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The View From Mt. Everest

This question has, quite understandably, been on my mind since I returned home from the hospital Sunday (June 16th, 2013).

Why did God allow me to experience such incredible, mind-boggling pain? Why?

They sometimes call cluster headaches "Suicide Headaches" because so many people end up trying to kill themselves while experiencing the pain. I can understand that now,

Wade;s Mom came to the hospital, and did a healing on me.

While undergoing her healing, I saw an incredible sight: I was definitely on Mt. Everest, and I could see for miles. The sight was very beautiful but also awesome, as nothing around me was higher on Earth.

I then began to float slowly down, down, down the slopes of the Himalayas, finally reaching the bottom. I landed at the foot of our driveway, and just at that moment, a nurse came in to do my vitals. The timing was eerie and uncanny.

Without the pain, I would never have had the vision, which will stay with me all my life. I would never have experienced your love and abiding prayers, either!

Is this why God allows suffering?

Love you all,


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asked 18 Jun '13, 06:09

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 20 Jun '13, 15:07

I was going to post this answer on "Am I beyond the point of being able to fix myself?" but this question seems to already be on a closer page to my feelings so I'm putting it here instead. Yes, God does have something to do with it in the sense that he allows it to exist. But not for no reason or for its own sake, but with a very important purpose if we accept it.

I just wrote this letter to a loved one, and I was reminded of you @Jaianniah and felt (and sincerely hoped) it might speak to you as well. Some of the context is still personalized to my situation, other bits I modified to be more suitable to this medium and perhaps reach others like you. If something sounds like it isn't aimed at you, replace it with "Your own trials and tribulations." Though it was heartfully expressed to a loved one in mind, understand I feel a very strong and similar respect for you and your strength. Many of your questions and answers came from a place of honesty and bravery which spoke to and inspired me, and I'm sure there have been and will be many others who can say the same.

Quotes which sums up the two points I want to express: "You've already proven you have the ability to work through all kinds of physical, mental, and emotional adversity. God puts his strongest angels in the toughest situations because they're the only ones who can handle them. Now through your perseverance you can be better equipped to help others thanks to a true depth of empathy which can be crucial to helping some of the most vulnerable of us in need of help."

It occurred to me the reason you had to put up with all of the events in your life, even the terrible ones, is because it was good training for you! I hope the experience with dealing someone like myself [In other's instance, putting up with their own trials and tribulations not in the form of me being a problem to be around] who was (and still is, but is working on it) vulnerable and lost and lashing out because of their own fear and insecurity has made it easier for you this time around.

On the off chance that it hasn't and you're troubled by why you're repeatedly being pummeled by similar situations difficult to deal with and why God would put you in this, turn that negative into a positive! God only gives us what we can handle, so that means you must be absolutely amazing considering all of the things you've gotten through and risen above and proven that what people say your limits are don't matter as long as you have a huge heart and never give up.

You've already proven you have the ability to work through all kinds of physical, mental, and emotional adversity. God puts his strongest angels in the toughest situations because they're the only ones who can handle them. Now through your perseverance you can be better equipped to help others because of a true depth of empathy which can be crucial to helping some of the most vulnerable in need of help.

Just think, now that you've had to put up with these situations you can keep your attention on how much more capable and understanding you can be in helping those in need when they are faced with similar challenges IF they decide they're open and willing and desire for themselves. And if they choose they will not accept help (you can't force someone to change, sometimes you just have to accept them until they're ready or leave them to themselves for awhile) then you can appreciate how much stronger you will be and already are, and how much better you will now be at maintaining happiness and positivity and appreciation for the gifts in life in spite of any variety of hardship or trial.

Whether your having to deal with a headache like me prepares you for helping others through similar troubles, or gives you the tolerance to put up with difficult or less than ideal situations, or gives you a new found appreciation for the good things you have in your life to be so grateful for, or gives you an appreciation for the sources of love and support that help prevent you from falling into these conditions, there are many good things that can be taken from what is a very unfortunate situation that I wish you didn't have to deal with and would change for the better for you.

