

(10 Feb '13, 11:07) Zee

thanks for the info Zee.

(10 Feb '13, 20:01) don
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

Hi flowsurfer,

It's so nice to see all these loving and informative (!) answers. I will have to go back and read them for myself.

But, just to start on a more "basic" level. I saw that you said you drink Coke Zero. Recently, I discovered that the artificial sweetener, ASPARTAME, can cause severe mental health issues. It can also cause more serious physiological illnesses, like brain tumors/cancer, MS, etc., There is good video on Youtube (free) called "Sweet Poison". There are also numerous websites on the subject.

I used to drink so much diet coke. Lots and lots and lots. I didn't think it was a big deal, because hey, no calories right? I also take anti-depressants and ADD medication. However, I was noticing it didn't seem to help. Well, I spend alot of money on my medication because I don't have insurance. And, I am getting "tired" of adding on more pills because that's all the doctors will do. Prescribe this to supplement that.

So, I started thinking, maybe I need to start "taking away" things or essentially, detoxify my body.

Alot of unhealthy, processed foods can cause us to feel sluggish, depressed, etc., Luckily, I don't eat alot of that, but the artificial sweetener had to go!

So, consider cutting down on diet soda and eventually getting rid of it from your diet altogether. For me, I do feel less sluggish, less toxic. I do still drink coffee and crash from that, but hey, one step at a time.

Just remember, you're starting on the right path. Be patient with yourself, and you will soon find your spirit again. I did. I pray you will, too. :-)


answered 21 Feb '13, 15:17

OceanSize's gravatar image


Coke Zero is one of the few things that makes me few good. I went through periods of many, many months not drinking any and feeling like crap. Then I got a few bottles and immediately felt much better, including improvement in a health condition. I don't drink normal soda because the sugar makes me feel sick. There is precious little pleasure in my life. If I don't have that pleasure to sooth me, things don't go well at all.

(21 Feb '13, 17:38) flowsurfer

Diet soda is just today's version of beer, wine, tea and coffee. In a hundred years you'll see newspaper articles talking about how they discovered amazing health benefits from aspartame and they will be selling aspartame supplements at every health store. If I could choose exactly what I ate, I probably wouldn't care to have coke zero. There are many things I like better. The problem is that I can't so this is pretty much my only "luxury" in life.

(21 Feb '13, 17:46) flowsurfer
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