I used to dream big a lot. When I was learning guitar I dreamed of becoming some great rock star guitar player. I became a guitar wizard, now I play for my church not using 98% of my talent just playing chords in rhythm. It is okay I guess I am needed and when the parishioners can hear me they enjoy it I suppose.

I also had dreams of being a great motivational and spiritual speaker, I studied and really enjoyed the enlightening experiences I had. I'd meditate for hours many days and study with my mystery schools. I'd ponder everything and really find deep meaning revealed to me. I did this to the point of when I made my Yahoo group The God Consciousness Experiment. That was when I was at my peek really being inspired everyday. I got to the point of being all powerful in my dreams because of all my spiritual work I did. I did share much here and SDDLightworkers before I came here how other than that that dream fizzled out too.

Then another thing was manifesting I got into, again I dove into that similar to the spiritual with The Secret, Secret Of The Ages, 16 Lessons in The Law of Attraction, Think and Grow Rich, not to mention all the CDs, tapes and DVDs from people. Plus Avatar EPC books on of course How our thought creates our experience. I used to meditate with millionaire mindset CDs to change my mind to the mindset of millionaires. I myself wrote a lot on this and have had experiences to back that up.

But I have come to a point that I just don't feel goals and dreams are worth the effort. Now it is like to me "Could I pay my bills? Did I eat today? Am I still living with a roof over my head?" Good then I survived another day in the status quota.

I have given up dreams and goals little by little for just surviving through life. Jai still has big dreams. I support her in that, but as for me, I don't have any goals or dreams anymore. It really doesn't matter to me what comes or doesn't, I don't care, just as long as I survive.

What do you do when goals and dreams just don't mater anymore and you just don't care to bother with the effort because it just no longer seems worth the effort and survival is enough?

asked 27 Dec '11, 16:47

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

closed 30 Dec '11, 12:17

Kathleen%20Kelly's gravatar image

Kathleen Kelly ♦♦

Thank you so much all my friend here in IQ! I suppose a big part of my failure at my dreams is I am a perfectionist like my father. So no matter what I do I know there is always someone better than I am out there. This at first has a motivating quality but it turns into a demotivating thing. As in "Why try I am not good enough yet." This turns into "I give up, I am not good enough anyway. Besides there are others better than I am." That is a very humble quality, Jai says I am the humblest person she ever knew because I downplay everything I do. I just feel no matter what I could do it better.

(30 Dec '11, 03:24) Wade Casaldi

But what I have done is alright but not good enough for me.

(30 Dec '11, 03:26) Wade Casaldi

Then when money worries come I feel I have been wasting time on my aspirations that I could have spent earning money to pay my bills. In other words just paying my bills makes me happy. That is a very pale comparison to my aspirations but at least it is staying afloat above the water in life.

(30 Dec '11, 03:30) Wade Casaldi

Wade Casaldi you are a great motivational spiritual speaker through the writen word. Yes thats right and I'll say it again in my answer just know that what you do counts to many of us on inward quest and you do it well.

(30 Dec '11, 10:13) Paulina 1

I'd do a You Tube video if I buy some recording equeptment, I bought a four track digital recorder and never really figured out how to use it! lol First I would need good sound then video and try to match the dubbing perfectly in sync with the video. It just seems like a lot I don't know how to do that usually people pay someone to make a video for them.

(10 Jan '12, 01:08) Wade Casaldi
showing 1 of 5 show 4 more comments

Wade, you say you want to be a famous guitarist? What has stopped you? You said you wanted to be a motivational speaker and it sounds like you pretty much got it off the ground but let it fizzle out. Why did you stop evolving with your Spiritual Group? What was the energetic cause of your giving up? Could it be a limiting belief? One where you don't deserve an abundant life filled with the joy of your music and insightful words? What does it take to deserve an abundant life? Could this be from a religious belief that says you are not worthy to go to heaven unless you suffer? This is one of the biggest limiting beliefs taught in all religions. Examine this. See if you carry a belief that you must suffer in order to be worthy.

We may experience challenges in our life and look at them as a punishment from God. Our perception is of a punishment, taught from the punishing God belief that all religions teach. We must look at these challenges as opportunities to make the changes we need to create the life we want.

Is it fear that is stopping you from being a rockstar/motivational speaker/spiritual counselor? If so, your desire must be greater than your fear. Increase the strength of your desire to conquer your fear. And remember that what most of us fear the most is our own light, our own greatest abilities and this fear robs the world of all we have to give. It sounds like you have helped hundreds, thousands or more in your work. Acknowlege your efforts and achievements. Celebrate yourself. Goals are a great planning tool. My teacher always says, "Intent is the building block of the outcome." Don't lose track of your intent. Remember why you want to do it! You may have to adjust your goals to maintain a balance in your life, but don't give up on them.

