I guess I am talking about psychosomatic illness when I speak of such situations. Our minds and bodies are connected, after all.

How does one overcome such fear or anger that it actually makes you ill? What steps do you take?

Finally, when you think that you are a failure because you let such a situation get you down, how do you pick yourself up by the bootstraps and overcome the bad feelings and get back on track?

Any advice would be most helpful!



asked 13 Jun '12, 09:49

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 13 Jun '12, 16:04

You have all given such excellent answers, and excellent comments, too! Thank you so much! Jai

(14 Jun '12, 12:50) Jaianniah

Last year I was sick often due to a coworkers relentless dumping her problems on me. I confronted her and she stopped. Now she is starting again, I am not sick this time but feel bad. So I'm going to remind her again, gently and kindly but firmly. I enjoyed the time off and I definitly know that it feels better when she's not dumping on me.

(16 Nov '12, 02:49) clearheart
showing 1 of 2 show 1 more comments

For me, the key is keeping my composure and living in the moment. When I say living in the moment, this can apply to almost any situation.

Financial problems? Do the best you can and don't worry about the future. In this very moment, there is no reason to lose peace about it, and nothing more you can do than enjoy the here and now.

Someone at work has hurt your feelings? It is already in the past. Don't keep replaying it in your mind since the past is already behind you. And we all know that the anger of others often has nothing to do with us at all. Keep your composure and enjoy something in the here and now. Enjoy the view from your window, look at some flowers, or go get a treat to eat.

These are just a couple of examples!

Best wishes.


answered 14 Jun '12, 09:01

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

PS- Eckhardt Tolle has many good books about enjoying the now and reducing worry. I have benefitted from all of them.

(14 Jun '12, 10:42) LeeAnn 1

Thank you, LeeAnn! I have such trouble with fear sometimes. The answers to this question have helped me, and I hope they will help others, too! Great answer.<3

(16 Jun '12, 06:58) Jaianniah

The answer to our problems is not in the past nor in the future, it is Now. Pain and suffering come from the illusion of the past and future. When we go digging around in the past for the reasons we are in pain now, we find more and more reasons to be in pain now. So to heal the hurts from the past, simply be present. The past can't hurt you if you don't enter the illusion.

There are many tricks for being present. I have come up with one based on what I have learned from all my studies. I call it Two Hands Touching. Put the palms of your hands together and close your eyes. Ask yourself quietly in your head, "What do my hands feel like?" Don't name the feelings, just feel the answer in your hands. Don't try to think or not think, just feel your hands. Do this for at least 30 seconds and as long as you want/need. Do it as often as you think of it throughout your day. You can combine this with affirmations. State your possitive affirmation outloud, then do the THT. For example, "I am perfect and whole and free of pain." then do THT. See this question for more affirmations. Find one that resonates with you and change it to fit you and your needs.


answered 13 Jun '12, 11:12

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

No it isn't so much I need to be in the present because at the present I have tons of bills and not much money. I know that James Arthur Ray would say "That is who you were not who you are." Quote from "The Secret" But when you get calls and bills constantly saying, "We want our money, don't make us take you to the debt collectors!" You feel overwhelmed and want out of life so you get sick. Good news I am getting better but that doesn't solve the situation.

(13 Jun '12, 16:12) Wade Casaldi

I feel like I am symbolically chocking to death financially. Every time I even think of my finances I start chocking physically not able to breath because my throat gets blocked. Coughing and chocking my allergies get triggered.

(13 Jun '12, 16:20) Wade Casaldi

Have you tried doing Two Hands Touching for this? Try something like, "I have a wonderful work, in a wonderful way, I give wonderful service, for wonderful pay!" or something from this page on prosperity http://www.conures.net/shinn/wnd_3.shtml

(13 Jun '12, 18:44) Fairy Princess
(13 Jun '12, 22:28) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess Thank you so much! I know I led you to Florence Scovel Shin, but when you have so much debt it is like blinders on. I am so glad you found the exact page I need! God is answering me through you and now my Bible Study tonight could have been by Florence Scovel Shin, it was all about the power of the words we choose to use. I need to look at my bills and my calls from my creditors as reminders to Thank God for taking care of this for me then trust he is!

God bless you & thank you.

