I have severe OCD.Much of it is in the mind.when I think positive even feel it ,it never works out.never in case of important,long run stuff like mediation program, treatment, education.

so I started forcing myself to be skeptic, negative and that has worked for me for now.The only problem is I generally feel nauseous, tired,and head hurts at times.it feels like I have a load on my head.

so it's very hard to force myself to do anything beyond a point. skepticism happens on its own too however if I let my mind free it thinks positive more.so it's a necessity to think negative,however with OCD it's often too much to force my mind.

i scream from the pressure.mind wants to be freed,it relapses,and falsely I believe maybe I am out of the 'think negative for good'phase.a recent incident demonstrated that's far from it.i also grow relaxed and complacent with positivity.

Again that's bad for me,my OCD generates doubts,I have terrible anxiety and my mind is too unfocused.so only with excessive effort I can move ahead in life.I keep relapsing into comfort and laziness(a very destructive pattern).

I just want to think the way which will lead me ahead but is there a way it's not so hard that my head hurts and I scream from the load.This also makes me seek refuge in bed,cause literally my mind cannot handle even the tiniest exertion.

i am in therapy,my therapist does not understand this.to get better I must work,handle the load but also not hurt my head.