Okay I desire to gain clarity on this. If I am in a relationship or married or whatever, and through my contrast I am releasing rockets of desires and my vortex becomes my preferred desires which will manifest when I allow it so...

How can it happen?

I know none of this matters, but I am confused in what to do if I have doubts and feel that I have different new desires which have expanded from the contrast. To me feels that there is a relationship in my vortex that is more to my preferred desire.

I know I can just accept what is and find relief and feel better about what is, and I will do and have been, I am just wondering how it works? For example if I find relief and feel better about my marriage and find relief and feel more and more better, what decides if I continue this marriage or attract a new relationship which is more to my preferred desires?

Because the vortex holds all my preferred desires right, and surely an existing relationship which I gained contrast from, can only morph into my preferred expanded desires so much before someone else is more of a crack of least resistance?

Does it depend on how strong my desires are? So lets say I find relief about my marriage, feel better, in what ever way I can with what ever negative feelings come up over time, what decides if I stay or attract a new relationship that matches my desires? In me feeling good about my marriage but have strong desires for more or something different, is that what decides if I stay or move on?

Thank you guys for your help, I desire to gain clarity, find relief and feel better with what is now and the direction I am moving towards. I appreciate it.

asked 22 May '13, 13:56

ALI6NMENT's gravatar image



This is a good question. i wont be posting an answer because frankly ive been asking myself this for the last 6 months of so. I think a lot of people find themselves in this situation, i have! I hope we get a raft of answers for this one. The question deserves it.

(23 May '13, 03:52) Monty Riviera

I had this question too and I couldn't get it out of my head.

"Are these LOA teachers kidding me? I should make peace with where I am and trust that I will then get my new red car? When I make peace with my old car, logic says that I'm giving up my desire! Logic says that when I accept my old car... I don't need a new car! Why should I trust the universe? When I make peace with my old car, the universe could trick me and I wouldn't even notice it! I wouldn't notice it because I would be at peace with where I am!" :)

It's kinda like saying: "lend me money please! You will get it back as soon as you are dead." :)

But it's not like that. It's not like that at all! :) To understand this, we must first understand the universal principles. You will always get what you want when you make peace with where you are. In fact, you can't go back. The universe will deliver it to you.

Because the vortex holds all my preferred desires right

You are almost correct. You experience contrast and your spinning vortex becomes the solution to the contrast immediately. So your vortex holds the solution, the fulfilled desire, not the unfulfilled desire.

Here is how it works.

Step 1: By experiencing contrast you ask automatically. A "negative" experience (in your marriage) causes you to ask and send a rocket of desire into your vortex. By experience contrast you send a vibrational message to your Vortex: "Hey universe, I don't want x. Instead, I want y."

Step 2: Your Vortex answers and says: "Alright @ALI6NMENT, your wish is my command. It is done." And it is done in the moment you ask. Again, it is done. The perfect solution is done. And the really cool thing is that you can't even imagine what the perfect solution is. It is often way better than you think. Why? Because your physical mind is not designed to understand how things happen.

Step 3: You must allow. You allow by making peace with where you are.

In me feeling good about my marriage but have strong desires for more or something different, is that what decides if I stay or move on?

The strength of the desire is almost irrelevant. When you do Step 3, you will see the physical manifestation. There are no exceptions.

what decides if I continue this marriage or attract a new relationship which is more to my preferred desires?

Your personal contrast decides. In other words you experience contrast and the universe answers it. It is done.

So let's say your contrasting experience is that your partner is rude. Now your Vortex holds the solution and it is done. In the next step you make peace with that. So you are so at peace that you don't even notice that your partner is rude. But now he/she will either change or your the universe will deliver a breakup+new partner.

Let's say your contrasting experience is that your partner is not attractive enough. The universe will deliver the solution: more attractiveness into your experience.

This could also mean a new partner or your current partner becoming more attractive in some way, multiple new partners, affaires etc. Who knows?

I cannot know what the perfect solution for your life is. You can't either. Because remember, your physical mind is not designed to understand how things happen.


answered 23 May '13, 05:12

releaser99's gravatar image


Right after I read your question, I found this Abraham-Hicks quote in my email. I loved the synchronicity, and thought this may be helpful to you:

There is something that you do often that we would prefer you not do

We love you very much but if there is one thing that you do often that we would prefer that you not do so often (for your own good) is that you examine ‘what is’ with such fervor that you slow down what you ask for and you don’t let it come.

Your awareness of ‘what is’ is mostly what’s active in your vibration. So you've got to be either a really good sifter, where you’re just looking for things to appreciate in ‘what is’, or you've gotta be a better visualizer so that you’re imagining more of what you want, or a really good meditator, where you quiet your mind to deactivate; but you've really gotta do something to slow that momentum, because Law of Attraction is gonna keep it going!

Your vibration is where you last left it on every subject, you see.

