When you can't find help and feel completely stuck and like the feeling is permanent and unchangeable, regardless of your mood and you just want to explode but even exploding doesn't help and you don't know who to reach out to, what to read or listen to, what to do at all, what to think, where to focus, where to find hope, how to apply advice, who to trust, or how to live on a moment by moment basis and this isn't something transitory but a state you feel has lasted all your life and you are tired of doing things you think will help and that maybe give you a burst of relief but you don't actually break free and find yourself just as frustrated and restrained as always... How do you break free?

asked 28 Mar '13, 01:38

flowsurfer's gravatar image


edited 28 Mar '13, 13:14

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

I'm a huge fan of Oprah; but I prefer Tolle's take on Surrender. Perhaps this quote will help & maybe this is why you said to me "it was not up for discussion." I've never found or known your God.

(28 Mar '13, 01:57) ele

SURRENDER "God can dream a bigger dream for me, for you, than you could ever dream for yourself. When you've worked as hard and done as much and strived and tried and given and pled and bargained and hoped...surrender. When you have done all that you can do, and there's nothing left for you to do, give it up. Give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself, and let it then become a part of the flow."~ Oprah

(28 Mar '13, 01:57) ele

Did you note Oprah uses the word "flow" in both quotes I posted? If your reading Cal, just smile & move on.

(28 Mar '13, 01:59) ele

@ele, I really want to say "I don't understand how someone...", but I understand. Meh, it sometimes saddens me, I can't just argue to oblivion like I used to. That was fun. Of course I could do that but then I get tired of it, cut it in the middle of conversation, because I know where it's going and it leaves the other person hanging rather disconnected - like - wait we're not finished? Ye we were finished before we even started. lol.

(28 Mar '13, 02:49) CalonLan

@ele, but for the sake of illustrating the point I'll go there. So, I don't understand how someone can feel the need to imagine something bigger than himself and persuade himself that this bigger whatever is taking care of him. By imagining something bigger you sneakily and voluntarily diminish your own value. People don't have enough self respect and self worth to start with, and they top it, by creating an imaginary supreme beings. Then they put all the power into their hands. And believe...

(28 Mar '13, 02:52) CalonLan

...that these supreme beings will take care of them.What?First put oneself down,then give your power away.Can you say fear of taking responsibility for your life?For each cause you make and consequence of the cause that follows.You can throw a ball and it will fly through the air.Do you say, oh that wasn't me, a god guided my hand...I'm part of the universe and the universe is within me.There's nothing greater than I already am.And I don't need to be saved, cuz there's nothing to save me from.

(28 Mar '13, 02:56) CalonLan

@ele... My death will be the result of my life that I've led. Period.

(28 Mar '13, 03:01) CalonLan

@Calonlan ahhh self-realization is great isn't! There is no spoon. http://goo.gl/Du63g

(28 Mar '13, 03:11) ursixx

@CalonLan You misunderstood. I was talking about what you said once to me about meaning & how I took it too far, point of being absurd, which at the time was the point. As for what you said, I agree. That's why I don't understand flo or where he is coming from. With the exception of AA & Born Again Christians & Jesus Freaks (no harm intended) I've never heard of such a thing. I had 12 yrs of religious ed too & read a bit on the side. You got it -"cuz there's nothing to save me from".

(28 Mar '13, 03:15) ele

how do you break free of the feeling of powerlessness? find the power within

(28 Mar '13, 05:52) ru bis

I'm feeling really good. A kind of calm euphoria. Love? I'm not sure how that happened. Maybe I'm bipolar?

(28 Mar '13, 10:48) flowsurfer

I'm crashing emotionally. And no, I haven't deprived myself of sleep yet. I'm back in despair and feeling like the good feeling I had was just a stupid illusion. I feel hopelessly trapped.

(29 Mar '13, 23:43) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer keep feeling the love . . . keep the feeling alive & your vibes will change . . . you will emit love & love will be reflected back. It's not that hard. Think loving thoughts - read loving words.

(30 Mar '13, 01:18) ele

@ele What do you even mean by love? What does its reflection look like?

(30 Mar '13, 01:48) flowsurfer

@flo Do you have any little people in your life? I love little people & I'm going to be spending most of the weekend w/ some of my fav little people plus a few new little people. Happy Bunny Day. Love ya...

(30 Mar '13, 02:35) ele
showing 0 of 15 show 15 more comments

Read the free E-book "Living Deliberately" by Avatar.epc Star's Edge International.

I you want to feel back in power start living deliberately. Don't do from habit but do everything by conscious choice.

Even the things you choose to expect, choose consciously. Notice every thought you have that is something you don't like or want.

Immediately say to yourself "I choose!" or "My choice!" then consciously choose what you do want to experience.

When you catch yourself fearing, realize you are making a choice then choose what you would like to happen.

You can even Command if that helps you to expect.


answered 28 Mar '13, 13:13

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

Yes, live deliberately as Wade says, however if you don't want to wade(pun intended) through the e-book he proposes, in other words, if you prefer the short sharp treatments, here's a short list of helpful ideas (yes ursixx yet another list, i love them!).

