I love the Bashar method of questioning beliefs and delving down to find where they come from:
"What would i have to believe is true about my relationship to this situation in order to feel this way; to react like this?"
And I have uncovered underlying "big" beliefs that have underpinned a lot of stuff. Bashar goes on to say:
"Your higher mind will help you find the beliefs that are generating that emotional experience. Next as soon as you identify the belief it is gone."
However, this is not happening.
I am having some difficulty with two pretty foundational beliefs that I uncovered. The first is that nothing changes and it cannot change and I am totally stuck. I know where this belief came from, I have felt the body sensations and emotions and done my best to sit with it and shift it. But it is not budging, I suspect because I do not believe it can shift, and so it pretty much can't shift. This belief also stops any other inner work I do from actually working, because nothing can change. Every time I make some progress, like moving from depression into anger, the depression takes over again and I end up in an emotional flash-back that I cannot pull out of. I end up simply wanting to give up and die. Again, I have done my best to allow the feeling and not to fight it, but to ask the questions and allow the emotions, but still not getting there. And it is pretty hard to stay in a space of wanting to give up totally for any length of time as I have to work. So I distract as best as I can and work with it when I am able, but it is taking its toll.
I should mention that I recently discovered that I dissociate frequently and struggle to stay present from one moment to the next. Inner work doesn't work well if you are not present for it. Again, I'm working with this, but it is not always possible for me to feel when I have dissociated as it is such a normal place for me. I have also found that EFT is not particularly helpful for me. My flashbacks don't cause traumatic feelings, but rather a freeze response that empties my emotional and cognitive functioning to the point where nothing except the defense mechanism is functioning. Tapping just seems to re-enforce the defense mechanism rather than actually shifting it.
I managed to move through a huge anger release recently and up to frustration and then came crashing down all the way into depression again. And I do this over and over. I just don't get beyond that point.
The other underlying belief I found is that I am not wanted. Again, I can see where this came from and I have applied all the methods I know, but I have attracted a lot of evidence of this belief over the decades and that makes it very difficult to refute and to shift.
I have gone through a period recently of evaluating all my beliefs and realising that I am not sure of any of them. Like if we have a higher purpose or if there is a Universe/God or any point to any of this. It is a process and I am not through yet, but as of right now I really don't have certainty in my heart about any of it.
Interestingly, my mind is quite happy questioning and debating and letting go of beliefs like these, but not the one that nothing can change.
And the defense mechanisms and circular thoughts have me well and truly trapped.
Any thoughts would be appreciated. With the caveat that it doesn't really help to be told to just change my thoughts - if I had figured that out I most certainly would be doing it!
I think I found it.
You said that your belief is not budging because you suspect you believe it cannot shift.
Instead, uncover the belief that you cannot shift. Subtle important difference. Then, keep going, there may be more.
answered 27 Nov '17, 10:49
the evidences you have about you being unwanted and things does'nt change will keep appearing for the rest of your life - yes.. even if you'll vibrate in the highest frequency. the only thing that matter is your responce to these evidences. you can take Bashar or Abraham hicks for example - they have tons of "negative" evidences from us about how f@@ up this world is but they are'nt being influenced by them. take a rich person, he got tons of evidence about how cruel he is, stingy, unliked by people and more... but he is not letting it get under his skin. its almost as if he doesnt see the evidence, or laugh at it, or feel compassion. and there are many many many moer examles i can give.
this evidece are just the diversity of this universe. many people=many types of behaviours , and we cant control how other people act. we cant creat EVER an ouside perfet world. but we can creat a perfect inner world, so perfect and loving that nothing will be able to influece us outside of ourselves.
when you will stop care (for real) about evidence or people changing or loving you, then it will shift. its really hard to try and control the outside world. the work is suposed to be an inside one. let everyone be free to do whatever they want but most importently identify what you want and let yourself be free to do whatever you want.
the expectation that the evidences will disapear can exhaust you and bring you down, because it will not happen. the feelings in you must change regardless of what you see.
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