I am completely on board with this! I could die today, if it's only a matter of changing planes of existence. I was never a person to be afraid of my own death, or to mention the word, or to speak about it. I have even always made jokes on my own death! (I enjoy some black humour, yes).
What I don't understand, is how to deal with a beloved person's death, besides having medical attention, going to a psychiatrist, taking antidepressants and all that.
How can I feel good everyday (as the LOA recommends) if I have lost four beloved persons in less than two years (two were relatives, the other two were close friends), and I miss them to bits???
My psychiatrist say I am not accepting my dad's death (occurred last December) but she didn't say how do I do it!
I am following the LOA with great results, but sometimes I fall apart...
How do you deal with this? Any suggestion wil be highly appreciated!
asked 21 Oct '10, 15:35
Barry Allen ♦♦
I firmly believe that grieving is a natural process that everyone goes through when they lose a loved one. Grieving is cathartic; it is our natural way to say goodbye.
But grieving can be unnecessarily prolonged, mostly by societal expectations. The notion that you should feel better because the loved one has gone to a better place, coupled with the notion that there is a socially acceptable time to grieve, can be confusing.
How long is an acceptable time to grieve? If you don't believe that this concerns people, ask yourself how long is an acceptable time for a person to wait, after they lose a loved one, before they can begin dating again. Is it one year? One month? How about the next day?
So my suggestion is to allow yourself to grieve. You don't always have to be happy or positive every minute of every day. But allowing yourself to experience the grief, and then allowing it to pass, will make you long-term happier.
answered 21 Oct '10, 22:42
Thanks for your reply, @Vesuvius. Very comforting, really! I share your opinion that society is pushy about your grieving. You make people unconfortable if you grieve for too long and refuse to go to parties or celebrations. It disturbs them. So they rather you stop grieving. And I think there's where the major problem stands. They comfort you with saying that they are in a better place, and that I know, but I am in a worse place than I was when I had them, at least for the time being...
(22 Oct '10, 12:42) BridgetJones09
I lost my son and father within 12 months, a few years ago. Bridget, I don't think the pain of that goes away. I think that in time we just learn to live with it. Even though we have hope of meeting up with them again, there is a sense of loss, of not being with them on this plane anymore. No way around it! I think we eventually acknowledge the loss and deal with that void being in our lives.
answered 21 Oct '10, 17:45
I understand your lost, LeeAnn. One of my friends was a boy not yet 30, and I cannot keep his mum out of my head, as she's also a friend of the family, and she's destroyed. I know that losing a son is the worst thing that can happen to anyone!
And you're right. We must learn to live with the void in our lives...
Thanks for your reply!
(22 Oct '10, 12:25) BridgetJones09
Ive lost a nephew in the last 3 weeks. Died in a hospital toilet, of a heroin overdose... Not good!
However,we have a faith hes gone on to better things. We know hes ok...but its the ones behind who dont have a faith who suffer the most. To be honest even the ones who do have a firm faith suffer intensely.
I like the Ester view on our transition, but few view things this way. Its gonna be hard for anyone who loses a loved one. My heart goes out particularly to parents who lose a child.
In a hundred years time we will all be someplace else and will no doubt look back and wonder what we were so fussed about.But at present time its SO painfull.
How do i deal with it? I think about Chris having immensely more fun now than he did a few weeks ago.And im sure he is.
answered 21 Oct '10, 18:58
I also like Esther view on the subject, but as I said, I think the LOA skips explaining what do we do, the ones that are left here, in this plane! Thanks for your reply!
(22 Oct '10, 12:33) BridgetJones09
The greater our understanding of the Universe, the better we are able to cope with any life or death experience. If you accept that people do not die by accident, then it will be easier to accept the passing of a loved ones. However if you do not believe that people choose when they are going to die then you will always feel that the person was short changed.
This does not take away from the grieving process. When someone close to us die, it is as if a part of us dies. My explanation for this is that they have become a part of our energy field. We can continue to be spiritually connected to our loved ones even after death but we must give them the space to go on with their lives and give ourselves the space to create new experiences in our own life.
answered 21 Oct '10, 23:54
Nice answer, @Drham! Thanks!
(22 Oct '10, 12:27) BridgetJones09
Loosing a love one is very devastating, and tragic! The price of life is death, but once you know life, you love life, and death is not a friend. There are no words in the dictionary to describe the pain of loosing a loved one. Everyone’s experience and coping skills may vary, and really there is no time frame as to how long a person should grieve, or how long it takes a person to heal. But in time we can learn to accept the things that we cannot change, and the courage to carry on in our life purpose!
To me death is a part of our own spiritual growth that comes with great pain and sadness to all humans, while the birth of life brings increased joy, and happiness to all humans, so in essence we can see death as a fair exchange for a life given, and as a future enlightenment back to the soul!
answered 27 Oct '10, 05:08
Inactive User ♦♦
Thank you, your words are very nice! :)
(27 Oct '10, 14:07) BridgetJones09
BJ09, I was also fighting the battle of how to deal with the death of my dearly beloveds. I was in immense pain, didn't know how I was ever going to stop crying, etc. Recently, a friend of mine saw me and told me to love and accept my pain and sadness, to hold it and stroke it as I would if it was in a body. I still have sad moments but the intensity has gone. Maybe this will help you.
answered 27 Oct '10, 07:02
It sure will, thank you very much!
(27 Oct '10, 14:08) BridgetJones09
how we preceive life is also how we value death,
answered 01 Nov '10, 00:13
death is part of the process or the cycle the body will die everything made of solid matter(condense energy) will decay and return to its normal state! we identify our self in this world to being this body and till you pass over the mirroir it is your truth your belief! everything happens when it is the time for it to happen! do not sorrow have joy those people are not lost(it is not the end) they have cross over the mirroir and someone is waiting there for them! to guide them and to help them lift the veil that hide the absolute truth! what you can do for those people is help them achive something that they did not complete before the time of leaving came! something they needed to tell someone or something they wanted to do for another! etc. you are intelligent enuff to find it out!
answered 22 Apr '11, 06:06
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