(13 Jun '12, 22:47) Wade Casaldi

One more thing I wrote in my Bible study note book, "Your Word Is Your Wand" (Florence Scovel Shin) because we were talking so much about the power of the words we speak. I log on here and find not only a link to Your Word Is Your Wand but the exact page I need! :-)

(13 Jun '12, 23:02) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi, I was in the same situation as you are financially speaking. As a matter of fact I still am. Living from paycheck to paycheck, tons of bills and debts. It went so far I "had" to use my money for food to pay the bills. And while I had enough money to buy as much food as an average person, it was not enough for me. If I were like others and ate 2-3 meals a day I'd be fine. But I want to eat 6-7 meals a day instead. Over time, with psychology and philosophy understanding I made up my

(14 Jun '12, 03:08) CalonLan

mind and decided to not use my food money for no other thing but food. My health and sufficient amount of nutrients and vitamins which produces great feeling is far more important to me. I may have bills and debts, but I don't care. Even to the point that I might not be able to pay if some extra payment appears. But no1 thing on the list of "had to be taken care of" is me. Good food and workouts - give you a great body. Reading and philosophies a great mind. Everything else comes after.

(14 Jun '12, 03:13) CalonLan

@Fairy Princess - Have been using your "Two Hands Touching" and it really works for me!

(14 Jun '12, 09:22) Dollar Bill

@Dollar Bill I am glad to hear that! Please share result and feedback here http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/52113/would-you-test-my-new-technique-for-everything thanks

(14 Jun '12, 09:33) Fairy Princess
showing 2 of 10 show 8 more comments

This question made me catch my breath this morning. I had been feeling the need to ask the same thing recently. Just a few days ago, I had to leave work because I had made myself so ill by being upset. My whole body hurt and I just couldn't cope with the pain and the nausea it brought with it. The worst part is the fact that I knew I had done it to myself.

As far as I have been able to figure, the only thing, the only thing, I can do to start myself in a different direction is to begin to distance myself from the circumstances that are dragging me down, even if it's only for a short period of time. It seems impossible when the negatives are basically being shouted in your face, but this is just where I've got to go with this. I knew this already, and I know you do, too, but when you're in it up to your neck, sometimes you just can't see the forest for the trees, so here's where I start...

You cannot change what you don't want into what you do want by concentrating on what you don't want. The only way out is to focus all of the attention and energy you possibly can muster on the positive things in your life. I know I feel foolish and even hypocritical when I am ready to break under the pressure and frustration of it all, but you CAN do it - even just for a moment at the very least. Then... You do it again. It will build upon itself; it will snowball.

What does Stingray say? I'm pretty sure he's quoting Abraham - It will come through the crack of least resistance; the miserable feelings are your resistance to the provision and well-being that is always flowing to you. This is where the all the good things will come from. Open that up just a little bit, just for a short period of time, and it will begin to change things.

To make it a reasonable goal, I have sometimes even scheduled a set time for this practice; consciously decide do it for only say, from 7:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. tonight... No thoughts but the good thoughts. Loving relationships, comfortable home, the loveliness of the natural world around me... Anything, anything at all that you can appreciate, and just dwell on it, milk it as much and for as long as you can. Shut out all the other stuff. Just for this time.

You will start the ball rolling that will attract more of the circumstances you want, the ones that got you all of the good things you do have in your life in the first place, and less of the ones that are causing the frustration and illness. And then... You do it again. It gets less and less difficult to do.

I hope this helps. I'm sending you a ton of good wishes and positive energy.

Just one more thing... Remind me of this post when I'm in that bloody forest, will you please? :)


answered 13 Jun '12, 18:20

Grace's gravatar image



@Grace-That negative emotion is trying to tell you something.Just be careful not to suppress negative emotions (pretend they are not happening) Grace.I used to do this a lot and it always has a bigger pendulum effect.You see when you turn away from Negative emotion or wage war on it you actually strengthen and prolong it.That emotional charge will always rear it's ugly head until you face It...

(13 Jun '12, 19:16) Satori

@Grace-There is nothing wrong with feeling how you feel whether it be fear and anger.There is validity in that.Feeling everything unconditionally had been a revelation for me.Now I don't have to 'try' to feel good anymore.:)

(13 Jun '12, 19:16) Satori

@Satori, thank you, that is very true, and I appreciate your advice. It is important to balance these things. I guess I'm thinking here not about pretending it's not happening, but about getting myself starting on changing it. :)

(13 Jun '12, 19:38) Grace

Thank you Grace good advice, Jai wrote this for me because she has been having a hard time with me because I let financial ruin, ruin my health. I am on my way back though! :-)

(13 Jun '12, 22:56) Wade Casaldi

Satori - your comment at the top is very interesting - could you elaborate? For example, do you use EFT to get rid of the negative emotion?

