I think the crux of your problem lies in this sentence - "I want to stop feeling like this, it makes me feel envious, I will always end up in self pity-the old story why nothing good ever happens to me in spite of being such a good person."

Self pity has a very negative, addictive type energy attached to it. When we get caught uo in that energy it is very easy to spiral downward and believe all those stories that are going around in our head. The more we feel sorry for ourself the more momentum those thoughts gather, attracting other similar thoughts until there is quite the drama going on in our mind. And remember what we think we will begin to attract, so the Universe brings us situations and people to confirm those stories in our head.

The good news is that those stories can be changed and we have the power to do that.By changing our thoughts we change our mind and as a result our physical reality begins to change accordingly.

Maybe begin by discarding the "used to be" in your first sentence and replace it with a definitive "I Am". At some level this is what you believe so it should be an easy belief to install - " I Am a calm, sweet and lovely person and good things are happening to me", affirm this consistently.

When you feel yourself slipping into self pity mode, try to catch it as early as possible and realize that you can change that story. It will probably take some time and quite a bit of consistent effort but don't give up, no matter what appears to be happening on the surface,know that underneath ( within your mind) things are changing and your physical world will have to change in accordance with this.

Bliss dear, there is a lot that is happening nowadays. Basically, when you accumulate more light, which is what you've been doing throughout your life, darkness is dislodged. It isn't you, all those bad things and feelings. They are coming to the surface because they are going bye bye. What you need to do is let them go. Don't hold on to any of it. And stick to the course of love and light. Do forgive yourself and your friends, it will soon pass.

Blessings, namaste

bad things happen to good people, its just the devil tryna bring u down, keep fighting and doing right it will pass when he sees that his trickery won't turn u to the bad side, don't take any drugs that's what he wants u to be on drugs and medication u don't need those all u need is to stay clean keep eating and work hard to keep a check coming in, an the devil works threw people so try not to keep yourself around a lot of people because he can use them to get to u. Ull be fine just stay to yourself