The Lord's Prayer, which some people consider to be the ideal prayer, says ..."Give us each day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors..."(Mt 6:11-12). This seems to me a hint that it is okay to pray for what we need...but...I belong to an organization which says it is wrong to pray for yourself at all. What do you think? Do you pray for yourself when you have problems, or is this a form of narcissism?

asked 06 Dec '09, 22:34

Jaianniah's gravatar image


prayer is our pathway of communication to pray to god on a personal basis should be encouraged- christ himself taught us to pray. he said go in your room, close the door and ask the father... look it up in the new testament. who else shall we turn to except god. narcissism has nothing to do w/ it. only narissists believe they can help themselves.

(15 Dec '09, 11:52) eleanor sawitsky

You make excellent points here. Why didn't you formally answer the question? Then I, or someone else, might have given you a few up-votes! Don't be afraid! Thank you! Blessings, Jai

(15 Dec '09, 13:33) Jaianniah

Hope you have joined a new organization since!

(12 Aug '10, 18:52) Back2Basics

Yes, it's ok and I do it all the time and would suffer so much without it. We do better when we feel better. I have to ask, do you feel the organization is too controlling for your growing beliefs and spirituality that you desire?

(14 Nov '12, 09:17) clearheart
showing 0 of 4 show 4 more comments

I think it would be wise to point out to this organization which I know is a Christian organization, how can you be "Saved" without praying for your self? You can't have someone else put Jesus in your heart for you, that is like having someone else eat your food for you.

This brings me to a very good point, "give us this day our daily bread" we can not have someone else eat our bread for us, we must each partake ourselves. We don't say "Give my brothers and sisters their daily bread", I'll wait for them to pray for me to get some later if they want.

This is very self defeating and self effacing, it is like saying I am nothing, everyone else is better than me, more worthy than I am, I'll pray for everyone else but me I deserve what ever damnation I get, because all humanity is worthy of my prayer except me.

Wow that makes me feel like a human floor mat to be used by all and never appreciated, it is this kind of selflessness that leads to suicide or worse homicide when this selfless nicest person on earth snaps for feeling worthless and used by everyone.

It is healthy to take care of our selves not only physical but mental, emotional and spiritual as well. If I am in good shape, I am in shape enough to help others without resent but feeling truly happy to help.

Being selfless is like having a leaky rubber dingy (you never repair it because you feel it is wrong to work on it yourself) trying to rescue as many floating in an ocean as you can, eventually you all sink. But take very good care of your self is like now you have built a ship and can rescue very many people drowning and all can make it safely to land because you are in shape enough to help and to keep your center of happiness and worth.

More just came to me, asking for forgiveness for sins is a prayer for the self, I guess they believe you can only ask for forgiveness for everyone other than your self?


answered 08 Dec '09, 08:44

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 08 Dec '09, 09:16

What a wonderful answer! Your life raft analogy is a perfect illustration of why we must take care pf ourselves ("love your neighbor as thyself"!). Thank you! Blessings to you, Jai

(08 Dec '09, 09:46) Jaianniah

Exactly "Love your neighbor AS THYSELF" not "Love your neighbor more than thyself" lol

(08 Dec '09, 10:26) Wade Casaldi

Vey good Wad Casaldi and you are so right.

(09 Dec '09, 06:29) flowingwater

I like your analogy Wade. I'm sure your answer will help those who have suffered the guilt of wanting for themselves when others around are suffering. You have helped me, because I still deny myself more than what I believe is necessary. Perhaps I should embrace my desires, and not just my needs.

(12 Feb '10, 07:27) The Traveller

Yes always remember if another is worthy you are as well worthy, all one, all equal, not one better not one less than.

(12 Feb '10, 07:55) Wade Casaldi
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

Personally I believe it is. But then - I was not raised Christian and would never consider myself a Christian. Or any religion...

I pray for myself, regularly. If we are to take the bible for its word - Jesus also prayed for himself at times, so the idea of it being wrong would be misplaced. For example, Matthew 26:39 -"Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

Of course, Jesus also recognized the 'will of the Father' and placed it above his own. I consider that something wise to do in any prayers - whether for self or others. Often there are (or can be?) better things in store for us than we would ask for.


answered 06 Dec '09, 22:55

Liam's gravatar image


Who else do we pray for? Isn't it always about us?

When you pray for the suffering of others to stop it's because it's bothering you.

When you bless abundance in another's life it's because this is the world that you want to create for them.

But maybe this may change things a little bit. I believe that the person that we speak to within ourselves, the one we refer to as "me" or "I am" is the same person everyone else also encounters within themselves. It is as-if when you look at the universe, the universe looks at itself through you.

(added later) I just realized that the question could be implied in a different way. for example, if you are in a camp after surviving some disaster & there is only enough food left for half the camp population. would you pray for you and your family to have food or woud you pray that there woud be enough to feed everyone?

This is were, I guess, we have to watch the selfish intent.


answered 06 Dec '09, 22:58

The%20Traveller's gravatar image

The Traveller

edited 06 Dec '09, 23:36

Yes, it is perfectly ok to pray for yourself. We are all selfishly motivated no matter what we do, whether we are praying for ourselves or for others as in both cases, we are doing it because it makes us feel good.

Nobody else knows what is best for you but yourself. The organization is only telling you to do something that serves their best interests which might not be yours. If they are being selfish, then so should you.


answered 06 Dec '09, 23:10

Pink%20Diamond's gravatar image

Pink Diamond

It is perfectly ok as long as you are not praying for yourself at the expense of others. Being in an abundant universe, we are not in a zero-sum game as we are often led to believe. There is enough for everyone.