Also, we are being bombarded with Chem-Trails in our skies that is affecting us all and one of the symptoms is giving up. Passivity. Search the chemicals in these Chem-Trails and see how they affect us. They have high levels of alluminum, barium and scopalimine. Scopalimine is a chemical that has been used before to control the masses. It was referred to as the zombie drug. Look up how this was used in the past. This is part of why you feel like giving up. When you find out how it was used to make people passive you will strengthen your desire to come back strong. It will infuriate you. One of the things you can do to counteract this is to sniff lavender oil and rose oil. Be aware and remember there are many still that need your assistance and kind words. You never really know how much you helped someone with all you have to give.

And last but not least, the animalistic nature of survival is currently a strong energy that is affecting us all. This is a very big subject and I will attempt to explain it briefly. The 3rd dimension on the earth plane was not intended for humans. It was intended for plants, animals and insects. When humans chose to experience this 3rd dimension on earth they took on the animalistic nature of survival. That is emotions like fear, greed, anger, jealousy, depression, anxiety... and in the animal kingdom these are protective tools for their survival and it works well for them. Humans do not benefit from these emotions. As far as ths status quo I do not live my life according to what other people and more importantly the mass consciousness state is acceptable. I do not compare myself to what others have, say or do. First of all that is limiting myself and more importantly it isn't what makes me happy to have what they have or be like them. Life is not about surviving, it is about thriving. This is about you, this is about your life and this is about the quality of your life. Tell yourself you love yourself and you deserve a quality of life that supports all your heart desires. Then do what you have to to strengthen your desires so they are stronger than whatever it is that opposes them.

Sorry to go on and on, but I actually kept it brief. Search and examine your feelings. Winter is the proper time for your inward quest. Remember your greatness and all you have to offer to the world and broaden your perception to see challenges as opportunities to expand your consciousness and grow your abilities.

Hey! I forgot to mention the opposite polarities will always be presented when trying to make changes or create something in your life. For example: A drug addict who is trying to get away from drugs will always be presented with the opposing force and run into an old drug buddy that wants them to get high. They have a choice to go against what their friend wants them to do and focus and remember what it is they want. This is no different than a musician that wants to become a famous guitarist but is presented with the limiting beliefs imbedded in their subconscious from religious indoctrinations imposed from a society that tells them they don't deserve it and are not good enough or have not suffered enough. Part of this is our perception of how great we really are. Know your greatness.

You sound like a beautiful being with great abilities.

From the Heart!



answered 29 Dec '11, 19:20

Assister's gravatar image


edited 29 Dec '11, 20:01

Wow I loved this answer Assister that is great.

(30 Dec '11, 10:36) Paulina 1

Not so much as a religious view of not good enough as much as a personal view.

(07 Jan '12, 03:20) Wade Casaldi

well wade you should enjoy what you have. you might not be a rock star but you are a good guitar player. you see nothing is lost and you can still experience more. what you have is with you and that is alot more important then being famous or rich. remember this you can be rich and famous one day and poor and forgotten the next day. but if you are you and did not lost what you have you are still rich inside and that is what matters. so experience and enjoy wade.


answered 27 Dec '11, 18:21

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger


I totally agree with White Tiger, Wade.

(27 Dec '11, 22:56) LeeAnn 1

Excelent White Tiger.

(30 Dec '11, 10:15) Paulina 1

Hello Wade, seems to me it's a case of "yesterday i felt like a million dollars, now i feel like 50 cents" ... get back into the "vortex" and you'll feel like a million dollars again, and remember that being in the vortex means simply enjoying life to the full whether a king or a road sweeper :)


answered 27 Dec '11, 18:14

blubird%20two's gravatar image

blubird two

edited 28 Dec '11, 04:58

Your question is asking, I believe, how do I do more than just survive? In fact, I believe that you are really asking these questions: How do I get back my zest for life??? How do I thrive despite the new pressures I am feeling in life???

It sounds a little nit like you are smiling on the outside, but crying on the inside...Which, of course, makes me sad...

All I can say is that I have learned from my life that that, in the end, what really matters is not how big a splash you make in the world, but rather, whether you made a difference in the lives of others. Making a splash is quite the thing these days, but helping little old ladies across the street...well, let's just say that the unsung hero pretty much is unsung these days...

I do not know if it matters to you or not, but I want to take this opportunity to remind you that, like George Bailey, there would be a pretty big hole in the world if you were not here. I would not be here to write this answer at all if it were not for you.

