Since four years, I'm trying to manifest a specific dream of mine. When I found out about the Law of Attraction four years ago, this desire was the main cause of my interest in spiritual ideas.
I was in a desperate situation back then and have experienced strong contrast which led to this desire. However, I've had a huge amount of resistance while simultaneously my desire was as huge.
When I began to study about the Law of Attraction, I devoured every article and every book about this topic. I read for hours every day to understand the principles and methods about manifesting. It took an extremely large dose of Abraham Hicks, Bashar and Inward Quest to completely understand these ideas intellectually. I was desperate to improve my life and for the first time ever, I felt that I am powerful and that maybe, life is not so hard after all.
Back to this huge desire of mine.
It took me years to let go of all of the limiting beliefs around this desire. In the beginning, I was not even sure if I could manifest it at all. Then it took me another two years (!) to release all the guilt that overcame me when I thought about the desire, I felt truly unworthy of anything good.
Finally, after three and a half years of tapping, reading and trying a lot of processes, I was in a place where I felt quite good about my desire. I had days where I truly believed that I have it and that it's mine.
But it didn't manifest. I got vibrational matches almost every single day (and I wrote them down!) but it didn't manifest.
I had to balance my need for this thing for more than three years and there were times when I was yearning hard :) Three months ago I truly gave up on my desire and was able to focus on something else. But it didn't manifest nonetheless.
I knew that I was understanding these ideas perfectly and that I knew what to do. But something was missing.
I've experienced some minor health issues as a result of the opposing forces inside me (desire vs. resistance) and at times I've truly felt that I've became more but I wasn't letting it in. I've suffered a lot. The cause of all suffering really is a lack of allowing what you want!
A month ago, I came to a turning point where I finally realized where I went wrong all of this time! Even though I was getting these ideas intellectually, I've managed to not vibrate in harmony with my desire. I know that sounds too simple to be true and some of you might be laughing at this, but it finally clicked for me that I didn't dominantely feel in harmony with my desire!
When I was doing the Grid work @Stingray mentioned on IQ I've generated some emotions concerning my desire and for the first time in my life I've experienced how "success" feels like! And it blew my mind!
When I was vibrating in these high vibrations like wealth, security, all is well I've had a small shock because in that moment I completely understood why my desire never manifested.
Due to my childhood I was used to feeling unsafe, not successful and certainly not wealthy. Even though I've turned my life around during these four years and I've become a truly happy and positive person, I was still used to feeling all of these "not so good feeling emotions".
And even though I've always understood these manifesting ideas intellectually and knew many of @Stingray's posts by heart, I managed to not vibrate in harmony with my desire.
I hope all of this makes sense and that at least one person finds this helpful. Now I believe that my desire will soon manifest (I'm still working on some minor resistance and on feeling the corresponding emotions even more).
Thank you for everything, Inward Quest.
If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website