(14 Jun '12, 03:43) English Rose

@Grace-Good for you Grace.I wish you well,You will get there:)

(14 Jun '12, 05:00) Satori

@English Rose-Yes I have used eft in the past and I still use Stingrays  Focus blocks method as well.

But now when negative emotion comes up when I get the chance I drop the story that caused it and just observe the emotion.Negative emotion cannot survive in you PRESENCE. Its something I never done before.I always suppressed it.This is part of the work in the 10 week programme in The Presence Process.

(14 Jun '12, 05:01) Satori

@English Rose-It also has a breathing meditation Technique called conscious-connected breathing.This is done twice daily for 15 minutes.You Breathe Evenly  with no gaps repeating the words I AM HERE NOW IN THIS with each breath.

(14 Jun '12, 05:01) Satori

@English Rose-When we consciously connect our breathing, we are anchoring an aspect of our awareness in the present instead of allowing all of it to drift into either the past or a projected  future. Consequently, instead of all our attention leaving the present and journeying to some of these “places in time,” some of these “places in time” are drawn toward us. They are pulled into the present moment and integrated.This unconsciousness can manifest as negative emotion or physical problems.

(14 Jun '12, 05:03) Satori

Satori - WOW - thanks so much for sharing that and I can't wait to get the book now.

(14 Jun '12, 05:50) English Rose

By the way - the book gets a solid five stars from six reviewers on Amazon.co.uk - I throw that in because one reviewer mentions it didn't get such positive reviews on Amazon.com. One reviewer describes it as the best self-help book ever and he/she sounds like an expert! A little off topic from your original question Jainnaih - apologies.

(14 Jun '12, 06:09) English Rose

Sorry I have mispelt your name Jaianniah - apologies again!

(14 Jun '12, 06:10) English Rose

@English Rose-Hope it serves you well:) On the the contrary I think @Jaianniah would benefit or anybody who takes part in "The Presence Process"

Here is something Michael Brown wrote about psychical illness.He actually healed himself of Hortons syndrome through this integration process

(14 Jun '12, 08:06) Satori

"Years ago through the observation of my own symptoms and those of others I started integrating that, just like the universe on a daily basis, my body was talking to me. Through observation and experience it became clear that my body’s symptoms were manifesting as a way of gaining my attention; it was trying to bring my attention to what I was unconsciously thinking and feeling....

(14 Jun '12, 08:07) Satori

@Satori How would you compare The Presence Process with The works by Frank Kinslow- Beyond Happiness, The Secret of Instant Healing, and/or The Secret of Quantum Living? Didn't you read at least one of those?

(14 Jun '12, 08:09) Fairy Princess

Most of these unconscious thoughts and feelings were related to the past or the projected future, but my body was recording their effects in the present moment so that I could observe them as tangible physical events. Hence THE PHONETIC LANGUAGE’S interpretation of the word ‘symptom’ is some time...

(14 Jun '12, 08:12) Satori

According to this definition ‘symptoms’ are simply pieces of time we have not yet integrated being mirrored in our body right now. This is another reason why it is not necessary to journey back into time to know what is going on with our emotions and our thought processes. All we have to do is read the body as it is now. This is simply a process of learning our body’s language."

Michael Brown

(14 Jun '12, 08:13) Satori

@satori - Does the Presence Process use the Transformative Breathwork type breathing as I see from the internet that he talks about the lady who pioneered that technique? In short, do you have to breath through your mouth into the lower part of your abdomen as in TB? Also just using that technique how are your subconcious emotions released - by floods of tears and a negative feeling or by a feeling of peace - what can I expect?

(14 Jun '12, 10:58) English Rose

@Fairy Princess-I have read all Frank Kinslows books and actively practise QE.I started the Presence Process  before I heard about QE( thanks to you) .These processes actually compliment each other.I think they are in a way the same thing.Through both these processes, especially the Presence Process you are gradually increasing and shining the light of your awareness, ( present-moment -awareness).....

