Okay...So I really, really screwed up. My life got to be such a mess that I had to take some drastic steps to change it. And I do mean drastic!

I left my home state, my house and everything in it...in short, I "booked out of town", because I realized that my life was on the line.

I also realized that I was not going to be happy away from a certain person, not ever, so I decided, "Whither thou goest, I will follow"...and I did!

I took a look at ALL the medications, which had built up and up over a period from 1993 until now (Summer 2011) and decided to stop all of them! I am totally and terribly sick, but I will live...meantime,you can read about all of that suffering here if you have an interest, which is not necessary to this discussion.

What I have begun to see is this: Out of all this mess has come some very great good. What good, you ask?

Well, I now have a life!!! (What a shocker!) I have a wonderful partner in life!!! Yay! I have begun to build a solid foundation in a faith, instead of a pretend faith, while actually trusting my pain pills more than God.

So I guess I have Michaela to thank for this question...she was asking about the loss of free will, and it made me think. Did I really ever have free will as I was? And furthermore, look at what good God is making out of what I would call "garbage". I even have a pretty new ring on my left hand!!! (OMG!) I cannot count my blessings now.

So, have you ever screwed up big-time? And what did you do then? Blessings, and a wink, Jai

August 5, 2011