Yup, that is precisely how I feel- and I feel it is an honest assessment, so please don't tell me "it can't be that bad"- I think it has been.

The last year with Wade has been much better, but how do I make up for all the yukky mess that came before this year? I do feel that "guilt", I guess, for being happy.

Or, if it is all one long NOW...Do I must needs make up for anything?

I am so confused.......

your Jai

asked 08 Feb '13, 13:49

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 08 Feb '13, 18:48

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

What do you feel guilty for?

(08 Feb '13, 14:11) flowsurfer

Being happy, I guess...I do not feel I deserve such a wonderful, patient man....

(08 Feb '13, 16:33) Jaianniah

Being happy is not a problem,being patient is not a problem.Those are all good quality.when used wisely in truth with a good heart.If you made error learn from it and correct it how else does one reach perfection? Like jesus said repent and sin no more. When someone fail he learn from it and get back up,this you see on the outside in the inside it is the same. it start from the inside to the outside.

(09 Feb '13, 02:45) white tiger
showing 1 of 3 show 2 more comments

Be kinder to yourself, to start with. You were doing the best you could do, at the time, with the light and circumstances that you had. When you look back, which we all do sometimes, remember that you were doing the best you could, and look at your past self with compassion and understanding, rather than reproach. It's gone now in any case and can't be dredged up even if you wanted to or could. Look upon it with love and understanding, and then let it go. By surrounding your past scenes with love and by loving yourself, you ARE making up for it and ARE healing it; that is all you need to do. And then relish the present without guilt!


answered 08 Feb '13, 18:44

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1


@LeeAnn1, such a loving answer!! but isnt it the case that one finds it easier to be compassionate towards others its so difficult to extend the same kindness and compassion towards oneself?

(08 Feb '13, 18:51) dreamersmiles

@Lee Ann 1- Thank you so much, dear. It's been a looonnnggg haul, for me.I have good days and bad. I gotta learn that new walk- "without reproach". Yeah. Thanks. J. <3

(08 Feb '13, 19:09) Jaianniah

@dreamersmiles, if one chooses to look at self as a separate entity in this instance , then it's quite easy to extend compassion . Look in the mirror and ask , would I treat this person any less gentle than say Jaianniah , LeeAnn , Stingray or White Tiger ? ♥♥♥

(08 Feb '13, 19:34) Starlight

@LeeAnn 1 wonderful ,just wonderful.. you ARE so right!

(09 Feb '13, 02:59) ursixx

@LeeAnn 1 Lovely answer LeeAnn and beautifully put.

(09 Feb '13, 03:30) Catherine

Thank you all for the kind words. I think Starlight hit it on the head though....the secret to self-forgivness and to moving forward is to be as kind to yourself as you would be to others.

(09 Feb '13, 08:41) LeeAnn 1

@LeeAnn 1 - Yes, I loved your answer, and @Starlight's comment. I would never, ever look at you or the other good folks here and judge and condemn you the way I do myself. It is so important for us to treat ourselves with the kindness and respect we give others, at the very least. @Jai, please be easy on yourself. You are loved. There is nothing to forgive, nothing for you to atone for. You are a perfectly imperfect human, just like the rest of us. All is well. :)

(09 Feb '13, 22:59) Grace

Bless you, @Grace, and everyone who has helped me feel so much better! TY! <3<3<3 Jai

(10 Feb '13, 01:31) Jaianniah
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments

This is a sign that your beliefs are being put to the test and are in evolution - it's a great opportunity to change, a time to get rid of the excess "baggage",old encrusted beliefs that are weighing you down. It can lead to a better more inspiring and harmonious way of life if you so wish - true it's a disrupting feeling but with courage and strength we get through in the end - follow your inner guiding light that always leads to an improved state of being.


answered 09 Feb '13, 03:18

ru%20bis's gravatar image

ru bis

@ru bis "follow your inner guiding light" If you follow the light you stay out of the darkness.. great answer!

(09 Feb '13, 03:48) ursixx

A simple way would to make a "bucket list" and list as many items as you like. A "bucket list" is just a list of things that you would like to do before you pass away, or you can just write down the things you have wanted to do in your younger years but did not manage to.

Even if some of the things you might want to write down at first might seem ridiculous to you, just write it down anyway, for instance "bungee jumping" at your age. As you slowly tick your list off, you will definitely feel a lot better and find that you actually still have a lot of time for all these nonsensical and extra stuff!


answered 10 Feb '13, 12:13

kakaboo's gravatar image


Since there is only Now, you can choose to spend that Now enjoying Now, or remembering the past, or imagining the future. The thoughts we think cause an emotional response. The thought combined with the emotion is a belief. We create our reality with our beliefs. Use Two Hands Touching with EZ Deletion Sequence and this list of emotions to clear up your vibration. Your vibration that you send out is what is echoed or reflected back to you as life experiences. Use EZDS to clear memories that already haunt you. You don't need to go digging in the past. If while you are clearing one thing, something pops into your minde, put it aside and clear it when you are done clearing what you are clearing at the time. I have found this to help me tremendously. I hope it helps you also. Blessings


answered 10 Feb '13, 12:44

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

The reason why you suffer is because you are living in the past. You feel like you wasted their time because you are comparing "Now" to the "Past". Stop comparing and then you will not stress as much.


answered 10 Feb '13, 22:40

arpgme's gravatar image


So true! ty! jai

(11 Feb '13, 02:34) Jaianniah
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