You saved my life. I surely would be dead if it had not been for you.

I quote the Bible:

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.

Please read from Matthew 6:20 on, and see what Jesus says about where your treasure should be...And then think back to when we saw the play, "It's a Wonderful Life!" and try to see yourself as a sort of modern George Bailey. Please know that You do matter, you ARE making a difference, and that when you review your life with Jesus someday, I think you are going to be proud of all you really have done already!

Chin up, my love!

Yours always,



answered 29 Dec '11, 11:53

Jaianniah's gravatar image


I didn't have time to answer this when I first saw your post and I've had difficulty connecting to IQ since the move.. I think if I had, I would have said much of what Fairy Princess did, only not as well. If your destiny is to be a rock star - do as Fairy Princess advised - play in bars and cafes and her video idea is also really good idea. Yes, a you-tube video - you never know who is watching - look at Justin Bieber.

Maybe, you were NOT destined to be a famous rock star - not in God's plan. Your talents are needed elsewhere. I'm sure many people who take up guitar aspire to be a star; but if everyone became rock stars, who would play chords in the church choirs or teach guitar? So you're not famous like Hendrix and you never won any Grammies or headlined at a rock fest - you're still a guitar wizard and you're strumming chords in God's choir, where you're both needed and appreciated !

Ask yourself this - if you had or do become a famous guitar player - would you be who you are now? How would or will it affect your spiritual connection? Would Jai be in your life if you had become a famous rock star? Would this affect your martial arts?

"when the parishioners can hear me they enjoy it I suppose" - ah, Wade - you are too modest. Humility is indeed a virtue. Humble means modest, not proud or arrogant - but it can also mean having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, low in rank, importance, status or quality - lowly. Being humble doesn't mean you shouldn't take pride in what you do. Perhaps your "humility" is preventing you from obtaining your dreams - LOA. You don't sound like most rock stars. Don't get me wrong - I'm sure most of them if not all of them are extremely grateful - "Abundance comes from Gratitude".. BUT - they also take pride in their achievements. You need to "own" it.

I never really had big dreams or goals like you had (or have). I always thought of goals as a type of competition. I never wanted to be a competitive goal setting individual like those I witnessed setting goals in college when I was getting my business degree (probably due to the fact it was NOT what I wanted a degree in).. Naturally, I wanted to be successful; but I ALSO wanted success for everyone else too - I never wanted to be better than anyone else. Although, WTS - most successful people do set goals - but not ALL.

I also think you are already a great motivational speaker right here at IQ. You're well known here and you are very good at what you do - you've helped many people - perhaps this is your claim to fame or your ticket to or the type of motivational speaking you are destined to do. I won't forget the kindness you showed me when I was down Christmas night.

As time passes, we grow older - we change - life forces us to change. Our desires, needs, dreams, priorities and even our values can and do change. What we dreamed of at 5 isn't the same as what we wanted or needed at 15 and when we were 25 we wanted different things than we will at 30 or 40 or 50. What was once important, no longer matters and I'm certain, on your death bed - you won't be thinking about the awards you won or the time you played guitar at Times Square on New Year's Eve - you'll be thinking about the people you love and the time you spent with them and the joy you felt from helping others. I know what is important to me at this stage of my life are people, love, being kind, patience, peace, happiness, joy and by helping others and practicing random acts of kindness - well, it makes me feel good and perhaps this is my "purpose" for being here. By helping others, we help ourselves - money and fame doesn't buy happiness. As for just making ends meet - it's been my experience - "the Universe/God always provides".

You're ok just as you are - you're "good" enough just as you are and it's ok to dream other dreams or even to no longer have dreams.. I think you are too hard on yourself. You are held in very high regard at IQ and you've helped many people. Jai certainly feels that way. You and Jai are part of the "heart" of IQ because you are both so open and its evident you both wear your "heart on your sleeve".

Let me end this by saying - anyone who has a 6th degree Black Belt in martial arts has the concentration, determination and most importantly the discipline to be anything he aspires to be or achieve anything he wants to. What's missing? Attitude, pride and self esteem - work on those along with practicing gratitude and you will achieve your dreams - even if your dreams do change.


answered 09 Jan '12, 23:15

ele's gravatar image



Wow Ele if I hadn' already gave best answer I would have picked yours! You really understand me and explained things I did not see before, like your thing on humbelness and inferiority Wow! Yes I guess I have much to work on and you are right, had I gone on to be a rock star I might have a lot of money and a rich life but my spiritual side would have never awakened. I would not be with Jai now, something I am very happy with her being here. I do feel like George Baily as my Jai pointed out he wanted to build skyscrapers and never got to but instead he saved an entire town of friends.

