This sounds almost like of those too unbelievable to be true stories, but I ended up manifesting the girl of my dreams last weekend - tall, skinny, trendy, had great online chemistry (met via an app), great in person chemistry etc. Almost to every detail that I had written down for her. We had a great evening and night and even planned a trip to PR for the long weekend.

Everything was going great and she was very engaging but suddenly at Sunday around 8 she sends me a text that a guy she's been seeing on and off has asked her to be his gf and she's going to do it. I 90% believe she's saying the truth as just an hour or so before this text we were in midst of making plans.

It's almost been a week and I feel I still haven't been able to recover from what they call in the PUA space - "oneitis". Clinging on to one person. I rarely get this kind of feeling for someone, especially on the first date.

At this point I feel, it'd be very hard for me to recreate that combination of what I want in my ideal girl - looks, chemistry, personality type etc. Factually I know it's not true and there are endless combinations in the universe -- the whole abundance concept.

My question is -- where did I mess up in the LOA process here and what should I do better next time to retain on to what I have manifested?

Few potential areas where I might have messed are:

1) I only did the LOA processes for this particular type of girl for only a couple of weeks. Should I increase duration before taking action next time?

2) I still have self esteem issues and at times didn't feel 'worthy' of her as she seemed out of my league. Is this a potential cause getting pretty close to manifesting it?

3) Should I continue seeking a similar kind of girl (my ideal type) or visualize something different? I'm afraid visualizing same would remind me more of her.

4) I also didn't particularly 'ask for' a relationship. Just had the girl in mind. Maybe I should be specific and say I do want a relationship with this ideal girl?

asked 25 May '17, 21:09

echnarcissus's gravatar image


edited 25 May '17, 21:12

It would appear that you did everything right from the law of attraction perspective- if I understood this right you asked for some kind of relationship with an en-vogue girl, and what you got is a brief relationship with an en-vogue girl, which also happened to be very rich in your connection with her. I would say your manifestation was a success.

What happened next is that you changed your mind- you fell in love. And that's fine, there is nothing bad, or weak, about it, and contrary to popular belief it is not the chief reason for being rejected- negative beliefs are. Ironically, a term like "oneitis" perpetuates the problem- if you use it, you reinforce the idea that there is something wrong with you because a perfectly natural and healthy response happened to making a good connection with someone. And ideas that say that something is wrong with you are the real culprits in getting rejected in the first place- without them, you would most likely just be drawn to situations that harmonize well with you and rejection wouldn't be that much of an issue- there would just be different kinds of situations, but there wouldn't constantly be all that much pain on the line, because the pain wouldn't be there in the first place.

So I recommend two things:

First, clear negative beliefs. Bashar's method is very good for that: Feel your feeling of fear that you did something wrong, then ask your self: What would I have to believe in order to feel this? When you get a clear response, you're good, the belief is gone. Do this often- whenever you feel down in any way. You might be doing a lot of this for a while, then ease up a little- this is good!

Second, absolutely, keep manifesting your girl- and do keep the resistance down by not insisting that it be the one you already met, but you can certainly prefer it to be the one you already met. She's dating, she liked you, and then some guy wants "more"- that must have been very flattering for her, but it doesn't mean you're out of the question- it looks to me like she took the "safe" bet more than the "exciting" one, because she must have felt your connection too. So the trick now is to continue manifesting your girl, and also to add more detail if you want it, like that you want (whatever type of) relationship with her, and when you feel bad about that because it reminds you of your inner pain, don't shy from that- clear the inner pain using the belief method above. With less inner pain, it will be much easier to continue manifesting your girl, prefer that it may be the one you already met, but not insist it must be the one you already met.

Dating is complicated and volatile- I hope this smooths things out for you a little.


answered 26 May '17, 04:24

cmc's gravatar image


Thanks so much! Really appreciate the difference between 'not insisting' vs 'preferring'. Aligns well with the idea of softening resistance and having that easy going feeling when trying to manifest something.

(31 May '17, 15:40) echnarcissus

@echnarcissus It's my pleasure! Yes, absolutely- in its most benign form, the term "oneitis" actually means this- prefer, don't insist. Or, after a while, by all means desire to make things work- but walk if you really need to.

(01 Jun '17, 10:48) cmc

what should I do better next time to retain on to what I have manifested?

Next time, instead of asking yourself "What kind of girls do I want to attract?", ask yourself "Who do I want to be?".

The problem is that you are basically manifesting a state of being that can't handle the kind of girls you want to attract. So instead, manifest a different state of being that can easily handle the kind of girl you want to have in your life.

It's similar to those lottery winners who manifest millions and lose it and get into debt. They have the millions but they are not coming from the right state of being.

Or to give you a another analogy, right now you are driving a very small car.

But you want to tune it up with a Ferrari engine so you can drive faster. Do not look for a Ferrari engine to put it in your small car. It can't handle it. Get yourself a Ferrari instead and you will drive faster automatically.

alt text

Almost to every detail that I had written down for her.

Take this same process and instead of writing down the details of what kind of girls you want, write down what kind of a state of being you need to be in. Choose to BE the kind of man who naturally and effortlessly attracts and keeps the kind of women you want to have in your life.


answered 25 May '17, 21:42

releaser99's gravatar image


edited 25 May '17, 21:46

This is great -- thanks so much! Quick follow up - when you say I should choose what I want to 'Be', what exactly would that involve in terms of actually doing something? I was thinking writing down characteristics of what this 'Ferrari' person would be like and then doing the same LOA processes (enjoy the feeling of already being there / living the life / associating positive feelings to it whilst not getting needy). Does that sound like a reasonable approach?

(31 May '17, 11:09) echnarcissus

@echnarcissus - "Does that sound like a reasonable approach?" - Yes, sounds good to me. Because when attempting to deliberately manifest, your only job is to choose the state of being you want to stay in, enjoy that it's already done and stay/persist there. If for any reason you find yourself being kicked out of that state, you just get back in, enjoy that it's already done until it becomes your default state of being...

(01 Jun '17, 06:30) releaser99

...The beauty of this approach is that it will take care of everything you need. It will make you feel joyful and complete, change the limiting beliefs about yourself and the world automatically (since every state comes with its own unique set of beliefs), and inspire you to take the action steps you need without any effort on your part (if taking action is necessary at all)...

(01 Jun '17, 06:31) releaser99

...And since you have a manifesting method that works for you, it would probably be a good idea to use what works already. For anyone else looking for another easy manifesting approach, I would suggest this one right here.

(01 Jun '17, 06:32) releaser99

Great, thank you! This is a great community and I'm glad to have discovered it somehow. Hope my post helps out people wondering 'if it works' in the future.

(06 Jun '17, 12:41) echnarcissus
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