1-choose your work
2-stop hanging out
3-eat deliberately
4-actively help others
5-give yourself an allowance
6-have mini tasks ready for unexpected downtime
7-play hot potato with your to-do's
8-cut the fat
9-back up your data
10-capture your memories
11-get out of debt
12-physically push yourself
13-never stop learning
14-be a proactive sleeper
15-dream big with every intention of pursuing


alt text


answered 28 Mar '13, 14:45

ru%20bis's gravatar image

ru bis

edited 30 Mar '13, 14:40

ursixx's gravatar image


up, up & away in my beautiful, my beautiful balloon. s. A very gentle way to go into orbit..

(30 Mar '13, 01:22) ele

yes @ele i'm with you all the way, the view is beautiful

(30 Mar '13, 02:00) ru bis

Believe it or not; I have a bit of fear of heights. If I don't take a balloon ride I opt for my magic carpet...

(30 Mar '13, 02:38) ele

yes i can see it now, the dark silhouette of a witch with a pointed hat and broomstick flying across the twinkling night sky on a magic carpet lol

(30 Mar '13, 04:01) ru bis

@ru With the exception of the 'twinkles', which I loved - your comment hurt my feelings & you made fun of my fear. I shared a very intimate part of me with you. Represented security. Magic Carpet Ride was a song from your ERA ~ Stephenwolf. OMG, I just looked at the lyrics. lol! The only words I recall are "magic carpet ride" - I was just a little girl. I always explore the cosmos either in a balloon or on my magic carpet. Are you the one who wants to take me away?

(30 Mar '13, 04:51) ele

You can't fly on a broomstick & ride on a magic carpet at the same time! Geez!

(30 Mar '13, 04:52) ele

precision; my comment didn't hurt your feelings/you felt hurt by my comment and you felt as if i was making fun of your fear ... in my mind i was making fun of my own fear

(30 Mar '13, 05:09) ru bis

@ru bis Correction - I forgot, I'm pursuing you. Do you want to go on a magic carpet ride with me? The Up, Up & Away song is from your ERA also - 5th Dimension - pretty song which I remember the words too.

(30 Mar '13, 05:23) ele

ok let's go now, we can do anything in the imagination :)

(30 Mar '13, 05:25) ru bis

@ru I need 5 min's.. Ye, of little faith - I'll be right over & you better be ready to ride..

(30 Mar '13, 05:40) ele

i love the ride bit lol ... is that a promise?

(30 Mar '13, 05:51) ru bis

It's a list now ;) copy, paste and print!

(30 Mar '13, 14:41) ursixx

@ursixx yes i've copied, pasted and printed x 3 and teleported to all plants ;)

(31 Mar '13, 01:35) ru bis

@ru bis lol! naughty - naughty - it's Easter. There just wasn't a graceful way out of that one. Let's start over. You said " i'm with you all the way, the view is beautiful". You want to go up, up & away with me? Take my hand & we'll see how it goes. (psst, you have to get off the computer long enough to enjoy) BTW, did you note no's 14 & 15 on your list?

(31 Mar '13, 02:11) ele

@ursixx I haven't been able to copy or paste for a week or two anything on this site. I assumed they were protecting the site. I was surprised to find I could copy & paste this list; but nothing else. (not that I wanted it - just checked after ru said he did) How are you guys able to or what is going wrong on my end?

(31 Mar '13, 04:42) ele
showing 2 of 15 show 13 more comments

First of all, I want to recognize your deep pain and frustration with your life.





Please try to take in what I have to say:

Where you are is an illusion created by your mind. Let us call it depression, for lack of a better word. It may not be depression, but let us call it that.

This depression you think has hold of you, but actually, YOU ARE HOLDING IT SO TIGHTLY THAT YOU CANNOT LET GO.

A man falls over a cliff. He manages to stop his fall by catching hold of a branch. The branch he believes has saved his life. He cries out to God.

"Help me, Lord. I am scared and want to get down safely."

The Lord replies, "Then let go of the branch."

Flow, you need to do the opposite of everything you have been doing. You need to just quit thinking and live. You need to sleep, to eat, to play music, to write, to function without thought or judgement. Let go of that branch of self-judgement, and just live.






answered 28 Mar '13, 01:51

Jaianniah's gravatar image


I don't want to sound like I am dismissing your attempt to help but that makes me feel worse and even more deeply powerless; I cannot even find a way to express why or how but it is like a sensation of falling unexpectedly, that gut feeling, but deeper. Trust me when I say I know what you are advising me to do from personal experience and it is not doable, it causes panic, terror, confusion and even if emotions settle, total paralysis and apathy because everything becomes meaningless.

(28 Mar '13, 02:10) flowsurfer

@Flow, you need to do the opposite of everything you have been doing. You need to just quit thinking and live. You need to sleep, to eat, to play music, to write, to function without thought or judgement. Let go of that branch of self-judgement, and just live - Breathe. Listen to Jai! The voice of Sanity & Reason.

(28 Mar '13, 03:17) ele

Honey you have forgotten the rest of that story. The man would not leave go until he found out when the sun came that his feet were dangling only four feet from the ground. He held on in fear and pain all night long not trusting to let go.

(28 Mar '13, 05:39) Wade Casaldi

Thanks for caring @Jaianniah everything will be alright with me, and with you.

(28 Mar '13, 12:27) flowsurfer

@flow- I am soooooo glad to hear it! Thanks.....I have been so worried about you! Sending you Love and Light, Jai

(28 Mar '13, 12:36) Jaianniah

@Jaianniah Don't worry, be happy! :)

(28 Mar '13, 12:58) flowsurfer
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