I would appreciate any advice for my situation currently. My husband and I got married two years ago, we moved to a new state last summer because my husband got a new job out here. He was having some problems with his previous job, and seeking a newer opportunity we moved here( and of course now I know you can not leave the problem behind, if you dont deal with it vibrationally). So ofcourse bigger and harder problems manifested themselves when we moved here.

He hates his job, feels threatened to go to work. The thing is this place is very different to his personality, and has done nothing but to bring to surface his weaknesses. I did voice my concerns a few times about changing jobs not subsituting inned guidance. But I do not think he is in the place for him to really understand what I mean.

In the meantime, we had a baby. Things go well when he does not get bogged down by his work, (which happens a lot). I try to keep my sanity, and my work on my vibration for myself and my baby at the least. He lashes out a lot at me for helping make the wrong decision of moving here. Since I did not work, therefore was not supporting the family, he feels that I did not get invovled in the decision making of moving here.

I understand that he lashes out because it makes him feel better in some way. He can only project the vibration which he is feeling, so that is okay. I try to maintain my vibration so I can keep my cool, and also help uplift in some way. But I want to know how to help him more in the moment? he wants to move back to California, on our personal expense (which will take away a large chunk of our savings).

He just wants the quickest way out of this place. How do I help him? I do not want him to repeat this same pattern wherever we move next. I understand that he needs to do something, but what can I do, knowing that he is not ready/able to understand things vibrationally? He is just not there, how do I help him given his limitations?

Thank you so much.

asked 05 Apr '14, 11:19

Nikki777's gravatar image


edited 05 Apr '14, 12:44

IQ%20Moderator's gravatar image

IQ Moderator ♦♦

With my job (which I also hated) I use to travel to and live alone in various towns and cities at a rate of 1 per year for about 10 yrs. I had come to be aware that every town and city has a different vibe, and the vibe is created by those who live in those towns and cities. Some places I really enjoyed living in and had a good time, and others I couldn't wait to leave because I had a miserable time with people not being very friendly and I felt alienated. They labelled me as being an outsider. Some of my friends and family would say in phone calls "You need to try a little harder to fit in" which was bad advice in my opinion. My vibration didn't match the vibration of the community I lived in. My year long work term, in a job I hated, in some of these communities felt more like a prison sentence. Bitterness starts to set in along with the desire to "leave" and go back to my home city where I knew I use to feel good. In my bitterness I would lash out at people on the phone who weren't understanding of my unhappy circumstances and giving me their advice of how to fit in better. To me going home was the only answer.

Now here's the strange thing that happened, I finally got to move back to my home city after 4 or 5 years (because it was next on the list) and "it didn't feel right!?" Either my vibration changed or the city's vibration changed and it didn't feel like home anymore. The buildings were the same, my old friends were the same, the streets were the same, but....it was different. It wasn't like the way things use to be. Unhappiness started setting in and I was actually happy to leave after the year was up. "You can't go back to the way things were!" Then I realized I don't have a home anymore!?

In your scenario, your husband is showing the exact signs I used to display, he's turned into "Bitterman" and feels trapped and wants out! Blames everybody and everything for his misery, when all he wants is to feel good and happy! It's not that he doesn't want to change, it's that his vibration is different than the location you are currently living in. "Like" attracts "Like"....He wants to go back to California where he remembers where the vibration matches his and he'll do it at your own personal expense if need be. BUT who's to say that during your absence the vibe of California hasn't changed? Moving back to California may not be the answer.

With me, one of the life lessons I learned was "Sample before buying." That's why people date before marrying. To ease his bitterness and show a light at the end of the misery tunnel, mention taking a trip to California for about a week or two before making the final decision to move. Once in California, he may actually realize that things are better where you currently live and it's actually not that bad after all, because his internal vibe doesn't match up with California anymore. Watch his bitterness disappear. On the other hand California maybe the answer and he could get more excited about the idea, watch his bitterness disappear.


answered 06 Apr '14, 15:46

Eldavo's gravatar image


Thanks so much for replying. he did end upgoing back to CA for various reasons a couple of times and still loves it. We are just waiting for a few opportunities to take shape now. Its his impatience and resulting negativity that is making this time difficult. i want to help the situation somehow and so far only him seeing me take some "action" makes him feel better...even if only momentarily.

(08 Apr '14, 13:54) Nikki777

Just jump in and do it, move into your passion, into what you love to do and you'll wake up with a beautiful smile on your face every morning. As soon as you stop working and start making your work your way of life and enjoying every minute putting your heart and soul into it, then you automatically succeed ...



answered 10 Apr '14, 14:24

jaz's gravatar image


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