It's very hard for me to word this as in my current state i'm completely lost. As a kid things worked out perfectly but maybe that's the joy of being a child and being taken care of by you parents. As i grew up and started going to high school I had everything I wanted, and situations I wanted just materialized. For example: I wanted a girl friend and being chubby and completely shy to open up didn't stop me as by random luck/fate I met this girl and she opened up to me and things just worked out against all odds. Any decision I made would end up being for the best. I don't know if it was my mindset or what but I was happy. I knew things would always work out.

Then as I went into college and realised that things always worked out for me, things started to go very wrong. It would be say a one year period of complete chaos. Plans just never working out, and by that I mean the simplest plan. You might think I'm over reacting but I couldn't even plan where I was going to go party that night. Either the original party would get cancelled, my friends would decide they wanted to go to a new place or something would happen. You might say this only happened cause I expected it to, but in the beginning I completely believed the opposite. It's just that was totally not what was happening in my reality and my beliefs changed to model my reality.

But through all this one thing I've noticed is whenever I got to a point where I gave up all hope and would get angry and abandon all hope things would work perfectly for the next week or until I got normal which was very quickly cause I'm a happy go lucky person at heart. But as soon as I did things went back to normal. Once again, I only got this belief after 4 years of the same thing happening over and over. It was like life pushing me to the edge and then when it was a do or die situation it would help me out.

I'm from a spiritual asian culture but am a science student and this is a massive disconnect. Now I do not know what to believe as science completely rules any of this out but my intuition doesn't. I'm scared to think positive cause I know what's coming next whereas when I think negative things work. My core belief that god/universe/world is watching out for me has been completely shaken.

I have read about negative manifestations, but I'm not talking about the opposite happening. It's something I have never expected happening all the time. It's fun when it works for me, but that's 1 week every few months which does NOT help.

I'd love for any one of you to give me any insight into this. Anyone to tell me how to resolve this disconnect, how to get back to who I am and bring about the opportunities I want and deserve. Life has given me talents, drive and intelligence but for the past 4 years it just has been messing up the situations. Maybe it's trying to tell me something and I'm not listening. Please do let me know what you think or want to know more :)

asked 26 Mar '13, 18:22

dave12's gravatar image


edited 27 Mar '13, 03:42

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Dave, hang in there. If any people can help you, it's these people!!! I will send out a prayer....Jai

(26 Mar '13, 19:34) Jaianniah
(26 Mar '13, 23:05) Grace

@dave12 What are your 3 favorite movies and what are the last 3 movies you watched?

(27 Mar '13, 00:30) flowsurfer

@Jaianniah: I've been reading other posts and you really seem to care a lot about people! Thank you soo much!

@Grace: That's very insightful. It's almost what I'm talking about.

@flowsurfer: I honestly don't remember cause I watch a lot of obscure movies with friends. It's really hard for me to chose but I do enjoy thrillers/action movies and psychological movies. Maybe that's why I enjoy drama and my life is one? I love to have stories but not when they're going against me :)

(27 Mar '13, 23:44) dave12
showing 1 of 4 show 3 more comments

@dave12- I'll tell you this...You've made a decision to solve this issue and transform it. Decisions are humans greatest power tool, so I can honestly expect some energy to be shifting about in your life because of this.

I wouldn't limit yourself by "waiting" for the perfect answer to come specifically to you via this website, via this question. How about a fail-proof recommendation?

  • Find a time when you are feeling really good. On this website, many refer to this as The Vortex
  • During this period of emotion, contemplate this question you have posted. Re-read it, and just remain in that good feeling. Music certainly seems to keep me in The Vortex for sustained periods of time, perhaps add in some tunes during this period.
  • Your answer will flood to you through a mixture of imagination, odd thoughts, quotes, flashbacks at some point in time when you are feeling good. If you are new to metaphysical concepts, you are going to struggle with this last point that the answer randomly just comes to you. A scientific-based background may translate this as "thoughts from your subconscious mind" or something similar. The point is, you will just know the answer when it comes to you. It cannot be explained until you experience it yourself.
  • To couple on from that last point, there is a good chance you may feel inspired to do something, often unrelated to finding the answer, as which the answer will come. A conversation with a friend may linger on insight to what you desire to know, for example.