But in the event things don't take a turn for the better (which I hope and believe they will :) ) then try to choose to take the good things from these situations, because while there are many good things one CAN take from their trials and obstacles in life, it is up to us to actually accept them and grow from them in a positive, beneficial, and healthy way.

Back to just @Jai: You already have taken your experiences and been an inspiration to one person, I can guarantee this with my own word as proof on more than one occasion. You're already doing the best thing you can in your situation, you're already making the best of it and turning it into something good, even if you aren't aware of it yourself or what I think is more likely is you're not ready to accept it yourself.

Just like an ideal situation in the LoA you really do already have great success in the area you're looking to address. Now all you need to do is accept it yourself and appreciate it. It's time to stop letting the negativity from any and all past events in your life eat away at you and cause you all this stress which I believe is at the root of your swings of unhappiness. Instead you can accept yourself as who your experiences and trials have helped mold and shape you, the wonderful you who may be a bit emotionally battered and worn and feel a bit unusual or out of sorts with yourself at times, but the you who has made it through and managed to change even one life for the better along the way.

And keep in mind this is just one person expressing one small (actually multiple very substantial, but even the slightest change should be enough) bit of appreciation for a positive change you had in their lives. I like to think if we can even make a single person do nothing but smile for a moment we should feel fulfillment and appreciation with our actions in doing so. You've done more than just induce momentary smiles without any substance, but you've also inspired very important fundamental changes for the better in me in the short and long term. I'm just one person, just one, and I can assure you there are others who have also been impacted by their interaction with you in a variety of ways.

You've already done something great with the lemons life served you, and now you're in a position where if you accept yourself and how far you've come you can do something even greater. You can take the success and fulfillment you've already encountered in sharing your strength with others, and keep yourself knowing you are loved, knowing you are strong, and knowing if you keep your head up and your appreciations high you can continue to keep yourself open to helping others in this same way, whether it be on a wide and/or larger scale such as your contributions here (or perhaps even a deeper calling in healing others), or in letting your strength make a difference in the every day encounters we have in life.

Just remember to be able to help lift others up you must keep yourself strong. I know it is hard to ask someone who has already gone through so much to stay strong now, not only for their own sake but for the sake of others, and in a lot of ways it isn't really "fair". But the hard part is over, it's all down hill from here, now all you need to do is keep your focus on one simple thing to keep yourself going strong and then as a consequence naturally help others get up to going strong:

You've already helped me. You've already made a difference. You've already helped others and done something good which I hope makes some small amount of what you've experienced worthwhile even if only for a moment. Now you can focus on the good you've already accomplished and you'll have nothing left but continuing to take a negative and expanding the impact of the positivity and good you created from it. And as long as you can keep yourself happy and accepting of yourself and what good you've built so far, you'll keep expanding the reach of the good you've done so long as you desire to do so.


answered 22 Jun '13, 06:30

Snow's gravatar image


Delightful answer, and completely overdue for praise on my part. I am sorry I missed it!♡

(19 Feb '20, 23:28) Jaianniah

the world is and we are on
it, so suffering is one
script for our drama now
choices made though make it life


answered 20 Jun '13, 21:34

fred's gravatar image


This keeps coming back over and over again. It seems as if this is to teach you then you shouldn't keep getting it. You learned what pain is, okay lesson learned, we don't need this lesson anymore!

Right now you have been again dealing with this headache.


answered 22 Jun '13, 14:31

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi


wade, it may not be about learning what pain is, but how it becomes so in you. again, a reason to know thyself not just who you believe you are

(22 Jun '13, 19:17) fred

Very wise words fred. I think pain is more often a symptom than a cause. If we blame those experiencing pain they're likely to feel more pain because they feel like they're doing something wrong. We look for other avenues to experience and vent pain when we're unable to handle it in its original form, but this often leads us to be misdirected into trying to fix a problem which appears to be related to one topic, but in reality can come from a seemingly unrelated cause. Patience & love..

(22 Jun '13, 21:32) Snow
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