After giving up on a goal that is not working positively in your life, at first you may feel that you are healed and you immediately go up on the emotional scale. After some time, though, you may start to regret that decision. It may be that the only reason you really cherished that goal is because it's negativity attracts you somehow - let's say that your life is generally good and you don't feel much emotion, except the thrilling of having that challenging goal. In this case, as time goes by, boredom sets in and you start to think that, after all, giving up on that goal was a bad idea - you miss the excitement of that challenge, as if you were addicted to the goal, not to it's manifestation.

My question is: how to fill the void created by giving up a goal that you have been dragging for years?

I know that there are many answers to that question, as many as the number of people who decides to give it a try. I am eager to learn about all the ideas and techniques people can come up with, because I could really use them right now :)

asked 01 Dec '16, 09:30

VitoriaRegia's gravatar image

VitoriaRegia
1.3k13

edited 01 Dec '16, 13:23

IQ%20Moderator's gravatar image

IQ Moderator ♦♦
116


It may be that the only reason you really cherished that goal is because it's negativity attracts you somehow - let's say that your life is generally good and you don't feel much emotion, except the thrilling of having that challenging goal.

What you're demonstrating here is that, given a choice, we are always attracted to some kind of energy flow through us (even if a bad-feeling one) rather than no energy flow at all. See Where does apathy fit into the Emotional Guidance Scale and how does a person get out of that feeling?

how to fill the void created by giving up a goal that you have been dragging for years?

The good news here is that you can never truly give up on a goal or, rather, the strong desire that led to you setting the goal in the first place. The reason for that is that in the launching of that desire, a non-physical part of You expanded to make that desire a permanent part of that Bigger, Broader, Non-Physical You. (See What should we imagine, visualize or believe?)

Now you can't go back to being who you were before you had the desire because you're now a different person...the Physical side may appear to be the same as before but the Non-Physical side is most definitely something different.

So if you can't go back to the previous You, what happens when you "give up" on your goal?

The answer is that all you are really giving up is your resistance to the goal. In other words, giving up on a goal that is not good-feeling to you is an excellent first step towards receiving it :) (See the title of the most highly-voted question on Inward Quest)

Giving Up is actually my preferred method of goal-setting these days :) In fact, it's my preferred method of task-setting also...decide what I want and then give up on it - or rather, just let the Universe sort out the details while I do stuff that feels like fun instead of stuff that feels like hard work. (See Abraham's Placemat Process)

It's a highly effective method for getting things done without getting things done :)

As for your main question...

how to fill the void created by giving up a goal that you have been dragging for years?

Going back to the apathy answer link, the "void" you refer to is just the feeling caused by an absence of fast energy flowing through you (i.e. the "void" of being out of touch with your Bigger, Broader self)...so the solution is just make some firm decisions (about anything) and watch how that void starts to disappear as the life force starts to flow through you again.

In a nutshell, the solution for filling the void of having no goals is to set some goals :)


EDIT - Dec 5, 2016

Stumbled across this Abraham recording talking about "giving up" which seems to fit in here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu0XQzGPD9s

link

answered 01 Dec '16, 12:39

Stingray's gravatar image

Stingray
93.4k21125367

edited 05 Dec '16, 01:56

1

@stingray, thank you for your answer. I've read the posts, they are very enlightening, really brilliant stuff. You explain Abraham's Teachings better than Abraham sometimes! :) I still want to get more answers, know what others have to say about it, but I decided I am going to carefully read through this site and study with focused attention (a new goal). I feel changed, more in the way of joining my Inner Being (poor thing, giving me all that signaling that I was going in the wrong direction!)

(01 Dec '16, 16:37) VitoriaRegia

@VitoriaRegia - You're welcome :)

(02 Dec '16, 04:23) Stingray
1

@Stingray, great recording; thanks for posting.

(05 Dec '16, 07:00) VitoriaRegia
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

I know that there are many answers to that question, as many as the number of people who decides to give it a try. I am eager to learn about all the ideas and techniques people can come up with, because I could really use them right now

The people I know (including myself) that at one point decided to give up, did so because of a simple underlying reason. At least this is what I observe again and again. It's because they get fed up with living up to other people's expectations. It could be the expectation of their parents, co-workers, partners, friends or neighbors they are trying to live up to and that bothers them.

