Whatever you think about yourself is what you are. You mentioned that you could be brash and said "when I was told recently that I cared more about my own feelings than I do the feelings of others, I thought, you know that IS probably true" so you may have answered your own question already.

Only you can decide who you are or who you want to become. Other people can have opinions but you make your reality what it is and decide who and what you are.

I think the bigger question here may be - do you want to change how you are to other people or are you fine with the way things are in your life? Is being brash and self-centered something you actually wish to change in your life? If acting in those ways are making things not so great, than you can easily choose to change your habits.

Now if you are putting your own feelings ahead of others when it comes to raising your vibrational frequeny for the betterment of your life than that is a different story. Sometimes we need to care more about how we feel than listening to opinions of others and letting them affect our growth and expansion.

so what does that say about me?

From what you said, you know who you are as a person. It just comes down to a decision if you like that particular way of doing things or not.

The majority of people consider themselves first whether they admit it or not so it is one of those normal and natural things for after all one is concerned with one owns survival first. It's the way we are.

Not all people realize that this might hurt others or be inconsiderate towards others so hats of to you. What this says about you is that just by asking the question you are questioning yourself and your motives and now you can be more conscious of others and be more considerate about their feelings. It wont happen overnight but slowly but surely you will become one of those good considerate citizens.

well scot i will ask you a fee question first do you think you are better then the other? why do you think that? are you judging people around you? who are you to think that your feeling are better then the others? who are the others to think that their feeling are better then yours? are you perfect? are they perfect? if you answer all those question in truth you will know if you are self centered and if it is for the better or worse. experience and enjoy.

one may try using the memory of the intense feeling later in the evening
when the pace of things has slackened,
getting to understand the reaction that set off the burst,
do we really want to know and how it heals with considering others

It's normal to be concerned with our own feelings first and foremost, but even so, we should consider the feelings of others in order to be a well rounded person who has good relations with others. Being overly brash at the expense of others means being overly selfish. It's a highly correctable trait, so if you think you have become unbalanced and insensitive, just start considering the feelings of others more often.