(10 Jan '12, 01:19) Wade Casaldi

Thanks Wade - I would have given best answer to Jai's George Baily analogy.

(10 Jan '12, 01:36) ele

Wade - you mentioned how you used to set goals - thought you would like this thought provoking quote.

"If you live without goals, you’ll explore new territory. You’ll learn some unexpected things. You’ll end up in surprising places" Leo Babauta

(15 Jan '12, 01:55) ele

yes ele similar to what i often say.the journey is more important then the target.

(15 Jan '12, 02:09) white tiger

White Target - how true. Our journey is 'life' with all its twists and turns. Had I been focused on setting and attaining goals; I wouldn't have enjoyed the journey. I wouldn't be who I am now had I been focused on goals instead of experiences. The quote I posted helps me understand as well as feel better about never being a goal setter.

Ding - Dong - NOW, I know WHY you often end your answers by saying "Experience and Enjoy"

(15 Jan '12, 02:34) ele

well ele you came to this world to experience this world. it was your choice before you where born. if it was not your choice you would not be in this world right now. so experience and enjoy.

(15 Jan '12, 02:43) white tiger
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

There is a big belief system in place that is the American Dream, that we can all make it, we can all be successful but statistically that doesnt hold water.

Two hundren years ago we were told that god had created the social structure and the hierachy was created by God. That ensured the poor didn't complain too much.

Now we are told that we can all make it. That opportunity is open to all of us. That also ensures that we dont complain too much.

Try reading http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology) by mihaly Csikszentmihaly for a more realistic route to enjoyment.


answered 28 Dec '11, 00:04

Alan%20Crabbe's gravatar image

Alan Crabbe

So then I was right there comes a time when we need to get our head out of the clouds, stop dreaming of something better and just deal and endure life like everyone else does.

(28 Dec '11, 02:51) Wade Casaldi

I don't think it has too be negative. If you read mihaly its more about recognising that enjoyment comes from being absorbed in the activity that we are doing. It may be that this will lead you to great success and fame but your target wont be that because you will start to recognise what brings enjoyment in life.

Fame and success could lead you to be more motivated and more confident in your creativity and lead to more enjoyment in your life.

Anyway read Mihaly and it will be helpful and could motivate you to keep going and stay positive.

Hope that helps. alan

(28 Dec '11, 16:15) Alan Crabbe

You said that you dreamed of becoming some great rock star guitar player, but now you play for your church not using 98% of your talent just playing chords in rhythm.

Well, there is a wide range of possibilies between those two options. On the star side, would you sign a rock star contract right now if someone offered you one? Would it depend on questions like: do you have to travel; if so how much; can you take Jai; how much money will you get; or are you just happy with the fame; what kind of outfits will you have to wear; how will you feel about that; will the crew be doing drugs and/or alcohol; will you be tempted to use drugs and alocohol if you are living that lifestyle; what kind of music will you be playing; who will write the songs; who has final say over these things? ect... I know you are a spiritual and religious man. I don't think the rockstar lifestyle is really your dream. So, what is really your dream concerning playing the guitar and being a rockstar?

If you have solutions to these and really do want to be a rockstar, then what is stopping you? In this technological age, you can video yourself demonstrating your guitar wizardry and post it on youtube and facebook and any other networking site. I would love to see that by the way. Justin Beiber was discovered that way as were others. If you find fears and limiting beliefs that are stopping you, do EFT on them. Have Jai tap along with you.

Even if you don't really want to be a rockstar anymore for any of the reasons I mentioned or didn't mention, you can still make a video and put it up for others to see. You can write a song and sing that, or sing a favorite by someone else.

Also, there might be local restaraunts, cafes, coffee houses, etc... that would let you sit there and play music for the patrons. You might even make money. You can start a band. Put up flyers if you don't know any musicians.

You said that you also had dreams of being a great motivational and spiritual speaker. Well, what do you mean by that? Did you want to have a retreat where people come to listen to you, or did you want to have workshops in different places, or did you want to write a book or speak on cds? You write on here quite frequently and many of your questions and answers are helpful to somebody. So you are to an extent doing this. If you want to take it further, write down your ideas and make a book or a script to read. Read your script on tape and give it to friends to 'test' your work. Ask them questions about it and make any changes. You can make your own copies or have them made and sell them online. Ask yourself some questions like: what is stopping me from doing this? Use your answers as scripts for EFT and tap our your fears and limiting beliefs.