~from YouTube video, "There is no missing link"

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 22 May '13, 17:25

Grace's gravatar image


Not qualified to answer this in any way, as my personal feelings on the subject dramatically cloud my perception and any hope of objectivity. However it is my belief it's extremely cruel to be in a relationship with someone you no longer "are in love with" or desire to be with or however you would like to phrase it. And this is amplified by lying (perhaps by omission) to them, the person you're supposed to be loving and caring for, the one they're supposed to be able to trust above all else.

Assuming the person finds out, the resulting impact of feeling used, worthless, and a plethora of other negative emotions can be extremely, extremely heavy. It cuts deep, believe me, however I'm the kind of idiot who would go ahead and just tell the person I still wanted to be with them for convenience's sake for the time being while looking for something better. And of course the odds of both people in a relationship being OK with this idea aren't so high. This stupid approach applied in a few different ways have cost me a few relationships that could have possibly turned out quite well, if only I had lied or simply kept my mouth shut.

Morale of the story? Don't listen to me, my advice on this topic likely wont end well for you. "Honesty is the best policy" is a lie only gullible fools like myself fall for, and a policy that will more often than not backfire quite effectively on anyone equally foolish enough to follow it. What I can say is if they find out there's a decent chance they're not going to feel so good about it for awhile after. If you want to preserve your friendship keep details like this to yourself and try to not let it get messy.


answered 23 May '13, 00:37

Snow's gravatar image


This question reminds me of one of my dad's favorite phrases "be careful of what you want in case you might get it" ... it's all about being happy in relationships and personal expansion.

In the following video Abraham explains it all as seen from upside down, inside out, from outer space, from inner space and all the rest of it ...



answered 23 May '13, 03:00

ru%20bis's gravatar image

ru bis


lol! Now why didn't I have that pic handy when you said "if I was a cat, you were a dog" You're Dad was right .... careful what you wish for..

(24 May '13, 01:30) ele

@ele ♫♥♫ ♥♫♫

(24 May '13, 01:46) ru bis

Hello. this is my 2 cents :) .. First, in my own understanding and, even, experience, the practicing of "accept what is" is not, by far, a concept that you understand...and immediatly you have your answer(solving of problem)..no way...understand this...once you begin this "accept what is" process (please, understand..it is a process of awareness..not a one time thing you do and that is all...) you need to be 100 % open to accept whatever your subconscious mind will bring out to your conscious mind (to your attention) and to continue the "accept this" process..maybe it will be embarassing or not "moral" or whatever "not right" concept...always rememeber that you want to "clear" yourself about that issue so..it is that simple if you "cut down" the emotional reaction of the thoughts/concepts that you feel you could not "accept" to go beyond...remember..you do not let go your beliefs and "right perspective" of life, but rather you let go the blockages in your mind that stop you to "see" what you, actually, want! All right ! So, the "accept what is" process will continue until...it ends :)..understand ! All the best ! ps- this is not about right or wrong..it is about to find what you really want..so you really have an opportunity to eliminate unnecesarry suffering...and only from "there" you can authentically choose how you really wanna live your life...


answered 23 May '13, 15:00

holla's gravatar image


By the way, speaking of synchronicity :) ...check this out..it will deepen your understanding : http://communicate.eckharttolle.com/news/?p=721

(23 May '13, 15:31) holla

yes @holla i like it :)

(24 May '13, 01:22) ru bis

May be irrelevant to your question, but it has to do with relationships.

I've been thinking about relationships for a while. Here's what I've concluded, and though it may not be a popular perspective, it is what I believe at the moment -- and it may change.

  • Is polyamory wrong? I don't believe it's wrong -- I think it's exciting!
  • When I'm 60-70 years old, will I be attracted to someone who's in their 20s? I'm not nearly 60, but seeing that many people who are -- and are still going for someone in their 20s, I think I'm not an exception. I think I'll be very attracted to someone in their 20s. Some people may see this as wrong, but can you blame someone for being attracted to a young adult? Will it be fun and exciting? I definitely think so!
  • When people say they have difficulties with their relationship, both Bashar and Abraham usually ask the person to search from within. Because the paradox is: relationship with yourself IS the relationship with the world. But these people are wanting their relationship to work -- supposedly. But I really think they want to try something new, but are not asking the right questions and afraid of "what people think" because society has taught us multiple lovers is wrong.

If I had it my way, I would enjoy being with many different people and everyone is allowed to do the same. I believe even if I have the most attractive person in the world, 2-3 years down the line, I believe that I can be attracted to someone else. It doesn't mean the person I'm with is any less attractive, it's just that I can't deny what I'm attracted to! Otherwise, I'd be lying to myself.


answered 23 May '13, 06:39

iqjim's gravatar image


@iqjim I like your answer - very open, very honest. I too have been in a similar quandary as @ALI6NMENT and @Monty Riviera. You've definitely put a new spin on the situation, maybe we all would like to try something new at some point in our lives but society has made it taboo to do such things. Maybe we'd just like to try something new and then come back home to the something old - because we'll always be attached to the something old, no matter what we think we feel.


answered 24 May '13, 14:06

MoonWillow's gravatar image


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