Getting lost in the archives of this website is something I'd get you to do. There are alot of ideas on this website that I am yet to discover on other open forums that have helped me out with my practical, day to day living experience.


answered 26 Mar '13, 20:27

Nikulas's gravatar image



For some reason this answer just resonated with me. It made me feel really good and I was happy as long as it lasted. I had a chance meeting with a person that was fun and then I started going, "oh great now it's going to go downhill"...and then I had an internal battle saying I need to stop doing that and things will be different. You can guess what happened next. :(

(27 Mar '13, 23:47) dave12

Yes I wrote a question similar to this a while back. It was how best to use fear and worry for good. What we fear or worry about comes to us.

It comes even faster than working on faith. This is because a fear or worry is absolute faith beyond even a smidgen of doubt.

So the strange thing is if we fear what we want, we pull ourselves towards what we want.

I really need to start fearing, "That I will have so much money in the bank, that I won't know what to do with it all!"


answered 26 Mar '13, 19:21

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 26 Mar '13, 19:28


How do you fear something unless it's truly something you do not want?

Surely you cannot lie to yourself/universe/god/etc.

(27 Mar '13, 23:48) dave12

@Dave12 There are all kinds of fears. Different people fear different things similarity these people with opposing fears haveis they are human and they believe they will get what they don't.

I one time feared and myself healthy.

I thought what benifit does this sickness give me? I thought of the benifit, a break time off, then I started fearing and worrying that the sickness wouldn't last and I would have to teach my meditation class. I taught my meditation class the next day healthy.

(28 Mar '13, 21:18) Wade Casaldi

There is no life worth living, were there is only pleasure without out pain. Not many people who talk to you will agree but right now is the point in your life where your unhappiness is not with out great cause. You as they as the bible says are going through the dark night of the soul, are more commonly walking trough hell to get to heaven.The negative zone is a the transition in life to a higher path of mental and spiritual maturity;the best places on Earth are ones which require travelling the most unpleasing paths, do not be alarmed. If you didn't have these rough times a head your life would be of those guys who have a fairy tale life of pleasure with minimum pain then in there 40s break down because they find out there is no meaning and fulfillment for they have never suffered for what they love are desire, devaluing all appreciation of true life in the process . This struggle is what truly allows you to become the man you want to be, so look at yourself in a new way, this is the a new test of life, one that requires courage, focus, and love to overcome. God will continue to put negative obstacles in your life, from out of now where; rather you have a positive are negative psyche, be vigilant, see them when they come and know this is life is not meant to go are way often enough it goes completely against it, but no matter; the day you give in to a negative scenario is the day you stop becoming a stronger man and become a weaker soul. To reduce the negative energy that will subconsciously help to manifest more obstacles.. Brother meditate I can not streets this enough, especially for you right now, I was constantly depressed and at the verge of suicide until I began to meditate you are in a different scenario but it will still help drastically! Final words of wisdom man, your not living unless your living with love, rather it be love of others, your self are your dreams.Love and pain are synonymous, so cherish the love and honor the pain.