(14 Jun '12, 11:08) Satori

...into and integrating those unconscious parts of us (emotional  charges)that start in early childhood and manifest and create negative  emotions/situations/ and psychical problems right through our whole life.

Im actually almost through The Presence Process.It is very effective and I would highly recommend it.Ive seen a clear positive difference in myself and the way people act towards me.Best thing I have ever done:)

(14 Jun '12, 11:10) Satori

How would it compare with my Two Hands Touching? Thanks

(14 Jun '12, 11:26) Fairy Princess

@English Rose-this link seems to describe it very well.

http://www.the-energizer.com/breathing-exercises.html http://www.thepresenceportal.com/how_we_breathe.htm

unconsciousness pulled into our awareness through this meditation seems to manifest as sleep.Youll find yourself slipping into a sleep like state very quickly without warning.You will come up with excuses not to do it sometimes.And you might have an uncomfortable feeling during some of the meditations.

(14 Jun '12, 11:32) Satori

@Satori - I have spent most of my life struggling with depression, and I am a professional over-thinker. I have to be careful not to wallow in negative thoughts, but I don't want to create that pendulum swing you mentioned (and I am very familiar with it, it's awful). That balance I mentioned, it is difficult for me. This conversation you've been having with all these folks is priceless. I need to get on Amazon and do some shopping. Thank you, thank you all so much.

(14 Jun '12, 12:56) Grace

@Wade Casaldi - Jai loves you big time. You can do anything. :)

(14 Jun '12, 14:27) Grace

@Satori Just wanted to thank you for the link - Like Grace, I too recognise the pendulum swing only too well - by the way The Energizer (the link) looks good too.

(16 Jun '12, 06:33) English Rose

@Satori How does the benefits of The Presence Process compare with the benefits of THT? I do not end up doing long processes. That is why I like THT so much because it's quick and easy and I can do it anywhere, any time.

(16 Jun '12, 10:35) Fairy Princess

@Grace @English Rose- glad the links were useful for you:) Yes this pendulum effect happens when we keep turning away from negative emotions.They start to shout a bit louder after a while trying to get our attention until it gets extreme.Then we are left with no choice but deal with them.

(16 Jun '12, 12:22) Satori

@Fairy Princess- You are right, The Presence Process is no quick method but truly worth.Its a ten week programme made up of meditations,conscious responses and texts.But what I like about it is it's a programme that your given, you do it exactly as it says on the tin without adding your own agenda to it and each time you do it you come out on the other side a lighter, fresher, more authentic You.

(16 Jun '12, 12:23) Satori

It goes deep releasing emotional charges right back to early childhood.I have gotton flashbacks of memories long forgotton.I'm seeing big changes and I'm only on week 8 .The process accumulates a lot of present moment awareness and its starting to have a knock on effect and compliment other processes I do.:)

(16 Jun '12, 12:27) Satori
showing 2 of 29 show 27 more comments

Jaianniah, fear melts in the light of understanding. Anger is a product of unfulfilled desire. Desire is ultimately cause of all suffering. But again, understanding or educated knowledge destroys suffering.

Lets assume you fear of staying on this planet and so you want to leave. You got a hammer and nails and desire to build yourself a spaceship. You will get angry very quickly as you realize that you can't build a spaceship with hammer and nails. And you will suffer greatly. But understand what it takes to build a spaceship and your anger will go away. Or perhaps understand this planet and find possibilities of living your life in your way on it and your fear will go away. And so will your suffering.

In your reality there might be only one way of how to go about things. Which may be very frustrating just like hammer and nails in the example above. But if you take you time and learn about other possibilities, you find new ways.

So there you have it, educated knowledge/understanding is the key to progress.


answered 14 Jun '12, 03:32

CalonLan's gravatar image


edited 14 Jun '12, 03:34


You said, "Jaianniah, fear melts in the light of understanding". Oh, what wise words! Thank you so much for such an insightful answer. <3

(16 Jun '12, 07:01) Jaianniah

Love this thanks CalonLan Jai is right they are wise words.

(16 Jun '12, 09:49) Paulina 1

I have found this method most effective recently.


It is called Salt water treatment. It is very easy and you can do it yourself to remove negativity.


answered 22 May '14, 03:49

Perfection's gravatar image


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