About 2 years ago I overcame a huge tragedy and I felt very empowered afterwards. I had very empowering beliefs about myself. I felt like nothing and no one could hurt me and or stop me from manifesting my goals. I felt like I could overcome anything. And to be honest I used to see a negative situation as an opportunity for growth and desires manifested.
However one day I did something very foolish. I purposely created a negative situation around something I wanted in the hope of manifesting my desire to challenge myself. I thought to myself that "as long as I clean all the resistance surrounding what's bothering me and surrounding my desire that i'll be fine".
After what happened I started having a few negative setbacks over the years. I started slipping back in to old patterns of behavior and thinking. Back and forth I would go. I feel like things are slowly improving but that i'm still struggling with some of my old habits.
I didn't know it would all come this far.
I've become very fearful of situations I perceive as negative ever since.
I live in a house full of negativity as well. My mother is worried about my career and so am I. My father is ill and My mother keeps pushing me to do things that seem to cause resistance in me.
I'm still very confused.
I just want to feel good about my life the way it is now.
I respect my mother but I would like to trust the universe more.
I feel relief at times but Its not as reassuring to me as it used to be.
I wish I could afford to allow life to unfold naturally but I feel pressured by what goes on around me to act.
I've gone through periods of allowing followed by times when I was more action oriented due to stress and pressure and then when this doesn't seem to work I start allowing again and the cycle continues.
I wish I could see find the silver lining in all this.
Any insights would be appreciated.
asked 15 Aug '17, 19:58
No one is grading you!! The saying goes, "The one who dies with the most toys wins." The only problem is...you're dead! Our Higher Power (whatever you choose to call Him) is not going to send you to a bad place because you have hit a rough spot. Hopefully, you will learn a lot from this, and perhaps that is really what you wanted. You will hear from people who can help you get back on track, which is also good. Relax!
As a healer, I would suggest doing grounding exercises... Are you all up in your head? Self-conscious? Time to go for a hike. Swim. Hug a tree. Spend a day laughing at old, funny movies! All of the above.
I never got an "A" for something I did well in life. I might get praise, or money flowing, or receive happiness of some kind, but the "valedictorians" of life seem to be people who try to appreciate every tiny thing that they have, and are absolute champions at spreading happiness everywhere... it seems to ooze out of their pores.
My grandmother never had a lot of "stuff", but she always was happy. When we visited her, she immediately kind of slid all the goodies in her fridge onto her dining table, and we laughed while we nibbled ourselves into oblivion at her wonderful, impromptu smorgasbords! She laughed exactly like Barney Rubble. When we realized this, we would deliberately try to make her laugh. My Dad would save up the most raunchy jokes imaginable, and out they would pour, and she would get to giggling...Those were really good times. She never thought about it. She just "did" happy.
If your mind gets in the way of what your soul really desires, it creates huge conflicts (as you have described). Sort out the two conflicting desires- you have them- you just need to think about it. For example: Desire One: I want to be a successful businesswoman. Desire Two: I want to be a stay-at-home mommy, and have eighteen children. Hoo, boy, that was tough for me. My heart said, "Kids!" and my mind said, "You want to be a millionaire!". My heart won. I have no real regrets. I loved raising them, I loved watching them turn into adults bit by bit. But I had to accept my choice. I just had to develop a appreciation for the little stuff.
1.) Ground yourself.
2.) Figure out the conflicts.
3.) Make a choice.
"However one day I did something very foolish. I purposely created a negative situation around something I wanted in the hope of manifesting my desire to challenge myself. I thought to myself that "as long as I clean all the resistance surrounding what's bothering me and surrounding my desire that i'll be fine".
well... you cant be 100% sure that this has led to the way you're feeling now...mabey it was just part of your learning experience? or part of your past thought prosses, so what? so you tried and "failed" , so what? be more easy on your self. learn from it and move on, not in a judgmental way :) but only from an external perspective.
to my understanding you're trying to create more peace in your life. i ffound that the best and easy way to manifest what you want is to not try to manifest it. try listen to "receptive mode meditations" videos of abraham hicks or other videos of them and you'll hear that TRYING really just creat more and more resistance. the state that you're in right now is just fine and trying to shift from it to another state of being tells the univers "i dont like what i see" "i hate my world", "everything is wrong" etc which brings more of it.
appreciete your self not only for "great" results but also for the world you live in RIGHT NOW because you are the one who created it!! you! an that is amazing. no one should be frustrated or ashamed or confused about their creation. the only feeling that should be there is pride. and you can reach there easly with meditation or just the understanding that everything that you see around you is YOUR creation and simply love and appreciete it because you know the reasons for why you have it in your world , for ex. you can hate the color of the walls in your house and complain about it, and then understand that YOU actually chose this color and for what reason you chose it.
also i would go by the 4/5 steps of abraham: 1.STEP 1: Ask. the asking happans all day long subconsciously so asking and asking again again is irrelavent. you've already asked. even this question in IQ have alredy been asked by your sourse before you put it here.
STEP 2: Source answers by vibrationally assembling everything necessary. and that is not your job either.
STEP 3: Find vibrational alignment so that there is no vibrational variance between the vibrational version and the reality version.
step 3 is your only work. to relax and find alignment. there are many ways to get there. i find that the best way is one affirmation that i created for myself (creat what empowers you and bring you back to sourse)). also AH receptive mode meditations (every day!!) with the intention for allowing and the understanding that everithing else is not your job.
another great affirmation is "i did good ,im doing good, im on the exact right path"
now the most important thing about the 3rd step is again DO NOT TRY TO MANIFEST!! and that means that if you want money (or peace .. etc) dont ask or try to allow money to come in. no. that will creat resistance. really just go by Ah meditations and flow with it. just by breathing. with no attachment to the future/past or things or results. complete trust in whats coming.
hope that helps.
What you are experiencing is perfectly common and normal. You did not really experience a setback. You gained conscious access to deeper layers of your being that were still working in your old patterns.
It's like peeling an onion. You took care of the upper layers, and all is well for a while, and then you have to deal with another layer of undesirable ideas, and then you take care of that, and then all is well for a while, and then you reach another one... It's normal. Everybody is like that. It's why spiritual masters still meditate.
If you have perfect confidence, it doesn't matter what anyone says. You just deal with them in the most positive way you can, perhaps throw out a couple of convincing arguments to rebut whatever beliefs they may have you don't want to deal with, and leave it at that. So it looks like the layer of negative you are dealing with right now is: But what would my parents think? So just keep going, rebuild your confidence, use your workshop, stay in the zone, and rethink your old ways, and in not time you will be ready for... the next layer. Enjoy the ride! When you focus on your spiritual progress you don't have any time to resist your manifestations any more and they happen much easier.
answered 28 Aug '17, 05:43
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