You said that It really doesn't matter to you what comes or doesn't, you don't care, just as long as you survive. I can relate to that. I don't think that it really doesn't matter, I think you have just changed your priorities. I too have come to this place. So, what we must do is make a list of our current priorities like: raising my son to be a great man; helping others; making the world a better place; finding joy in everything; knowing God; having peace; being kind and loving; finding others with similar understanding; accepting others even when they think differently; being one with All; etc... With this list, then we can see where we need to go or what we need to do to make these a reality. If the reasons we cannot accept this is because of what we fear others think of us, then there is another issue to tap on with the EFT. We must 'set our intention' so that we know which way to go in life. I have not been big on goal setting since I was a kid and had every dream shot down for some reason or other, look at that, an issue to tap on. But I do set my intent so that I am not completely aimless in the world. My intention or values help me in my actions and words and thoughts like setting boundaries for my subconscious to guage my reactions to the world.

My values are my drivers through life. Notice that I didn't list getting rich as a value. So getting rich is not one of my drivers, so I am not doing things and making choices that would lead to that end. It would be nice to be rich, but I have higher priorities. And that is ok too.

So, you ask "What do you do when goals and dreams just don't mater anymore and you just don't care to bother with the effort because it just no longer seems worth the effort and survival is enough?"

What makes you happy? What gives you joy? Muster up that feeling like you are in love, excited, full of joy. Notice how it makes you smile, it makes your skin tingle, it feels like every cell in your body is singing! Then, as you go about your day, as often as you think of it, muster up that feeling and hold on to it as long as you can. Make your goal to make that your constant state. If you start asking well what if this or that? Well then tap on those fears, because they are not a part of right now unless you invite them. And then, when you find yourself in that constant state, then that's all that matters.


answered 29 Dec '11, 14:31

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

edited 29 Dec '11, 17:13

Wow thanks Fairy Princess I need to pour over this more when I have more time but right now I am very happy with this answer!

(29 Dec '11, 16:45) Wade Casaldi

Beautiful answer Fairy Princess truly insightful.

(30 Dec '11, 10:25) Paulina 1

well said :)

(07 Jan '12, 08:22) streetsanto

Thank you.

(15 Jan '12, 08:53) Fairy Princess
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

Hey Wade.. You have helped me a lot in my time here, hopefully I can return the favor.

I believe our dreams are a glimpse at the future if we continue heading down the path that we are on. Not other people's futures, not humanity's future, your own.

Your subconscious brain is incredibly smart, far smarter than you in fact. So when you are dreaming and you are allowing that side to take control, it begins 'processing' all the input you have given it, and trying to figure out where you are going to end up from there.

So if your dreams are good, you're probably on the right path. If your dreams are 'eh', you probably have room for improvement. If your dreams are like mine used to be, filled with very very bad and terrible things, then you probably should be extremely careful about what you're doing and turn around. This is what I finally realized was wrong with me, and why I needed to make some serious adjustments first to my body, then to my mind, and most importantly: to my heart, and how I chose to treat people.

I am no expert on dreams, far from it in fact, because my dreams have always haunted me in some of the most terrible ways.. This is merely how I interpret my own personal dreams, and I imagine that if that is how my dreams work, what reason could there be for anyone else's dreams to be any different?

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 29 Dec '11, 10:35

Snow's gravatar image


Snow, I think Wade is talking about goals/dreams.

(29 Dec '11, 13:31) Fairy Princess

Thanks Gio, I just found out who you are in your profile here. Fairy Princess is right, Dreams as in Aspirations, Hopes or Ideals not as in dreams in my sleep.

(29 Dec '11, 16:43) Wade Casaldi

Ah, my misunderstanding. Well.. I am confused as to why you would need help on that. Isn't a conscious dream just anything you want to do in life that brings you happiness?

(29 Dec '11, 21:25) Snow

Yes it is more a substitution of what we believe we would love to be or do to just being happy we could pay the bills.

(30 Dec '11, 02:56) Wade Casaldi

It is like a man dreams of being a great artist. He spends many years working at his art and becoming very good. One day he realizes he is having a hard time making ends meet. He gives up on his dream and gets a factory job so he could pay his bills. He realizes his dream was not going to happen, it wasn't worth the time he wasted that he could have been making money. He is happy he could pay his bills but that is just surviving not enjoying living because enjoying living doesn't earn him money to survive.

(30 Dec '11, 03:05) Wade Casaldi

I understand.. But you are a martial arts instructor, isn't that what you enjoy the most? I wish I was wise enough to do that, but I want to study other martial arts before I ever do. You are one of the wisest people I've spoken to, it would make sense that you could make an amazing living doing that.

(30 Dec '11, 08:19) Snow

I actualy like this answer for now I can look at my dreams to see if I need to change something in life. Thank you Snow

(30 Dec '11, 10:43) Paulina 1
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