This is, for me, a persistent feeling that has dogged me my whole life, and, as things have turned out, most of my family of origin plays no part in my present life.

I love my family very much, but I have never matched them at all! I like classical music; they do not. They are superficial and chatty (not that that is bad), and I am not. I could go on and on about how we never have matched- one interesting note is that my body type is completely different than that of my three sisters. They are tall and large-boned- I am shorter and small-boned.

I just feel that I rushed things about coming back to earth between lives, and ended up in the wrong family. My Dad, to whom I was very close, died in 2006, and ever since, I have had no connection to my family. It is as if he was the only reason I was accepted at all. I have not seen my sisters since the funeral.

Have you ever felt like this? I call it "The Cow Bird Syndrome".

Blessings, Jai

asked 13 Jul '11, 15:52

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 13 Jul '11, 16:03

The American prophet Edgar Cayce was asked about this feeling many years ago by a client who came to him for a reading. I can't find the exact quote in my books, but I remember the story well, so I will paraphrase. The young man was told that because of TIMING and LOCATION he chose his family pre-birth. They were not people he had strong ties to from past lives or between lives on the other side. Therefore, although he loved these people, he had only chosen them to facilitate certain paths he had to walk in his life. Their ties were not deep ones. He recommended the young man honor, respect and love his family but to go his own way without guilt, because they also did not have close bonds with him either and would be accepting of that....that this would be best for all concerned and cause the least stress. I don't know Jai, but maybe it is something like this that happened to you? You have often mentioned your closeness to your father, but perhaps he was the only one out of the family who you had strong ties to? What do you think?

Best wishes!


answered 14 Jul '11, 16:37

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

This sounds about right to me. I just wish that I had not experienced the horrendous abuse that i did....But I guess , someday, that will make sense as well. Thank you so much. I will try and research the Cayce link.>>>>>>>>>>>

(15 Jul '11, 04:41) Jaianniah

So glad to hear you mention Edgar Cayce, such an amazing man

(15 Jul '11, 19:27) Susan 1
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, 
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, 
and He bends you with His might 
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, 
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

-- Kahlil Gibran

answered 13 Jul '11, 19:56

Vesuvius's gravatar image


I have always loved this poem...ty for the reminder.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

(21 Aug '11, 22:58) Jaianniah

My deepest darkest question: Mother, why do you hate me so??

Sometimes I feel I am in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people.

then I remember:

I am my favorite person....I think about me all the time :)


answered 21 Aug '11, 21:12

Erin2's gravatar image


Erin, I like you and my mom hated me, too. I am glad you love you. Much love,>>>>>>>>>>>>>

(21 Aug '11, 22:57) Jaianniah

I do understand what you are feeling. Of course my story is different. I don't feel like I fit in or belong anywhere, even with my family. However, since we attract everything, we attracted our family also. The person we are today is because of our experiences in the womb and since then, but especially the first six years. For the first six years and while we are in the womb, we download information including perceptions of our parents and other caretakers. So, my not fitting in, is a result of all the downloaded information in my subconcious mind. EFT can neutralize the negative emotions associated with the events in our lives and clear up limiting beliefs etc... that we picked up along the way. We are like a big maget being dragged through the dirt, collecting everything that we attract. Sometimes we wake up and realize that we don't like the stuff we are attracting, so we dump all the junk with EFT and reset our magnet to a better frequency so that as we drag through the dirt, we only collect the good stuff and don't attract the bad stuff anymore at our new frequency. I think that the belief, whether it is true or not, that you were born into the wrong family is hurting you deep down inside and causing you much of the physical and mental pain that you are experiencing. I suggest that you do the EFT on "Even thought I don't belong in this family, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." You can also tap on any specific events that cause you to feel this way and the feelings that go along with them. YOu can use Stingray's Manifesting Experiment 4 to systematically eliminate the emotions and limiting beliefs that cause you to feel this way. Do that until you get it down to a 0 then tap in a positive, "I belong in my family and am loved." or something that suits you, not now, but after you tap out the negative. Blessings,

Edit I thought of another way to put it. If you don't feel like you belong in your family, you also must feel that you don't belong in your body. So you are having this battle with your body with all these pains and ailments, like flesh eating disease you mentioned. So you could tap 3x on the karate chop point, "Even though I don't belong in this body, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." with the reminder phrase, "I don't belong in this body," and/or "This isn't the body I was meant to have," or what you feel along this line. Then when you get this to 0 or 1, tap in, "I love my body, I love who I am, I love me, I love myself." Peace and blessings


answered 14 Jul '11, 14:51

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

edited 15 Jul '11, 16:17

Sorry...I lost track of this question...and will definitely try tapping this out of me! BTW, the EFT IS WORKING FOR ME1!!!!!!! Thank you and Wade for being persistent! Great post! Thanks!>>>>>>>

(21 Aug '11, 22:54) Jaianniah

I guess you had to be ready to read it. I am so glad it it working for you now. Yay! I know it has helped me tremendously.

(21 Aug '11, 23:08) Fairy Princess

Hi Jaianniah, I too had this feeling for many years and through my learning I have found that there are no mistakes made in the bigger picture of our lives at the planning stage. Our biggest growth is through family, this in my opinion is where our challenges/lessons are triggered and it took me years to work this one out, but I have to add that it was worth it.

I would also like to add that LeeAnn reference to Edgar Cayce is really worth a follow up. He was an amazing man and has written some wonderful papers.


answered 15 Jul '11, 19:26

Susan%201's gravatar image

Susan 1

Thank you for the validation! +1+blessings,>>>>>>>>>>>>

(21 Aug '11, 22:56) Jaianniah

it is said that we, in a way, are the ones who choose our parents,
in that they most favorably provide what we need for our next steps in growth.
this may only make some sense with an understanding of karma and the reincarnating ego,
your development of individuality is the primary motivating imputus of this family of origin


answered 21 Aug '11, 22:33

fred's gravatar image


Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website

Related Questions