answered 27 Mar '13, 00:23

Prophet%20Uknown's gravatar image

Prophet Uknown

Hi.. I feel the anxiety you are experiencing. I feel the comparing of yourself to others experiences is not of any concern to your life experience. It will only keep this anxiety going.. Start looking at what is good within you. Even if its the simple-est thing. Start loving you, start appreciating some things you take for granted. Be thankful, & acknowledge as much as you can these good things as being an extension of you. I recommend, "Ask and it is Given" by Esther & Jerry Hicks, Chapt 22 list the 22 levels on the Emotional Scale, & at the top is Joy, & at the bottom is fear. Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real. Our thoughts with feelings create whatever we focus our attention on. Start focusing on the goodness, joy, love, & be supportive of yourself. You are worthy of having whatever it is you wish for. Let go of the inner chatter that is not supportive of your wishes. These are just old programs. Be awake up to your true birthright. You are a conscious creator, not a programmed robot. You can shift your energy (thought) to a higher frequency anytime. Be supportive of yourself, & be easy on yourself. Love yourself unconditionally. We are each a reflection of our thoughts (energy) Be the person inside you, that you want to see outside. LOA always mirrors back our feelings. Follow your BLISS, & keep Joy always.. with love :) Tommy (this is taken from a previous response I just left for someone that asked a similiar type question, and I felt this response would be of some help :) Tommy xo


answered 27 Mar '13, 07:07

Tommy106's gravatar image


Thank you and I used to listen to Ester and Jerry until I started feeling it was too far fetched and they were just marketing it. Then I just couldn't listen to them anymore without judgement.

I just see it as ask for wtv you want and you'll get it. Oh you don't have it, then obviously you don't believe it. Never do the methods come under question. Seems like a cop out to me. But apparently it does help a lot of people. Maybe i'm looking at it the wrong way?

(27 Mar '13, 23:53) dave12

As far as what you mentioned with not being sure if you believe in the Metahphysical side of the world after spending time going to college in a Science field as well, I can totally relate to you as I just went through the same thing recently.

I went into a very Heavy logical only thinking field for my education and I remember the funny thing was that I was worried that this would somehow change my beliefs in everything that was spiritual to me, and it did after 3 years.

I remember coming out thinking to myself how surreal all those beliefs were and how hard it was to even conceive them because my mind now had such a strong understanding of physical logic and technology of what is possible. Regardless of my new thinking, a situation as you were describing of how I noticed a pattern of events always happening to me that I seemed to have very little control of that were always almost gauranteed to happen in the same fashion everytime would always occur when I acted in the same certain way. These kinda events would just kind of stare into my face like there is indeed such thing as Quantam Mechanics whether I wanted to believe in it or not. Because there was no other way to explain it.

Long story short, I have learned that Quantam Physics/Metaphysics is like the Calculus of math in this Universe. Physical logic is like in a way elementary math (2+2=4). You cannot solve problems in Calculus with only an elementary math format of thinking and understanding.


answered 28 Mar '13, 16:00

ikaruss21's gravatar image


If you don't mind sharing, what do you believe in now?

Did you manage to figure out how to control those patterns?

(28 Mar '13, 16:28) dave12

For me I have come to realize it is as analogous to as two sides that make up a coin. However, I do believe that if I were to examine it even further and we were to be 300 years in the future with better technology to "take a microscope" to examine what we know today as Metaphysics, I am most sure that we would see that "Physical logic" rests upon the logic of what we are now calling Metaphysics and not the other way around.

They are both the same thing, but we just understand the physical..

(28 Mar '13, 17:03) ikaruss21

..one better for the most part.

As far as the patterns, its hard for me to explain it in 500 character limited responses in the comments, but i will try.

No. Some things are reoccurring regardless of what I do because I feel like perhaps you have "Pre-made Agreements" that have to happen and take place to you in order for you to grow you into a higher perspective is my best guess. These events will keep repeating themselves until you fully change, but then it will happen once more,

(28 Mar '13, 17:14) ikaruss21

even after you have fully changed, kinda like a test. The moment will recreate it once again one last time to test you if you really have changed and if you respond to the "what feels just like what happened to me last time" situation in a different way like then how you previously did before, the pattern is finally broken. I have found that an entity name Bashar talks about this and this is called your "echo."

I will try to find you a link to the exact video where he is describing it...

(28 Mar '13, 17:17) ikaruss21

Booya, found it :D


I think after 2:09 is where he starts talking about it. This is an excerpt btw from one of his videos so it might be really out of no where for you when you first watch it if you have never seen any of his videos before. Hope this helps you :)

(28 Mar '13, 17:26) ikaruss21
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