To Brian, I'm not sure if praying for materialistic things necessarily comes back to bite you. If I prayed for my business to do very well, so that it can sustain itself and continue to feed my employees, and also give some back to society, is that considered bad? :)


answered 07 Dec '09, 03:05

Pat%20W's gravatar image

Pat W

Reality-Creation is essentially praying for yourself, isn't it? So if it was not OK to pray for yourself, it would essentially invalidate the whole idea of manifesting.


answered 07 Dec '09, 06:27

Vesuvius's gravatar image


Prayer is talking to God and Jesus and yes that is exactly what you suppose to do is talk to God about things that concern you, talk to him about your dreams, goals, fears, desires and inrichments in life that you want. You talk to him and thank him for all he has done for you and you talk and ask his help for others, the earth, situiations that are happening.

Prayer is a simple talk I might add an intimate talk I might say with your creator the one who loves you, your savior the one that die for you and I. So yes we can talk to God and Jesus about anything we want to and doing that talk we need to let them know how thankful we are for what they have done for us and for other people and the world.

I ask the Lord Jesus and God to forgive all of us humans for all of the sins we have committed against them, others, and ourselves. I ask God to heal me, others, and mother earth. I ask for peace and a healing of people heart so that we can live and love one another.

When someone is telling you that you can not pray ( which is talking) to God for yourself than who do you think is going to pray for you for know one knows you and what you want and need like you do. Of course God and Jesus knows everything about you. Now you already know that this person is not going to pray for you for the things you want, need, desire, and your goals and dreams. They will pray for their own goals, dreams, and desires.

Only you can ask Jesus to come into your life and heart. Only you can ask forgives of your sins. You have to seek God and Jesus for your self for when Judgement day comes we all will be standing there by ourselves as the book of life is open. Now God has grace and mercy for each of us that ask and come to him. The power of Jesus Christ blood who died on the cross for each and everyone of us who believes in him. Jesus is the word of God spoken and manifest into flesh by God. He loves us just that much.

So, yes talk to God for your self; this prayer talk is personal because it is between you and your heavenly father or brother so it is a spiritual talk to the one who has all power and who loves you so very much.

So, why would you go there in your mind a spiritual place to talk if you were not going to express your own person feeling to him for yourself for all God wants us to do is come to him and talk to him daily. Sometimes you will pray more for your self and sometimes you will pray more for others. Sometimes it will be just for others or someone who you know needs prayer.


answered 07 Dec '09, 07:07

flowingwater's gravatar image


I think, without a doubt, that it is okay. I am only beneficial to others if my own wellbeing is optimal so if I feel there is some area that is lacking, then it is perfectly okay for me to pray for help with that.


answered 07 Dec '09, 13:28

Michaela's gravatar image


When I say, "Thank You!" to God, I am praying,

He hears what I think and am saying

There is no split from His Divine Being;

Nor time apart or distance or separate feeling.

You must pray for yourself before others

Before all your sisters and brothers;

Because Jesus Himself did once say

"Love thy neighbor as thyself" every day!

When you pray, step lightly before God

For at this time, it's Heavenly Land that you trod.

Pray as you breath and work and live

For a prayer is the best gift you can give!

Love and Heavenly light,



answered 08 Dec '09, 10:34

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 08 Dec '09, 16:16

Personally I have experienced the detriment of NOT praying for myself. I suppose my upbringing drilled this into me by implicating that it was selfish... I know that others have prayed for me (as I have prayed f.or them) but I still have a tough time praying for me. I am trying to get beyond the idea that it is selfish but as "flowingwater" stated earlier (and I whole heartedly agree) that I had to pray for ME for ME to be saved. I think that this teaching of it being selfish or such is such a danger! I argued once with my Sunday School teacher about whether or not God "hears the prayers of the unrighteous". My God...if he doesn't how do we BECOME righteous!? I have learned that NOT praying for yourself is evil...just as evil as not praying for others. In today's modern church I think leaders set themselves and the lay person for a "superChristian" straw man, which will surely go down in flames....that's just my opinion.

I will earnestly pray for me AND for others


answered 12 Feb '10, 02:58

ThankGodItAin%27tUp2Me's gravatar image


Of course it is! Remember God is within us, therefor we are praying to the part in us that is God. But be careful in praying for materialistic things, these types of prayers can come back to bite you! Brian


answered 06 Dec '09, 22:59

Brian%205's gravatar image

Brian 5

I think that it is wonderful that you have the ability to pray indeed. I see praying as a gift from God to us. If you have to have a conversation with God, then, how else will you do it, if not through prayer. God is a spirit, for no one has ever seen God, so when you pray, you pray in the spirit, what a wonderful way to communicate with God. There is no harm in praying for yourself. God loves you, so do I, and together we can prayer for each other in the name of Jesus.

If you pray for evil, evil will come to you, if you pray for good, good will come to you. Truthfully, there is no right or worng answers here, you just have to do what feels right for you. And if you like praying for yourself, then go right ahead, and do it. Judgement, in my opinion, will come from God, not man, so be your self, and enjoy! Remember, God loves you just the way you are.


answered 08 Dec '09, 08:39

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦

One of the most important prayers in Eastern Orthodoxy is the Jesus Prayer, which goes like this:

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Amen."

Because it says "have mercy on ME, a sinner", I would say that it's fine. He just wants us to trust Him.


answered 14 Nov '12, 22:25

ExistentiaLux's gravatar image


Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website

Related Questions