Most of us don't really know what we want until we really know. And what I mean is that often our desires are not truly what we want but they exist to prove someone else wrong. Once we prove them wrong or we get fed up with proving them wrong, we now begin to realize that it was never our true desire anyway. It was just a way to make them accept that we are worthy instead of accepting it ourselves first.

So what I did in these phases of being fed up and deciding to give up was to do what I really felt like wanting to do. When you give up trying to prove other people wrong and you really mean it, you now begin to feel what really feels like fun to you. So my advice would be to do what feels like fun even if it never gets you anywhere or the potential result of that fun is likely to never prove anything to anyone. It could be a hobby or just going for a walk for just for yourself just because you are worth it and you feel like doing it. You don't need any other justification than that.

Decide that having fun is more important to you than losing reputation or being judged. And just let life guide you from there.

"Until you have lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is." - Margaret Mitchell

link

answered 02 Dec '16, 05:55

releaser99's gravatar image

releaser99
15.1k2497

@releaser99, I do agree that sometimes the hidden motivation of some of our goals are to justify our life-style to other people or to society in general. In the beginning of my own journey I didn't realize that, but lately I have given it some real thinking. Sometimes it's difficult to separate our own personal desires from the desire of proving something to others. Worrying about what others might think of us is a real mind-controller. Thank you for reminding me of that.

(02 Dec '16, 07:05) VitoriaRegia

@VitoriaRegia - You are welcome.

(02 Dec '16, 07:59) releaser99
1

@releaser99 - I missed this answer til just now, and I wanted to say thank you. I was distracted reading it, because I just kept identifying ways I'd judged myself harshly and striven hard, only to prove someone else wrong: My work ethic was ruinous to my health; I took it too far trying to prove myself worthy to some who said I was not...

(27 Jan '17, 00:28) Grace

...The pastime, self expression, that I love, the one I will do on my own no matter what anyone thinks, or if anyone knows, because what's in me just has to come out, I have hidden away and nearly killed off, because all I reached for for years was prove to someone that they were wrong about me, my talent, my worth. Interestingly, I failed spectacularly in my attempt to impress either of these people...

(27 Jan '17, 00:29) Grace

... It makes sense. The beauty and the lifeforce - the strength of both endeavors - was completely missing. They had to fail. Sorry to blather hahaha, but this blew my mind! LOL Thanks old friend! :D. I feel like I have a lot to think about.

(27 Jan '17, 00:29) Grace

@Grace- I have always admired your humility and your candor.... I am finding out only now, at this late date, because I am finally feeling safe enough to be myself. If safety isn't in place, one just sits in a puddle at the bottom of Maslow's Pyramid, just trying to survive. Wade and I haven't much money, but we are finding out that that if we get by, it is enough. We both need to feel safe- we're both Asperger people....-cont...>

(27 Jan '17, 03:51) Jaianniah

....But I am finally doing things I really just love to do. I am working more on Attraction now because I am in a much safer situation. So many people on this planet will never, ever feel safe. That makes me sad, but perhaps a day will come when 8 or 9 billion people wake up, and care about all the people living on our beautiful, gasping lifeboat.

(27 Jan '17, 03:52) Jaianniah

@VitoriaRegia- great question, btw!

(27 Jan '17, 03:54) Jaianniah

@Jaianniah - I have always thought Maslow missed the fact that so many of us are more driven by the motivations listed higher on his pyramid, simply because we'd found some of those "basic" needs all but impossible to meet! I'm very glad to hear that you are looking at the LOA from a much better place now. Intentional manifestation is always so much easier when it is not solely employed to try to gain something you really need...

(29 Jan '17, 15:12) Grace

...It's easier to see from a safe vantage point, why staying as lighthearted as possible, treating intentional manifestation as a fun game, has always formed such a large part of the advice we've received on this site. Starting small, as in finding a good parking space, is perfect, I think. That is a very long way from food and shelter, and it really is a ton of fun :D

"...one just sits in a puddle at the bottom of Maslow's Pyramid...." Loved that. Great visual. :)

(29 Jan '17, 15:13) Grace
1

@Grace - I'm glad it inspired something within you :).

(30 Jan '17, 15:44) releaser99
showing 2 of 11 show 9 more comments
Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website




Related Questions